Cancer man, and he is confusing

  • mariaria: I have NOT trown in the towel at all... i'm just patiently waiting... hoping... wishing and praying... I want my cancer man back with all the good and all the bad... he's my heart!!!

    I hope that we find our way back to one another very soon.

  • mariaria: I have NOT trown in the towel at all... i'm just patiently waiting... hoping... wishing and praying... I want my cancer man back with all the good and all the bad... he's my heart!!!

    I hope that we find our way back to one another very soon.


  • Gypsy -- You Wrote:

    Like they say, if a man wants you, he will move heaven and earth to get to you. If he isn't trying, "he's just not that into you." Sorry

    I wish I had been reminded of this about five wated months ago....

  • There has been some truly insightful thoughts being shared here.... It is great...

    Thanks to Waterman for being our "token" cancer male on the forum - it is great to have a man's perspective in this forum!!!!

    Cappy - I will respond to you via facebook - I feel for you and you seem to be going through the same feelings that I went through when G and I broke up..... Blaming myself....

    I have spent the last 2 out of 3 nights with my man and we spoke yesterday too... He seems to be going sideways at trying to get us back together.. But I am now unsure if he misses ME or just that warm fuzzy feeling you have when you have a girlfriend....... I don't want to get my hopes up as I know we didn't work the first time - but he seems to be trying this time - which is more than I can say for the last time.... Which isn't the first time.... If that makes sense... We have been friends for 9 years and then had a 9 month relationship broke up, got back together for a couple of weeks then I broke it off with him at Easter time..... I have been out of the picture since then until 2 weeks ago when I went to see him..... This time I am making him do the chasing as I am still reeling from all of the hurt I have experienced over the last few months..... And he seems to be doing it...... I am still quite scared of being hurt again by him and don't want to settle for a once a month thing.... So maybe it is quitting time for me - I don't really know what to do....

    He said on the phone last night that I didn't have to get him a birthday present n that he didn't even know when my birthday was..... I said to him - don't you remember buying me that bag (Guess handbag) n he said yeah of course n then I said my birthdate and he was all oh yeah that's right..... So I don't know what any of that means and if we are getting back together or not...

    I am just trying to roll with it atm n see what happens......

  • yea Cancer men have a fatal attraction for Fire Sign women. Well now it's my turn ladies to say, "I GIVE UP!!!!!!!". I went to visit my Cancer at work today(his resturant). I wasn't really dressed all that cute er anything, I just decided I should drop by and give him a flyer about my dance competition next weekend cuz it's the last local one until next year. Plus it's 3 mintues away from his work! It last for 3 days, although I only dance on Thursday, I encouraged him to come anytime he could because it would be great for him to see. He seemed pretty excited but still needed to see his schedule. I swe@r, if he 'can't make time' to stop by I will rip him a new one. He's only gonna be 3 minutes away and the competition is Thursday, Friday, and Saturday from 7am to 11pm, so there is no excuse to not find time to at least stop by for a little bit. I really can't bear another text about how things are crazy at work and he can't see me. Now the reason I said I give up is because #1: He's barely been working on his house, because he's been training in 2 new managers at work #2: He may go down to Flordia in November for 6 months to open a new branch of the restaurant, because he seems to be the only manager that can do it. SO we all know what that means, unless that changes- he won't be persuing a relationship with me..... FACK! I'm trying to decide if I should tell him off if he doesn't come next weekend or just ignore him altogether. Advice? I really don't think he's going to come. He's in this work bubble. Although he really owes it to me, which I did mention today. I've been amazing despite the circumstances, I deserve the world. If he doesn't come, what could I say to just mind ninja him?

  • Hey Beautiful ladies 🙂

    It's so awesome to see everyone from all over the world being there for each other.

    Cappy 2 it's great that you are doing well. Now that I am out of that mess I never want to go back. I met someone else and I know you will too and don't worry it won't be someone you have to settle for (In the beginning when I ended things that's what I was afraid of) You will find someone who will make you feel like you are floating in the sky and cause your friends to catch you staring off into space with the most ridiculous smile ever!

    Also Waterman I am not mad at your comments you made to me. I like reading your opinion. If I didn't like you and wanted you to go away I'd ask you to be in a relationship with me - hehe just teasing you 😉

    I know there are two sides to every story.

    I'm not an angel and neither was my cancer guy.

    The bottom line of it all is that I want to spend my time being happy and living life to the fullest and not being sad and dreaming of something better so I felt I had no choice but to leave him.

    This turned out to be the right decision for me. I think everyone knows somewhere inside of them what is best and for some it is to hold on but for some it's just time to let go.

    I didn't want to wake up and realize life had passed me by and I didn't enjoy it.

    Lots of love and best wishes to everyone 🙂


  • Karma, you've done enough. If he doesn't come, then thats on him. You have done your part! Please don't chase this man, he knows you want him to be there. If I were you, I'd just play if off saying, "Hey, if you're gonna be busy, then let me know." That way, you won't be disappointed if he doesn't show up.

    Then if he doesn't show up, just be cool, and the next day when he calls just politely tell him that you're done with him for good and hang up the phone.

    Remember let him call first if he doesn't show up!!! Just be patient about things, don't be too quick to snap at him. IF HE DOESN'T SHOW UP, WAIT AND LET HIM CALL TO APOLOGIZE, THEN BANG!!!!! HIT HIM WITH A GUT PUNCH AND SAY POLITELY, "IM DONE" (click) hang up phone! LOL...I am so evil! But thats the Sagittarius in me!

  • It's so hard being involved with a Cancer Man. I feel that he just isn't emotionally mature enough to make a decision, let alone a commitment. It seems like he is perfectly happy with me making all the moves, ie: phone calls, airline trips, e-mails, etc.

    I know he is into me, but honestly! Is it an ego trip or something that I have to instigate every single thing in our relationship? I am patient and I am his friend.......but even my far away girlfriends aren't quite as bad as he is. You know, I just thought of something........

    Being very much a Taurus with a strong Cancer Rising.......I am ALWAYS the one that keeps the friendships going........being it my Cancer Man or my far away girlfriends and family. I think that must be the Taurean Woman in me. I'm like the solid post that is always there for everyone. They know I'll always be there for them. They, however, are not there for me unless I reach out to them. Maybe it's my Cancer Rising and I am being the 'mother of the world' to everyone.

    Any thoughts?

    I sure would appreciate some feedback here. LOL

  • hi to all the ladies out there -

    here it goes.........

    i'm making the choice to make myself happy, i hear all the time from people in relationships who aren't happy - now, the truth is one has to be hapy and content with one's self in order to be happy in every other aspect (work, friends, relationship)...

    i've been dealing with a cancer male - we're friends (at work)....i've grown feelings for him, but i know nothing good can come of it. yes, this makes me sad, but i also know i shouldn't set myself up for disappointment.....and that's where it will lead.

    i'd rather be alone & miserable (which i'm not miserable, but - alone - yes!) then to be in a wishing relationship and driving myself crazy over "WHAT IF'S" and "WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN"...

    i feel so stupid of things that i've done in order to get attention from my cancerian.....i crave the attention, but it's not healthy.

    i'm going to stand my ground - us women need to take control....

    WATERMAN - it's true that once a cancer knows he's got you - he will do whatever he feels like - there's no chase no nothing to keep him on his toes.... this is where i made that mistake (god, i wish i could take it all back).

    no longer will i get suckered into his schemes and play the fool....i'm going to take it back down a level to no flirting & just keep it strictly platonic.....this is going to suck but i will drive myself crazy otherwise.

    i genuinely feel something for him, and i'm so scared that he may think now i'm playing games after all the flirting i'm playing hard to get - no, i'm not, i'm just protecting myself from getting knocked down on my face.....

    cancer men are addicting (like ciggs, coffee, etc,,,) no good for

    all the ladies out here - please just respect yourself - don't let any man make you go insane....once you show you're about doing YOU he'll come around if not there's someone else out there who is truly waiting for you.

    like my mother says..."there's an @ss for every seat"

  • Yep, like any man once they know they have you- they feel they have no need to persue you. It was weird with my Cancer though, I had known it was a hard time in his life and my gut instinct had told me I just had this little window to make an impact. Which was true. I realized that it's somewhat of a win-win situation with him next week, if he doesn't come and whether or not he calls or texts to say he can't, I'm just not going to contact him because that'll put me in the power position. He'll be thinking, "Why didn't she call to remind me it was going on", or "Why didn't she get mad at me for not going?". Men aren't stupid, they know when they are in the wrong. I had already said he owes it to me and to contact me if he can't come. Men don't repsond to words, they respond to no contact.

  • spiceoflife: this is my input; i truly believe that if there was nothing there he wouldn't even entertain you in any sense. cancer men are very confusing - however they are also very to the point if they're not interested. since he has you still in his lefe there's a reason for it.

    why don't you sit back and see what happens if you don't confront him first...see how he moves. if you wait you'll know for sure, he'll call & say "hey - what happened" they get very dependent on someone who takes initiative..... let him come for you......

    i don't know if this is what you want to hear - i didn't like hearing it myself but it works.....

    pls keep me posted and share what happens.

  • Karma - you have hit a nerve with me here - the they only want what they can't have attitude!!!!!!!! Every time I try and move on without my Cancer - bang here he comes again!!!!!!! Telling me all sorts of things!!!!

    Way to confusing - I wish he would just make up his mind or leave me alone 🙂 One way or the other would be great right about now!!!!!

    It has been since Feb that we actually first broke up but he keeps dragging it out by telling me he misses me and having me stay over etc....... The mixed signals thing and the "move heaven and earth to be with me if he really wanted to really gets to me.....

  • And then put the whole "he's just not that into you" thing in action and it just gets worse!!!!! Cause at times he is more than into me - but then other times when I am just left to wonder........

    Sorry I forgot that bit.......

    And when will this thread be fixed...... Works for a couple of days then goes back to not making new pages anymore!!!!!

    Steve we need you again 🙂

  • Oh man, I feel you on that one. I wish I could take back some of the attention I showed him...oh well. I just can't understand how you can be 'into' someone and actually be okay with them suffering. It seems like cancer men are very self absorbed. Not that they don't think of other people, because they seem to be very good friends. But when they have an agenda or they're suffering they just react without considering how it affects anyone else. And It's hilarious that WE can't play games but they manipulate us like we don't have feelings. Ugh.

    Did any of your cancers go through this weird phase where they like, would you would be out with him, or maybe he'd sit with you to eat lunch or just come and stand beside you when you're out......and then act like your not there? Like just have moments where he's looking everywhere but at you and not saying anything, even though he JUST sought you out? WTF??

  • Waterman: As a cancer yourself, may I inquire your wisdom as a cancer? Pisces to cancer?

    Anyhews, im involved or rather hoped to be involved with a firemanc cancer, BUT he has been burnt by skanks both in dates, semi long relationship and a disasterous rushed in marriage that went awol before the first 3 days was up, yet she cheated her way to stay married for almost 3 years. She made a major mistake selling off his beloved selfrestored from scratch classic car. They divorced shortly after. Now i feel he drags his feet and i get he is hurt and in pain and all that jazz, but seriously do cancers blame new prospects for past hurts and aches? seriously?

  • I cant believe how much this situation is like mine. My Cancer is so confused. He was badly hurt once and I think he holds onto that. Mine liked to gamble, lie. We have been on and off for 2 years now. I do miss him. I wont contact him. He told me that he did love me then when we broke up he told me he didnt love me and he will never love me and to move on. He is so caught up in his gambling that is all he thinks of. I lent him so much money that I did out of love, his kids adored me, his mum also adored me. I moved in with him did everything for him and he does this to me. Im over it........... he will realise what he has lost and then it will be too late. You cancer guys stink!!!!!

  • Spice- i'm like that with friends too, I'm the one that keeps contact. When I moved to another state, 2 friends that Ive known for 26 years, one keeps in contact with me and the other, she doesn't keep in contact with either of us anymore. SHE didn't move!!

    To the the others. Cancers aren't ALL the same and Cancers aren't for everyone. If you decide what your needs are and what you want in a relationship, THAT's the kind of guy you should be looking for. If it don't fit, don't force it! Cancers and Scorpio's run hot and cold. We are moody and sometimes hard to figure out. Me and my Cancer guy were laying on my bed last night and I was telling him how our signs are similar he asked me how they are different. We can be tactless and even though it takes a lot to get me mad, I can blow your hair back, part it and change the color, when I get mad!! But, it only last a little while. Him, he will just avoid the person.

    Karma, It's time to look for a guy that wants to share your life's adventure's and is there to cheer you on and wants you to cheer him on too. I'm sure if you opened your eyes and took the focus off this guy, you'd see that someone else is interested in you. My guy works 15 hour shifts, 6 days a week, travels to different cities( I call him Superman cause he could be in Santa Barbara 1 day and back here, the next morning) and he still will find time, even if it's late after work, to come spend time with me. I don't even know what his schedule is but, I let him know I desire him. Sometime's he beats me to the punch and sends me a dirty text!. I got jealous( old baggage, from my cheating ex's) over a call that came on his phone around 11ish last night, he thought it might be his daughter, it wasn't. he didn't know who it was. I kind of referred back to the call in the afternoon, it was Walgreen's verifying a prescription he transferred before he left work. (Pharmacist) Man is married to his Job! And I had told him that too, last night, that even if he gets married again, she will just be a mistress! He laughed!! I think he enjoyed that I was jealous cause I don't show much emotion usually. Emotions are embarassing!

    I used to get addicted to Taurus' and not the good 'one woman only' ones either. They are soo darn charming, life of the party and fun!! I had to evaluate what it is I want in a relationship. So far, I have it, took me 2 years! he's not as fun and he definitely not a flirt (thank goodness!) but, we like the same comedy, he's never stood me up, good with money and a great shoulder to cry on when the world is mean or my horomones take me for a spin!! And I trust him.

  • 2knowme...I am the same as you in many respects. cancer and scorpio are both water signs and we seem to really flame each other. My Cancer came at me out of the blue so to speak. We were each others first loves 37 years ago and I have thought of him over the years since and not much else. He came back into my life when I needed help with a job and i thought we were just friends. After all I was married then. I lost my husband last November and have been devistated since. Finally I update my and put I am a recent widow. Soon after that I get an email and guess who? He is over seas and we have exchanged photos and spoke 3 times and he has my heart and I have his. He has been looking for me for 4 years. Now our Cancer men may not agree but they do like a game and they do like the chase and when things start to go a little slow or get a little comfortable then spice it up. Join a new group and send him an invite to it. He will wonder what you are doing there. You have to take the upper hand and when they call even though it kills you say i cant make it tonight. I have plans. I dont like games but they seem to. Play hard to get. Don't be there at their every beck and call. They like a challenge. Give them one.

  • hey y'all-

    i'm catching up from page 123 but wanted to tell you quickly what J gave to me today...a key to his house! and a kiss on the forehead and lips goodbye as he was off to work! he always kisses me before we part ways. not a heated "take me now" kiss just sweet butterfly kiss as i call them. i have even been semi awake and him not know that i am aware of what he's doing early in the morning; he kisses me then too (i'm a 2nd shift worker/he is 1st) the take me now kisses are given at a different time ;+) one morning last week he wasn't even up for work yet; and i don't know why i suddenly became alert enough to realize what he did; he raised up in the bed and leaned over to kiss my temple; kind of like he was relived i was there...he doesn't know i knew when he did that! we have been together since the end of november, so, beginning our 8th month together. to me it seems we have entered into one of those stages of being together and being in tune with each other and we don't even have to talk and be connected. everywhere we go now, everyone views us as a couple, and he is good with that. i am not sure what exactly being given a house key may mean or lead to but after being here with everyone's up's & down's would it be remiss of me to think it is a huge move for him?

    i did NOT go and meet his kids this past sunday, we spent the night of his birthday together and had a great time. as much as i love this man, i myself want to have a bit more time under our belts before we get the babies involved. so, maybe i haven't lost ALL my edge when it comes to him?!?! don't get me wrong, i am positive i will be crazy about them! i know that they could get attached to me and possibly hurt. J has not introduced them to any women he's been with since his divorce almost 4 years ago now....

    well, back to catching up on everyone! oh, i had a car wreck the night before last, i have a black eye and the side of my head is bruised and sore; i fared better than my car! luckily it was only my car, i came in contact with gravel and it spun me. i had to buy another car yesterday!

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