The strangest thing to ever consume me

  • I am 28. I am not a bad looking and I have a mouth on me. Getting what I wanted at some point was easier. I broke with an ex girl friend who was younger to come back home 9 states away to a world no longer ment for me. In the midst of the train wreck of my last relationship I discovered someone from my past. Some one who wasn't close and for a year i pursued her. Strange enough I actually drove 10 hours to see her and she actually hid in her house.

    Needless to say the madness continued and I held on to hope. It makes no sense why i stayed in this situation. Things never added up . I am not even sure if this person even had an ounce of truth to them. I never got any straight answers. I don't care for them. What I would like to know is will i have the pleasure to see her suffer like I have? Truthfully I only will feel satisfaction from that. I spent too much time. I could have gone back to my x. I deluded myself...for what? nothing.

    I have done many readings and the one card that pulls up is the eight of swords. I m not sure if anyone cares to attempt to demystify this but it cant hurt.

  • Hello ratblood. The 8 of Swords is a card of upheaval. Energy is being blocked; mental energy because you pulled an air card. There's a crisis of the mind going on here. There's a feeling that one needs to get out of this mental situation no matter what the cost. Caution should be used. Action without reflection could lead you to more anguish. If you see this card representing yourself, it's telling you there is always a way out of situations like this but to stop and reflect on your actions that led you here. If you pulled this card for her, than the above applies to her and you have gotten your wish; you are seeing her suffer. You then have to ask yourself if that makes you feel better. You can always throw another card to see where you might focus your energy next.

  • Ratblood - My heart goes out to you for the pain you are in. You are about the age of my children so I hope you will be willing to consider the perspective of someone who has gone through some bad experiences too. I also have been in situations where I felt used and violated. Anger almost inevitably follows pain. What I eventually realized was that I was as mad at myself for getting into -- and staying in -- the situations as I was at the other person for their abuse. Anger is part of the grieving process. Whether it's grieving over the loss of a friend or family member, or over the loss of our own dignity, self-respect, time, energy and all that we could have done had we made other choices. In this situation the big question is, "Where will you go and what decisions will you make now?" You can feel fairly sure that she is not concerned with your pain. (She could even be getting pleasure from it.) Why let her cause you to make more mistakes? She's definately not worth it.

    I was angry for a long time with my ex-husband. Did he care? Not in the least. He pranced merrily on with his life talking smut to everyone who would listen about my demise. Like you, I took several hits from various circumstances in succession. Ultimately, I went down for the count. I had a lot of anger and pretty well quit believing in myself or my ability to get up again. In time, I have come to realize, my anger actually held me back from enjoying my own life and moving on. Take your anger and instead of directing it at her (which will surely only bring more harm to you) use it to do something positive with your life. What would make you feel GOOD about yourself? Where would you like to see yourself in five, or even ten years? How can you get from here to there?

    God/karma/the 'powers that be' will, in their own time, deal with this other person -- GUARANTEED. I have seen it time and time again. They ultimately bring about their own undoing. Choose a higher road. Life is MUCH better there.

    Also, consult an astrologer who can advise you where to live to have the most joy and success. Different locations bring different things to us. Where you are now could even be contributing to your intense anger/emotions. If this area wasn't good for you before, do not think that will change with time -- it will not. Move, move, move. Find a better place to live.

    I wish you all the best.

  • Hi, Something tells me there's a lot more to you than being a nice-looking 28yr old. You know, our natural inclination after a break-up is to find someone else. I had a very bad break-up about 6yrs. ago. It actually brought me closer to the true meaning of love. With relationships, you can't really be impulsive because a lot of the time what your looking for is not what you get. I know, men are supposed to be the pursuers. That's ok, but remember, you want to pursue something of meaning. If the signs are there early on that it won't be lasting--PAY ATTENTION TO THAT. It's fun getting to know people. Don't put all your cards in one stack. My advice to you is get to know people. Also, something tells me that you are a fun person capable of giving and loving, etc. Do what you enjoy doing. Blessings to you.

  • Well what I feel is..that you lack emotional security in yourself. You look for others to make you feel more secure with you. Be happy with yourself..self-love..if you don't have that..what joy can you bring to others. aka love. Maybe this should be a time for you to analyze yourself ..your actions...and not others. You cannot control other people...but you can control yourself. Don't blame other people for your bad decisions and mistakes. It takes more strength and maturity to let the forces that be (karma) work it out..than ill wishing. ill wishing is bad energy..what you put out is what returns to you 3 fold. Be careful what you wish for..cause it might just come back on u.

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