Cancer man, and he is confusing



  • Wow. From what I have read of everyone's encounters with a Cancer Male, it sounds like you ALL are dating my friend.

    He is a serious Cancer Male, in that everyone has to be his friend. No relationships or girlfriends, just friends. That's it. So we are just friends. And when he wants to be a little physical with me, I tell him this is not what "just friends" do. He gets all upset and doesn't understand why not.

    How about your Cancers?



  • well my now ex-Cancer (haven't heard from him in a little over a week - so I've assumed he's moved on) introduced me as his friend - to everyone. Mom, dad, sister, friends from high school, you name it. All of his family and friends called me his girlfriend, but I never heard that from him. Cancer men take everything verrrrrrrry slowly. If you and your cancer are doing things on a social basis (hanging out with family and friends) and it appears that the two of you are "together", then you are more than just a "friend". However, if you are hanging out all the time and you actually ARE friends, then he may want to take it to a highler level, just not know how to tell you. JMO..........



  • Well, my cancer has had girlfriends in the past (one of them cheated on him, which he swears has ruined women for him) and I think he had one fairly recently....maybe a year or two ago? He's just all over the place now with what he wants. He told me once he didn't want to give up his 'lifestyle' and was too uncertain about anyone currently in his life (moi included) to get into a relationship. That waasss....months ago. Then on valentines day he told me he was rethinking what he said, that maybe he did want a relationship. I haven't gotten an update since then, so what is going on in his head now is a total mystery to me. So, I think he doesn't want anyone that he isn't 100 percent sure about. Which is beyond frustraiting.



  • Oh, my god. 'My' cancer (he isnt mine, but i'll call him that anyway cause it sounds nice) loves to toss the 'its just plutonic' at me, even though we've been together three or four times already.



  • paulaj: He introduces me to everyone as his 'friend' but I get invited to things and am treated like I am someone more than a friend to him by his mom and dad. We used to always hang out and do everything together. For a while we were inseperable. We have actually stopped all hanging out at this pint. It's been about 6 months since I have seen him.

    MariaRia: I get what you are saying. He and I have been close, although not sexual, and he still thinks it's what "just friends" do. Yet he calls me his 'friend'. Frustrating to say the least.



  • Aqua - your Cancer sounds just like mine. We were inseperable and everyone was in awe of how "in sync" we were for knowing each other just a short time. But - I haven't heard from mine in a little over a week and haven't seen him for almost three weeks. I wonder what's that all about???? I can't tell right now if that's "down time" or he's moved on.

    Does anyone have any insight out there for me????? I have been told to let it ride and he'll be back, but I'm so impatient I want to mail his crap back to him......Any thoughts????



  • Now see - I just did my cards and according to them - we're good - everything's fine. Situation was the 9 of Cups and the potential outcome was 9 of coins. The only bad thing was the page of swords and I KNOW who that is. It just reminded me that I shouldn't be telling her anything about what's going on with him.........

    Either way - four empaths and 2 card readers have told me that eveyrthing's great between me and him... what the heck????? I'm so confused.....



  • well, this isnt tarot but i think its good advice anyway. I read Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, and apparently men have a habbit of needing to step away from the women they care about for a certain period of time. He compared them to an elastic. They stretch away and then come flinging back. Something about them getting freaked out and need some space so they dont feel tied down, or like their manly freedom is gone. I have no idea if thats whats going on, but it sounds like it. So, if John Gray and your friends are right, he will be back.



  • well my cancers are certainly different than all that mushy stuff a 9year on again ff again only becuse he begs me he's changed his ways and can't live without me the mother surogate he needs the nurturing and caretaking while he 's odopted all these addictions domestic abuse, drugs, drinking, smoking , gambling,stealing off me, disrespect for authorities and if that's not enough he a perfectionist that doesn't work. and demands hygene i drive him crazy if I tell him I haven't washed my hands since I seen him last because he wasn't there to tell me too.and he won't talk to me now because I won't let go of the last $500 he got deceptively off me we have been apart for along while I have had some health issues and surgury but still work when i can so he trys to get money off me I don't smoke and he would always ask me if I got a smoke.



  • three other long time relationships were Cancers as well and all were alcholics and abusive



  • Thanks Maria - that sounds about right. He does get freaked out about losing his freedom. I just wish I could see into the future for once and know whether whateveryone is telling me is true. He usually does come back and I always hear from him. But lately - it jsut seems like I am thinking way more about him than he is about me.

    Funny - I'm sitting here watching the Oprah show with Steve Harvey - wow - there was a woman on here talking about how this guy just blew her off and she wanted to know why he did that. Steve Harvey told her if she was looking for closure she wasn't going to get because he wasn't into her, whatever may have happened he decided that he just wasn't going to pursure her any longer. So if this is true with ALL men - then I apparently have been wasting alot of time trying to figure out whether he's even thinking about me. Talk about an "AHA!" moment..........sad

    Good luck with your Cancer! I wish you the best in everything,..



  • AquaVeronnie...what are friends for? that was funny!



  • Ria, that sounds like exactly what I am facing right now. Have you been able to resolve anything ??? I hope so , only because if you did, maybe so can I. I love this man very much and have given more lattitude to him than any other in my life. Get back to me. Be well....memeasun57



  • Hi

    Just came out of a relationship when I met a Cancer man.I had seen him often at a gathering place where my daughter worked and little to my knowledge after we connected my daughter stated he had been asking her about me. His eyes,wow,that's what drew me to him. We both came out of bad relationships and threw our cards on the table. We took it slow and had been together for 14 years until he passed away four years ago and I miss him with every day goes by.He strutted his stuff,but when he told me he was in it for the long haul I knew he was mine.He would react immediately while I mulled things over,and in all the time we were together we did not have a fight.I knew what he wanted long before he told me.We were on the same page at all things.He was an older man but did not act his age.I could go on , but........



  • memasun57 - You know, I think so....LOL! The situation is better now, but I still don't actually know anything. I feel like we're a lot closer, and we've spent a lot of time together. For some reason he really doesn't like to make dates with me, but that hasn't actually been a problem because we've hung out together after work every weekend for the past 3 or 4 weeks. I've read that cancers like to take it slow (and even perfred said that's what they did) and that certainly is the way things are going....slowly, lol. But, it's kinda nice. I'm just going on my gut that he's interested, because he hasn't said as much and I have no idea when he plans to. What's going on with you??

    perfred -I'm sorry for your loss 😞 I can't imagine. I'm glad your cancer was able to get over his emotional past to be with you, because that seems to be a problem for a lot of cancers.



  • Oh, I should add, that i've taken everyone's advice about being his friend and I'm blown away by how well it's worked. I feel like that is a big reason why we've progressed so much in such a short amount of time. I just completely changed my attitude, gave him more space, no pressure...and i've talked to him more this last month then all the time we've known each other put together. So, that might help your situation, too.



  • rudygreen: LOL You know, I can totally go with that if he wasn't so undecisive about where he lies with relationships.

    paulaj: my Cancer has left me alone. I laid it out for him. I told him we are either 'just friends', which i am OK with or we cant talk so much. He has chosen the not talk so much route.

    I hope you all are going good with your Cancer men/women?



  • Aqua - I haven't talked to mine in a month and a half. He just completely stopped calling me.

    He called me every day and then he came back from his cruise, spent the weekend with we when he got back, told me to "have a good day" and I talked to him a couple of times throughout the following week. That was it. I left him a message and he never called back.

    I think too much time may have passed for me to give him an ultimatum. He already knew what I wanted - and he has already made his choice. I am trying to let it go - and if we are supposed to be together, the universe will find a way to make it happen.



  • I've been reading all about this Cancer men stuff and it's very interesting and informative, especially where MariaRia says she loves talking to her Cancer man. I too love talking to my Cancer manfriend. I love talking to him, and he said he does too, with me. But what I don't understand about Cancer men: why is it that if they've been hurt in a past relationship, really hurt, they are very cautious about not committing again. I mean we've all been hurt, they're not the only ones. Surely if they are attracted to a woman, that's not going to stop them from going out with her just because they have been deeply hurt before? Mine is so cautious about this. I get it that his ex-wife hurt him a lot, also a past girlfriend. That's over with, time to move on. My ex-husband hurt me a lot too. But I wouldn't hold that against any man. The past is the past! I hate it that that's the reason my Cancer manfriend is not asking me out (as I know he has feelings for me.) And it is true, mine is moving at a very slow pace. I want things to move forward FAST. It's been 8 months, still no date, though we're very good friends (WERE, I don't know, I haven't seen him for one week!). According to him, when I told him to think about it (if I'm ever going to see him outside of work), he replied "I don't need to think about it. It WILL happen." This was a month ago. Well, when's it going to happen! I'm sorry but the way I feel right now..... I'm so glad I found this forum - to read what others are experiencing and that I'm not the only one in love with a Cancer man who won't budge. I always remember my sister's advice to me:" If a man really liked a woman, he'd move heaven and earth to be with her." She's right. She's also told me many times: "Give up! Give up! You've asked this man a million times to come over (or to go somewhere with me), he won't. Give up!" To which he said to me "And what did you say? Yes?" I told him "I'll never give up!". He knows how I feel about him. I guess now is the time to play it cool - not because it's the right thing to do, but I've had enough of doing all the hard work to bring this friendship to where it is today. Now it's up to him. But he's the kind of man, very laid back, that if a woman wants him she'll go after him. He can't be bothered, one way or the other. To which all of you will say to me "Well then he's not worth it!" But I'm so crazy on this man, I cry every day and every night because I don't want just his friendship, I want to go out with him. I want more. But I guess he doesn't.



  • To Librachild,

    I have only found this website today. i hear your pain and confusion. my heart goes out to you. But do not "wait" for this man. 6 weeks ago my Leo/Cancer man of 25 years walked out on me and his 3 kids. I too waited 24 years for him to open up to me and let me in. He just didnt tell that he had. So i got frustrated and mad. he left us and began another relationship within 3 days. i was devastated and stunned cos he left saying absolutely nothing to me whatsoever.


Log in to reply