Cancer man, and he is confusing



  • Ok, so I'm going to make a pendulum tomorrow when I'm not so tired. And I'm going to wait until then to decide if I should contact him or not. This is so frustrating, I know you all sympathize.



  • Good day dears!!! i am new here but this topic caught my attention, why? simply bcoz my fiancee is also a cancer guy. The weird thing is I am sagittarius, compare to dr.piesces, piesces and cancers are pretty compatible...i've study couple of charts and analyze everything bout zodiac signs - water sign to water sign are like what they called perfect match unlike with water-fire sign considered as very challenging one.

    My concern is here - to everybody, it is indeed very frustrating and confusing when dating cancer guys, everybody is right in stating their observations with regard to cancer's behavior, i;ve seen it also with my two eyes. Sometimes they r hot, pretty sweet, warm and then on coming days they are the exact opposite and even forgot that we are existing right? they forgot to call, text, reply on our emails ...but they're just like normal guys....and couple of men are like that. The question here is not about the zodiac sign alone but rather the ability of the two person on how they're going to meet half way, on how their relationship nourish without pushing it hard or working it out alone (or else it become one sided relationship).

    The challenge for all women who's dating cancer guy or whatever sign they are, is to focus first on ourselves 100% on life, passions, commitments and in our own well-being. We have to get our mind and heart away from caring about what our MAN does, and onto caring about YOU...so the message here lies in GET OUT and HAVE FUN!

    Insecurity is just around the corner as well as any negative emotions - when we are feeling negative, man feel it too, so what happen is we are also responsible in pushing them ...which make them think that we are weird, needy, and desperate, although all we want is the assurance of love and commitment they are promising to us ...but sometimes they are lacking of it...so instead of waiting for ur man, divert ur attention in doing 0ther things - be productive, enjoy life and u may even try circular dating...(flirt some dear) and u'll be suprised that your man will come back to you.

    You don't need to prove anything to him, prove it to urself that you;re one of a honey-goddess like so if u get out from his life it is his fault not urs.:) Remember - man love to please woman no matter what, if you become more busy of urself, loving yourself more...they will go insane in getting back your attention...and that is exactly what i am doing with my relationship with cancer man...now we are engaged and soon he'll meet my family to properly ask for my hand and get married.:) i hope i did help u to clear some of cluttered thoughts....focus on urself dear instead to ur boyfriend. Godbless!



  • Additional dear - the tricky part is me and my fiancee is not compatible due to our zodiac signs but what i did is...i give my very best to become mature, open woman, with spunky attitude. I set my attitude into saying, getting what i want. We all deserve the best for us, actually you and ur bf clicked very well...all u need to do more is to set your mind focusing on ur needs first. Realizing your potentials and gift.

    try to ignore your bf too sometimes (i dont mean to offend with any male readers) coz u still have life, and lot of things to do. He will wonder what are you doing at this point of your life, why you didn't do the same thing that you used to do for him? he will start thinking about you, about the things that you two share, he will act easily to save the relationship and etch. Start using the word " i feel" in every words you want to express with him...and i assure you he will listen dear.:)



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  • Good morning loves.

    Blackrose and j3d. I'm so happy about your posts. I went to a book club last night where we are reading A New Earth--which is all about living in the present and ridding yourself of the pain body. It's very much about self-improvement and not letting your negative emotions take over.

    I actually have purchased Rori Raye's stuff. She is brilliant, I just wasn't good at it. 🙂 As you can guess, I am STILL wondering if I should make the move with my Cancer man. We haven't seen each other in 5 days, and we exchanged one text message the following day...so I've haven't talked to him in 4-5 days. We don't really run in the same circles, so strategically running into him is hard, just to hope to keep me in his mind. So if you all still ahve advice here, that would be appreciated.

    That being said, I have very much been trying to focus harder on myself the last day or so. I already love to go to the gym, and am headed there immediately after I finish this. I am also trying to make sure I actually red A New Earth more often, that I finish a novel I started, finish a Spanish class I started (I have lots of Aries in my chart---lots to start, never finish). I am also going to do a spiritual cleansing bath, Mercury Retrograde was really rough on me...and it's a great time to do that once Mercury goes direct. I'm then going to clean my house and go through all my mail. Unfortunately, I am between school and starting my job in 3 weeks. I've had 2.5 months of vacation, and I've got another 3 weeks left. It has left me very bored and with lots of time to let my negative emotions take hold, way too much to THINK, etc. I'm REALLY ready to get to work so I can be the person I know I am. I'm miserable without work. So in the meantime, I'm trying to make the most of the next 3 weeks. I'm going to read all I can read, workout, take up kickboxing because I have way too much energy that needs to be released, etc. I'm going to work on being happy as much as possible. So, I am working on me. My goal at the end of the 3 weeks is to be happy being alone, with nothing to do, for an extended period of time.

    So yes, let's do change our focus. But also, I know we are all going to have these things that keep us from doing that...for instance, my wondering if I should contact my Cancer. It was SO new, and I haven't heard from in 4-5 days, and I'm just confused. If I can get past this, the rest of ME is going to be so easy! 🙂



  • I so agree with blackrose and jd3.

    Both the cancer men I've known were born the same year and have every single planet in the same sign except venus. One has Leo rising and the other Virgo. So you can see that they would seem to be very much alike. In some ways they were. They were both married and divorced. Both had kids. Both were raising their kids on thier own. Both liked very much to drink alcohol but were not alcoholics.

    The first cancer man I dated , or became friends with ( his words, we are just friends).

    He treated me as if we were dating. He was very attentive. We were together alot. And yes it was a sexual relationship too. We even took a trip out of town one weekend ( his idea) .He was not as bad as the cancer man I have known for the last 2 years. There was only a couple of times I can remember that he showed his cancer colors one was a night he was coming back into town after dropping off his son. He called and we planned to get together that night. He never showed up and never answered my call or text. I started to get very worried cuz he never did that before. Even half of the next day, nothing. When he finally called he said something bad happened to him the night before and would I like to know what that was. I told him I was very worried about him and he scared me to death cuz I thought something happened to him. And no I didnt want to hear what it was cuz I was very mad. He ended up coming over and everything was ok. The next was a weekend I called and text and he didnt respond to either. He then called me at the end of the weekend and said he had been really sick and was in bed all weekend.

    But the now cancer, well I could repeat just about everything everyone else has said happened to them. Been there done that. I fell hard for this man. I dont know if Id go as far as to say Im in love with him but its pretty close.

    Im just trying to say here that I finally got to that point were I couldnt take it anymore. It was just getting to painfull. The up's and down's were killing me and I ended our friendship, relationship.

    How long do you put up with it? If it were another man that wasn't a cancer would you still believe he was into you? I mean just because we all know what cancer's are all about we are spose to cut them so much slack?? There are other cancer men out there that are married. Ones that have been divorced and are NOT scared to try again and remarry. The first cancer I dated is one of them. I had to get myself back to making me happy again. That wasnt going to happen if I was always thinking and worrying about him. What was he doing, Is he thinking of me, Will he text me today, When wil I see him again, Does he care for me.

    Funny thing is it's only been 10 days since I told him goodbye and I already have 2 guys calling me and telling me there interested and want to get together. And even though Im not into them (yet?) I will give it a chance, cuz you never know. Im not that kind of person that needs a man in her life, Im very independant I own my own home and raise my children without help. But I didnt think I could live without this man. I think you have all said the same. But I can and I will. I still think in the back of my mind that one day we will be friends again. (We run in the same circle) Know the same people, some of our family are friends with eachother. But Im not going to ever fall in that trap again. Waiting by the phone and wonder What, Where, When.

    Im not at all bitter and the funny thing is that Im not really even heart broken. I still think of him every day. But Its all about me being happy now.

    I really loved the post from blackrose and jd3 cuz I feel the same way.



  • Blackrose, jd3,drpisces, kmjessica.....

    WELL SAID! I'm in.

    Let's just keep it right here, not start a new forum....because what prompted it are our Cancerian men and whomever starts this forum from the beginning will need our new found strength once they get to this point! I am reading about seven books on every spiritual subject you can imagine....finished E. Tolle's New Earth, Stillness Speaks and the Power of Now...then went out and bought the cd's of all to have in my car for refresher on long trips. But my newest find for self inprovement and to get my mind off HIM is a wonderful Author named Sonja Choquette. She has between 7 and 9 best sellers. I am so glued to her book (Ask Your Guides) that I got the cd's and they just arrived three days ago. I can hardly put the book down and go to sleep with the audio going! (There is different information in the book and on the CDs --6 of them-- but along the same thread) Look her up at SonjiaChoquette.com. Soon I will tell you about something almost miraculous that happened practicing something she taught me Sunday night! I asked for a sign and a whole Billboard of proof that I made contact.... came to me in a dream state! Incredible.

    Now... I'm fired up and going to make some plans with friends...play Bridge....hit the gym.....whatever it takes to get moving again. I sell real estate but the market has been so bad here that I have done almost nothing. Meaning: Too much time on my hands to 'fret' about my cancer man! I am very fortunate that I don't have to sell real estate to live....Thank God for alimony!

    As I started this..... I'll say it again....

    I'M IN!!

    (sounds sorta like poker! LOL)

    Cappy



  • PS to j3d ---

    I get Rori Raye's emails with the subject matter and hints but have not tried the downloads yet. I was hesitant because I have done these in theb past and I didn't get anything new out of them. So you recommend Rori R's?

    Cappy



  • DrPisces....

    Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater.....

    There is still a place for the pendulum. It will tell you the best time to call or write (I still thing the first is writing following up with the call soon after)....Another good tool is right here on Tarot.com - Check out AstroSync - put in his birthday and it will tell you hour to hour when your connection with him is best for Attraction, Communication and Asserting yourself with him based on your combined astro positions. Its free and interesting. I even have my grown kids and best friend's report coming to me. Once set up you just click on the icon and there is your report giving you tons of information - especially about communication which is what you need most to know right now. Trying not to be pushy but at least thing about these two tools. They, too, help empower you! Knowledge is power!



  • What is my problem with the word THINK? I wrote' thing'...not once, but twice. Perhaps being on the floor with my notebook on my stomach is not a good thing! LOL



  • j3d - Again I forgot to tell you that I'm so glad you tried the pendulum again! And it worked beautifully!

    OK, Ya'll.....No more from me today - promise!



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  • YES , my cancer man STARES at young chicks every time we go out. But when I confront him, he VIOLENTLY denies it. Is he just unaware that he's staring? He doesn't do it in a sexually suggestive way necessarily, usually he acts like he's just looking at the girl's baby, or looking at something past her or something.



  • My cancer guy also doesn't like to kiss much. It's so frustrating because I really want to feel intimate with him, and instead all I feel is cold rejection. He tells me all the time that he loves me. But we also don't do 'it' often enough for me, and when we do, it's not very good.



  • I also think about him all the time, and yes I agree that his methods of pulling away are part of what makes me yearn for more too.



  • oh yeah, and he also is sappy sweet, and officiously apologetic about nothing, and very polite, towards me, but especially towards outsiders and friends. But it feels disingenuous because when i really want something, he ultimately doesn't really care.



  • j3d---

    My heart hurts for you. I got here late...I had a project I wanted to finish....but do not see another post as to whether or not he returned with a reply. I hope since we didn't hear he told you to come over.

    I know what you mean and how you feel about being almost compelled to do and say the wrong things. We get all happied up when things are going well.... And they have deprived us for so long we want more of this nirvana. So we push just a little more and then we feel the bottom fall out from under us. Hang in there....

    Keep us posted.....

    Cappy



  • 2 trans7trip:

    YES , my cancer man STARES at young chicks every time we go out. But when I confront him, he VIOLENTLY denies it. Is he just unaware that he's staring? He doesn't do it in a sexually suggestive way necessarily, usually he acts like he's just looking at the girl's baby, or looking at something past her or something.

    ALL MEN STARE- ITS DNA RULED- MEN LOOK 4 THE PERFECT WOMAN TO BEAR HIS CHILDREN. WOMEN STARE AT MEN BC THEY WANT THE BEST GENES 4 THEIR CHILDREN, ALSO DNA RULED.

    My cancer guy also doesn't like to kiss much. It's so frustrating because I really want to feel intimate with him, and instead all I feel is cold rejection. He tells me all the time that he loves me. But we also don't do 'it' often enough for me, and when we do, it's not very good.

    CAN IT B U FORCE HIM N THE INTIMACY TOO MUCH? SOME MEN DONT LIKE IT N FEEL MORE COLD DETACHED N UNLOVING- U ROB EM OF THEIR MASCULINITY. AS 4 DOING "IT" WELL CONSIDER UR LIBIDO MAY B HIGHER THAN HIS. NOT ALL HAS THE SAME LIBIDO. N WHEN HE HAS TO PERFORM HE HAS UR "DEMANDS" IN MIND N IT GETS BAD N WELL AGAIN UR LIBIDO MAY B HIGHER THAN HIS, SO WHEN HE IS SATED TIRED WORN OUT U MAY DUE TO UR LIBIDO B READY 4 MANY MORE ROUNDS. CONSIDER READING UP ON MENS ORGASMS N BEHAVIOR AFTER DOING "IT" IVILLAGE DOT COM HAS A GR8 SECTION ON THIS.

    also think about him all the time, and yes I agree that his methods of pulling away are part of what makes me yearn for more too

    MAYB U ARE TOO FORCEFUL? TOO DEMANDING? TOO NEEDY? CONSIDER HIS SIDE N NEEDS N COMPARE TO URS, TRY N SET PACE BY HIS N GIVE HIM ROOM TO BREATHE. SOUNDS LIKE U SUFFOCATE HIM. ALL OM UR TERMS. TRY N RELENQUISH ( PARDON SPELLINGS) POWER N ALLOW HIM TO LEAD.

    oh yeah, and he also is sappy sweet, and officiously apologetic about nothing, and very polite, towards me, but especially towards outsiders and friends. But it feels disingenuous because when i really want something, he ultimately doesn't really care.

    WELL Y WOULDNT HE BE, 1ST HE IS SORRY HE CANT MAKE U HAPPY NOR FULLY SAITISFY U 4 LACK OF SAME LEVEL OF LIBIDO, NOR IS HE ALLOWED TO TAKE CHARGE. SEEMS U´RE ALSO A BIT IMPATIENT. U NEED LOADS OF PATIENCE WITH WATERSIGNS.

    ANYHEWS I HOPE THIS HELPED, BC OFTEN WE NEED TO LOOK AT HIS SIDE B4 OUR OWN.

    I had to write in caps as site wont allow diff font n font color. so i apologize profusely, n state i do not yell or scream.

    trans7trip i wish u best of luck.



  • hello guys!!! sorry for the late reply i was so busy, has lot of things to do. Anyway, kindly read my response here:

    I never expect cool responses from all of you dears, glad to read all of it! With regard to j3d’s query – I did purchased Rori Raye’s program last year and start applying all her wonderful and necessary ideas when it comes to empowering ourselves as a woman and have a great relationship that we deserve. Also, a couple of years ago, I read Christian Carter blogs and e-book when it comes to dating and meeting him. These two authors made a tremendous effect for me in choosing the right and available man that I want to date with and become my potential partner in the future. But unfortunately, I can’t attend to any of their seminars coz I am miles away from states, currently leaving here in Philippines, however, I am still wishing in time, I could meet them and express my gratitude personally.:)

    I intentionally put those sensible learnings from these great authors while replying to this topic, although I never knew dr. piesces or any one of you, I believe that we have the right to share, to touch one soul and create awareness of our own potentials.

    Before when I was lacking of confidence and has misleading thoughts about dating, I did the same thing/mistakes that every woman do with their partner. When I am upset over a thing, whenever I misses him and he’s too busy with whatever he is doing, I act like needy (ouch!!!), I over analyzed our situation which leads me into another door of depression. I also try to pleased my former bf, be always nice to his eyes, etch and yet all of my effort are not enough to make him stay.

    I wanted to end all the misery I am feeling that time, but how? It is not easy to lift a wounded heart and spirit when you are put in such circumstances. A couple of friends tried to console me and shared their concerns too but I do know in myself I haven’t found the right answers in all my questions. Until I decided, to open my mind in all possibilities that might happen in future. I am still alive so why would I end up hurting myself, when in fact there’s lot of things to come?!!! Why would I settle myself for someone unworthy of my time and affection? After some period of soul-searching, I start to kicking back, taking baking lessons, doing productive things, making myself happy, feeling good and to become the honey-goddess like that I was talking about yesterday. So, that’s how Chris Carter and Rori Raye come into picture.:), I realized my potential as a great person, begin in believing, loving and respecting more of myself.

    J3d is right, true happiness comes from within, so let’s not put our mind into thinking that loving someone alone and being love back can make us happy in this world…you can never wait for someone to pick or give flowers to you when you can do it for yourself or else, you’ll get disappointed. Find the contentment anywhere, especially within yourself…take time to smell the flowers, have a great trip alone or with family or friends. Start in taking good care of yourself no matter how busy you are, no matter how your bf try to take you away from your own happiness. Always put yourself into number 1 list, then you’ll learn to balance your time for other concerns including your own family.

    There is really still lot of things to learn while we are living in this world. Instead of putting too much of your attention and energy in fixing relationship, everybody is right in saying that we should put at least more than 50-60% of your energy and put it back into YOURSELF. It is not about being selfish, but just a matter of loving yourself first before somebody loves you back, a matter of creating your own happiness and balancing your life toward other matters.

    I’ll be glad to join and support any group that would help us in making ourselves better….(my hands and my legs is up actually in joining this kind of group..hehe) let’s talk about the things that we did for a day, share some wishes and dreams, as well as interests for an instance.:)

    I am feeling great at this time, and if we can become consistent with our goals at least, we can create another set of advocacy about Woman.:) thru this forum. Feel free to post any ideas, hear feedbacks. Godbless us all!:)



  • for dr. pisces:

    Here lies at the beginning of your paragraph is you are into reading A New Earth which is about self-improvement and not letting negative emotions to take over. Concerning Rori Raye and Chris Carter, just like you I wasn’t good at it at the beginning, it takes time for me to understand what they really mean and there are times my face is like being slap by such realities and realization from those e-books – afterall, practice makes perfect!

    You can literally make a move with your cancer bf – I mean, it’s all about your decision right? but still try to listen to other part of your brain. You two haven’t seen for a couple of days, you are hoping that you are in his mind. Since he’s busy with his whereabouts, just like what others say…engaged yourself with other activities. You stated above that you are focusing harder in the last day, so keep on doing it!:), which also makes me think that you are independent woman. You are miserable without work, so just a simple logic here - If you lost your job and your lover stay but he’s not paying much attention to you, don’t you think it is better to have job over him? At least you are earning, does your lover has the capacity to meet all your needs? But if he’s a one great man that you have no complain aside from being too occupied with lot of stuff and yet he knows how to get back from you – well it’s up to you dear. You know him better so my only message here is - as I am always saying FOCUS ON YOURSELF…you have perfect ideas with regards to having the relationship that you deserve so follow your happiness, your instinct and balance it with your decision and don’t forget to trigger naturally and lasting attraction to your partner. (check out Christian Carter online about this matter.)

    Real Man want a woman who inspires, motives them bcoz she has great things going on her life, she’s thinking and doing great things, and her energy, her attitude is contagious. A woman who has her own purpose that inspires her and gives fulfillment and reason for living other than just being in a relationship. – excerpt from catchhimandkeephim.com


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