ASCLAC part 4
Lolpet and Adventure!!!! i am so happy you are both around here lately. im so damn pissed cause i typed in a long comment and then it froze and got deleted. i dont have the energy to type it in again now, later i will.
Charlie! are things getting bad now with you and scorp? i was already so happy. i do believe though if while you were not on here, you were all the time together again... that means a lot.
did you recognize any positive changes in him? i feel that you did change a lot, like you are not freakin out that much, you are more calmed down. do i see it right?
i am sure there is a reason why you two are still around each other. keep your head up girl! Hugs!
Lolpet! i am so sorry that you feel bad about him. it is never easy to decide. i feel really happy/lucky that i could more or less fast make my decision and walk away. and you see? even so i spent one and a half years of my life with that...
i don't really know what to say, could you still (again) forgive him for things he has done? i dont remember exactly how you broke up the last time (september?), how did it happen?
Hugs for you too sweetheart!
FLOWWWW! if you were any time around here reading (even if you dont write), if life smiles on me and my plans work out, i might be around Amsterdam more times this year!
the truth will set you free...more often than not, it's not knowing it that makes it hard to do anything positive for ourselves.
First off....I am not back. I just saw that Lolpet is writing and decided to say hi.
A belated Happy New Year girl. I haven’t read it all that you wrote because I saw that you are in good hands with Adventure. So starting from this page...I am sorry to hear that your granny is the hospital. I wish her speedy recovery. We (Scorps) aren’t easy...I think both you and Adventure will agree wholeheartedly...lol...okay it’s an understatement. I will apologize for us letting you feel uncertain but believe me it’s the same the other way around. We are just good at covering it up. Bad habits as his drinking will remain a problem. Unless he gets a blow that he has to stop for his own sake. You or anyone getting on his case about it ...is like going into one ear and leaving the other. Some sound will stay in the middle but not enough for him to do something permanent about it. So remain aware of this. The other lady....I will sit this one out if I were you until you are absolutely sure how the situation is.
How are the girls? Okay I know you are like ...how are things with Libra? Well we still in each other’s lives. Started this year great and have a glitch at the moment. “Real” life got in the way. In short he has commitments in his life that are priority at the moment and I am not forcing anything right now. I will be looking him up in February when I got to be in his town for a fair and we will take it from there. At least I know now for certain that he does love me and it’s just complicated yet. I have learned to understand him a bit more and myself too. Not an easy journey either way. I had a chuckle when you wrote that men can’t multitask. Ohhh boy do I know that one...lol Got a mini man here in the house and he panics as I give him 3 things to do at the same time....lol.
Uhmm have lost a few kilos...not enough and I also got a hair chop...well dead ends are out and I got the greys coloured..lol. But you are right...treat yourself to something new...never know when it all will be handy.
You take care of yourself...when I got a time I will pop in again.
Hey Adventure....Lolpet is right you know...enjoy life!!!
Hi Katie, I hope this year brings you a great deal of airmiles...to and from Amsterdam
Good to see you here. I am also glad that things are working well with Libra. (Hmm, Libra and Scorp working out - there is hope for me after all!!! lol)
I am very good at waiting things out, you know this. I have waited and waited. But I don't want to be anyone's consolation prize - someone to resort to. Does that make sense?
I think I am at the stage now where I just want him to make a decision. He either wants me in his life or he doesn't. I don't think that is asking too much. If he chooses not to be, I can live with that - I have been apart from him so long, so many times that I would be able to cope. It would be like a bereavement - you miss them then you start to get on with your life. If he chose to be around then he would have to change his behaviour. I have never asked him to in the past, but I can't see-saw for the rest of my life. I need commitment or closure.
Next week I am buying my new mobile phone. His number won't be on it. He doesn't deserve to be. I will leave the old one on for a few weeks in case I miss anyone out when I am transferring, but at some point I have to make the decision to let go. If he can't do it then I have to.
For my sanity.lol.
Onnce again last night I cried for two hours in my bed, but I know he isn't worth the tears. I just want this sadness to be over. If he hadn't contacted me at the New Year I would be in a better place right now. There are people who want to spend their time with me, so why am I wasting my time on someone who only has the guts to make contact again when he has had a drink? Yes, I know it is dutch courage, but I am not an ogre, I would answer if he was sober too. I just wish I knew what was happening with this other woman. I don't even know if she is still around. And I am too afraid to ask!!!! because I might not like the answer. I know he has tried to move on in the past, but couldn't because of me, but what if this person is different? He has said that he still loves me, doesn't want to be with anyone else - but he told me at new year that she was nice, he likes her so what do I take from that???
I am so CONFUSED!!!! I am a control freak, and it is killing me not knowing.lol. I NEED TO KNOW!!! NOW!!!!
So, again I wait. I seem to spend most of my life waiting. But nobody knows how long they have on this planet, and I can't wait forever. I have given myself a deadline. For once in my life I am being decisive. I have to be.
I am sorry you are still annoyed with Scorp. I think we let them get away with so much because we love them and maybe we should ask for a bit more without being afraid it will push them away.
Was there any reason why you and he didn't hook up on Friday? Could you not make plans for you both instead of waiting for him to do it? I know it is hard, but I don't think it is deliberate on his part, it is just how they are. They can do things on the spur of the moment, but rarely plan or make plans. My Scorp would promise me we would go here, do this etc, but never did anything about it. It took me actually booking a hotel for an overnight stay from his house in the morning (and telling him to pack a bag we were going - there and then) to get a night away he had spoken about for months!!!!
They like someone else organising them, they are lazy and would rather someone did everything for them.
Take the bull by the horns hunni - life is too short!!!!
As for falling out with his mother - is there any way you two can make up? My Scorp adores his mother, even though she sometimes interferes with his life, but he would hate if we didn't get on, or make an effort to. After all, she was the one who brought him up, organised him and did things for him and looked after him before the baton was handed to you.lol. You have more in common than you think!!!!!!
Sending you another hug.xxxxx
good to see you here too, although I do see you now and again on FB.lol.
I love that you are so cheerful now, able to move on now that that idiot of a man has moved away. I will always believe that it was his loss. I hope that some day he realises it too. Too late!!!
Now you are truly free to go out and have the life that you deserve, to find someone who deserves you. Enjoy.xxxxxxx
Stranger, I just wanted to say that i felt your pain when I read your post about being isolated and how, when in a relationship, one would think that if it is true, then certain feelings, actions and needs would be present.
I have felt with J, my cancer, that sometimes, his actions are not what I think they should be. But I try to see him for who he is, cancer aside. And, well, he does love me, he tells me and he shows me, but it is not in the way that I would show it. So, I have to really pay attention to him and his ways of showing how he cares.
Sometimes though, I do not have the energy or desire to do that, bc I just want to be understood and shown in the ways that I would show love dag gone it !! But, at the end of the day, I am not him and he is not me.
And deep down, I know he is far more insecure than I am. Not that we are super insecure people, but we are human. Who really wants to be vulnerable with the potential of getting hurt? I know I don't. yet, I continue to put my heart out there.
From one control freak to the other……OOOOH YEAH…lol. Yet my friend I have learned it doesn’t work like that. When you are dealing with flighty people the best thing for your sanity is just let it be and see how the cookie crumbles. I am taking my sweet time…and just let things unfold by themselves. Yep, you do make overtime in over thinking stuff yet rush is not your best friend. I know that you want him to come to a decision. How will you let him know that is what you are waiting for? And then after what is your next move? Did you think about that? The phone change is good idea. I had a run in with my ex when my cell was charging up so it was out. Man called on the home number asking me if I changed my number because he can’t reach me. Uhmm excuse me? I said you are talking to me at the moment so I don’t see the problem...LOL. Anyways. Do what is good for you. Scorp and Libra working out...it’s possible...in my case it all depends on the Libra...lol. Honestly I think background, circumstances, common interest and timing all has to do if it works out yes or no. And it’s imperative to actually LISTEN to what is said even if it doesn’t make sense at that very moment. And personally I learned NOT to jump to conclusions. I did that with something and when I got the chance to actually ask about the matter...the answer was something totally and I do mean totally different. So you never know.
I don’t think you’re confused. I think you know this man through and through and you not voicing what you truly want to know...that is... what is bugging you. I would suggest confronting (speaking to him in person) him and you get your go ahead or your closure. This is in your hands. And tell him “I don’t know” isn’t an option because he does know.
Some things in life are worth the wait....yet not everything my darling.
Have a great week. I have a very busy one ahead. Fairs are coming up and got prepping to do for them. You take care and I will peak in when I got time.
thanks for the wisdom and support. I hope your week isn't too busy, and you manage to find some time in there for you.
Scorp will only come around when (and if) he is ready - I have to wait until he wants to see me for the face-to-face. He disappears for weeks on end - back into his little cocoon - and no-one can reach him. He doesn't like confrontation, unless he is the one who starts it.lol. But I can wait.
What is bugging me is that after all these years I don't feel as if I am any further forward. I THINK I know him and then he does something and it throws me off kilter.
I suppose "I don't know" at this stage really means " I know I don't want you" and I am still not sure if I am ready for that.
On a plus note - even though I haven't been out the door since the new year, I have been asked out. TWICE!! by different men. It's like the cosmos is telling me to move on.ha ha
One of the men I haven't seen for nearly a year, and he had given me his number LONG before that. Just popped up as a friend on FB. Weird.
Not going to do anything about the invitations - not ready for anyone else. I need to grieve first for the last 7 years before I can move on. And, if truth be told, If Scorp came back around, despite how badly he has treated me, I couldn't hurt someone else by letting them down for him.
I have made a career out of waiting, a little longer won't hurt (well it probably will - I am tying myself in knots!!!!), but at some point I have to decide I have had enough.
I have plenty to keep me occupied for now - weekends were always the worst (too much thinking time on my hands!), I have work, daughter is unwell and grandmother still in hospital so I have more than enough to keep me busy, and def NOT thinking about him!!!
Yikes--this very week last year, I had to figure out how to deal with the female friend who still has a 'really really close' relationship with my fiance. My biggest concern is that he is allowing her to give him "love advice" in his relationship with me. The last time I sent a friendly e-card to her over the holidays, she didn't respond at all. All I heard was "Say Hello to (me)" on her latest contact with my fiance. I still recall how she tried to slander me online and how my fiance capitulated to her demands to see things her way about me. She has her moon in Scorpio as well as Venus in Cancer, with her sun in Gemini. What to make of this combo?
you are right on the money honey! are scorps sound so similar. yes hopeless at making plans.i made a joke with him recently that i had rope in the car( i actually do) and i would tie him up and kidnap him. i said this to him years ago too and he loved it.yes they are lazy and they love it when other people do all the arranging. i dont mind sometimes but you are prob like me -,gotta be a balance! equal give an take. i am communicating again with scorp. we had it out a couple of days ago when he came around. he is so passionate. at one point i recall as i was crying ranting and showing him my feelings i caught him looking at my mouth with incredible desire.
we had a nice day yesterday. but our underlying issues havent been resolved yet.
and yes i must say sorry to his mum. hehe you made me laugh.
hope you are doing ok. new phone sounds good. i thought of doing that at one stage.
hugs back to you xx
hello, thanks for what you wrote .. it did resonate with me. and yes something for me to think about. i know i need to notice little things more and the actions that he does do. ( like when he made me the table). we have issues around holidays. we are different in many ways. it sounds like you and your partner are going well and it does take courage to keep putting your heart out there.you have a kind heart.
katie charlieee, how are you going? i apologize if i am not as responsive as before. i dont know if i will be as active as last time on forum.i really need to see this as a new year and new changes.moving forward..i guess we all do. i am seeing how things are evolving. and they are.always. apart from bogans they dont evolve.nup. hope you are having a nice time with good friends and enjoying yourself.i am still in same house, cat is snuggled on bed.i know i want to chase my dreams before it is too late x
glad things are looking up for you. I didn't think you and your Scorp would be apart for long.lol.
Seems like he can't stay away!!! It doesn't matter that you can't always agree on everything - life would be really boring if that was the case!! As long as you both agree that you want to be together you can always work on the details later. Soon he will be like your cat, curled up on your bed every night for you to snuggle into.lol. Chase your dreams. You go girl!!!!
I was really upset on Monday night, got myself into a bit of a state about this mess I am in. On Tuesday morning out of the blue, Scorp texted me about something to do with my work. He has been in constant contact over the past few days, telling me how he was in between jobs and hated the temporary job he was doing, so I have been helping him find another, which he did today!!! He said it was down to the CV I made for him (before we split.) We haven't mentioned anything about "US" but he has asked after my grandmother, and I have been keeping it friendly. Now that he has a job he has no further need to contact me, so I am "watching this space" lol. I feel so much calmer now we have contact, but I'm not sure how long this will last.
In meantime, FB guy is being VERY persistent about meeting for coffee - and I am being VERY evasive in return.lol.
I have plenty of social outings planned over the next few weeks so I won't be sitting around pining for Scorp.
Going to look for new phone at the weekend. I have been studying form, but typical Libran that I am, I can't decide which one to buy!!! I am hoping that fate decides for me - that one of my choices won't be available in the shop so I will buy the other one - the winner by default!!!
I have, however,decided that MY new year will start next week along with the Chinese New Year on February 3rd. It is the year of the Rabbit, and i just happen to be a Rabbit. The other one didn't start so well, so I am hoping that this will be a better start.lol.I am quietly optimistic.
Onwards and upwards!!! What is meant for me won't go by me, so bring it on 2011!!!
Stranger - I think you hit the nail dead on. it is not that any of us do not care to be active and post, but that we are really digging deep into our lives. I know I am. I am doing my best to go with my instinct and need. I get scared. I do. The thought of being hurt absolutely terrifies me!!n Yet, I do not want to miss out bc of my fear.
Yes, J and I are doing well. 13 months now. With only 2 conflicts. Which blows me away. yet, as we get closer and closer, I seem to be the one retreating. I step out, then I step in....when he steps in, I step out, which makes him retreat, but it is only momentarily. Really. lol
I have absolutely no clue where our future lies and I honestly think I am ok with that. I have to focus on the here and now. He most definitely has to focus on the here and now.
At times, I feel he has been the only true one in my life. like he has always been there. Yet he hasn't. And sometimes, I feel like he is looking at me like, is she really for real? I say, yes I am.....lol
I don't know. I don't. One day at a time.........:)
Hey all! I have been thinking about all of you, I hope you're all doing well. I am too far gone to catch up so I will see if you can all give me quick updates in yourselves if you like.
Me? Nothing new. Same old, same old...lol...
its been so hot here. i ended up going away fro a litl trip camping. was nice to get away.
scorp came. i paid for everything.was good we got along really well.but now i have mixed feelings.i keep living in a kind of hope.is hope just fear?
lolpet, ha the indecisiveness i know so so well- being half libran and a cusper..its a nightmare sometimes.did you get ur new phone yet? when i look after scorp he is very kind back. in a non monetory way.which is fine he does nice things but deep down i worry. the trip was good we laughed alot. but then when we got back he got a text from his friend who he keeps apart from me and he told me nothing then got very defensive and angry when i asked him about it.his mood changed after that text. totally shut down to ice. we had a fight. i dont like his temper. it scares me.he left the house as he always does.so it kind of killed the good feelings of the weekend that we had shared. its like when he is with me he is only with me he doesnt take calls from his friends or see them.its just me and him and its exclusive and intense. then he will hear from his mate and he will emotionally pull away. and then physically. idont mind him having friends , that is ok but he hides it from me which i dont like. and from the way he talks of this guy i question why he is even friends with him. i dont like it. he bags him then he defends him. the guy according to him is a player and cheats on his wife and is a compulsive liar. the whole things makes me feel a bit sick. makes me suspicious of him.he says i dont trust him and i say it is hard to trust him when h hides stuff.we go from being utterly great to being so bad.such a seesaw. i dont know if he will ever grow up. i cant keep waiting. like you the wait is horrible. it is so soul destroying. sometimes i wonder if it is just fear that keeps me here.the good thing in all of this though lolpet is that i know somewhere deep inside me i am getting stronger. i am not letting him get to me so much. either that or i am paralysed. thinking about counselling again.but i doubt he will go. i have to think positive and keep being grateful for my life and how lucky i am to live near a beautiful beach to have a lovely garden and home ,to have my health.one day i know things will be better. each day i am getting stronger. i know you will be ok too.
wow you know you really sound like you have a beautiful r.ship. being in the moment is so important- it used to be my mantra here- i say used to be cos obviously i have slipped up a bit. but i want to be there again.i have a history of conflict with this man so it is hard to forget sometimes. to know that you have found something beautiful and harmonious inspires me.and the stepping in and out.. as long as there is openness and communication then trust can build and things will be ok. and it sounds like you feel that. fear can be an overwhelming emotion.it can stop us from doing just about everything.i have great respect for people who overcome their own fears and take emotional risks.. great respect. and you are right we are( well i know i am) digging deep into ourselves to find truths.it is often scary and painful but i see no other way.
moonbeauty...hello! how are you travelling these days? i wont repost much on me- but you can get an idea from above posts. so i am ok. still doing my art - slowly starting to make more sales.and my house almost finished- getting shed up soon i hope.been loving summer and the beach.love life very up and down still. no surprises there.how bout you? my gf has been in new york drawing chrissie amphlett i am sooo envious, i would have loved to have been there. one day!
Moon !! I miss you !!
Stranger - Wow ! How beautiful you are !! Truly. I am just trying to find my way.
Adventure, How have you been??? I've been out of work for about a month now, I've developed something called Crohnes disease. It's a disgusting digestive disease. It seems a lot of us (my co-workers) are coming down with it. Sucks.
I've read your posts and what can I say? Scorp males-- welcome to the land of "There Are No Rules" oh, did I mention they rule their land? We just live in it.
I'm glad your house is coming together and your art is selling. That's a great plus to start off the New Year!
I'm going to start writing again soon. I'm finally starting to feel better.
Hey Tarus, how have you been? And I've read a bit what you wrote, good idea, relax & ride the wave.