Firefly01, can you help me with your insight pls?



  • Hi Firefly,

    I read your responses to other people's questions and I would like your respnse in regards to my situation, if its ok?

    I need some advice as to what I should do, or what is on the horizon for me... I have been waiting for developments with someone who has been giving me mixed signals for very longtime. He has issues and I am trying to help him and guide him as a friend. I offered my help but he doesn't seem to want that, I don't know. There is no communication between us.

    I need to know if I can do something more? I am not willing to wait any longer and put my life on hold... I want to move on with my life but seems like its very hard... I have no interest in anyone else, I also feel like despite all issues he is the one for me... I have difficult time explaining to other people - my friends and family, they want me to move on and find someone else. And I understand them, but because of them not seeing all this the way I do, I can't even talk to them about any of this, This makes me feel very alone and I keep things to myself...

    At this point I need at least to have some sort of communication with him... So my question is what will happen here? Do you see him contacting me soon or do you feel I really should move on?

    My DOB is Jan 4, 1979....

    Hope t hear from you!

    Thanks for your time....

    PM



  • Dear Pluto Moon:

    Men who have "issues" need professional help, not a companion. Feeling needed and wanted is a good feeling, but it is not the same as being in love. Your family sees this and want you to see it for yourself that this is NOT a good thing. You are not a doctor and are not qualified to treat him as if he is your patient.

    In fact, this is a very dangerous type of relationship, one that could cost you your life. Some men are very adept at pretending to be someone they are not. You have no idea what lurks inside of him and the vibrations I get are not good ones. I feel that you are in danger in more ways than one. End this relationship. Listen with your ears and HEAR the warning in them.

    He is not the one who needs you. In some way, he makes you feel needed and it is not healthy to continue this relationship. Men who are mentally disturbed do not always act in crazy ways. Even psychopathic killers can be very charming, but you would not knowingly invite them into your life. Refuse to invite trouble by nipping it in the bud.

    Your time will come for a healthy, happy, normal relationship with a good man of sound moral character. But he's not the one.



  • thank you Firefly....

    I appreciate your time, but I disagree with you...

    When I said he has issues, I did not mean mental issues... he is in fact the type of man you described as being my partner in the future!

    There is no relationship between us at the moment. My family want me to settle down and have kids, they don't even live in the country I am in...

    He has never given me false prominses or anything, when I said mixed signals, it was in his way of behaviour and body language... nothing in words...He has always been proper and freindly yet being a man he can't hide his interest... but there are issues as in he is not free...he has emotional issues, being hurt and not trusting love anymore, those are the issues... the person he is with is the BIG issue here as she is the one who has caused him all hurt and pain...he has a lot of consfusion too because of other issues that I am not going to go into...

    Anyway, I appreciate your help... have a great day!

    cheers,

    PM