Finding Happiness and Peace Within



  • Real permanent happiness can only come from the inside. If you rely on material world outcomes and other people to make you happy, your state of happiness will come and go according to who and what is in your life. Wouldn't you rather be happy all the time, rather than depending on outside circumstances to be perfect (which they never will be)? Are you waiting to be loved...rich...thin...beautiful...successful...or whatever to be happy? Why wait? Begin now.

    Step One: To create a solid core of permanent happiness inside yourself, first you need to admit that you alone are responsible for making yourself happy or unhappy. Be brutally, totally honest here. Own your feelings and stop handing the reins of your life over to others. Your family and friends, your boss or co-workers, and certainly not your partner or potential mates - none of thses are responsible for making you happy. We are each only responsible for ourselves. Of course, what happened to you as a child cannot be helped but, as you grew older, you were able to make your own choices - some were good choices, and some were bad choices that led you into hurtful relationships or situations. True, other people may not have always treated you well but you could have walked away at any time or gotten help. And often in the process you ignored your gut feelings that were screaming at you that this situation or person was all wrong for you. The reward for accepting responsibility for your life is that, if you can recognise you have the power to get yourself into trouble, then it follows that you also have the power to get yourself out of it - and stay out. With responsibility comes the taking back of control of your destiny into your own hands.

    Step two: you must feel happy with who and what you are, you need to be an individual. This involves becoming your authentic self, that person who stands on their own two feet because they have inner power and strength, a person who doesn't wear a mask and is able to trust enough to openly share who they are without fear of rejection or disapproval, someone who has developed their own beliefs and lifestyle that is not 'borrowed' from anyone else or from tradition. You must lose all the garbage and false ideas that you have accumulated since you were a baby. All you need to keep is what genuinely works for you.

    Step three: Like yourself. Feel good about your strengths and abilities. What do you do or produce that you feel good about? Are you athletic? Are you a good artist or musician? A good listener? Compassionate? Helpful? Good at gardening, home repairs, or cleaning? Think of the activities you enjoy doing the most, by yourself. Think of all you have done for others and what they have done for you. Appreciate and give thanks for all that you have. Don't dwell on your weaknesses or what you don't have - the positives far outweigh the negatives. And you can always work on your weaknesses with a positive attitude. Use this list of your strengths to raise your sense of accomplishment. Happiness is intimately tied to self-image and self-esteem. You are a lot better and stronger than you think.

    Step four: Make your life interesting. Look after yourself for a change and let others manage without you for a while. Keep learning. Try to do something new every day, even if it's just a small thing like completing a crossword or making a tea cosy. Stay busy and keep your mind and body active. Do some exercise and look after your health - maybe tai chi or yoga or go for a walk. Get a pet. Make life worth getting out of bed for - go out and meet others with similar interests, take a class or club, get back to nature, have fun, treat yourself. Build a history of success - even if only in small steps. No matter what your age or situation, there is always something interesting to be learned and done if you are on the lookout for it. Even if you just sit in the sun and feel grateful for the warmth on your face, the breath in your body, and the smell of the flowers all around. Whatever you do, enjoy!

    Step five: Breath deeply. It only takes ten deep breaths to change your mood. Spend time meditating and contemplating in solitude. Be in nature and with animals. Find peace in the silence. Look deeply into yourself to find wisdom. The more you know yourself, the more answers to life you will discover. Also, look outside yourself and put yourself in other people's shoes. Ask them what they are feeling and experiencing and how they are. Listen. Your problems will seem trivial compared to others' suffering and situations.

    And lastly, remember that happiness is the journey, not an end result or a destination.

    When you have built up your inner core of happiness, you can go wherever you want, do what you want to do, and no one or nothing will be able to drag you down. You don't have to be constantly braced for a blow, ready to run or fight. You can relax and just be. Like freedom, happiness is simply a state of mind.



  • This is a great reminder. So often we base our happiness on outcomes. If only I could get this job then I'll be happy ... or if only I meet the perfect man/woman for me then I'll be happy etc. I've found that when I actually get what I think will make me happy, it's almost a letdown. I've put so much effort into focusing on what I want that the end goal couldn't possibly live up to the expectation I placed upon it. Great message Captain. Perfect timing for me. I really needed to read this.



  • Captain; I do like what you have said here on this thread

    "Step two: you must feel happy with who and what you are, you need to be an individual. This involves becoming your authentic self, that person who stands on their own two feet because they have inner power and strength, a person who doesn't wear a mask and is able to trust enough to openly share who they are without fear of rejection or disapproval, someone who has developed their own beliefs and lifestyle that is not 'borrowed' from anyone else or from tradition. You must lose all the garbage and false ideas that you have accumulated since you were a baby. All you need to keep is what genuinely works for you. "

    That is very true. You must always be yourself, your true self and never a copy or a fake.

    This is a wonderful thread. Thank you so much for posting this. I am sure you have changed peoples lives because of this. Bless you Captain



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  • You're all very welcome! I hope it works for you.



  • Captain, I love your very thoughtful and uplifting posts.



  • Also when you are happy inside, you won't need to read horoscopes or get psychic readings or whatever about what your future will bring, because no matter what comes, you will be able to maintain your happiness.



  • Thank you, Captain, for this post! It's a wonderful reminder for us all. And I completely agree - when you're happy, not desperate, you don't read horoscopes or ask psychic predictions. So true because deep down inside you feel that you're fine 🙂

    I'm on my way to my internal happy place (not without setbacks and hiccups though) - it's not easy but I want to get there 🙂 hence my screen name 🙂

    Lots of love your way, Captain! Thank you for everything you're doing for us here!



  • Tips for Happiness in Daily Life — by Remez Sasson

    Daily life can be made happier. It is a matter of choice. It is our attitude that makes us feel happy or unhappy. It is true, we meet all kinds of situations during the day, and some of them may not be conductive to happiness. We can choose to keep thinking about the unhappy events, and we can choose to refuse to think about them, and instead, relish the happy moments. All of us constantly go through various situations and circumstances, but we do not have to let them influence our reactions and feelings.

    If we let outer events influence our moods, we become their slaves. We lose our freedom. We let our happiness be determined by outer forces. On the other hand, we can free ourselves from outer influences. We can choose to be happy, and we can do a lot to add happiness to our lives.

    What is happiness? It is a feeling of inner peace and satisfaction. It is usually experienced when there are no worries, fears or obsessing thoughts, and this usually happens, when we do something we love to do or when we get, win, gain or achieve something that we value. It seems to be the outcome of positive events, but it actually comes from the inside, triggered by outer events.

    For most people happiness seems fleeting, because they let changing outer circumstances affect it. One of the best ways to keep it, is by gaining inner peace through daily meditation. As the mind becomes more peaceful, it becomes easier to choose the happiness habit.

    Here are a few tips for increasing happiness in daily life:

    1. Endeavor to change the way you look at things. Always look at the bright side. The mind may drag you to think about negativity and difficulties. Don’t let it. Look at the good and positive side of every situation.

    2. Think of solutions, not problems.

    3. Listen to relaxing, uplifting music.

    4. Watch funny comedies that make you laugh.

    5. Each day, devote some time to reading a few pages of an inspiring book or article.

    6. Watch your thoughts. Whenever you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts, start thinking of pleasant things.

    7. Always look at what you have done and not at what you haven’t.

    Sometimes you may begin the day with the desire to accomplish several objectives. At the end of the day you might feel frustrated and unhappy, because you haven’t been able to do all of those things.

    Look at what you have done, not at what you have not been able to do. You may have accomplished a lot during the day, and yet you let yourself become frustrated, because of some small things that you did not accomplish. You have spent all day successfully carrying out many plans, and instead of feeling happy and satisfied, you look at what was not accomplished and feel unhappy. It is unfair toward yourself.

    1. Each day do something good for yourself. It can be something small, such buying a book, eating something you love, watching you favorite program on TV, going to a movie, or just having a stroll on the beach.

    2. Each day do at least one act to make others happy. This can be a kind word, helping your colleagues, stopping your car at the crossroad to let people cross, giving your seat in a bus to someone else, or giving a small present to someone you love. The possibilities are infinite. When you make someone happy, you become happy, and then people try to make you happy.

    3. Always expect happiness.

    4. Do not envy people who are happy. On the contrary, be happy for their happiness.

    5. Associate with happy people, and try to learn from them to be happy. Remember, happiness is contagious.

    6. Do your best to stay detached, when things do not proceed as intended and desired. Detachment will help you stay calm and control your moods and reactions. Detachment is not indifference. It is the acceptance of the good and the bad and staying balanced. Detachment has much to do with inner peace, and inner peace is conductive to happiness.

    7. Smile more often.