How do you deal with liars?



  • I have a situation, first my ex being a liar about pretty much everything, second, his gf being a liar about pretty much everything. Even herself for that matter, everything I've heard from her my ex says the opposite (though he did go along with it for a while)

    How do you go about dealing with this?

    There are many things in which I've heard, all things contradicting each other I was told they were getting married so I congratulated them both, then my ex says all of it was a lie and he does not plan on getting married to anyone anytime soon. Then his gf, who has made my life a living heck, she lied about a crap load of things too. Apparently just to mess with me (wicked people - no exaggeration here) then my ex turns around and we have a conversation about "us" and that through everything we actually do love each other very much. Just no more romantic feelings there.

    Then, my ex comes over and starts being friendly (which he has not done in a very long time, came and chatted with me and my family like we were still a couple, then.. he turns around and asks me for a favor but since I don't believe a word he says anymore I declined the favor.

    How does someone deal with this constant immoral, hurtful, mean and vindictive behavior? Let it roll of your back or what? On top of that, I am treated like the bad guy because I am sick of their childish behavior because they cant seem to get a life! They have too make mine as miserable as possible! So I lash back at them both with the cold hard truth.

    What would you do if you were in my situation?

    (ps. My ex and I have a child between us to which he in my eyes does not deserve)



  • Hi Aries me again ::)

    May you find the answers that you are seeking Aries,I know you will..

    sheila



  • I would like to submit my reply here!

    First off we didn't tell you anything about us getting married. Sure we talk about it but its not going to be tomorrow, or even next month for that matter. So when you texted me and said congrats and expected some kind of reply. I just said thanks, I try to avoid making you mad if you're acting nice, so I just went with the flow. As far as you're life being a living heck. You made it what it is, not her. You're issues are with me not her! When you're seeing someone and things are good and you are friendly. Things go bad and you're right back on us about something. I can't believe you acually sit around hoping to see me fail in life and have things go bad for me. You should find a more constuctive outlet, like using this opportunity in life to make a new start and find happiness. Move forward in life stop dwelling on the past, whats done is done. I don't sit around hoping for anything bad for you. I personally wish for you to find happiness, admittedly for selfish reasons at this point. (In hopes to finally have peace and sanity) The two of us have way more interaction then need be. The only things we should be contacting each other about are things that concern our child, not how much you hate my gf. You're opinion has been noted, thanks! Our relationship needs to be more that of "strickly professional" so to speak. Speaking of relationships and things of that nature. At no point in any recent conversations have I said anything about having any kind of love for you, romantic or otherwise. Also the chatting with you and you're fam was nothing like us being a couple in any way. I foolishly thought that we were on semi ok terms with each other and with what had happened I was trying to be nice and show some support for you guys. Sorry if I was misleading somehow. On that subject, anything to do with our child is truth. You ask me something I will answer, maybe not right away. I do have things like work or sleep that may keep me from getting back to you right away. So please be patient when texting don't start blowing up becuase I don't live attached to my phone. As far as asking about things that are really not any of your business, you can either take no comment for an answer or I can make up something for you. Also don't worry about me asking you for any kind of favors because I know it will be the same answer I have always got from you.

    I would like to also note that shatz has made a good point as well. I have seen the results of what our child deals with, one incedent was quite disturbing and I really hope it was not something that was picked up from you. Also the incedent with being kicked off the bus for calling the driver fat, all you. You spent all that time calling my gf a fat b**** in front of our child, and that really paid off for us huh? All of your ranting and talking about how much you hate my gf in front of our child is not good. You can't force our child to hate someone because you hate them. No one that I bring around our child speaks badly of you around our child ever! So why do you think it is appropriate to speak badly of my gf in front of our child? She has not done anything bad to our child ever! In fact things are quite the opposite. We all go places together and try to enjoy life and teach the kids that there is more to life then tv and internet or video games. Not to mention she buys clothes and other stuff for our child. I am so happy to have met someone that accepts our child as part of the fam, and no she is not trying to replace you, you're the mother and nothing will change that. I hope that you can find someone that makes you happy and treats our child as well as my gf does. I think maybe first you need to find happiness in yourself. Only then can you truely appreciate the happiness that the right person can bring to your life. Thats what I had to do, and i'd recommend it to anyone, besides what have you got to lose? At the very least you'll be happier! It is truely time to let it all go, and move on, unless you like being miserable. I know that I would be able to enjoy some of the new things and people I have in my life a lot more without your constant attempts to break up my gf and I. I don't get it. What happened? You were so happy to be free when we split up. Now all you wanna do is find reasons to get mad at me so you can send me an endless stream of texts. If its been more then 3 days without some kind of message (good, bad, or otherwise) I start to wonder, but then you come through with something. You never let me down! You know? Had you put this much effort into our marriage, who knows what might have happened.



  • Holly Bammmm, what did i get myself into...

    I'm sorry but you two really have to pull together for the sake of your child...Life is to short ...

    I hope that you both find some peace with each other one day...

    I was taught an important lesson, "there are three truths, his/hers and the truth..."

    Time, does not sit still for any of us.

    So instead of putting this out here for the world to see, use that energy and focus on the love you both have for your child...

    PEACE,LIGHTAND LOVE "MAY YOU BOTH FIND THIS".

    Sheila



  • I also get the feeling that you both have some unresolved feelings for each other, (maybe counseling will help..)

    Just my opinion

    Sheila



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  • Hello,

    This is a reminder to follow the rules of the Forum.

    "No flaming of other members to incite or perpetuate a conflict or argument. ANY personal attacks or name calling will get you banned."

    Thanks,

    Admin

    forums@tarot.com



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  • Yep this time Admin, me thinks this one should be removed....I

    ts very sad that a couple needs to come on a public form....Just step back, You might regret these words one day...I'm sorry for the pain you both are in...But like I said think about your child...Please..

    Thanks Admin.....

    sheila



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  • Aries, I know you have been on the forms for awhile, and yep I know he just signed on...Don't give up your power....

    Everything will turn out for the better, if you allow yourself to let go...

    Hugs,Peace. light and love

    sheila

    Take care



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  • My Heart and soul is with you AriesPiscesCusp..... I just SO needed to say this!! I'm not quite sure what is happening? but I had this sudden urge to say "I just know you need some "justice" to be done!"....it will come my friend!!....but it will come from you finding your peace of mind!!....I know how hard that can be!!....but I have faith you can achieve it....

    Much LOVE and PEACE to you and your little boy x....



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  • Wow! That really got some attention!

    I would like to first start by apologizing to the members of this site and the people who run it.

    Well I could probly write a book at this point based on my experience over the last couple years dealing with this. I would just like people to see there is much more then just a one sided story here. I want to also thank shatz for your thought on things, I think you give some very good advice. I feel bad its had to come to something like this. I figured maybe some input from others could help. Things are no better between us now then it was the day she discovered I had a gf. Funny thing is we were split up and living apart for almost a year. Things were fine when I was single, I could see my child whenever pretty much. Things were somewhat ok between us. We didn't really talk a lot but when we did it wasn't usually bad. Anyway the day she found out about my gf, she called my phone and left a rather nasty message. Since then its been bad. This was a year and a half ago, since then its been emails and phone messages, texts...We are finally divorced now as well, not only have things not improved its gotten worse. I was planning to post the messages that she sent to my phone tonite, but out of respect for the members here I will not post it. I will say that it was not nice lol. Lots of naughty words in it too. Pretty much the two main things she was saying was to leave my gf, and that if I wanted her to leave me alone then I need to just leave my childs life. Thats sad that she would rather our child grow up without his father in his life all because she can't deal with her feelings about me. She was the one who said to me that she found someone else and so I moved out and then on. I do not have any feelings of love for her. I had to let go a long time ago. There was still some feelings for a while, but after all the bad that has played out. I just don't have it anymore. She did tell me that she still has some sort of love for me and no where in the conversation did I say I love you. Nor did I agree to anything relating to love. There are many things i'd like to reply to thats been said on this forum but that would take way too long plus i'm sure no one wants to read all that anyway. I guess my main reason for being here is the hope that somehow she will find a way to realize that our time is done we are divorced. I'm not required to share every detail of my personal life with her, or jump everytime she yells. Life is to short for all this drama.

    Thanks everyone!