Cancer man, and he is confusing

  • BB,

    Start a new thread with you and his birthdays and the question you would like answered. No go with the new guy huh? My weekend hasn't got started yet Shan had to work today. So I am guessing there will be no second date with this guy I'm assuming? How was he so boring?

  • There wasn't that attraction...then he hardly spoke to me...and he didn't ask for my number...ding ding go.

    UPdates from anyone else? Lunar eclipse coming soon... maybe more drama in the mix. Im ready to hear that someone's cancer has come back to them....

  • BB, I've met some pretty underwhelming guys since Cancer boy - But, don't give up! I spent 2 years trying to get over my Aries man. I never thought I would feel again but I did with this stupid Cancer boy - oh well...Nothing from him, btw. I don't think he ever really cared about me and his silence speaks louder than words. I hope everyone has more luck than me..

  • yeah, in the same boat. No word. No love and that's okay. I need to focus on other things for awhile...its gonna take a lot of time to get over this one. He did a job on me big time. Good luck Ocean....

    PP<< lets meet up this next week... work was hectic this past week. Tues and Wed are out for me but any other time is fine...let me know

  • update: Cancer boy IMed me after a month of no communication. He is so confusing but he is seeing multiple women right now. Found that out after we became Facebook friends again. I don't know what he bothered me. I hate him. He's so damned heartless..

  • So sorry Ocean... give him time... sometimes men are like rubberbands. If you let them stretch out for awhile... they bend back... mine is pretty much gone...I agonized over if I should send him a letter or not... I finally decided to send him one and Im sending it to him on his birthday along with a birthday card. I will always recognize his birthday because if it weren't for him... I would still be in a miserable marriage. Keep me updated Ocean... Im wondering if Cancers ever come back.

    Where's PP?

  • BB,

    Where have you been? I'm glad to see that you have decided to send the letter. You never know if you don't take thew chance. Of course people come back. If they didn't then Facebook wouldn't have such a bad rep! lol

  • hmm real quick.. not to drag or offend anyone.. especially my /Cancerian brothers and sisters..

    . as i am of the same birth star....

    i wish to repsond...on the post comment, IF CANCERIANS COME BACK....!!!!

    hmm i am speaking for myself, and my own experiences with people (men ) in my life..

    NOPE.. i didn't come back... relationship / friendship/ never evovled...

    TIME TO MOVE ON.... !!!

  • Hey, I'm back..sort of. I really believe it's officially over as he's dating someone else and even posted a photo of the two of them hanging out. Wow! It amazes me how cold this person is! I IMed him a belated happy b-day and received no response. Even worse - he never wished me a happy birthday the following week. That in itself says alot - he doesn't care about me anymore nor do I believe he ever did. I feel really foolish to even think of him but I can't help it..I've wrestled with the idea of defriending him. It's hard but I try to tell myself that I'm better off.

    BB, I'm glad you sent out the letter - sometimes you have to take risk especially when it involves matters of the heart..Hope you and everyone are doing well..

  • Youretheocean... im going through the exact same things. (my post: extremely sad about cancer man). But starting right now i NEED to force myself to fully move on. Since the breakup i have been doing no contact and for his bday (7/5) i sent him a bday card with a simple bday message but also attached a letter where i explained that it was not a "get back together" letter but instead an "im sorry/thank you" and i explained the reasons, etc. Well to this day the only thing that he has done is accept my facebook friend request since i delete him on 6/8 when we broke up but added him back on last week. But to this day i haven't heard nothing. Granted i told him in the letter that although it would be nice to know his feedback, i know that i prolly won't ever find the answer to my questions/wondering. But like he couldn't even say or even text a simple "Thank You" for the bday card or anything. So i agree with you. They def do not care about us and im also starting to doubt if he ever did. Perhaps this was just all a game for him. My mind has been so withdrawn in depression mode because of him since everything happened but with all of these new insights coming to light, i NEED to try to force myself to move on. Seems like he's doing the same so i will just be an idiot to be stuck here wondering/thinking about him while he's not.

  • I should've known better to back off when i first met him. I recall him telling me how in the past girls that he would dates.. but if he lost interest or anything like that he would just stop talking to them altogether and disappear. Voila! Exactly what he's doing to me. I really hate that during the break up he told me at the end that next time he was in my area (he lives about 1 hr from me his best friend lives here around 10 mins away) that he would call me up so we could hang out. I'm starting to believe that he only said that to come off as Mr. Nice Guy all the way until the end but probably had no intentions of ever doing that.

  • Wow Sag! My b-day is July 5th. I could tell you alot! My Sag girl , and I broke up with her, and mind you, I was with her for 3 and a half years. Loved her , one of the best girls I had in my life.She was the ,''One I lost.'' To another guy , if that . I think to this day, she did that on purpose. It was one of my friends with whom I will never talk to anymore and that is why.She was the best though. I've gone out with alot of Saggitarius women and I can't complain. Gotta love the energy in Sag! I want to help you Sagi , my advice can be pretty honest and pretty cruel. If you want it , just ask. I was in this relationship before. Weird 🙂

  • WaterMan79, thank you very much for your reply and indeed yes i would love to know your insight, especially since you also have his same birthday, lol. I am currently having an inside battle with myself. Ugh, if it wasn't because i know what im going through now i could think i was bipolar for a moment, hehe. At least for the time being i know that it will be healthier to move on in order to do some things for me. Finished what i once started that brings fears and insecurities and doesn't allow me to open up. If you read my post (Extremely Sad about a Cancer Man) and also there is a post called (HansWolfgang: Please, any future here?) where there's a lot of details of basically what has been happening. Right now i just that even if we can't be together in a romantic way, that at least we could be friends but instead it just feels like he may think im just some crazy/stupid girl. Especially since i finally opened up in the letter. Told him what i wanted to so bad for a while but couldn't because i was afraid of my fears and insecurities. Just seems like my letter/me opening up was too late and now he may be like.."oh gosh, she is crazy! Glad i got rid of her" 😞

  • I'm very sorry about that girl choosing your friend. That is pretty low! I can't never do that. If i care about someone, even if we're not together, there should be a "silent line of respect" or at least i believe so. Even if it was to get back at you that shows a lot of her character and persona and makes me wonder to what extend did she actually cared about you then. When this guy and i were breaking up he told me that he doubts he will find another girl that will treat him the way i did. Although i do feel pretty stupid but at the same time i can't help it. I am a very caring person and if i like you and care about you, it'll be shown. I won't mind going out of my way for you, i guess you can say "spoil" you. He would love and even ask for more if i stopped, when i would rub his back, give him massage, etc. But also just other little details. But it just seems that instead it makes him (and previous guys i've dated) take me for granted and always end up with the whole "you're too nice" line.

  • Yeah, my sag, I loved her. She brought the best out of me really.I know, she went right after my friend. That was a dagger in the heart. Anyway, I give Sag's props, they keep us Cancers on the go.

  • I'm a bit curious to know your honest/cruel advice on the situation. At this point, im just for giving up and moving on regarding the sentimental aspect of it. However, should i also erase the hope for a friendship in the future given his obvious silence? Right now i think that i will never cross path with him again, therefore i should just forget that i ever met him.

  • waterman, I have been dating a cancer for 5 months. I live in ny he's in pa. I visit him and family once a week or every 2 week. he wasn't making alot of money and I took us out most of the time. I suggested the places, I drove and opened his world to new experiences and I gave him -and his children- gifts becasue at the time I could afford it (as a sag would do)

    a couple ttiems he said that I am always on the go, and he can't keep up with my expensive taste ( I jsut wanted to sahow him a good time, and myself too, I also told him I can be in dives and have fun, I can have a picnic and go fro walks, we don;t have to go anyhere, but since he is cooped up in a small town with no money, I figured I'd broaden his horizons and show him a whole other existence.

    he had said I never slow down, which is not true, I just wanted him to enjoy good things with me. soemtimes he'd fight about it and make me feel badly, then he'd apologize and say he will jsut enjoy and not argue, he tried hard to enjoy. no one ever did for him anything remotely that I have done for him, including the love and positive support.

    I felt compelled to love him because he said he loved me 3 1/2 weeks into it, and was upset when it took me longer to say it 6 weeks. (I didnt want to feel pressured) when I said it, he was all smiles, and it gave me the greenlight to be as cozy and honest and touchy feely as I felt to be, I couldn't stop tellin ghim how much I adored him.....since I started showing my affection, he has been pushing and pulling me, now he tells me he still has feelings for his ex whom he hurt and feels guilty for it, even though he said she was a mean person, and she started dating someone else a week or 2 after they broke up.

    needless to say my heart is broken. he said he wants to be friends!!! and he loves me but not in lvoe with me. he also told me he is extremely jealous and gets angry and insecure, (sometimes I felt he is rejecting me to make me tell him I want him and NO please I lveo you, but I allowed him to say whay he did and I didnt argue it or press him.

    I could feel him pull away in March adn again in May, and I started to find myself chasing him, which he always said he wanted me to do, but I don't feel comfortable cahsing (i have done my fair share of it in past relationships)

    I wanted to see him on his b'day and I baked him a delicious rumcake which he devoured along wiht his family and I lavished him with gifts that he wanted (again I gave to him all along--he has an entire wawrdrobe becaue of me, which I am glad I could help him with, he needed something good in his life---though he never gave me anythjng till 2 weeks before his b'day he went into a flower field and picked me a beautiful bouquet which I treasure), on his b'day night, I tried to conceal my hurt from him pushing me away and not giving me the attention and love I want and deserve from him, and in response to his neglect of me I said some biting remarks, because he said the friend thing again (oh and he also in the next breath said something sexual to me and flirt, --which I have yet to tell him friends wouldn't say to those things eachother---which makes me think he really doesn't mean the friends thing, it's just part of his immature drama, emotional ineptitude, but why keep saying it?!!) also, he said even though he still thinks of his ex, they won't be together (btw they work together), and he said but he is not ready to trust someone!! he has been cheated on and hurt in the past and he is sorry....I am beginning to think he wants me to be dramatic back and beg him to change his mind and express my undying love for him and explain why we should be together... I am so confused!!

    While huggin him, I pulled away from gently, he could sense my upset feelings, though I tried to conceal it since it was his birthday. when I got in my car he leaned in and kissed me on my lips (again! friends don't do this!!) he told me he'd call me 2 days later and take me out, it has been 2 weeks and I haven't heard from him. (i think he did that because he could feel me pulling away.

    I am beginning to think there is someone else, but he sadi there isn't. his work and kids keep him busy.

    In the beginning and throughout these 5 months he would go a week or 10 days before calling and I would call him or in the most recent weeks, I would get angry and leave him messages that I don't appreciate not being aclled or him picking up and he'd call. However, though I would usually call in the past and he could count on it, this time I have stuck to my guns and not dialed, I am angry and hurt and feel used, but I want his love.

    Is it best to not bother and see if he comes to me? and if he calls then what do is say?

    he also seesm to call me when he is in a bad place and I lift him up.

    I am in need of help with this, any ideas Waterman? I would appreciate your sage advice.

  • oh yes, I am a virgo, he is a cancer (and he is 10 years younger than me) no fretting one of his baby's mothers was 15 eyars older than him. and I am youthful in looks and spirit and FUN!

  • one more thing. I don't cheat in relationships. I wear my heart on my sleeve and I am loving and giving and understanding womanly toward him in every way. he tells me I am such a nice person. He can hardly believe I am real.

    (I know that he is soooo not used to someone like me).


    For Kmuse, Hi 🙂

    i read your posts.. WOWOWOW

    You're post is packed full of emotions wow such entense heart / love feelings for your cancer man...just like a roller coaster ride ...not knowing when the next turns comes...

    DearKmuse, after i read about your situation...

    I felt drawn to your post and anted to offer something positive, sometimes words carry a different meaning... but nonetheless i hope my words brings you some peace and comfort --

    immediatly, my mind was saying counciling ...HAVE YOU CONSIDERED IT???

    You desire for this relationship to workout, i can feel you type with love and compassion for this cancer man, he sounds like he wants (YOU) and wants this realationship to blossom..

    but something, or someone, is keeping him at a distance.... !!!

    My Dear, you have homework, you need to dig deeper into his subconscious soul....

    there is something, that he is not being honest about... might be trivel ,but still a block, holding him back.....

    once you tap into his psychi maybe you can START from there.. and see if he is trusting enough to allow you in..

    i hope it works out, for the both of you,and if it doesn't allow him room to find himself -- maybe that is all he needs... time to re discover who he is..!!!

    wishing you peace light and love

    mille 🙂


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