ASCLAC part 4
HI all Happy Thanksgiving! I hope your day is fun and happy--- I, will be working ..lol..
SV, hunni, I am sooooo sorry. I'll keep an eye out for you here if you wanna vent. If not you can fake FB me.
It's Thanksgiving Day...thankful for friends on this forum, and being able to get through this year in one piece!!
hey everyone...looks like this thread has become very dry lately...we need to water it and make it grow again!
I know that I'm at fault also, it's just been a little crazy for me lately.
Update on me - Gem and I spoke and worked things out. it was just a huge miscommunication. he thought I just wanted to be friends and I thought he was just wanting to be friends. he spent the entire weekend with me and we reconnected. it was wonderful. i think I'm going to his poetry slam this Friday so hopefully it'll go well for him.
how is everyone else doing?
Congrats, ScorpVirgo!! Sounds like a real breakthrough to me...a guy making himself vulnerable that way is encouraging for intimacy...glad you had that kind of quality time with him; have fun at the slam!!!
I had to get a pair of pajamas when I camped out with my guy over Thanksgiving week...Pink Panther ones!! He cracked up when I hummed the theme tune in the sleeping bag <lol>, so you can imagine what fun we had. He opened up more with me, too--told me until he met me he thought that the 'safest' relationship he could have was with himself...and that I was the one who showed him that his heart wasn't dead. I made him an artpiece showing us greeting the sun, and he was awed by that gesture because the picture included a 'sentient being' from nature he hadn't even told me about before...really sweet time overall.</lol>
SV - How WONDERFUL !! I am so happy for you !
Everything is ok here...I think !! lol This is one thing I have learned about crabs......the intensity of their emotional rollercaoster, is more than I could imagine !! lol
Since J & I have realized we are in love.....the man is driving me crazy !! lol But in a good way. I have never had someone so "focused" and zoned in to my emotions !! It is like having an emotional shadow !! lol And, to be honest, not sure what i think about that.
I am so laid back( unless there is a serious retrograde going on) that I am not sure the man has any clue as to what to do ! If we were playing a game of chess( that's my analogy at the moment) if I had the 1st move, he would make the exact same move !!
We had a dinner date. I may have broke my thumb at work today...anyway, he touched it, I winced out loud in pain..the look on his face was as if he had cut it off !!
So, on my drive home, I decided I need to tell him, that I am a big girl. It was an accident. Those things happen. And, get your own feelings !! Just kidding, I won't tell him like that. But, it is discussion time.
Oh Taurus please be gentle with your crab. We are master empathizers, it's sweet that he wants to be in sync with you.
Give it more time, he will develop his own emotions over time, right now he's learning you.
Kel - lol I was very gentle with him. I was. It is sweet. I know that. And I know he does it only bc he truly loves me. But sometimes I NEED to gain strength from his emotions. I told him sometimes....I NEED your good vibes cause my vibes are outta whack !! He LOL at me........and smiled huge !!
But Kel - exactly how long does that take ? We are like 20 days away from 1 year......ya !! He was in a I don't wanna talk mood this Am..but by 4pm he was chatty cathy...cause he thinks I'm funny.....and I am..but sometimes he thinks I'm funny when I am really not trying to be funny....lol
And really, I make his lunch every day...6 days a week.....his FAVORITES !! He knows I love him. He is spoiled bad. I said that to say....I know that is why he is ok with me being me...I am a Bull after all......I think it scares him that I make him feel so good, even when his "mood" is not dictating good. Does that make sense ?
I KNOW there have been times when he wanted to be mad at me, but he just couldn't. Cause I would give him a look that just melted his heart. Not on purpose...just showing my emotions......I texted him yst a simple..I love you...(his full name) just wanted to say it.... it made him happy. For some reason, he likes it when I say his name ?? Why is that ?
Everyone loves when you use their name in conversation, it makes them feel special Taurus7 I've read books on interpersonal communication and using a person's name in conversation creates rapport quickly because it makes them seem important to you. hehe
So let me get this straight, when you're in a crappy mood, you want him to pull you out of it? Or do you prefer to be consoled? I'm guessing it's more the former?
Well let me ask you, do you hide your emotions? Like when you are out of whack, do you show it? Do you hide away?
If I had to guess...you aren't giving him the opportunity to pull you otu of a sour mood. Remember too that crabs need face time. So if you expect him to pull you out of a sour mood via text or email, that ain't happenin girl! lol But if you allow him to see you, I'm sure he'll act as you want him to
If you do want to mention anything to him, I would do it in passing; just say hey crab, when i'm in a bad mood, I look to you to snap me out of it. then change the subject lol he'll remember what you said, trust me.
he's showing you vulnerability right now, so you have to choose your words carefully. we do love to work for love so we don't mind working hard for you but it's all in your wording
Hi, Kel--Happy December!!
Kel - thank you. Ya, sometimes I need help. I am not afraid to admit that. And I am very good at hiding my emotions, but I try not to anymore. Things are really going well. We are getting along even better than we did before. Our playfullness and teasing is strong. But here's a new thing. And I find this somewhat embarassing, but, I really want insight. And, I know what you mean about face to face time. I think it still surprises him that I can lift him out of one of his moods very quickly.
I do not think this is specifically a crab thing, but lately, about the last month, after I told him I loved him. Which, not sure if that is relevant, but I am thinking it is. When we are having S*X he shall we say...releases way sooner than what he wants too. And, it is upsetting him. It does not bother me. I just enjoy that he is happy. I have not complained about it. But is there anything I can do to help him ? I know, you would think a 42yo woman would be a little more knowledgeable....but I'm not.
hi everyone, I'm still alive. I had the flu for awhile..
I am going through a stage where I am just really fed up with men again..last time I went through this I gave up and didn't date for 11 years....all the guys I met online and went out with or chatted with turned out to be jerks..or disappeared...they must have left the island or hiding in a cave, this place is so small..I found out the scorp I was chatting with for 2 months was marrried....I meet a guy in person a couple weeks ago, he was a marine biologist visiting from Hawaii, said he came here quite often. I have a background in marine biology and I even worked with a legendary famous marine biologist from Hawaii and he was shocked I knew him, etc I thought we hit it off, but instead of asking me for my number or asking me out, the jerk asks me to go up to his room!! Probably also married and wants a fling!! When i was younger I had a problem with 99% of the men I meet only interested in se*X with me but I thought at this age i wouldn't have this problem any more...
I give up...
As for crab he's not sending me a ton of crabmail like he used to but he asked me if I would go meet him again, in his crab like sideways way of course. ..I give up on him too, because it's forever limbo with him, as Moon saids...I was hoping to meet another guy I would at least like enough to go out with regularly so it would be easier to let go of crab or get my mind off of him but I'm not meeting anyone worth my time..
Hope everyone is doing ok. I haven't checked FB in a long time..
Lua - I have missed you. I am sorry about the guy woes. Do you think it could be bc you do live on a small island ? I mean, men may think that you would not be interested in changing your life for them. And obviously, men do not change very well. many of them think the woman always has to give in. Make the sacrifice etc.
Hey LUA! im really glad you are back, good to hear about you! sorry about all the a-hole guys, but i say you shouldnt give up.
i had several crappy things happening around me too (yes, Crab involved in them greatly too), but i decided im trying to not let anyone/anything bring me down for long.
after long consideration, i also registered to a dating site... i did it only today and i'm gonna see what it brings for me.
hey everyone else! SV glad for you and Gem! Miss you all guys.
ps. since Flow is not around to remind us, i just remembered it today astrologyzone has the december horoscopes up!
HUGS people! :DDD
I hope that venture works out for the best!! Astrologyzone was eerily accurate in predicting my own situation at the beginning of the year; ditto Astrolis. You might check the latter out--helped me keep things in perspective as well as know what my guy's (and others') hourly moods were in dealing with them.
Katie - Good for you !! Don't let cancer guy bring you down. have fun with the dating site !
Hi guys! Know I haven't posted on here in a while but I've been posting on another thread about my Taurus guy. Taurus7 knows all about it! LOL But just wanted to update on what happened last night.
I was at Taurus's and I heard my phone go off but didn't bother to go look at it. So later when I picked it up, I had received a text from Mr. Cancer from this past summer (I'm sure you all remember! LOL)! I haven't heard from him since the middle of July and we live in the same complex, like literally across the parking lot but I never really see him. And I haven't seen him out on the town either. So here's the text "We were on our way back from dinner and my Mom pointed out how nice someone had decorated their porch. Just wanted to let you know it does indeed look very Festive. You did a nice job. Hope you are doing well.." I literally dropped the phone out of shock! LOL So I waited til after I left Mr. Taurus before I replied because we know how Mr. Jealousy is! LOL I said "Thank you. I"m doing well. Hope you and the kids are well too.." He replied immediately "Yes the kids are...well they're teens. What teen is not trying to have a good time. Exwife has been a little bit unfun lately but...hey we can't be smiling all the time. I have been brushing up the resume..." I said "Life for you as usual! LOL thinkgs that bad at work?" He said "No, things are hectic at work..but not unmanageable. I am acutally interviewing to manage a different office. Not sure if that will be a curse or an opportunity. What the hell...we shall see. Down to final three candidates." I said "That's great! Hope it works out for the best!" He said "If it happens..it happens..if so the office is just a few miles down the street. The boxes would not even have time get cold. Brrr. unlike me trying to run these days. Sleep well..." I said "Yea, it's a tad cold! Good luck and sleep well."
So what's up with that???? I haven't heard from him in 4 months and BAM!!! When we were seeing each other, it would take him like 2 days to reply to my texts! LMAO!! Now all of a sudden he's texting me at 11 at night?!?!?! Was he testing to see if I would respond?? To see if I may still be interested???
Crazy busy talk soon
Yesterday seemed like a breakthrough...he wanted to introduce me to the bellringer who was standing outside the store he works at; last week he told me about two bellringers by another store I use the computers at where he'd shared cigarette ends on a break. He introduced me right away as his Sweetheart and I asked her if she got bored standing out there all day! She looked kind of disgruntled, but told me she just chatted with people to pass the time on her job.
He kissed and held me close in front of her after that. Before we did that, he offered to show me a 'racy' video of a performer who played the violin with an old friend of his who played the violin himself in public and danced...he had told me excitedly he might come to the Bay Area before I headed out to visit him. I took the shared video as a sign he simply wanted to be more open with me about things like that. So far, so good...
p.s. the bellringer asked him if he'd gone to a veggie event and he told her he didn't have the time for that--but being a 'meat and potatoes' guy, not highly likely <lol>!!! Gave me insight about how it can also be hard for him to be socially upfront in general.</lol>