Help with a gemini man!
Hi there. I have a gemini man who is confusing me constantly!
When we met we hit it off immediately. We both felt really comfortable and started dating. He is very busy with work owns 2 businesses and has his kids from his previous marriage every weekend.
We were only seeing each other a couple of times a week and he would often call and say he couldnt make it and he even stood me up without contact once. He rang me every day or tect during the week but come the weekends when he was with his kids I wouldnt hear a peep from him. I started to get a bit frustrated.
I was expecting the relationship to evolve as he told me that he wanted it too. But it was like he wanted me to lay everything on the table but he would give me nothing emotionally. I am usually quite guarded but because I felt so comfortable with him I let my guard down and opened up.
Anyway after not seeing him for over a week him saying he was sick and busy etc I sent him a text saying we needed to talk. I told him I was frustrated and thought it might be best to have a chat about what we wanted from each other. He didnt reply nor did he answer my phonecalls.
He is so aloof! We ended up meeting and we decided that it was best to stop seeing each other as he couldnt give me the time I wanted or needed. He liked spending all weekend with his kids and wasnt ready to involve anyone else with that.
I was expecting that it would end but found myself a bit hurt that he let me go so easily. I went home and agonised over what had just happened. Being a Scorpio I do get hurt quite easily.
I sent him a text saying I was sorry it hadnt worked out and I wished it had. He didnt reply. So I decided not to contact him.
Two days later he text me saying he hoped I was ok and he was thinking about me and what had i been up to?
Why would he do this? He knew how hurt I was! I text him saying I was fine, not to worry and I had been keeping myself busy. No reply. I then text him saying i was actually still a bit upset and it would prob be best not to contact each other for a while. He replied with Goodnite.
This morning I was wondering what he had text me for? My reaction? Because he's a nice person? So I text him saying I was thinking about him and I will miss him. He text saying he would be in my area in an hour and did I want him to drop in. I said no not a good idea. He said cant to friends catch up for a chat and a coffee?
So after 3 days Im his friend. I told him he hurt me and to leave me alone. I was pretty upset. Ive deleted his number so i wont text him.
He is so hot and cold through the whole relationship. I just dont know anymore if he even cared!
Sorry its so long winded but I would appreciate any insight. Thanks
Run Scorpio Run.........
First of all.....after knowing astrology, how can you put yourself in this situation? Scorpio Gemini???
Trust me, I know a lot of Geminis, no relationships though, just casual friends, relatives.....
Some truth about them(I am NOT criticizing them, God made them like that because we need all kinds of people in this world)
1. They don't understand the concept of "Truth and Honesty". All Geminis, even with people moon in Geminis I've met are compulsive liars. They just can't help it. There minds are built that way. Gemini being truthful and honest is against the law of nature.
Trust me if all the situation had been perfect, and you two got married and celebrating 40 years anniversary, he'll still be the same. I have experienced it. As an emotional water sign you can never understand his compulsion to speak not truth all the time, whether needing it or not.
2. They are emotionally detached. No, his brain can't comprehend your pain. Just trust the nature here, he being Gemini. He doesn't understand your pain. He'll of course say he does and be sympathetic when you guys meet. He is playing an enchanting part and that's that. End. Your hurt, pain, miss are ONLY yours. He has no clue, not now, not ever will he understand.
3. You are out sight and so you are out of his mind. Some new things to engage himself. You are done for the time being. New things eventually gets old. And he thinks of you again. A new thing again to him. Nothing of the old feelings remain. He is starting again with you.
4. Okay he loves kids. Because he thinks he is one of them. The eternal Peter Pan. Herge's(Gemini) Tintin, who never grew up. Trust me when the kids will grow up, he'll disappear emotionally. He will be a fun father but never emotionally there.
5. He's a PEOPLE'S PERSON. Always. And u r among many people in his life. Not special. Never essential. Neither ever'll be one for whom he can focus all his love...... as your Scorpio mind demands. Trust me, tell him its over with you too but you want "to be friends" and maintain everything as was before....no commitment, no promise. You'll make him glow.
I hope I made sense to you. I know when you love and care for a person you do it with all....completely. But nature didn't make everyone like that. And that's okay I guess, since variation is a very important aspect of planet earth. It'll kill you to take yourself completely out and of course you can't fall in love with astrological compatible signs only. Love doesn't work that way. But neither does nature............which sometimes we forget completely.
I am so so much hoping the best for you. Try to be positive. Its not easy I know.
Thank you so much for your reply. I really appreciate it. I have never been in a romantic relationship with a gemini before so I had looked into the astrology compatibility and it didnt look good even then!
But I told myself to give it a go and it might work out. My sister is a gemini and the lovliest person although she is prone to exaggerate.
I have never been involved with someone who has left me so empty and confused. I guess its more the fact i cant handle the unemotion that he has and i think my emotional intensity wouldve scared him! To be left feeling like I meant nothing to him has really hurt me there is no way I can possibly stay friends. I dont like rejection. I am a true scorpio being born on the 15th November.
At the moment I am lost in my life and possibly trying to hold on to something with him as i feel like I have nothing else!
But thank you. What you have said makes it all clear and I will steer away from geminis romantically in future. Youre right I shouldve known it wouldnt work and what was I thinking. But I have a big heart and when I like/love someone I give them all. its all or nothing with me. I cant handle the emotion not being returned.
When he made excuses as to why he couldnt see me I had a feeling he wasnt telling the truth but gave him the benefit of the doubt.
I will just hide for a couple more days until I am ready to once again face the world! Thanks again!
You are very very much welcome dear. No problem. I really do wish you all your heart's desire.
Just a very little thing. You're third decan Scorpio(late-Scorpio) just like me. I am a third decan Virgo too. There is this transit of Uranus going on in Pisces for the last seven years. It had created many tumultuous changes in the life of Pisces(1st house, self), Virgo(7th house, relationship ) and Scorpio(5th house, romance). It'll be over by March 2011. So just few more months left of the treachery.
I have gone through hell in a way I can't even describe. But it's so close to being over. If you can, just be super-cautious till 12 March, 2011.
I wish you all the luck.
Hi sonamam I think you made so good generlise points regarding Geminis. As with all astrological signs the sun sign is only a small part of who we are the other planetary placements also make major contribution to us as unique individuals.
Thanks you so much Sonamam. I have been unlucky in love for years! Bad break up in 2004 and nothing good after that. It has been awful. I am 34, never married, no kids. So bring on March 2011. I am ready for someone nice in my life.
Im sorry to hear you have had a bad run. I wish you all the best too.
Thank you dear :))))))
Oh! trust me with so many close friends and relatives being Gemini I am quite aware of that.
And of course I love their attitude....... free as air. In my heart of heart I sometimes wish I could be like them; and not be so analytical and pessimistic. :(((
Hi"Scorpiobunny" i m sorry to hear you are having difficulty with this person, i know how you feel i been there too before with the Gemini.
Like you i was also wondering why he always give me mixed message and why the short cancellation and the complete silence on weekend.
After we said goodbye and he will tell me something hurtful like i found someone else or he doesnt like me but then two weeks later he will come back and ask to see me for a short catch up for a coffee or something
i don't know why those men seem to behave this way and there were a time i will drive myself crazy to understand the things he said, the things he does and the things he didnt do.
it took me time to realize that you cannot control or change someone else doing , ever if you manage to understand them
you can only change yourself and do what you can for yourself to be happy
You have the power to give yourself what you need when you know what you need
The hardest thing is when you are involved with someone that you like and you feel wanting to get close to them and they seem to make everything difficult for you to get close to them
the little things that should be little become big, big issue
the normal behavior become weird response
you kind never know where you stand
i found it quiet funny now thinking about it
and you never quiet sure what he want from you, if it’s over or not, if he care or not
You need to check deeply how this whole deal make you feel because ever when things are over, you still kind wondering about it and it feel like a piece of you still stuck in the relationship
it took me time to stop wondering and accept how this person is behaving and not judge them for it or thinking more from what they are doing
if you get catch inside the web , you really feel drain by the situation
my advice is, take some time for yourself, give him time and just do your things without expecting anything
what happen will happen
if he calls you for catch up or something else, make sure it work on your condition not his
it’s possible he may have been hurt before and he may need time
Gemini men seem to be scared about relationship, how you fix this i dont know but i know by listening to my body and my thoughts i know what i want and i know what i can handle and i cant handle
so whatever it is i feel, i communicate it with the guy and i try to communicate what i want from him without thinking that it’s maybe going to be an issue for him
these are the things i want so i dont want to feel sorry to want them
if he cant handle it then i tell him to go away because i m not ready to play another game.
you need to be firm and maybe try to not analyze him too much
i mean the mind of those guys change so much in minute that you never seem to get it right, you need to be fair to yourself , you have the right to get your need met, if he cant give what you are after then this make it difficult to continue
There were a time i thought i could keep contact with him but each time we contact each other this doesnt bring me anything good at all, therefore i decided to keep no contact for a time with him
i m not closing the door to him completely i simply need to sort my head out of the situation and find my balance again
the things with those guys, they make it so difficult for you to go forward and simply move on from them, so i found a policy of no contact for a while is quiet healthy for me
be happy and you are not the only one having issue with those guys,
try to take it easy, trust me i went through the same story then you and ever this day i dont know what his going to do next or if it’s over
i just simply stop wondering about his doing or try to figure out the meaning of his next move, i just try to find my balance again and make myself happy
after all isn't this what you needed from him, happiness?
I am going through a break-up with my Gemini man too. Only when he got bored with the relationship over the last year, he rejected me and isolated himself instead of leaving. Everytime I asked him what was going on, he pretended to love me so he could get a free financial ride for a time when I had a small inheritence. I kept asking him why he was spending so much time locked alone in the office room that we previously enjoyed sharing. His dirty and slovenly habits caused me to give the space entirely to him and set up my office in my bedroom. Did I mention: this is MY HOUSE?
Now that my money is running out and I provoked a confrontation about us never, ever doing anything together; he has moved out to the travel trailer in my yard and plans to just "take" the trailer for himself when the house is sold. He has a huge sense of entitlement and we were in a non-traditional arrangement in which I supported us and he got to be a bum. He continues to rely on me finanacially. I guess he thinks he's doing me a favor just by gracing me with his presence here. Well, I wish he would leave so I could cut at least some loses.
I remember my sister's ex was a Gemini and there was a lot of talk about his flakiness but I didn't realize the extent of that problem within that Zodiac Sign: WOW! To compound matters, my sign is Libra and all we care about is commitment and love. Healing iis slow because he is still around and some recent indiscreations with a lady in our neighborhood. Sounds like a real charmer, huh? Well, there were some actual good reasons why I put up with his disrespect and disregard for this period of time. It has become intolerable now though and I must say it has been a powerful hurt.
Working on: moving on. Thanks for sharing your stories, it helps to know others have similar experiences...
Thanks for sharing your story, i heard so many stories about those guys
a lot the stories seem to have been written by the same person sometimes, it’s strange.
so far Gemini man seem to be the closest to reflect themselves as Narcissist behavior.
I think you maybe involved with one, base on what you wrote
Still Jenny, i always ask the lady that share their story to try to take their life in their own hand, never mind how hard it look like
you need to take control of your life
I realize myself that when we ( Women) in general are giving too much in relationship without getting our side satisfy things simply seem to not work.
we focus on the guy and his doing but we need to face the truth and take responsibility for our own life whatever what is happening.
the thing is sometimes, we (women) are waiting for the guy to change or to show us some appreciation, we have some sort hope in our mind that he will change for us, the thing is most the time the guy doesn't change his way because he can see his getting what he need from you, so why would he change
it’s you that need to change
it’s you that need to reeducate yourself to stand for yourself
it’s you that need to learn to say NO, and say IT’S ENOUGH, I HAVE ENOUGH
it’s hard, very hard to fight with the person that you love, it;s hard to learn to lose them and let go
but during the time we trying to be patient with them, we are losing ourself in the process.
we can go on and talk about him and what his doing or not doing and how bad he is
i m sure you told other people about his doing before too
but the thing i think you can start to do is for you to get your life back with dignity
he live in your place, get him out
he rely on you for money, stop providing for him, no point going through what you are doing for him, start today by doing thing for you for a change
his only getting his way because you are allowing him to do so
kick him where it hurt and do it for you not to hurt him but do it because his right for you
and let it go with your heart and wish him well
stand up for yourself today for you to not regret tomorrow
have recently found out this guy who i met through internet dating (the gemini i had agonised over in my first post) was operating under 2 profile names! so when he told me he only wanted to be with me and 'hid' his profile, he was using his other one to continue dating while with me. which now explains why he kept cancelling on me and standing me up wow! im such an idiot! i am so hurt all over again that there are people out there that treat people like this! i found out about his extra profile as he contacted my friend who is on the same site. she told me to have a look at this guys profile as he sounded perfect for me and she was thinking of seeting me up with him. as soon as i read the profile i knew it was him. and the pic confirmed it!!!!
who does this!! he isnt even remorseful about it. he seemed so genuine
Hi"Scopiobunny" most people that are on the net behave like that guy you know, try to not hold this against him too much
someone people speak to people online to live a certain fantasy or escape from their reality, still when you meet somone online try to take time to know them and build something real oustide the internet, meet up, talk and let things goes
i think if you could try to pass the events that he contacted other people let judge him on what he does in real life it's better
you could ever talk to him about hi,m contacting a friends of yours with another profile in joking way
dont take it too at heart