Blmoon



  • Hi Blmoon,

    I realize that you are very busy and that many people are calling out for your help. Let me begin by refreshing your memory on my situation…My fiancé and I have been having difficult time in our relationship. He was drinking heavily and spending a lot of money, staying out all night and he wasn’t working. You told me then to stay with the relationship because spirit said we had to “heal one another” and if I moved on, I would simply attract the same. . You also told me that if I asked him to move out and he left to let him go. Well, in the past 2 months my life has been in turmoil. We were evicted from our home and me and our three daughters went to stay with my mother. He disappeared for almost 2 weeks after I told him I didn’t want to be with him any more. He would call once a day to check on the children, to argue with me about custody and that was it. He then called and told me that he wanted to be with me but he was tired of all the arguing. To which I told him that I really didn’t want to be in a relationship with him and the only way I would consider to continue the relationship was if he sought help for his mental condition, stopped drinking and got a job. I strongly feel he is bipolar. He agreed and we have been working on our differences. Anyway, drinking has stopped and he is working 2 jobs. His attitude is much improved. He has an appointment with a psychiatrist on the 18th of August. I have found another place to live and our children seem at peace here. Do you think this change is permanent or is this just a normal period in his Bipolar episodes? I am frightened to put faith in the good because it has been bad for so long. Also, you told me that his mother wanted to help, does she have anything to do with this change…I also wanted to know if you see anything about a friend named Debbie. She has passed but I think of her often and she was really one of his best friends.

    My other question is I keep having the number sequence 666 come up…my bank account balance, deposit amount for my new place ( I almost didn’t sign the lease) , number of emails in my inbox. Do you have any idea what this means? Should I be worried? I am a little superstitious.

    I know I have a lot of questions and I understand if it is too much to ask.

    Blessings,

    Luvslife



  • Actually the 666 is a joke--from a friend on the other side--says lighten up and even when things go good you are afraid to relax--keep waiting for the "catch". Someone was a real jokester--was that Debbie? I'm glad to hear you used the bottom out expieriance to turn your man around--he had no where to go but give in to getting better or comepletely bottom out. I think you will see both improvement AND setbacks. Sorry, but it's part of the package--bipolar is a manageable disease but it has it's ups and downs and there are so many triggers that affect their ability to be symptom free. First, be sure to get him to sign the doctors release that gives you permission to share info as it is key. When he is sick he will not know it and you will be the one calling his doctor. The meds also need your supervision as bipolars often stop or reduce their meds without telling. Keep the narcotics locked up if he has those as well as some doctors prescribe ant anxiety meds with their regular meds for brain chemistry. When they are well they will not go on a binge but if they go manic or dpressed they can't be trusted with meds. and make sure his dose is put out everyday and pay attention on the count so you can tell if they are skipping pills--it is not uncomman for them to feel good then think they are being poisend and stop doses--bipolar people can be very silently paranoid and obssess about the oddest things including their meds.. After awhile you will get to know when he's going "south". Bipolars are very sensitive to stress of any kind. They also should have limmitted axcess to the finances as if they go manic they can do some damage. Educate yourself and read all the books you can. Go to a big bookstore and read for free if you can't afford books. A good doctor will order blood tests every week at first to check meds in the blood till he can see what the right dose is. A;lso the dose changes after awhile. It may take awhile to find the med that works best for him. Depekote is a comman med that works well. Bipolar is forever so arm yourself with education until you get the hang of it. Don't let this scare you as there are many very gifted and famouse people right now living full lives who are bipolar. It is not always smoothe sailing but it is manageable. Also, be sure to take care of your own health as they can stress you out with the mood swings. Try not to take it personal when they get edgy. The hard part is knowing when they are being bipolar or a b utt head! If you need support there are always groups in every town that meet and share help for others dealing with mental illness. Also, don't be surprised at the lack of understanding from friends and family sometimes--it's a hard reality that we as a society are so uneducaded about mental illness. Most people not affected by it still insist the ill person needs punishing or a good talking to! You will be fine--take it a day at a time. Ifl possible go with him to his appointment to be sure the doc hears all the symptoms and not just the ones he is aware of and that way you can also makes sure he signs the release for you to discuss info with his doctor.



  • Blmoon,

    The only real jokester that used to be in my life was my grandfather. He has been dead since I was 12 years old but there was never a dull moment. I miss him much. I’m not sure though. I do tend to think what’s the catch especially when things are going well for us. The apartment that we have moved into was an old Masonic Temple in the early 1900’s. It’s funny that we would move into such a place. My grandfather’s family is deeply rooted in the freemasons. Anyway, since we moved in sometimes late at night I think I hear something walking in the apartment. I don’t feel threatened but I know I hear it and one night my daughter said “Oh, daddy’s home.” But, there was no one there. The occurrences with the numbers started with the lease. I love the apartment-lots of room, many windows, full of sunshine and my daughters instantly were at home.

    Thank you for the advice. I asked him to allow me to go to some of his appointments with him. Here is the catch-he has been putting a lot of pressure on me to marry him. We have been engaged now for 5 years. I had started planning a wedding and his mother passed unexpectedly. He then asked for us to wait because he couldn’t imagine getting married without his mother being present. Then, as his behaviors have worsened I was reluctant to marry him. It’s not that I don’t love him but we have so many problems. He said that it would make a difference to him if I show that I am committed to our relationship. I think I show him every day. He says he won’t sign any releases or allow me to go to appointments until we are married. Do you think marriage would be good for us?

    The anxiety that you mentioned. I really don’t understand. He will be anxious if my girls have toys out of place or there are too many items on the coffee table. All of the behaviors you describe, I see almost every day. I try not to let my mood be dependent on how he is feeling but it is very difficult. I pray that he keeps this appointment. I asked him if he ever wished he would feel even. His moods are so up and down. I have been doing a good amount of reading and I think he might be rapid cycling at least for the past year.

    Anyway, back to Debbie. She was a special friend to my fiancé. They grew up together and even dated each other in high school. Debbie’s story is special and tragic. Maybe I have been thinking of her because of my fiancé’s escalation of symptoms. Debbie also had bipolar disorder. She had been hospitalized many times for her illness. She had a little girl about 4 years old and found out that she was pregnant once again with a little boy. She was not happy about the pregnancy (that is what keeps coming up in my mind how unhappy she was about the pregnancy). She was taking Lithium and the doctor told her that she would have to be taken off of her meds for the pregnancy. About five months into the pregnancy she had a manic episode and was hospitalized. She was in the hospital her entire pregnancy. The doctors discharged her the week of her due date. Debbie committed suicide the day she was discharged, taking the life of her unborn son as well. But to meet her she was a breath of fresh air-always pleasant and delightful to be around and this is how my fiancé is as well. You would love him if you met him. He is the life of the party but not at home I think I worry about the consequences of him not seeking help and maybe that is why she keeps popping up.

    Blmoon-thank you for listening.

    Blessings,

    Luvslife



  • I got goose bumps! I really see why Debbie is on your mind as she is very much trying to help you and your mate. You know first hand the reality of this disease and you already know how much it is out of their control. Suicide is very much a reality and I have run across many posts here written by loved ones still searching for answers or carrying guilt over a loved ones suicide when it was not as much of a choice at all--mental illness--bipolar--is so misunderstood because it is not constant--altho there are some little quirkes that are everyday the really bad episodes can apear in an explosive way or the low end after the mania can come the depression that precedes suicide. Suicide can come inderectly during manic episodes as well because they need so much meds to come down they don't keep track or they get involved in dangerouse behaviours--recklessness is a real threat. I don't think you should cave on the marriage threat. You really do have the upper hand and he's just grasping for control. Reverse the tables and agree to marriage after at least six months of successful treatment. Be firm in a nice way. You have proven your love plenty and can tell him that with a smile and a hug. It's true. His love for you is your bargaining tool and as long as you use it in a positive manner it is a good power to have. Treatment first--including you in his treatment. I feel Debbie is going to help you with this as it is her karma to make io a special effort to help. I too had a very close female friend when I was younger who was on lithium and at the time I loved her exuberant generouse wild heart and had no idea of the bad side--just knew she had to be hospitalized many times but never saw that side--years later she committed suicide and left two children raised by the father. I saw her once in the middle of a manic episode and couldn't believe the change--she was not the person I knew! Later I would end up knowing first hand all about this disease. I've taken care of a bipolar for 39 years and early on long before the diagnoses I often dreamed of my passed over friend and like you I think she too was close by helping me. I have to go--dinners cooking and I want to say more--specially about your new residence--I pick up spirits around--but they are not bad at all. I want to take a dee[per look. Blessings



  • You know it is almost like a split personality. One side is responsible and giving and the other side has no conscious. He will go out and spend every penny even on useless junk in a manic episode. He will bring the junk home and act like it is buried treasure. LOL. It really isn’t funny but sometimes I have to laugh…

    I think that is a good idea to tell him I will marry him after six months of treatment. I never thought of that. Thank you for your help. I really don’t feel that I can stay in a relationship with him if he does not seek help. It is just too difficult and it takes so much emotional energy. Not to mention, I don't think it is good for our daughters to witness some of his recklessness.

    I am interested to hear about the spirits. My fiance told me today that my daughter was playing a video game and her score came up 666. Of course, he didn't say anything about it to her but mentioned it to me jokingly. He knew I freaked out about the balance of my deposit on the lease.

    Luvslife



  • When my bipolar walks up to the door with a bag or a box--I know his meds are off! Befor he got his meds right no telling the stacks of stuff I'd find. One day I happened to open a cabinet in the bathroom I rarely use and there must have been 100 bars of soap! I didn't know weather to laugh or cry--I was so starteled and when I asked him he just did not get it that it was odd. He will bring home pens--we have hundreds that I throw away or donate but leave a bunch so he doesn't have an axiety attack. I'm very energy conceise and keep my rooms feeling good and light so to accomadate his need for stuff we bought a nice furniture set--lots of dresser drawers and one high boy so it is at least stays in the drawers out of sight but I must warn you it is a constant battle to keep their chaotic hoarding from getting out of hand. Heres the odd part--they know everything in their mess and if you move it they freak--their mess in their mind is perfect BUT here's the crazy part they get very freaked over other's mess. This is bipolar thinking--it makes no sense and before a good doc and meds I thought this man was just a tyrant and jerk but no they honestly get anxiety attacks over chaos that is not theirs. Their chaos makes sense to them. I also keep my own room! If you live with a bipolar it is a nessescety! Talk more later--interseted in your place--it feels very active around you.



  • That is exactly it. This morning, he was upset because his DVD's were "out of order". I had rearranged them a couple days ago. He told me that they were by catagory but honestly I didn't see a rhyme or reason to them. I guess they were in his categories. He has looked at them for the last two days and never said a word but this morning it bothered him. I noticed he is worse when he first wakes up. He works night shift and I have also notice that if his sleep cycle gets disturbed he is worse. I keep telling him that consistency is best for him and that he must make a schedule for himself and stick to it.



  • Bump.:)



  • I laughed later at the realization that my six month marriage suggestion echoed your 666 connection! Perhaps I was not the only one who wanted to tell you that answer! I haven't forgotten the spirit connection of your new place--I'm very busy lately (remodeling project) and haven't had the calm energy to give that a deeper look--give me a bit more time and I will do that as I feel the attraction. I have a headache at the moment--allergies. Is there a favourite place in your house? Or a spot you don't like? Describe this if you can as it will help me connect. I'll give it a look after this headache passes.



  • Blmoon

    Whew! It has been a long bumpy ride for the last few months. I hope this finds you well. I am still interested in your answer about the presence in my house and the possible meanings of the 666 as it is still popping up now and again. My fiancé has been seeking treatment both therapy and medications and I am starting to see a change for the better. I feel there is a presence that could be watching out for me possibly. I have had a couple occurrence which I strangely feel were not by chance. He is still wanting to marry and I am still stalling. I hope that you are still online because due to difficulties I haven’t had much computer access. I like the living room best because it is very bright and sunny in that room. Also, there are two walk in clothes which remain very cold all the time regardless of the amount of heat in the rest of the house. Once out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw a shadow of a man in the hall way.

    Any insight is greatly appreciated.



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  • Watergirl ,

    Hmmm. This does make sense with what has been going on in my life. Thank you for the input.

    Luvslife


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