Cancer man, and he is confusing



  • Wow, I have read all the threads from start to finish and I can't believe I am reading so many things in common. I too, am dating a Cancer man for three years now. We have been friends, just chatting for 12 years. We finally decided to meet each other three years ago.

    The first thing that I noticed was the mood swings. Can be on a "high" one minute and on the downward spiral the next. I'm thinking...what the hell...lol....what just happened there? The first thing I would think, its me..what did I do or say? He actually had me convinced it was me. As time has passed I have learned, its not me...its him.

    I agree they are afraid of committment. They promise you the world but when it comes right down to it, they scurry away and prolong it further or let it slide. I do have a hard time trusting because of this. It has gotten to the point where I don't believe. The words and actions don't seem to go hand in hand. I do love him and have given him my heart. I'm afraid of having my heart broken but for some reason, I just hold on. He is a alcoholic, a functioning one and came from a past that I can't relate to....drugs, getting into trouble. I hear his stories and it kinda scares me. There is an attraction and like I have read previously, its like a spell they put on you.

    When we do go out in the public, I'm sitting there while he "eyes" the whole room, looking to make eye contact with a female. He has no problem saying to me that woman is watching me. It does make me feel very uncomfortable and ugly. Its amazing how someone can make you feel that way when he is your centre of attention.

    Like you all have, I have done many different avenues to see if we are the "perfect" match. Of course they all come up with the same thing. He loves you....adores you..ect. but how come I don't feel that way everytime someone tells me that? They are bang on about a few things like being self-centred. He does constantly lie to me. Everytime he opens his mouth and tells me something, there is lie somewhere in that conversation, but why do I stay and feel afraid?

    I have never done this before, typing into a forum but after reading all the threads, something moved me to write one myself.



  • j3d, kmjessica, Janetmb: Cancer or not, these guys don't sound like they have YOUR best interest. You need to take a step back and ask: What is he adding to my life? What is he taking away from my life? Does he make me feel good most of the time, or bad?



  • Hiya every1 on this thread

    Boy it has become busy LOL

    Anyhews Ive enjoyed reading all posts made, and what struck me is most of u get to talk to ur aggravating cancermale. But what the f... do ya do when he is the ever silent quiet type, uses it as a chip of character?

    When I first met mine we clicked, n to my gr8 sorrow he married short after. It was odd at the time was neither of us looking 4 another person. i think he fast regretted his choise bc she turned out to b a golddigging hag who sold out his most cherished things. A classic car he had restored himself, pride n joy. U JUST DONT DO THAT TO A CANCER MALE. Heck any male would flip on that. Well he has been divorced for some years now.

    A big puzzle. I have this libra guy as pal too n he finally mailed me, but what i said was astounding, as it was stupid kinda. I said man i wish cancer had written called instead. Here this gr8 libra takes time off his roadtrip to mail me. ME!

    N all i do is whine. Must b a typ pisces trait. ANyhews lately ive consulted many a psychic, tarot reader, readers of all kinds, and all points to my cancer male.

    Im patient as a pisces can b, n TRUST ME is a tough job. Send him a note now n then of what i do n what im up to n such. Other times how i miss n love him with no excpectations of reciprocations. If i had the money I´d go to him n ask can we talk plz. But since i have none its kinda grrrr .............................. same readers have said he is looking at a travel, well he already travels as he is in the holiday houses rental bizz aswell as teaching his trade of firemanships, along volenteering when a fire breaks out, wild n brush fires particulary.

    I wish some1 here would take a look at me n this man n let me know wether im betting on a wrong horse so to say. Bc man with connection to my libra pal n go slow looks promising, i juss need to if i can, which is doubtful, change his mind on things LOL.

    So if any can help me thanx LOL



  • Hi everyone!

    Hope you all had a good holiday. Mine was pretty uneventful, I haven't seen my guy but we have either txt'd or spoken on the phone or both. Last night I was out with friends and ended up ending one of the longest friendships and was upset and crying, a lot. I'm a Virgo and I do not normally cry...anyway I call him and he was putting his kids to bed and said otherwise he'd come get me; I understood completely anything less would've offended me. I admire a man who takes good care of his babies. He soothed me and talked my tears away.

    This evening I was beginning to be sad and meloncholy missing him all the while thinking "well, I guess he doesn't really care too much for me as he isn't calling to see if I am o.k." Not very long after he called!!!!! First words were "how are you baby, I've been thinking about you and wanted to see about you" we ended up having a lovely 45 minutes conversation and he asked me to call him after his work time tomorrow (today) and we will go for a beer! I was so happy that I did not have to fret and worry with where he may be and who he may be with. He went clearly into detail that he would be at home watching a movie, doing laundry etc.,

    The friendship that is on hold is the friend who was calling me telling me he was supposedly with another was the one. Not because of him, mind you, nonetheless I find out all my anxiety was for no reason because he was with his children and he also called me to see why I wasn't at the BBQ. I listened to her and she was under the influence of anxiety meds and none of what she said was true. I didn't have to ask him point blank anything he openly discussed what he was doing this weekend. He wouldn't have done so if he had a date. Nor would he have taken a date with his kids. I agree with that as I only introuduced my son when I knew the man was going to be around for a while.

    Anyway, ALL is right with my world tonight!! Thanks for being here! I'll be back later my son wants to get on our new computer.



  • I am a 32 year old leo whos been with a cancer for me it has been 17 years had wanted himto naturely want me and his child being attracive for at the time having our baby was 4 cheated on me with an big,loud ,well passed around,swings with men and women mustash aaaaaaaaaaa

    thing(no affence to anyone but all combined OW) had killed all confidence , in lifting my head, and that not even half of my long life hanging on and still will never stop loving him , i just know all i can do is move on ,the bad part of that was braging about a cheap ring i got him to buy me so when i did go out i could shew the bar flies away,i was in the washroom and some of the girl thought woww, then it came in,sat her big hairy on a toilet that had no stall arouund it(renovations) and over heard the name & last and said "don't lie because I F**Ked him last night" imposilbe was the lier she came right to my face and said"OH your the one who puts your panties under your pillow " you could have heard my heart shadder, well i went to grab her by the arm , it pulls away thinking i want fight, cause she wasn't lieing dared her to let me get him on the phone, on the phone i ask him if he loves me and would tell me if there was any thing he need to fill me in on like i dn't know another girl ,denile hey baby she gets on the phone want to suck my juicy he starts screaming at her how gross she stunk and that why he snapped out of his drunken mistake hahahaha see you too nite she says passes the phone back goes to walk a way turns to me and says was his beath cause he did eat her after she did a few more without condoms and yes they did, yep i threw up , and being the asshole crab amazingly he came as fast he could carried me out and vowed never to be unfatful. That night watched him sleep and never had confidenceand spent 2 more years picturing anyone thats notice and pointed out and what do i think,(beauitfuland very do-able)to gross i couldn't stupidly

    understand what was wrong with me,lots of men tryed and never could i be without the only man i that absolutely worshiped he thought i was freaking on a girlfriend that oviously he had to have been chating with cause me and her were talking laughing and making loud conversation he just caught it when i was saying something that was funny to us and thought iwas try to be mean , not knowing we know each other he startedscream why do you have to be like that to ever pretty girl that I can't have everone attention and scare away all girls that maybe kind good hearted , and lets leave cause i emarased him, i tried to expand we.....

    sorry my freind was beening such a bitch she tells him ,the only one who isbeena bitch is the prick who just made a woman cry after she tell me how her husband is the most wonerful man in the world, f**king jerk, so we go home and i can't hold back any more i have to remind him who slept(sucked) a gross dirty pig and that was the real first time i ever lashed out, he leaves and what did i do, waited went to his side and sleeping i knelt down and said maybe(i thought he was sleeping) i used you and couldn't let you slip away now , i didn't tell you when you asked, the look on your face, so hateful, discuse, you gave me what i was told so young lieing about my age ,so i could be with the only man who could give a child i was never going to have

    so the doctors said(along story) I never told you when you lefted the girl you were with all i wanted was to be with my soul cause you never knew i took your heart, and he opened his eyes that why everyone says wow she looks just like me, my whole lfe i've never been so grateful to and thats awhole diff you know i have cancer and he's all the cancer i've ever and still want (but i just ache now and no one knows excepted you thank you for letting me feel alittle.



  • I am a 32 year old leo whos been with a cancer for me it has been 17 years had wanted himto naturely want me and his child being attracive for at the time having our baby was 4 cheated on me with an big,loud ,well passed around,swings with men and women mustash aaaaaaaaaaa

    thing(no affence to anyone but all combined OW) had killed all confidence , in lifting my head, and that not even half of my long life hanging on and still will never stop loving him , i just know all i can do is move on ,the bad part of that was braging about a cheap ring i got him to buy me so when i did go out i could shew the bar flies away,i was in the washroom and some of the girl thought woww, then it came in,sat her big hairy on a toilet that had no stall arouund it(renovations) and over heard the name & last and said "don't lie because I F**Ked him last night" imposilbe was the lier she came right to my face and said"OH your the one who puts your panties under your pillow " you could have heard my heart shadder, well i went to grab her by the arm , it pulls away thinking i want fight, cause she wasn't lieing dared her to let me get him on the phone, on the phone i ask him if he loves me and would tell me if there was any thing he need to fill me in on like i dn't know another girl ,denile hey baby she gets on the phone want to suck my juicy he starts screaming at her how gross she stunk and that why he snapped out of his drunken mistake hahahaha see you too nite she says passes the phone back goes to walk a way turns to me and says was his beath cause he did eat her after she did a few more without condoms and yes they did, yep i threw up , and being the asshole crab amazingly he came as fast he could carried me out and vowed never to be unfatful. That night watched him sleep and never had confidenceand spent 2 more years picturing anyone thats notice and pointed out and what do i think,(beauitfuland very do-able)to gross i couldn't stupidly

    understand what was wrong with me,lots of men tryed and never could i be without the only man i that absolutely worshiped he thought i was freaking on a girlfriend that oviously he had to have been chating with cause me and her were talking laughing and making loud conversation he just caught it when i was saying something that was funny to us and thought iwas try to be mean , not knowing we know each other he startedscream why do you have to be like that to ever pretty girl that I can't have everone attention and scare away all girls that maybe kind good hearted , and lets leave cause i emarased him, i tried to expand we.....

    sorry my freind was beening such a bitch she tells him ,the only one who isbeena bitch is the prick who just made a woman cry after she tell me how her husband is the most wonerful man in the world, f**king jerk, so we go home and i can't hold back any more i have to remind him who slept(sucked) a gross dirty pig and that was the real first time i ever lashed out, he leaves and what did i do, waited went to his side and sleeping i knelt down and said maybe(i thought he was sleeping) i used you and couldn't let you slip away now , i didn't tell you when you asked, the look on your face, so hateful, discuse, you gave me what i was told so young lieing about my age ,so i could be with the only man who could give a child i was never going to have

    so the doctors said(along story) I never told you when you lefted the girl you were with all i wanted was to be with my soul cause you never knew i took your heart, and he opened his eyes that why everyone says wow she looks just like me, my whole lfe i've never been so grateful to and thats awhole diff you know i have cancer and he's all the cancer i've ever and still want (but i just ache now and no one knows excepted you thank you for letting me feel alittle.



  • IT IS HIM AND SET ME FREE



  • BenteStoker

    I say forget your cancer if you can. I dont things will change with him. He will only bring you heartache. Take a chance on MR. Libra. You never know if you forget the cancer you might find that the other guy is really the one for you. Just MO.



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  • WOW....I just discovered this blog today and now I am more depressed than I was when I started reading all of your comments. They are all the same.

    Wonderful, moody, don't return any form of message until or if they are ready, romantic, absent, the relationship starts with a bang by him and then he retreats, comes back, ropes you in to do it all over again...apologetic, goes into his cave, comes out and you get all happied up and he disappears again saying he has a lot on him mind and can only do one thing at a time.

    Seeing all of this over and over and over again just made me more depressed than ever. He rushes us into something wonderful and then backs off saying he has to go slowly. SLOWLY? He was the one who started all this like gang busters!

    I've been in this game with him for 6 months and after reading all this I think I should just disappear and save myself any further heartache. And, by the way...we are middle aged and this is still going on?? I'm too old to waste any more time on the most wonderful guy in which I have ever been disappointed!

    Good luck to all of you ....and God be with us all who love a Cancer male!

    Cappy2



  • j3d---

    I could have pretty much copied your comments. My psychics tell me he's the one...give it time...don't push..... just be there. Patience is not my long suit....and when I don't hear from him I initiate contact then hate myself for being so weak. Someone made the comment that if you stay away they worry and get back on track for a short while....then back to the old routine. Mine is not a multi-tasker he says and that he has a lot on his plate right now...so I give him space and he calls to ask me out....we have a great time......but after the date I won't hear from him for several days. He barely drinks and no drugs - he is a wonderful man...but since this set of troubles started he is mostly in his cave and I feel the only reason he comes out is not to lose me. Not that he really wants to come to the surface but feels if he wants to keep me nearby he must. I want him to want to see me not need to see me to keep me hanging!

    Sounds like we are all dating the same man. Geez.



  • hah Cappy2 your comment is my most favorite of all. "SLOWLY?"--I know, right?! haha



  • KarmaCutie....

    We have a ll been there.....haven't we?

    Why is it they hook us so hard and so easily? I am not easily hooked or impressed. And I am very discerning....you probably are all of these, too. Is it charisma.....some magic field they send out that we can't see or recognize in time to run?

    My psychics (2) have both told me 'he's the one'...give him time.....it takes him a while to process things and he is careful. We will be very happy together. My cancerian has been badly hurt once. He has had one other relationship since his divorce and she messed him up for me. She said he has to trust me first. Hey....I need to trust, too but I do that by getting to know someone really, really well....not moving so slowly in six months that Ifear he will never know me well enough to trust me!

    You know.....either we are or are not a match. My big problem with all of this is that I am not getting younger and I can't do this mood thing much longer.... When we met I had five guys a sking me out. Five at my age is darn specacular. It took me 10 days to tell all of them I was dating someone seriously. He swept me off my feet. He was so excited about us....then after a few weeks he backed off as though he remembered being hurt and wanted to take it slowly and be sure. He never goes out and isn't seeing anyone else. We are still dating but he is hasn't called or emailed much....we go out once a week and speak a couple of times. He has really sick parents, a heavy work load, and says he has to process things one at a time. Said he can't multi task. I can understand that.....but somehow I can being in touch with the guy in my life would get more attention that he is giving. I just have to listen to my inner voice and my psychics and the tarot and my pendulum!

    Good Luck,

    Cappy



  • KMJessica

    Thanx Ive tried 4 so long 2 forget him n move on. Even dated a few guys only to get dumped by email, txtmessage oh yea n a doucey invitation to the guys wedding.

    Anyhews I find im yanked back to him, the cancer fireman, all the time. Him n the libra. like im stuck in a time loop which keeps repeating. Mayb not so i learn but that they learn hhhmmmmm

    I keep hearing from my angel guides n telepathically i juss need to handle this big thing, n later its this small thing n then like crabs happen when his plans goes askew 4 some weird unforeseen reason.

    Ive handed him solutions even. I reckon as a stubborn fish, yes we can b stubborner than a taurus , the old say all zodiac in us fishies, makes us stubborner than most at times. Pigheaded in neg senses LOLOLOLOL

    What can i can, he has me in his claws! 😉



  • I agree Cappy2- Just listen to that inner voice, it hasn't failed me yet! It's even been psychic a couple times!



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  • WOW Ladies with every story we really are dating the same exact guy... well my cancer guy has been distant and cold for several months now and has confused me to no end... i won't go into massive detail as i do have a blog too " cancer man left hole in my heart" that has the hole story but briefly we were together for 10 yrs... he decided it was over 10 months ago... bout 2 months ago he tried to spend time with me to no good end... and now he's back in his cave where he won't communicate with me... I have NEVER loved anyone like this and my psychics say the same thing for me to just be patient..he is the one for me... I PRAY that he is... i cry constantly and this isse has consumed my life... my friends tell me to move on but something in my inner voice says to wait...as hard as that may be... i feel i should wait...

    Over the last ten months i am assuming that there may have been someone else in the picture(i have no proof)... just intuition... there still may be but it doesn't feel permanent....

    Oh well ladies... we all have to listen to our inner voices and if it says run..than run... if it says stay... than stay...



  • jd3: Mine says he loves me ALL the time but if he thinks I am getting too serious he will clarify that he isn't in love with me "yet". I know what you are feeling. I have never been this drawn to a man and never felt so alone and sad when I don't see him! It's crazy, finding this forum has been a God send because my friends think I'm losing it, his name comes out of my mouth constantly; they are tired of it I'm sure. I think of him every waking moment--a lot of the time I would like to not think of him for 5 minutes! Don't beat yourself up about last night either, we can't always go by their schedule!!

    Hi Other Girls,

    Well as I told you was supposed to meet mine for a drink when he got off work, I call, no answer but he calls right back and then he says he's been at the pub a while and was going to go home. I already talked a friend and still went to meet her. About 9 I go to our pub thinking he wasn't there, well he was. He said how did you know I was here, and I said I didn't I thought he was at home!

    We ended up leaving there and going to another place and we had a really good time. He was mushy talking, saying I was his favorite girl, even though he says he isn't seeing anyone but me, and then when we go to bed he snuggles me very close and tells me how much he's missed me and that it felt good to hold me, that he liked it "A LOT" he is so handsome that women fall at his feet, so I don't know what to make of the favorite girl comment. I made an off hand comment that I thought I had him for the night--another chick hit on him, he didn't respond; and he said "you had me the second you walked in the door at the pub tonight."

    He left me a voicemail the other night when we were in a spat that said "in all honesty and everything else, I am not out for sex, he's never cheated on me, he won't, and he doesn't ever want me to think he has". And he loves me.

    My question is he says we aren't dating but all this stuff sure sounds like it huh? I think I have figured out a partial key to "us" and that is to hold back some from him and be a little unpredictable as well let him see a vulnerable or sad side to me. I have noticed if he thinks I am going to go away for good he toes the line.

    He comes on like gangbusters too! I did read an astrology book about Cancers in general, Cancer man--then about Virgo and Virgo women and it was so clear and precise!! He and I may never say we are in a relationship but we've been "not" dating since November. Also a couple of people last night made the comment that we were more than friends. He and I are so drawn to each other when in a room at the same time. So I will wait him out (so I say today LoL)



  • Has anyone else linked the fact that cancerians are writing that their life is being replaced with a new one and everyone who is in a relationship with a cancerian is having trouble at the moment????



  • PiscesPiggy, I have!! I also read that if we keep up with the tide and when the moon is full we can know what to expect or how to accept their actions. At the moment the exact what, where, when and why isn't coming to mind but I will see if I can find that again and post it.

    I txt'd mine a while ago and lo and behold if he didn't txt me right back. I am catching myself thinking to not get too happy with his behavior and to remember to remain a tad distant etc., I do feel like I am adjusting somewhat to his ways. As a Virgo I am a natural worrier so I'm trying not to let my weird insecure thoughts get the best of me!

    God help us all! LoL


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