Cancer man, and he is confusing



  • karma- i may be late on this but i will be thinking on a mind ninja to help...



  • ok - dilema.......i need help, advice, input....something please.

    my cancer and i have recently been flirting - i can't help it...everytime i try and put up a front that i couldn't be bothered,,,,here he comes.

    ladies - he has a long distance GF (keep in mind).....

    tonight at work...both worked late; he comes over to my cubicle and massages my shoulders & neck (sensual) and tickles me (very ticklish, can't help that)...hands on my back & OMG - I WAS LIKE A DEER IN HEADLIGHTS.....totally turned on (sorry).

    then i stood from my chair and he just looked straight into my eyes as our bodies were tight together & i turned and said i had to leave......

    i don't know if he's messing with me because he knows i like him, or if he sort of feels a little something as well. i'm a "good girl" and don't want to mess with anyones man - but i feel guilty and i feel like he has the wrong impression of me - i want respect - i wanna turn things around but don't know how to take it back to a friendship without the flirting (eventhough i will miss that).

    could he feel something for me - or is it that he knows he can have me and when he's bored he plays....he knows me and he's VERY observant & god knows i don't have a poker face - whatever i'm feeling is written all over me.

    help me please - so confused.................



  • hey aqua: first just breath!!!! yes, heavy breaths if you must LoL. let me re-read your situation so i can add my 2cents. isn't this place great cuz you can say anything and no one judges you?! you can be as insane as you gotta be, i will be back



  • CC - that is the best news I have had all week!!!!!! Key is a MASSIVE step forward in your relationship and shows he trusts you enough with his home..... I am sooooo happy that you two are moving forward - even if it is slowly 🙂 N a little bit sideways.... LOL Babies are difficult for anyone's relationship and can really prove to have issues - but if handled correctly you will sail through it 🙂 And I am sure you will get along great with them!!!!!!!

    Well I will catch you up on me - I stayed at Gary's on Sunday and Monday night, he called me on Tuesday night but I was out to dinner with friends and housemates (he sounded a bit cut tho) and we had a good chat on the phone then.... Since Tuesday I have heard nothing - it is now Thursday afternoon my time..... Not going to push it as I know what will happen if I do - but I still can't help but think I am setting myself up for disappointment again especially since I have not heard anything in a day and a half - but then it is only one day not even 2 yet..... SO what do you think???



  • this is so frustrating - this forum is taking forever to update - and i really need advice 😞



  • You might have to change the page manually cause my post has disappeared but no new page created...... Argh!!



  • Aqua - I wish I had some helpful advice for you - but I too am in the same boat..... Everytime I am moving on with my life here he comes to throw me into a spin again.... I am unsure why or what it is but it is sooooo confusing it is unbelievable!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I think my next move it to resist when he tries to come back - unless he is serious as I can't handle the constant up's n downs... Although I have not done too well on that this week......

    Maybe this is what keeps them amused the constant drama of it all........



  • AQUA: have you two ever kissed or is tonight a prime example of your contact. o.k., i sound harsh here BUT-that girlfriend is miles away, are they engaged? if so, i'd step back, if not take him if you want him. nice girls can and do things like this! there is a reason why there are stages, from aquaintence to wife! plus if you don't reach out for yourself you may just let a good thing pass you by. i don't mean foolishly and relentlessly pursue him, but i'd get him in an appropriate place, not the cubicle and kiss the living daylights out of him. THEN see what happens. Good Luck and no offense anyone out there!

    HIP-so wild it is tomorrow at your place!! tomorrow does come LoL! you should see my black eye! eyeshadow will take care of it for the most part. it sounds to me as if you are on a great path yourself-missy! and who knows maybe after you are off of work he will call you or since he did call you last i'd go for it and either call or text. i used to be sneaky at times, i would call Jeremy and only let it ring 2 or 3 times, and he usually called me back every time. not right away but within a few hours. good job too by your being out and about when you did speak! I will be spending tonight alone at his house, he worked in that other town today and will tomorrow. he insisted i stay there. i am nervous for some stupid reason! maybe he just wants to see how he feels and how i feel for me to be there, kind of like if we were living together or married or something!?! too bad he has no internet or we could drink together we will both be getting home about the same time! his kiddies are 8 & 10, mine is 24. i am working on a new group of photo's for FB. Met a new chick last night who had her fiance taking pictures of a bunch of us and she is supposed to post them and one of us invite the other, so hopefully in a day or so they will be on. lots of jeremy. UGH! 50 more minutes!!! i will watch for a reply here.

    OH, am i awful for the advice i passed out above.



  • hiprincess - i say to myself every morning before work "stand my ground" if he comes near act cordial but don't play into it.......never EVER works....

    i don't get it, i can't resist the temptation - it's sooooooooooo horrible. why is he doing this - why are they like this.......like u said maybe all the drama - but my god.....

    i hate that we can't read them but they seem to have us dead on...why is that? how can one ever be so sure what they really want. it's so so confusing - i hate that i got caught up in this - it was fine when we were just friends....the casual hey how ya doin...now it's hey let me mess with you're head and now tell me how you're doin....grrrr



  • aqua girl-one more thing! buy the book Why Men Love Bit#hes! ;+)



  • CC - no not horrible for the advice - prob something I would say too if I were not in this head space!!! hahahahahahahah!!!!! And I did text yesterday saying that I missed his cuddles the night before (Tuesday night) - NO RESPONSE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ah that is why I fear this is just leading to me giving him what he wants again and me still not getting what I want.... I will see if he calls tonight - but I am going to the shops to look for a present for him..... My best friend burnt a hole in one of his going out shirts (cause he annoyed her - tee hee) so I am going to get him a new shirt for his bday...... And some kind of Harley Davidson thing..... Clearly not a bike - he already has one of those - but some kind of shirt or branded thing..... Ya know....

    Aqua - I say now that I will resist - but when it happens i honestly CAN"T - it is so hard and he knows how i feel - n I am sure he does it on purpose!!!!!! Do you wanna make a pact to resist??? LOL that could help........



  • NEW PAGE PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Girls you know to put the next page number in the URL when having difficulties seeing posts.........



  • cancercan - thank you for your feedback.......

    no they're not engaged, just BF & GF (ugh)...

    we haven't kissed but i think just maybe that might be next & if it is I hope there's a medic on stand-by lol

    there is crazy tension between us, but on the flip side i'm nervous to do anything because how deep is he really in it??? what if it's just a thing (which i couldn't handle) to keep him occupied until he sees his girl - i don't wanna have bad karma....we all know what they say "KARMA'S a B^TCH" lol

    i guess i have to wait and see what happens - he said to me a while back "lets ride this out & see what it wants" still not exactly sure what he meant by that....

    i hope to kiss him i really do, i think it'll be intense - if that ever happens....i just am never to make the first move - i can't...... i let him take the initiative - so we'll see.

    but what was that tonight? to get me all hot & bothered for kicks?

    sorry if this was TMI.....

    I appreciate your feedback 🙂

    xoxo



  • o.k. finally found aqua's post, now i'm not sure of what i said. sounds like maybe you've gotten closer than close? not trying to be nosy i just am unclear exactly. heck, if it were me and the conditions i said were there i'd have to go for it. that's all and i'm sorry if i sound like an uncaring sumthin' sumthin'. she doesn't mean that much or he'd not be touching you the way it sounds like he is. maybe he's pondscum? look out for yourself above all else.



  • One for our guy Waterman-how do you view my cancer giving me his extra housekey? cancer guy or not on this one! hope you feel better i had my wisdom teeth out years ago it was awful!



  • i just looked that book up on-line, i am so buying it tomorrow (pay day) lol - thanks CancerCan



  • CancerCan - no, no - aside from the touching on the back and neck and shoulders (in a very sensual way) nothing else happened but it was crazy - i never really felt something just from that alone. he know's what he's doing - i guess... especially when we were face to face bodies to bodies & held me for a second as he just gazed in my eyes (palpitations!!!!!!!!)...

    i have to wait and see how things go - i just wanna so badly kiss him but i can't make that move - i'd like to but what if he rejects (OMG I'D DIE).....not really but you know what i'm saying.

    and that's another thing does he really care about her? and is he pondscum? i don't really know that's why i'm so bent on trying to keep my cool with him but he makes it so damn hard.

    we'll have our days of flirting and then there's days where nothing seems to be sooo interesting.

    sorry - i know i'm crazy and over analyzing it...



  • as far as you getting a house key - that's awesome and it sure says a lot coming from a cancerian.....good for you! hey - you got a key, maybe i'll get a kiss....lol

    i take it as he trusts you and he's willing to go that extra step with you - like you said it all happens in steps....



  • hi princess - we should make a pact - not sure if it'll work because we're so quick to give in - but we can try.

    and if they do - do this on purpose does it mean we're just boosting their ego and when they had a fix they're as good as new until they need another lift??? or are they feeling us on a level we feel for them but are making things more tense & interesting????



  • Aqua I have this horrible feeling at the moment that it is all an ego boost - I don't know how true that is but it is feeling that way to me right now....... And the "until they need another lift" really rings true to me as I saw him a month ago and stayed the night then nothing then these last 2 nights..... Maybe it is me moving back into his "safe haven" but i am so afraid that I am not maybe I am over reacting (again)........

    CC - my key was always mine when we were together - I tried to give it back a couple of times when he hurt me - but he would NEVER take it...... Even his close friend who used to have the spare used to say to me that I had HIS key!!!!!! When we finally did break up - that is what he asked for IMMEDIATELY!!!!!! So it is a HUGE step for him.... I only wished I knew what it meant when I got it - and not to have behaved so stupidly during our relationship.... I wanted to break up over EVERYTHING!!!! and I mean everything!!!!!! But he was the patient one - maybe this is just payback for hurting him like that too.......

    Man I hate game playing!!!!!! I just wanna know where I stand and for him not to act like he still loves me if he doesn't....... Or is not prepared to give me what I want..... and believe me he knows what I want...... LOL....


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