Anyone in a HAPPY RELATIONSHIP or MARRIAGE with a Cancer man?
I have been dating a Cancer male for around 4 years. I am seeing both the good and frustrating traits of dating someone who is hot and cold. He has a strong sense of family and strength of character. I think they pull away for many reasons. Some of which are unknown to me and even unrelated. The challenge I have is to not take it personal when the need for space arises as it is typically not communcated well. All signs have both their positive and negative aspects. Being with a cancer has brought great emotional snd spiritual growth and can be quite frustrating. My instinct tells me that my cancer man loves me but is not ready to openly express it in words yet although some of his actions indicate the feelings.
I do wish everyone the best in their relationships with their Cancer mates.
"anyone who says I need space is saying to leave them alone. too much of that is pretty obvious. either they are not that into you, or there is another person involved."
Whilst I thought that to be kind of a ridiculous comment in my opinion, how you perceive something to be when hearing it, does not make it the truth for everyone else, it is only your personal perception.
I'm an Aquarius with Cancer Ascendant and I need lots and lots and lots of space alone to myself, it doesn't mean I'm not into the person I'm with any less than i would be when around them, nor does it mean there is any one else involved. Just sayin. My brother is the same also, and he's a cancer. Theres not very much complications really to understanding a cancerian. The problem isn't quite with them but with you as individuals that cannot understand beyond your own comfort zone. Therefore, don't try to change these people, just move along and move on.
Ethereal, I would think anyone that needs space for a month or so longer is sending a larger message either that they do not want to be with you or that there is something the person needs to work on personally.
I guess "space" itself is a fluid term. Do you mean no contact-literally? Or minimal contact? Depending on how people see that term can determine where everyone is coming from. If the person who needs space hasn't spoken to you in a month, wouldn't it simply be wiser to move on?
I would think so.
In my books, if a man disappears after 2 weeks, that is not a good sign regardless of their reason. I believe communication is key. The guy I was seeing disappeared without a word, to me that is the most disrespectful thing a man or woman can do to somebody.
Yes, one should definately move on ( I say after a month for sure), don't waste time waiting around for them to come back.
Find someone who is worthy of you and your time.
Thats just me...........I am a gentle soul that would never consider doing that to anyone.
@NotsoLeo.. leo & cancer r incompatible. hope that answers ur question...
Piscesstar, I agree with you. I was just trying to figure out from Ethereal what needing space meant to the OP as the complaint was that she and many people she knew needed space and it wasn't necessarily a negative thing in regards to her relationship.
I just found that comment interesting and wanted to know how much space she was talking about. Because like you if a man splits for more than a week, I move on.
watch this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GcIfvcCPE4U
I am an Aries women who just ended a eightbyear relationship with a cancer man. We were great friends but the relationship was a constant struggle. Aries are way to blunt for the sensitive cancer. With cancers they are really fussy and itvseems like whatever I did it was never enoughbto makevthem happy and when they were mad they will crawl back into their shell. I would constantly have to be careful on how I said things so not to hurt his feelings. They can dish it but not take it! But when they go into their shell give them their space. I became a master at tuning him out or just letting him be. Give him a few minutes and he will come back around. But do not badger them with questions asking what's wrong, they get even more irritated. I say being with a cancer takes a lot of patience and understanding. They are great listeners and think they know everything. I just wish you the best of luck causevyou will need it!
MsFirstLadyAries, after working on it for 8 years, what was the final straw? Were you just too tired to go on?
Sorry - off topic here - To MariaRia, look for a thread I started for you under the Tarot forum heading. Hope this finds you doing well!!
Bravo Candiss! You hit the nail on the head. I've been married to a Cancer man for 25 + yrs and it really has been an emotional rollercoaster. I'm at the end of my rope with the marriage now. I waited to get my child raised and out on his own before I decided to rock the boat of the family (so to speak). I can not take the self-absorbed bull any longer. I don't exist as far as opinions, thoughts, knowledge, I mean nothing. It's all about HIM. I get sick at my stomach every time I have to sit and listen to his stories about him and his day, etc. I'm at the end of his list. Everyone else is put before me. I've been a great wife - gone beyond the call of duty in all respects, and still no appreciation. He has really done me in emotionally. Thank God, I am smart enough to hold my emotions inside, protected from him, otherwise I would be in a padded room somewhere. Like someone else said in their reply "RUN". This is the thing to do. I will never think of dating another Cancer man, ever. Yes, I am a Leo.
I have had an on and off relationship with a cancer man for almost 5 yrs. I have learned to not take everything so personal. I am a Pisces and we take EVERYTHING personal...but with him I have learned not to...it is hard and some of things he does hurts but I love him and that means if he has a need for space. I respect that. He is my moody Cancer and I am his overly emotional Pisces....
@ JewelLeo...wow. I was married to an Aries man for 12 yrs. One of the things I had to ask myself are we truly compatible...being water and fire. He essentially evaporated me...we have a child together and I love him dearly but I couldn't stay married to him anymore. It is really hard to be compatible when ur incompatible. I wish the best for you JewelLeo....
@NeptunesDaughter: Thank you for the heartfelt sympathy. I was very young (22) when we married. I thought I was being the good wife, mother, etc. I soon found out that my kindness was mistaken by him as weakness. I understand how you feel. I love him, but no longer in love with him. I thank God everyday that I am an emotionally strong person, otherwise, I would have been spent years ago. Sorry your relationship ended. But it it works better for you then Bravo!! Love and Peace to you!
I have to agree 100% with Neptune up there! I have a close friend who is a Cancer and I am also Piscean; we are super close but every time we are around each other it is a learning experience for both of us. Pisces and Cancer are quite the pair but it takes a lot of understanding to handle them! On the surface in daily things I am super impatient but with "big" important things I am patient and our friendship has been one of those things--worth the wait! He can definitely a handful sometimes...then again so can I
Well, I have been reading a lot about Cancerians being horrible partners or lovers and been wondering if I should really share my experience.
I have been in a relationship with my Cancerian for ten years and marriage for two. Well, its all fucked up now but that's entirely my fault, nothing to do with him. All this while, we were happy and secure like we rarely see couples being. We had a fantastic communication, amazing understanding and gave each other as much space as required.
Yes, he is emotionally manipulative and insecure but the way he manages to monitor it and keep it in check warms my heart. I am a Sag and need as much space as possible to just be, he being a Cancer needs to be as close and connected as ever. Yet, he has always understood my need for space and given that to me.
I fell in love with him because I saw the 'forever-kind' of thing in him, his love and commitment and his person. I got all of that and that made me extremely secure. He does not disappear or get secretive maybe because I am doing that all the time and he is just so hungry for me that he has not option but to stay and stay open for whenever I plan to return...
Cynical and judgemental he is yes. Accusations too come but only after I hurt him badly (I had affairs outside my marriage) never before that, never in the normal course of life. We shared an open-ness which was basically fostered by my own need for honesty and expression but the way he responded to it was amazing.
He shares all the household and other responsibilities equally with me never tiring or complaining. There is no ego or false pride that comes in between. Yes, there is a dependency and a sort of lack of worldliness. There are a number of fears to do with success and his relationship with money is extremely screwed up which makes daily living and budgetting a pain since I am very practical and thrifty.
He does fall into the general category of Cancer traits and me in Saggi traits. But we all know how categorising a person and judging him solely by his sun sign is insufficient to make a relationship work. Its all about the two people with that tenuous connection and their willingness to do whatever it takes to make sure their relationship is a happy one and love stays alive. We did it for the longest time and found it very easy despite all our differences until I went and spoiled it all. But I still won't blame it on my sun sign nor hope he does...
Yes, I am - married to a most magical, nurturing Cancerian for 10 years now. We can talk about and through most things and agree to disagree on others. Not one moment of manipulation or game playing. Lots of laughter, delight and joy in each others' company. My friends say we give them hope
However, I have had the experience of 2 other types of Cancer, one so indecisive you want to scream and the other the disappearing, game playing sort.
My conclusion is this - it all comes down to love and whether he/she is a decent person. I do believe each sign has it's own propensities, but I'm convinced, if someone really loved you, they would treat you well and make sure they were honest, caring, considerate at least with you, if no one else.
So those 2 got the old heave-ho. I spent about a few seconds thinking up excuses for indecision and game playing and then I figured - even if this is their cockeyed idea of love, it certainly is NOT mine and I don't want these energies messing up my head and my love of life. Easy to leave them in the dust from that perspective.
If they don't care enough to make you blissfully and consistently happy, they are not worth your tears. Get them out of your life. Nature abhors a vacuum, so as long as you keep that empty space free for someone truly worthwhile, they will come along by and by. Learn to be happy, fulfilled and contented on your own.
And yes! I'm sure they are probably great people and will find and make good partners, just not with you. The feelings aren't strong enough or true enough and the sooner that gets aired and faced, the happier you will be.
Hope this helps anyone agonizing over what it means when people make them miserable.
at 1st i was NOT to open my yab n say my mind, but now i will. Im SICK n TIRED of you ladied POUND cancer men into the ground for not meeting UR expectations.
As watersign we ABSORB EVERY single PERSON around us without wanting too. SPONGES- At times we NEED our DANG SPACE. Its NOT out of consideration for UR HIGH expecttaions or NEEDS, its so we can MAINTAIN the GOOD SOLID LOVING WARM atmosfeare we have with you. We do it so it WONT be ruined.
Ever thought u´re WAY too demanding? That ur EXPECTATIONS are WAY too high?
i wanna turn the dang table on u all. When he needed u, WHERE THE GG WERE U? All i see here is me me me, i i i, he is so he does that he does that etc.
You know guys it takes 2 to tango n u al,l YES U ALL EXPECT him to carry the load of marriage n relationship ALL ON HIS OWN. Now tell HOW is that ANy effing fair???
This is SO typical narrmowminded, limited objective i see so much on here n any where else.
Woman finds man, they get together in relationship n boom its not enough for her.
DONT u know EACH relationship is a fragile rare plant thats need nourishment n love from BOTH parties???? if only one tend to it it WILL die.
NOW im NOT saying each cancer male is a good guy, no there r ROTTEN APPLES among those as well. Like in ANY star sign.
I mark again, relationship is NOT bound on SUNSTARSIGNS BUT in PERSONALITY. I WISH all u ladies u scoff at cancer men LOOK HARD AT URSELF. CONFESS to ur flaws n ur demanding ways. Oh n u´re as much to blame for fall outs with ur men as he is. unless u think 50 50 is off n wrong, that it oughta be 100 0.
ladies, kindlt turne the dang table on urself n dig inside. u´re not pefect.
Now if this cause upset then my mission is completed bc EFF im sick n tired of u blaming men for what went wrong when it shows ur own shortcomings so clearly.
I end my vent by asking again, when he needd u, where the eff were u?