BlMoon - could you take a look for me also?



  • Like Shatz, I am at that age where hormones shift and I have mood swings. I feel lonely but partly - I know why I am lonely. My adolescent daughter does not like me. My husband does not really like me and moved out in Jan 2009 wanting a divorce (went out on his own midlife crisis, which wreaked havoc upon our household and our finances). In May, he moved back in because I was on the verge of bankruptcy due to attorney bills, medical bills and not recieving enough support from him to maintain the household. Plus money he said would come through to pay the debts did not come through. So he is paying all the household expenses (well most of them) while 2/3 of my salary goes to paying my debts. It will take 8 months to pay these off. We have an extension on the divorce till July 1 2011. We are living as roomates. I have no idea if he is going back to his condo when the lease is up on May 1 or if he will now try to force me out of the house. Plus we have a 9 year old with special needs to consider. I do not want to move and upset the balance of her life. I know that even if my husband recognized that he made some errors in starting the divorce and even if he were to reconsider, he would never admit that he was wrong. I think that he will either go through with it, or manage to work something out to keep me in limbo for a long time. This is not much different than the way the last few years of our marriage was anyway. We have essentially been separated but living in the same house without legal separation an if something happens to me and I get sick or my paycheck is short, he has been there to help. I tried to make it for a year with him in his own place but everything in the house broke at once, plus there were medical bills and attorney bills. Granted, this was exceptionally bad luck and maybe I could make it alone with just me and my 9 year old and stay in the house. But I am not sure. I don't know what to expect from him. He wants to do things without involving attorneys because of the expense but I am afraid he will do more stupid stuff.

    To complicated things, I have never met anyone else in 20 years that I was remotely interested in or who struck me as a potential partner. Now I have found someone who I know really really likes me but who won't make a move unless my husband is out of the picture.

    He also has a GF and things are not that great with them, but I feel that he will also not risk that relationship for a maybe - either. Of course, this is the least of my worries, it just happened that I found a potential match at an inopportune time.

    So I feel as if I am in limbo. My husband started this mess and told me when he started it that "the wheels were turning" and "it was a done deal". But his attorney referred me to my own attorney and here, a year and a half later, we are in the same house, just like it was before, but much further in debt and the damage done to my psyche and the stability of the home for the little one and her emotional growth has just been devastating. I don't know what he will do. He talks about all sorts of different things he is going to do and nothing manifests. I would like to get these debts paid off ASAP and I know that will take me at least untilMarch or APril of 2011. But I still do not know what his intentions are or what I should plan on.

    What do you think? my bd - if you need it - is 3/14/1958 and his is 6/12/1961