Anyone in a HAPPY RELATIONSHIP or MARRIAGE with a Cancer man?
I've found this website in an attempt to understand my cancer man whom I've been dating for 3 mths. I was pretty depressed to find out that many girls out there have the same fustration as I've had. Their disappearance, their sudden hot and cold, lack of communication.. etc etc.
Alright, would those who is in a HAPPY relationship or in a marriage with a cancer man share their experiences here? What you would usually do when he went disappearing? How do you deal with his moodiness? Is he really jealous pot when he is very into you? Cause I dun see that in my Cancer man.
I hope to hear from you all please!
chopgal last edited by
I have the same problem with my cancer can you share the web site? Also ant advice would be helpful. I've been with this man for almost 5 years and it has been a rollercoaster ride hot and cold man cave time wonderful connections selfcentered, it can drive you to drink. I know were together for a reason his or mine not quite sure. Im intrested in checking out the site you found if you would please share thanks
Dear chopgal, I mean this website. Well, you could do a search on this forum and you would be more than suprise that you are not alone in this situations. I'm still really stuck with my crab.
SchizophrenicSybil last edited by
wouldn't it be much easier to find someone that is suitable or more compatible to YOUR needs . instead of spending all of your time, energy trying to figure him out, or hoping he will change, it's either best to accept him for who he is, or find someone else that will fit your world better.
I know, that you say you love this guy, yak, yak, yak. people do not change for someone else. it's so easy to find fault in another.
how about this... you can change? it's easier to change yourself, than to work on someone else.
once you have changed, then the people around you will change.
thank about that for awhile..
suncrab69 last edited by
Ditto MsSunny. That is the most valid advice only leading to a road of success!
Taurus7 last edited by
Ditto to what Ms Sunny said. I have a very great relationship with a cancer man. We have known each other 2 1/2 years and have been seeing each other for 8 months.
Sometimes in life, it just takes experience. We are both in our 40's. We have been married to other people. We both have kids. And it seems as you age, your experiences cause you to change.
I would never recommend that for a new relationship foir younger people. You need to have a bond with that special someone. if it is not there in the beginning, or if it takes too much work, then my advice would be...leave it.
cancercutie last edited by
what is so wrong with your cancer needing a break and personal space sometimes? Don't all people need this? This is a major complaint I hear about cancer men. If the behavior is inappropriate to you then you have to let them know, they can't read your mind. Believe it or not alot of time us cancers spend "away" is taken to make our lives a better place to share with another. It's self building. This is neccesary for a cancer soul.
QueenOfHearts58 last edited by
I agree as well with Ms. Sunny. We all deserve to be with people who provide us with what we need. This should come from a partner who just is this way already. It is shear bliss when you find someone like this. It just flows so wonderful. Sure there are still times of working things out, but the basic fit should already be there. If this behavior drives you crazy and you've spoken to the other person about it. But the other person needs the time or space. Then this is not the person for you. You need to find someone who is really into the togetherness as much as you are already. With this issue, we all have a line of needing space and needing togetherness. My advise, let mister crabby have his shell time and let him find someone who wants and needs as much shell time as he does. Find yourself someone who loves the togetherness.
candiss last edited by
In my experience, Cancer men are the Kings of emotional manipulation, they know how to make you fall for them and feel sympathy for them and they take advantage of this only returning those emotions when they see you trying to pull away. They are selfish, they are dishonest, they are unfaithful, the have impossible standards that you will never be good enough to meet however they can't let you go either. And they always have to be the victim, no matter what they do to you, they will flip it so that they are the "good guys" and you are the villain. RUN!
I've just ended my relationship with a Cancer male and I can honestly say it was the worst 2 and a half years of my life. I only wish I had gotten out so long ago it would've caused me a LOT of pain and destruction to my self esteem and money spent in Therapy. What Ms Sunny says is Correct! Please don't waste any more of your energy hoping they will change, they Won't. Not any time soon and definitely not for you.
One thing you all need to keep in mind when Cancers pull their disappearing acts for days and some times weeks at a time, it's because they are with other women! YES. I thought my Cancer was deep down a great guy who would never intentionally hurt me and I thought that he just needed space every now and again, but I've found out there has been 5 other women he's slept with ( that I KNOW of, b/c they contacted Me!) and at least about 25 women I've found him dating/talking to from going through his phone. I found out a week ago, he gave me an STD b/c I was being stupid and faithful and devoted to him and believing his lies and he was cheating on me the Entire time and not even being responsible enough to protect himself. That was the last straw for me, I'm LUCKY it wasn't HIV or some deadly disease and I can learn my lesson and pick up the pieces to move on. Ladies, just stay true to yourselves, don't accept crap from them that you know in your heart is Wrong, and when you feel that tug at your heart saying to leave, DO IT!
SchizophrenicSybil last edited by
anyone who says I need space is saying to leave them alone. too much of that is pretty obvious. either they are not that into you, or there is another person involved.
I mean really... wake up and smell the coffee? it means to simply see the situation for what it is. the truth can be really hard to swallow.
if a man is truly into you, he will be there no matter what... I mean come on now!
Taurus7 last edited by
Ms Sunny, so true. The truth is sometimes harsh. Why would anyone want to be with a man that only wants to see her when it is convenient for him ??
That is a USER, a selfish one too bott.
Dear Candis, I could not agree if you more. But I have to give credits to the other cancer man out there. I know that not all Cancer is the same. We are most probably the few unlucky ones. Heh
My cancer man is a manipulator of feelings as well. He is really suspicious and think that everyone is out to harm him and his family. It was an innocent "sent wrongly text message" originally to my auntie but it ended to her mum. He went totally unirrational and accuse me of doing small little acts behind his back to his mum! And before he confronted me.. he went into his disappearence act. He ignores msges I sent out. He didn't give me a slightest sign of hint. He just choose to the leave the clueless me standing alone wondering what had happen. When I asked him, he was relunctant to talk. But when he's ready to crawl out from his shell to confront me.. Oh man! He had already conjure up this whole ridiculous story on how I've scheme and tested him!
He really caught me off guard. And his accusations are out of the world, beyond my understanding. Despite me asking for numerous time to meet and sort out the problems.. he choose to ignore. He just throws all his anger and accusations at me over texts and never give me a chance to explain. When I refuse to owe up to what I've never did, he thinks that I'm finding excuses for myself. Then he portray himself as a VICTIM, saying how he has finally see my true colours and he has place his trust wrongly on me. HUH? What a drama king! When I want to talk further.. guess what he do? He went crawling back to his shell?! WTF!
It was really difficult for me to come to conclusion that someone who seems so simple minded, loving and trusting could turns so unreasonable to an extend of sounding abit insane. I can understand that he values his family alot.. But this is too much for me to handle. Any issues that is it related to his family, he'll become really defensive! He's also thinks in a complex manner. If he had already confirmed that u have something bad up on your sleeves, no matter what you do or say will not change his mind. Rather, when any slightest thing crops up and he finds a link to his suspicion.. he'll torture you with his silence treatment.
Anyway, I think hiding and not facing the problem is the most cowardly act that anyone could have. And if he needs his own time to think, he got to tell me that! Anyway, that was the last straw.
If a man cannot take care of your emotion needs and is emotionally selfish... RUN!! No matter how nice he had treated you or how much you all had gone through. This man is not willing to risk his heart there to loves you. He protect his dear heart so dearly that he flees at any possible threats. And before you knew, you are there standing alone against the cold winter.
I still got burned from all his accusations. But I'm glad that I've seen this at an early stage.
I started this topic thinking that I'd find some hope or would gain more insights abt this cancer man. Then I find myself ridiculous. Why do I have to go through strangers from forums just to understand him? It was already a screwed up relationship in the beginning.
So if anyone who is reading this find themselves in the same shoe as I am. Well, maybe it's time to ask yourself if it is worth risking your heart for someone who will always have hesistation and is emotionally unavailable for you.
Ms sunny, I totally understand what you mean now. I had just broke up with him and I can't believe how refreshed I was feeling now!
I was shit for 4 days. I can't eat, sleep and laugh. I do not understand his accusations to me and that really drags me down to a pit. It even got to an extent that I buy his story and it even came across to me that I must have done something so terribly wrong that he is treating me this way. He screws up my mind big time.
But my friend shook me awake and let me view things in a whole different light. I became clear to me that I'm in love with a selfish, coward and self-absorbed guy. He dictates when he decides to meet or reply me. He knew I love him and he played him game.
2busy last edited by
NotsoLeo, I went through the same nonsense, especially the accusations. We both had the flu and I was discussing a tried and true method of using alchohol and rock candy. He yelled at me and said "Why does everyone want me to drink? My friends want me to drink too." I replied that I was referring to a home remedy not what your friends are trying to do. I don't know what they're intentions are I can only speak for my self. He said absolutely nothing. Then I said if I really wanted to f^%$ you up I would slip you some Ketamine and you wouldn't know where were for the next 3 days, but that would not help me out since you wouldn't be able to have an erection but since you act as if you don't have a d$#% it wouldn't make much of a difference. He just stood there stunned. You have to have a smartass comment when they get hateful or just cuss them out and make them look stupid, that works sometimes also. But with me not acknowledging him or talking to him has worked wonders also. He knows he's f&&^ed up and now that he's over his moodiness he expects me to talk to him again. Fat chance!!!!! Everybody at work call him The Pr(k and for good reason.
pixies1 last edited by
had a lover for many years with lots of great stuff to the relationship ..done now for 3 yrs ..I wish I could have gotten ahold of the freewill makers and had a serious talk with them ..I think cancers are afraid and I spent many years being addict to this
pixies1 last edited by
how to get free in mind and soul is the problem..I am the fish and he the cancer
lovelyness212 last edited by
agreed with 2busy for not talking at all to him. let him getthe lesson
Amethystheart last edited by
I just a couple of weeks ago, met a Cancer Male. reading all this kinda makes me not want to pursue this. I am an Aquarius, is this a bad thing?
tooralooryeaye last edited by
Amethyst, you just have to have patience. Holy mackerel, Cancers are confusing...and as everyone has listed off all the negative points about them, I can think of several that I personally know who each have those negative qualities. But there's a reason those people are still in my life! I think it's the adjustment to "hot and cold" with them. Just be patient with them and take them as they are, just like you would expect them to of you. They can be INCREDIBLY frustrating and make you want to rip your hair out, but when they are around and there for you, you're reminded why you kept them in your life. Still, it's your choice. There have been Cancers in my life that I simply couldn't wait on anymore and let them go. There are others that have been worth all the trouble, and others I'm still getting used to. And above all else, listen to your gut: if it tells you to get rid of 'em, do it! If it tells you to wait it out a little more, do it! All relationships take work and having ANY kind of relationship with a Cancer is like working eight days a week, but it pays off.
shanghaidiva last edited by
I'm a Cancer Female and I will not blame the sign for all these. Individual characters and upbringing plays a very important role as well. Cancer are known for being nurturing, loyal and sensitive in a good sense. We are great with taking care of people we love. Yes, sometimes we can be hot and cold and moody but who does not. I guess it takes a special someone to be able to handle a CANCER sign? Once a Cancer lovees you, you are in the best hands.
I have been married for 11 years and my man is Aquarius......I guess crab and water really works together perpectly.