Anyone in a HAPPY RELATIONSHIP or MARRIAGE with a Cancer man?



  • Taurus7,

    If I can just throw my 2-cents in here. I agree with what you're saying. I think it's sad too that Cancer's get such a bad rap due to a few that have demonstrated bad character. If were gonna make such a generalization about Cancer than we must be willing to do the same thing toward all the other signs of the zodiac.

    The reality is that we attract into our lives the VERY things that we focus our thoughts, to include our fears, and our conversation on. Some people ask the question, "why do I seem to attract the same kind of guys/girls into my life?", it is because that "kind" is all you can seem to think about. We spend too much time with our thoughts dominated by what we DON'T WANT and not enough time focused on what we DO.

    Life is driven by the principle/law of cause and effect. There is a saying that goes, "If you wanna know what someone spends their time thinking/speaking about. Just look at their lives." The problem with all of these forums which focus on the 'evil/disgusting/undesirable" traits of Cancer is that they get everyone "focused" on all of the negative stuff that it becomes what they are "looking" for, expecting to see, anticipating when they meet a Cancer, and guess what; if all you've been thinking about and focusing on and expecting are these "negative" trait related to "Cancer", that is EXACTLY what you're going to GET!

    Our lives "MIRROR" our thought life! Good or Bad, that is a natural LAW of the Universe and whether we accept it or believe it or not does not negate it's reality! If you look for, focus on anything long enough with all of your heart, mind and soul and definitely all of your emotions, in this world YOU'LL FIND IT; that's to say, YOU'LL ATTRACT it!! Love begins within, not without (outside ourselves); the same is true for respect! To men, "RESPECT" equals love; men don't need to hear the words, "I love you" as often as women sometimes feel the need to, ESPECIALLY if he FEELS RESPECTED, that is how he, in most cases, equates love for himself. Women on the other had need to be told and feel "LOVED"" and when WE feel LOVED we automatically FEEL RESPECTED as well. It's the whole Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, idea, but they're not really, lol! My point is that Women and Men don't equate Love or feel validated in the same way! If a man is made to feel respected, he will in most cases make that woman feel loved! Unfortunately 'feeling'' loved for women could be a 100 different things to 100 different women; men have a hard time keeping up; especially when it changes from week to week, lol.

    Our validation must originate from within before we will EVER feel it otherwise. This just isn't meant to be found in anyone else.



  • Transformed!!! AMEN!!! So very well said.....so many sayings back up your theory...reap what you sow, but I meditate on those things which are pure,lovely, praiseworthy, you get what you give.....etc, etc

    I know with my cancer, I am making the choice to give him the very best of who I am. it is very easy. it feels natural. I do not even have to put effort into it. I WANT to do for him. In return, he does for me. Am I the one creating this enviroment for us both? Perhaps. But if I am, I am ok with it. And, so is he.

    Will it last forever? I have no clue. But, we are both enjoying what we have to the fullest. For once in my life, I have met someone who I bring out the best in and vice versa. We have fun. We are still playing after 1 1/2 years together. When we are together, we let out a sigh. Only bc it feels so good and safe.

    If I wanted to portray the typical "bull" traits, I am sure I could not say the same things. Yet, my desires to be happy, loved and respected are far greater than the power of my zodiac or womanhood nature..... I love this man. He is worthy of love and we are enjoying that together.



  • Wow!!! Taurus7, the 'energy' that you describe between you guys is so strong that I can almost "feel" it myself, lol! That is what's is ALL ABOUT, your focus is in the place it needs to be; and I say "YES" it will last forever as long as you BOTH continue on the path that you're on; it's working! The LAW of the world is ETERNAL so as long as you, yes like you said, "sow" the right stuff, you can't help but "reap" in like manner! It's a principle that you can't escape!! It works the same on the positive as well as the negative side; it's all about what we release into the atmosphere that produces our manifested experience! I personally find Cancers to be are a warm, loving, emotional and sensitive "breed"; it takes great patience to understand and "gel" with their nature; I think they are often mis-understood; this of course could be said for many others, but my experience has been that they are worth the patience and effort put it; the reward FAR exceeds the effort here, but they aren't for everyone; but then again, we can say about all the other signs, lol!

    I say more power to YOU and YOURS!! You definitely hit the 'lottery' (what I equate the mature/evolved Cancer love experience to, lol:))!

    Much Love and Peace!!

    TT



  • Taurus7,

    Well apparently, nobody knows who's up for just "playing the field" or "is serious" otherwise there won't be any heartbreaks and pain. But that's not the point - the point is how can one lead someone on when it comes to feelings - especially those who are not good in communicating like expressing themselves verbally. Some men are good with actions - they will kiss every girl they like - ends up the girl thinking this means something to him. Others become intimate (thinks it's a way of expressing their deepest feelings - not sure if it's lust or love) but then when it falls apart - that's the only time one realizes that it doesn't mean anything to the other.

    The outcome is inevitable and there's no post-breakup that happens either, no premonition. Just like your relationship now - you never know what will happen in the future. You will never know if the guy you're with will not end up falling out of love one day, or you'll fall out of love. BUT once you "consider the thought of leaving" the relationship (either you or your bf) - I'm sure one of you will always find a ways to sabotage the relationship.

    But who is to blame, really? The one who played the other or the one who was gullible and was left alone?

    I stand for the same point of view - those who play with people's feelings, those who are afraid to risk, those who cheat, those who holds back their feelings, and those who uses people are not worthy.

    These kind of people will never know what they got until it's taken away from their life forever. They will never know these 3Rs (Respect for oneself, Respect for others, and Responsibility for their own actions).

    Love is as good as it gets. Love endures all things, hopes all things. Love is communication. Love is not only good for second chances but endless chances. Love is building a bridge to the one you love not burning the bridge. Love is not about "hoping or waiting to find the perfect one". Love is being grateful for what you have so as the one you have won't be the one who got away. Love to me is holding on not letting go.

    It is a price to pay. True love is only for the brave.



  • true love can also make mistakes, leave fro a short or long time, and come back, once they realize whom they truly love, you.



  • Yes it is not perfect. No relationship is ever perfect. No person is ever perfect.

    No matter how long someone waits for the perfect one, how long someone waits for the perfect place, perfect time - the outcome will still be the same - if she/he have an attitude problem or unpleasant behavior deep within, no matter how perfect is the other is it will still not work.

    If something/everything is perfect then there is definitely something wrong with it.



  • xoxoxo - I am trying to follow everything you are writing. If true love is only for the brave, then how can those people ever expect to make something lasting, bc at some point in time, people have some attitudes or issues at some point in time bc people are individuals.

    So I guess I am confused to a degree.

    Sometimes human nature just prevails. if I sat here and said that I have never flirted or used the fact that i am a woman to get my way, I'd be lying. Now, do I choose to regularly manipulate people ? No. But do I put on a cute pouty, face so I do not have to life something heavy? Sometimes,

    Do I change the tone of my voice to express my emotions, yes I do.

    Do I have an attitude - sometimes yes i do. BC I am a human created with many contrasting feelings and emotions.

    Do I allow them to rule me? I try not too, but I find as I get older, the easier it is to exude peace, forgiveness, comfort and resolve. Was I always like that? No.

    I stayed in an emotionally and physically marriage bc I tried to make the relationship work. Was that the right thing to do? At the time, I thought it was. Yet, at the same time, I nor my children would be the people we are w/o that experience. Does it justify it? No. It just meant that it was our reality and we did our best to learn, grow and develop into who we are now.

    J had a very bad attitude when I first met him. He was miserable. Now, I see the man who he has longed to be coming out and I am glad that this is the way our story is turning out. Do I expect our story to last forever? I have no clue. But, I am happy right where we are, in the here and now.



  • And, perfect does exist. I have seen at work. Does that mean the people are perfect? No, it means there are 2 humble, imperfect people, joined together, making the best of what life has for them. Even if one of them screws up along the way.



  • Taurus - I'm glad you are aware that nobody and nothing is perfect.



  • xoxo - ???? Of course. How could anyone not be? All one would have to do is pick up a newspaper and read it to see that.

    However, if my perception of my relationship is perfect for me right here and right now, there is nothing wrong with that either.



  • Taurus - yes there is something wrong with your perception especially on how you project/show others even pretend to your bf that things are ok when it is not just to be nice and keep the peace. That's one step to unhappiness - pretending.



  • I don't think you see things with your bf as perfect of what is happening to you right now. You want to make it perfect by pretending that you can make it perfect.



  • Read the news. Read the signs around you. What you have is not perfect. Stop that stubbornness, two persona and smell the coffee.



  • You sound too confident that you have a perfect lover, perfect relationship. Life is cruel. I am not convinced that you are perfectly happy and have found the perfect of all perfect. It's too early in the game. Did your relationship went through trials and challenges (cheating, hurtful words, etc.)? Did you both went passed it and made your relationship survive in the end? No? Yes?



  • Makes me wonder even more - what if your bf cheated on you someday or broke up with you? - what will you do? I'm sure you will act like one of the people here - you will let him go and break up with him and wait for the right one - even if that's not what you want to happen.



  • xoxo - One thing, my bf & I are very real. We do not hide things from one another.

    He has broken up with me and I have broken up with him twice. I broke up with him 1st. But we always are drawn back to each other.

    Sweetie, bc we are realistic, that is why we are not living together. BC the needs of our children come before ours.

    I have stated, he and I are right for each other, for right now. I have no clue if it will last or how long it will last.



  • So both of you are realist and contented that you live separately what happens when one of you gets tired from it? Not seeing the man/woman you love when you wake up in the morning and before going to sleep at night? Realist + Realist = Pessimist, one of you should be idealistic.



  • You mentioned somewhere that this relationship is on and off. I am not surprised. Thats why i say im sure that if one of you gets tired or fell out of love both of you will agree that breaking up is the only option because both your minds believes in things that do not exist in reality when it is oftentimes not the case because what matters is perspective.



  • xoxo - That is not rue. When I wanted to to felt I needed to end it, he would not let me. When he wanted or felt he needed to end it, he was back in less than 24 hours. Like I said, I am not sure if we will last forever. But, I ill enjoy what I have int he here and now. As does he.

    What I do not get is your negativity towards this. We had the best day today. We grew closer and deeper after we talked this morning. I told him that I knew something was going on with him. I told him I did not understand why he keeps me at bay sometimes. BC I do not miss a beat when it comes to him and his family. I told him he needed to understand that and accept that that is a part of being in love an d in a relationship with me.

    What more do you want me to say?

    That we played and enjoyed each other the rest of your day? BC we did.

    We went from mushy gushy to hot and wild...

    What is so hard with understanding that we are going with our flow?

    If our flow busts, then it busts.....but I am making the choice to focus and deal with the here and now....



  • I am not the one who is negative you are the one. You may not be aware that you are being negative but thats how you project. And im telling you that no matter how hard you tryto hide it it will still show that you are faking it. His intuition is sharp than you thought it was. Enjoy while it last.


Log in to reply