Cancer man, and he is confusing



  • Well girls I am about to go home - so I will check in when I get there....... Talk soon

    xx



  • hahahahah! aqua-i still get like that! that is part of it, uncontrollable reactions! best kisser ever and fantabulous lover!!! i will be all alone in his bed tonight too!

    girl-if you do it just right you won't get rejected! sly grin Not sure if you know or not but i am kind of the resident Bi*ch here. go back to page 70 (i think) and read my tutorial that the girls asked for. this was BEFORE i read the book! only 1/2 way through it.

    speaking of that kiss technique-the first time me & J kissed his knees literally buckled LoL-mine would've too except i'm 5'5 and he is 6'2 and was holding me! o.k., i gotta hush now or i'm gonna be really missing him tonight.

    are his eyes blue? we found at one point here 6 of us all had a blue eyed cancerian guy who's name started with a J- freaky huh?

    HIP-anything Harley is way cool! our favorite bar is a biker bar! well third shift is here so i'll catch up later girlies.



  • HIP- Ok, so, when you were together, you wanted to break up all the time and he wanted to stay together. He still wants to stay together but, you were flipping out when your relationship was more intense. He gave you the break up because thats what you wanted. He's taking small steps with you, he's giving you your space that you pushed for. He's not wanting you out of his life. He still loves you. He doesn't want to repeat the painfulness of your relationship past. You need to learn to relax, slow down learn about him and don't take what he does soo personally, it's not all about you. have a life apart from him so that you can grow into who you can be, which is not based on having a relationship. Men can't read our minds or else they would be calling us everyday. they just don't do that. Yeah, Cancers will go a long time without verbal contact but, you need to want to make a mental connection with him. The guy loves you! and your mental anguish is going to be your undoing. STOP OVER THINKING EVERYTHING HE DOES!!! Now, get a hobby like biking, running, expel some of that energy! Let the happiness that you got from the 2days, carry you through until the next time you meet, your rushing through life, it will be over sooner then you know!! Choose to be happy, work on it!

    Aquagrrl82- I think your fighting a losing battle against chemistry. I know your a nice girl and you would hate if things were reversed but, Long distance relationships don't work esp. when your young. Women complain all the time that their guys don't spend enough time with them and with distance, how can it? I don't recommend office romances because if things don't work out, it can get awkward but, I have seen MANY that have worked out but, make sure that you date him at least 90days before you give up the panties.I wouldn't want you to find out that you were just an office conquest. If he's just trying to get you in bed, he will reveal this during that 90 days. Don't rush but, your fighting it, just makes you more miserable. and all the "what ifs" will be answered.

    CC- Keys mean he TRUST YOU!!! that's like being invited into his shell! He's also telling you that there are no other women in his life. Next thing is if you start leaving things there and he gives you a little spot for them, he's wanting you there. Good to go slow with the little ones. I don't think Lawrence would leave me a key and an alarm code unless he loses his mind! he knows that when he'd be gone for awhile, I'd be in the jacuzzi bathtub, stereo on and candles burning or laying on the couch watching the big screen! or making a mess in his kitchen, baking.His stove smells and looks like no ones cooked in it, ever!! He's gone for a week, to visit his family in Cleveland Ohio. He gets back the day before his birthday. Even though he and I are a couple, I will be surprised if I hear from him while he's gone. Cancer way! I'll be texting him when I want,Beoch way!! he did leave me some work to do, he could have emailed it to me but, he printed it out and brought it to me. His excuse to come spend the afternoon with me. I went to bed at 7AM after watching horror movies with my daughter. I had texted him "ga nite" at that time. He text me a 1130 asking if he can bring the papers by. He comes over wearing a Sacramento Kings hat, my hometown!! and he spent the afternoon with me and it's 102 here in Las Vegas NV, not exactly cuddling weather!! After he left he sent me a text ask me if I had a nice time. I texted yes. he said he wanted to keep me happy. I was like "Aww, how sweet." he text back "or selfish!" lol He wants to keep me in his life.

    AntBeetoo- I read that your going to get certified to be able to go to Iraq. Take lots of lotion! I live in a desert and its not as bad as Iraq but the heat pulls all the moisture out of you. I don't have the sand to deal with, here. American Troops are pulling out slowly and I know that they are going to need companies to train them to rebuild. Hopefully you won't be over there for too long. I think tours have been a year. your Cancer can't call because of situation, most of ours just don't cause they don't do idle chit chat. Lawrence and I have our separate groups and we belong to a group together. We actually met because of a common interest group! Now, when I go out with my female friends, THATS when he wants to pick me up after he gets off work, ( 11pm) I get in the car and say to him "Hey baby, want a date?" He loves to rub my calf and thigh. he makes this noise and I know what it means, it's like he calls me yummy! It is such a turn on for him, the kink!! I don't usually tell him "No" I got plans because our work schedules already make it tough to get together and by the time we can, I'm ready to throw him down and get mine! I've apologized for treating him as a sex object before. He has never been told that he's sexy esp. since he is such a serious person. He said that compliments will get me everything. Last texting, he said he wants to keep me happy to keep me coming back for more. He's back home for a week and I probably won't hear from him but, the silences don't bother me, I text him when I want to! I don't worry that he's going to go into a mood over what I text, He's done that before and yeah, i've had to explain and use examples to get him to talk to me again but, it's been 3 months since I've had to do any of that. He's not afraid of me loving him someday, anymore. Oh yeah, I'm not IN love with him, YET! I like him and I love spending time with him and I'm learning him, as he's learning me and to trust me. It's a slow process for me to fall in love.



  • 2knowme - I read your post and it is true... I am thinking all about me - I need to figure out just what is going on with me... I need to think about him for a change.. I am rushing through life and looking for the end before the beginning has happened... I need to sleep on what you have said and try to come up with the answers.. Thank you so much for pointing out what is clearly so obvious when I take a step back... You have made me do that....

    I love this place - you girls ROCK!!



  • So, I did a tarot reading on my situation, and it's as I feared. He's basically holding back because he likes where he is at the moment, and doesn't want to be chained down by responsibility. He doesn't have a plan of action at all, he intends to just sit back and let things happen. There is also a sense of fear from past rejections in there, but it wasn't a very prominent card, so the other stuff is more important.

    It just really pisses me off, that you'll lead someone on but not actually have a goal in mind when you do so. So it's either all an ego boost, or he's keeping me floating around just incase he changes his mind. I like, want to barf all over my computer. I've lost lots of respect for him. This is one of my biggest hates, when people lead others on for no reason. I just have no respect for anyone who does that.

    So, for all of you who care confused about intentions, tarot caaard!

    hiprincess- I think you are in a situation where you can actually ask him 'whats going on?' and if he tries to dodge the question, harass him till you get a straight answer. You deserve it and it'll iron things out between the two of you.

    aquagrrl182 - im starting to think ego boosts has a lot to do with it. At first, he seemed so kind hearted that i could never imagine him doing that to anyone. I wrote it off entirely. Now I see that that was a little naive of me. It doesnt matter how nice of a person a guy is, when it comes to this stuff their male ego's take over their brains. ive been led on by other very nice guys, who I could not imagine would do that to be because of how sweet they usually were.



  • Okay this forum is getting annoying. All of my posts are outdated because I cant see how many posts are actually there before I respond!!



  • I guess this is make or break month for Cancers... They're gonna flush out past relationship (thank god- getting rid of stupid exes!) but I guess that could mean testing the foundation on which your relationship is based. Cancers are ready to see the past for what it is and move on. They're taking only what they feel are thier essentials.

    Unfortunetly I don't think my Cancer's plans will include me as of our meetup on Tuesday (my horoscope did say that I would have feelings of dissapointment...weird huh??). Last time we had met two months ago, it was so magical. It was perfect and our conversation was full of promise for the future. I did need something to send me forward as I felt I was stuck in limbo waiting for his next move. So I did stop by his restaurant on a whim- hair was up in a bun, very little make-up, and bloated from my period lol. I meant business. Basically asking to give me something to break the tie. He wasn't looking his best either- looking like he hasn't seen any sun, wearing his glasses- which I've never seen him in, and just not being as attractive as I know he can be.

    Now I'm a little torn. As I mentioned I brought him a flyer to come to the dance competition (that happens to be 3 mintues away from his work). I know if he texts me he can't come I'm not going to text or call him what-so-ever. But I do dance only Thursday (yet I did suggest he come anytime during the weekend), but I'm torn if on Thursday morning I should tell him specific times I'm dancing that day, as reading my Astrosync- it said it was a perfect time to make plans! So if I don't hear from him during next week, maybe I should text him my specific times and leave it at that? Or just totally make him contact me about it? He may test me to see how I act on Thursday, if I contact him or not. How I act and respond... He'll be watching and observing.... I know if he declines I won't contact him back. Knowing him, it'll be a very polite and considerate text. It's going to be hard not to chew him out if it's about work 'cause he's only 3 f-ing minutes away from the comp!!

    There is a very intense eclipse happening on the 7th- in a full moon- bringing endings.



  • They're not that confusing actually. When he's drunk he let's down his guard. U kno with alcohol it's like u don't care about anything live in the moment? But when he's consience n sober his decisions r very careful. Cancers do not let anyone in unless they really take to u. Even if they like u they are very gaurded. If u want him befriend him u need to earn his trust.



  • Karma, Please don't wait on this man. If he calls or don't call, if he shows up or don't show up, IT'S ON HIM. This guy has a messed up character if he is saying he is gonna come or call and he doesn't. Please realize that the world doesn't revolve around him, and you probably need to tell him that too!

    Ladies please, don't make you whole world about these men who cannot keep their word. The first time he doesn't keep his word and doesn't call when he say he would, should tell you how the rest of the relationship might go.

    Karma I suggest you tell him and text him the exact time and location of your dance, then leave it alone. If he shows up good, he is a keeper, if not then kick him to the curb.

    Please don't set yourself up for disappointment



  • So Ok ladies - after sleeping on these truly insightful and helpful words from 2knowme, I have come to a couple of decisions..... 1. I am going to stop flipping out and become more secure within myself - and let him have his time too and not be such a freak when he wants it and break up with/get angry with him again and freak out again... 2. I am going to try and be more feminine - I grew up with a brother and have always gotten along better with males so I think my tom-boyish ways might need a little re-think.... So looking after myself and having a life away from him and with him is the plan from now on....



  • 2knowme - like HP said you hit it dead on.......if i just chill out and let be whatever there is to come i'd be a little content on dealing with the situation as it is now.

    there is chemistry between us - but the truth is we're co-workers who have escalated to a friendship which quickly went to the flirting...like he said "lets see how this thing rides out & see what it wants".

    i'll jus go with the flow - since we're realy just getting to know one another i have no reason to complain......except that i am thinking of him all the time....

    i really got it bad for him, but - since i don't have the nerve to initiate anything i suppose if i take a deep breath and continue building a freindship only time will tell and you're right my "what if's" shall be answered.

    i guess i'm just anxious to see what's going to happen - IF ANYTHING AT ALL.

    i love this forum - it's the greatest!!!!

    MariaRia - ego boosts are essential to men (any man) - doesn't matter if they have a significant other, they love that they can make a girl swoon; since we're so attracted to these cancer men & we pretty much have a good idea how they operate their ego's always need to be fed. this is where i question things - how can we be sure of the real thing?? is it an ego boost for them & they get a kick out of how we act around them or are they feeling us as well - it's SO HARD TO TELL!!! my cancer man - i always thought he's a genuine guy, nice guy - sweet down to earth but now i find myself questioning his stance - what's it all about?



  • Hi Everyone.....

    Just back from the IL DIVO Concert in Atlanta and it was fantastic! Even my daughter went on and on about them which made me feel really good becasue I wasn't sure if she would totally love them but she did and I heard her talking to her husband after we got back to her house when I was going to bed. She told him many of the songs they sang and raved some more. Fantastic night!

    I have not heard from my ex. Didn't expect to but I knew you all want an update. His b'day was yesterday and I did send him an email that early morning. I told him Happy Birthday and that I attached the 'stop smoking' ebook Jenna so graciously offered. Then I told him good luck and no hard feelings. I meant all of it, of course.

    I'm doing better than the past couple of days. However, I finally lost a couple of tears Tuesday evening just feeling melancholy, I suppose. He is in VA visiting family for the 4th and celebrating his birthday, too, I suppose. That's about all I have, girls.

    Sorry I have no advice at the moment...haven't caught up and may not be able to. Heading for the mountains some time tomorrow...early in the day. I just got back in an hour ago from the other IL Divo trip and now back out. Back Sunday evening but my laptop will be with me. That means...no one get into any trouble while I'm gone! I may not show my face often but I check in frequently!!

    So, behave kids...

    Mom

    I was a week ago today about an hour from now when I cut him lose...though he forced me to do it.



  • Glad to know you are ok Cappy2!!! We have missed you... It is fantastic that your daughter enjoyed the concert to!! Keep going the way you are and I know you will make it! You are a wonderful person with so much to offer and I know the right guy will come along for you 🙂

    This no flipping out thing is going to be harder than I thought - I am already over thinking everything..... I have to make a conscious effort not to think about him - anyone got any advice how to do that when at work and have nothing to do?



  • HIP-i feel you girl!!! as per our FB email, and us both being hurt and all...once i realized that i had fallen in love and not infatuation with J, i ALSO HAD TO LEARN to turn the negativity OFF- it was hard to do, VERY HARD, and i have to honestly say that just in the last couple three weeks have i begun to stop it and let myself feel 100% secure.

    i made that decision too based on a comment he made to me; it was back in february when my friend (now ex friend) told him that i was in love with him. i was denying that to him. he kept telling me that he didn't believe me when i told him i wasn't in love-kinda arrogant & made me a tad ill-but anyway, i asked if he'd run IF i did say i was in love and he tells me this "no, i wouldn't run. i trust you & i respect you. you need to quit trying to be Little Miss Tough A$$ all the time. i will never hurt you on purpose and i want you to learn to trust me" i stopped and thought about the title of Miss T.A. and it dawned on me that all these years that is exactly what i had been doing and that was also one of the main reasons i had been unsuccessful in finding love. i refused to trust any man and would come up with tons of excuses, not reasons, excuses to push them away. now this did help in ways too because i wasn't looking to EVER get into a serious relationship-not for the rest of my life. i would never let a man see me vulnerable by his actions and i figured out with J that by not fronting & being tough all the time was one thing that DID endear me to him. another time we were talking about how we were when we were angry about anything and i told him that when i am p.o.'d and i begin to cry that i don't want to be comforted or hugged or anything of the sort. that when i am at that point i act, don't care what i do or say until later; he said "if i ever see you crying for any reason what so ever, i WILL take you in my arms and hold you until you stop" you know, that one statement flabbergasted me; i remember looking at him and thinking, here is a man who has a feeling heart.

    HIP-YOU CAN DO THIS!! it is hard, but girl, i know you have it in you. plus you are in love with him and will consider letting your heart and not your head make decisions WORTHY!.

    MARIA-i am with you about leading someone to think anything s u c k s. to me that is a coward! and i myself would rather be told the cold, ugly, truth than to go on wondering about something or even worse be LAST to know. i always try to give another person the respect that they deserve by being honest about my feelings or lack of them. i'd say you're right, he is boosting his ego by keeping you in the shape he's got you in. it is so hard too, to walk away when the attraction is so strong! seeing them at work doesn't help either. my last heart break 13 yrs ago was a 4 yr dating/engagement gone bad-that is hard! we didn't work together when we started dating though.

    Karma & toknow me-i want to reply to y'all too but duty is calling at the moment so i'll get back!



  • We need a new page!!!



  • Thanks for your support CC.... I think I can do it too!! I think the biggest thing will be NOT talking negative feelings of mine to my friends - I will come here and get it out in a non-biased environment..... My friends see me getting hurt and upset and they think its not worth it - but they don't see what happens when we are good - they only hear the bad.... Which is unfair on him... I need to look at his side of things too.... N now knowing all of this Cancer information its going to really help me....

    I have been kinda thinking that this is almost a forum for support for allowing ourselves to be treated like p00 but now am starting to see it as a real venting place for all the bad and all the good that comes with being with a Cancer......



  • LOL - Little Miss TA - that could be used on me!!!!!! I think that is going to be the hardest thing for me to change - I have been doing that for my whole 32 years on this planet!!! I really don't know any other way to be - but I will try........



  • Mom!! i forgot the concert and wondered where you got off to!!! don't know if you watch Y&R but Il Divo was on there. please email me when you can, o.k.? remember karma's saying about the tears-no rain, no rainbows. have fun at the mountain house!!!!!!!!!!!!

    HIP are you sure you're not a Virgo?!?!?! tee hee...you sound like me! and again-i too had to stop with my friends! 1st they thought i was obsessed-er than i am with him and when he was a playa i would get so called warnings. but back then i was a playa myself 😉 i am wondering what my deal is right now...for some reason i am not missing him or thinking about him as much? i hope i don't do one of the now that i have him i don't want him-NA! i love that man & we know it! i betcha this is the 1st time since march he hasn't been in my every nook & cranny! boy i tell you, even though he wasn't home with me last night-that man called me 3 times and believe it or not I WAS THE ONE to finally end the conversation for the night. have you talked to gary today/yesterday? as for your work question, do what i do every shift-read and type here!! oh and the tomboy in you?! i am kind of a tomboy, cuss like a sailor and just an all around little smart a$$ and he likes that, has gary ever said something to you to make you think he doesn't like it? now i do remind him of the woman in me, with my matching undergarments. i have two new sets that he hasn't seen yet!! i want to show him soon!

    karma- i agree with whomever said it...tell him your show times and then if he does not show or acknowledge try and walk or rather dance out of his life! hope you don't have to, but if so, remember that it is Independence Day weekend....oh and i'm finally reading the beotch book. are you gonna call him, go see him or text him about the time?

    2knowme-i have left things off and on, but today, i went ahead and made sure to bring all my things with me. he has offered to give me a dresser drawer already, but i never even commented when he did. that's been at least a month ago. that is/was the Bi%ch in me that time. thought it'd work in my favor not to let him know that it tickled me to death! maybe i can say now that it did work. don't know if you remember, but that weekend i was FLIPPED out thinking he was with that girl mom so lovingly names "horsy ho" and i went by and got my pillow and junk that was there. i did have travel sized container's of shampoo & conditioner, bodywash etc., in his shower and i even took them. he told me a couple days later that he couldn't figure out what was SO different and why his shower seemed so much larger to him then it hit him, my little bitty bottles were gone from there. i loved that he noticed something so insignificant-well to me anyway...i've yet to put them back. i did leave my bath puff thingy today and made sure my perfume got blown on his sheets by the ceiling fan evil grin

    wonder where jenna, kmjessica, taureengirl have been?! well, someone write something back as my work has slowed WWAAYY down! holiday is being recognized tomorrow, sooo. at least i only work 1/2 shift (if that) tomorrow night



  • Nah CC - I am all Capricorn!!!! LMAO!!!!!! Still haven't heard from G - I feel 2knowme is right and he does want me in his life - but I think baby steps right now... Cause of all the past we share..... And I am on here reading, waiting reading 🙂 LOL 3 phone calls!!! That's impressive - I have never gotten that!!!! JEALOUS now 😉

    Things are really going well for you guys - at least that is one of us!!! Nah I am ok with it all - I just have to step back and learn to trust him!!!!!!!!!!! He hasn't slept with anyone since we broke up - I think that says a LOT - n every chance he gets he just wants to hang out with me - but I am a busy girl now and he can't just have me when he wants to - he now has to fit it in with my plans 🙂



  • HIP-i knew you were just kidding about not being glad for me! i do worry sometimes that the girls that come here will dislike me for posting mostly good stuff. i do it so we can all realize that some of these men are salvagable! and there is hope!! i do not intend to brag or anything like that!

    so, you are at work now? it is so confusing the time. i am going to paint my fingernails and toenails here in a minute....sad to have to be at work and things so slow i play beauty shop! it will pass this next 1 1/2 hrs....

    i haven't any idea where j is now. a friend of his lost his battle with the disease cancer and he was to go to visitation tonight. my trusty bartender friend will more than likely text me about him if he goes in. i did ask her if he was there 3 hrs ago and he wasn't. tonight is a real busy night there, pool league, dart competition, and even though gambling isn't legal here there is a big poker game every thursday night. they play with chips but somehow, some way the winner's chips end up turning magically into cash ; = )

    aquagirl-are you working now too?


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