Cancer man, and he is confusing

  • kmjessica-that sounds like a good time to me too. we are already having 90+ degree days!! and too many tornado's or real severe storms this year.

    j knows my sun loving habits-with sunscreen but i tan easy!! anyway he took me to my car today and tells me he has the kids-duh and they may go to a pool somewhere. did that mean he may want me to join them? ha ha!

    man am i a hater tonight?! only 20 minutes and i can leave work!

  • Is everyone out enjoying their Saturday except me who will sit at this desk until 11 p.m. UGH!

  • Hi ladies,

    Hello again from the UK. Sorry I've not posted for a few days but have been suffering from a bad back and also feeling a bit low. OMG - this forum has grown somewhat in the past few days. It's hard to believe just how many of us are + have been having problems with Cancerian men. Are they the most difficult sign of the zodiac I am wondering. It is certainly a great help having this forum to air our v iews on - despite me being here in the UK and most of you over there in the USA! Interesting to know that a Cancer man is the same the world over....! Lots of what has been written on here makes so much sense and yes, it does help us to hopefully understand a bit better.

    AquaBubbles - your post of 31st May made a lot of sense when you said that Cancerian men can be self-destructive - I'm sure that's what is happening to my ex. He had been married twiced before and definitely disappears back into his shell when things get tough or difficult.

    LibraChild - thank you for your post of 1st June - yes as you say something is definitely not right - I'm hanging onto the hope that all will, one day, be revealed - just don't know when!

    Cappy2 - I'm not that far behind you as I'm 53 in August and a typical Virgo (although one that does need a little more patience!). I also use a pendalum to dowse with (although my Clairvoyant told me she was being told I should stop asking the same question all the time...) and it keeps telling me that yes I will hear from him at some point. So I guess I do need that large dose of patience.... just wish I could order some from e-bay!

    Like most of us, I just wish I knew what it is about Cancerian men that keeps us all on this forum, they certainly do get inside one's head!

    Wishing you all a happy and peaceful day from Shakespeare's home in Warwickshire!


  • Interesting perspective (I never thought about it this way)….I just found this on another forum discussing a Cancer man…coming from another Cancer...

    “second, i am somewhat sure on this - he doesn't want to show his vulnerabilities to you still. i mean , he might be serious about you but he doesn't want to show his emotional dependency , in other words he wants you to know he can be very comfortable without you too (incase something untoward happens between you two ) thats the reason behind his gaps of communication .

    Actually all this is more about him than you , by doing all this he is just trying to reassure himself of his ability to handle any untoward emotional turmoil .

    the infamous defence meachnism , if you remember”

  • It's girls.....It's Mom.....!

    I'm still in the mountains.... heading home tomorrow. guy is back from out of town as of some time today....haven't heard a word. Feeling a little low. But then ...we all knew he wouldn't call. You know....I am feeling too old for these bull **** games.

    I wonder if those guys who were after me 6 months ago are sitll unattached! I think I am going to have to find out. Where the heck is my pendulum when I need it!


  • Good morning everybody, trust you had a good weekend. Well, three weeks now without a single word. Not that i have expected to hear something, but i am still hoping. As some of you, i also wonder why i can't forget about this cancer guy... The ups definately makes up for the downs... this time i am not sure if there is ever going to be a up with him again

  • omg, reading all those stories I start doubting you guys are talking about the guy on my mind!!

    and why do they suddenly disappear???

    This time it's sooo strange and really different than any other time..I miss him so much and can't seem to get over him..

    Nothing bad had happened or anything we were on good terms(not dating though) and he was with me and friends on a trip and had lots of fun days before it.My last phone call with him was very pleasant and normal.Now his mobile has been off since over 3 weeks, and weird things are happening online it's like he doesn't want to talk to me anymore yet he did not block me on msn or remove me(I knew from messenger plus, hehe)

    he also still keeps the people he knows and gets to see through me as his friends.

    I don't the hell know what happened and I spend the nights thinking and wondering, imagining scenarios and stories.

    Please Help!!!

  • Hey Dollcake, i know exactly how you are feeling. I admit i was guilty of saying things that were not so nice... urghhh... Mine also did not block or deleted me from msn... just this deafening silence. It's only normal to wonder... Wish i knew how to handle the situation.

  • Hello All!

    I just want to say, by reading through this blog has really helped me to understand my Cancer, the love of my life, but I left long before I could understand him.

    We fell in love fast and furiously with his persistent pursuing of me. It was a love like I've never felt before...The day (1.5 months after) he told me he "Loves" me, he flipped the script. Stopped calling me, didn't have time to see me, etc. This was very confusing for me since he called me at minimum 10 times a day...We were seeing each other daily & sleeping over a few times a week...This all turned to nothing, just like that!

    He started witholding sex from me, but weeks later we went on a weekend getaway to Antigua and he was so romantic one minute and we made love a couple of times, then he would disappear and ended up on Jet skis with some other chicks. Needless to say, I was pissed. When we got back it was approaching Christmas, didn't hear from him for days and then he would reappear. I thought we were going to spend the holidays together and then he disappeared again for a few days.

    At this point, I was like...I'm not going into the New Year on this YoYo string and decided to cut him off. He SMSed me Merry Christmas & also HAPPY NEW YEAR...I knew I deserved to be treated better than that.

    Katy Perry described him perfectly with her song,

    'Cause you're hot then you're cold

    You're yes then you're no

    You're in then you're out

    You're up and you're down

    You're wrong when it's right

    It's black and it's white

    We fight, we break up

    We kiss, we make up

    You, you don't really wanna stay, no

    You, but you don't really wanna go, oh

    I proceeded very quickly in the New Year to move out of the country...He discovered my plans to leave and then started telling me he wasn't going to let me go. I told him he hasn't given me any reason to stay & it went back and forth like this until the week before I was to fly (end Feb.2008). He made one last phonecall to me to tell me how much he HATED me!

    It's been a year since I last called him, but my heart still belongs to him...I am in the mid-east and about to go back home the week after his b-day. I am so scared about running into him knowing how I still feel...Any advice anyone?

  • Hi whitewings,

    Does it still hurt then..? Sorry i don't have advise. After reading every post on here... lord help us all. Maybe if i knew earlier on what i am letting myself into i would have run away in time...

  • Hi everyone:

    As usual it's 4 am (and have still not gone to bed as once I start reading this forum, I'm hooked!). Let me warm up my coffee then tell you all my good news........

    By the way KarmaCutie: I don't go down every day now. But usually I see him when I first go into work. If he's not there, stupid me pines for him all day. But by some magic I find he will be there the next day, so we smile and I go up and we talk (for a few minutes - not 20 like we used to.)

    Anyway, let me tell you all my fantastic news. Friday I asked him if I should go over Saturday, and he agreed. So I was there 2 and a half hours. I take us coffee and his favorite cookies, and we talk, talk, talk. Mainly it's him who does all the talking. But we enjoy talking with one another. Anyway, all of a sudden he asks me if I like a certain kind of food, and I told him I hadn't had it for years. He asked if I had a barbecue grill. No, but my neighbors have. He'll bring the meat over and he'll cook it for me, and he'll bring his favorite wine as well...... I said to him "Are you actually going to come over?" He said "Well yeah, you said you hadn't had this food for years." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I told him not to say things he didn't mean. He said no, he was coming. (You see in the beginning when I was asking him to come, or go somewhere with me, just as friends, so I won't scare him off, he always used to make an excuse. So I stopped asking. I'd given up hope actually. And now that I don't ask any more, HE IS GOING TO COME GUYS.) He wanted to come the next day (Sun), but then he said that'd be too soon (he was right actually), so it's going to be in about 2 weeks time ('case he does have committments.) And then he was talking about this for a while. (I think you guys are right, Cancers tend to weigh us and test us, and ask us questions just to see what our response will be, and then they withdraw to make up their minds about us.) We were talking about something, and he said he should come and be my roommate. I said yeah, that would be nice. He said we could help one another with the rent. (Wow! wouldn't that be something!) The poor man is really struggling financially. As I said his sons don't work, his daughter is still going to college, so he has to pay all the bills! And then, when I told him I was right out of money and didn't have enough for my gas (to drive to Santa Monica afterwards), he offered to give me some. But of course I refused. I would never ask him for money, and payday is just around the corner. And then I remember it was my work colleagues birthday on Monday, and I didn't have enough money to buy her her present and card, he again volunteered. But again I refused. (Actually I knew I was going to get some money coming in on Monday, that's why, and the money came in.) Goodness, this was all too much to take in. All this time he's been very quiet, and all of a sudden he tells me all these things, and it's too much for me to take in. And then he'd asked me to leave about 10 mins before the other guy came to relieve him of his post, as he didn't want him to see me there (because of gossip), he walked me to my car, and even there he was chatting away (about the barbecue as well that he's going to do for me). And of course eventually the other guy comes and finds him there by my car, as he needed to get the keys from my guy.

    You know my head wasn't on my shoulders that day afterwards, as I was on Cloud No. 9. I was so happy with the way things were "progressing." When I went home I had to call my sister and tell her my good news. She's more down to earth than me, and said to wait until it happens, until he actually shows up at my place. But I know it will happen.

    jrd: thank you for your kind comments.

    Karmacutie: yes, I would marry this guy if he asked me tomorrow. By the way he's in his fifties, and I'm not far behind. But I don't think he wants a step-mom for his kids. He wants them to get a job and leave home so he can have his life back. Altough he's devoted to them, but he's so fed up having to do the grocery shopping and cooking every day. He's a great cook by the way. He's brought me some of the foods he's cooked. And tonight I cooked (especially for him actually) and will take it to him later on today. (Goodness, it's nearly 5 am!) Wouldn't that be great guys, if he moved in with me - as roommates, of course. I wonder why he asked me that question! But with him, I've realised not to take every thing he says seriously. 'Cause he blows hot and cold just like that, and has mood swings.

    And cappy2, I forgot what your question was. But if I go back to the previous page to look it up, I might lose all that I've just typed.

    To Londonlass54: if your psychics say he will come back at some point, then I believe he will. I don't know how these psychics know, but I believe them. They all said to me that in June things are going to start moving and he will open up to me about his feelings. Let's see. Him wanting to cook for me is a very good sign. Right? Comments please you guys. TELL ME HE'S INTERESTED.

    On that note I shall leave you all. The reason I don't visit this page every day (though I really would love to) is 'cause I work till 8-8:30 pm, and don't get home till maybe 9:30, and by the time I feed the cats, and do this and that, and then I put General Hospital on hold for one hour (on the DVR) so I'll watch it at 11:00 pm, and then Days.... and then I'm half asleep..... Yes, GH and Days and Y&R - must have my soaps every night. Like must see my Cancer friend every day. If I don't, by the end of the day I get so upset. But let's wait and see what's going to happen.

    I still haven't read all your posts. But it's so very interesting to read what everyone's been up to, and most importantly how our Cancer men have been acting.

    Gotta go now. It's 5 am.......

  • This post is deleted!

  • YAAAAY! Good for you Librachild! I'm so happy for you! Now he may use that line, "I'm cooking for you 'just because' you've never had this before". He's using this as an oppurtunity to feel you out some more. Now forewarning: he may not do the barbeque in two weeks like he said- they always take longer than everyone else. But I'm sure he will- once Cancer's say they'll do something, they feel obligated to do it- but on their time frame. So I wouldn't recommend a countdown or the two weeks will happen and you'll get upset...

    I try not to set myself up for getting upset, like before I text him something I ask myself, "would I get upset if he didn't respond to this?". Sometimes he'll send me cute texts in the middle of the night, but if I'm too tired to think of a cute response back- I won't respond. Then he'll ask if I got it when we're together! Got to keep him on his toes.

    j3d: I was reading a little bit of that Rori Raye stuff and she sees that whole 'friends' thing as a red flag. And it is. Maybe do as CancerCan and pull away and show him how you really treat 'friends'-does he ever take you out? I hear alot of him coming over, you going over... You need to make it clear your body is not just for 'friends'! He'll respect you for it- trust me!

    It's easy to get caught up in wanting to give our sweet Cancers anything they ask for, but they like that we do think for ourselves first. My Cancer would ask me to send him naughty pics on the cell, but I never do that for guys who are not my boyfriend. Even though him and I have been intimate, I still refused (In a nice way) and he goes, "I like that!". He likes that I give him hurdles to jump. He's not my boyfriend, so he doesn't have full access. As women we love to 'clear the runway', so to speak- it must be in our DNA or something. We want to make things as easy as possible for them to be with us, but giving them hurdles to jump- it gives them a chance to prove themselves worthy of you. I've had guys in the past I was EXTREMELY attracted to that I threw easy hurdles at, but they didn't come through and I am so happy that they're not in my life now. If they're not doing anything for you (and just for you) they are showing they have nothing to contribute to the relationship. So Cancer's defense tactic is good, it weeds out people who aren't worthy- and we need to do the same.

  • Hi everyone, Hope everyone had a good weekend.

    Mine was ok but I almost text him. To much to drink Saturday night and I miss him. But I refuse to give in.

    jd3, It sounds to me like he was jealous. There was a time I was with J and told him about how I reconnected with a friend of mine on face book. Told him that this friend was acually a really good friend. And J cut me off, he didnt want to hear about me reconnecting with a guy I used to be dating. I didnt finish the story because, for one I didnt want to make him think I was trying to make him jelous(which I wasnt) and 2 because I didnt want to hurt him.

    When they like you they will act jealous but try very hard not to show it.


    Im happy for you. and I agree with karmacutie. Dont get upset if it doesnt happen in 2 weeks. Thats just how they are. J would always make plans and not follow through till sometime later. But ( and I hope this doesnt happen to you) he would also make plans and not follow through ever. That was one of the big reasons I ended things. When we were together and I would leave for the night he would say thigs like, call me tomorrow we will do lunch or something. Then I would call/text him and get no response till that night or the next day. And there was always an excuse like he didnt look at his phone till then or it died or he lost it and couldnt find it till now.

    If I was expecting someone to call me I would have my phone were I could hear it go off.

    Im not saying he wont follow through at all. But dont be heart broken if he doesnt.

    J also likes to cook. In fact he always cooks for his mom and kids. And sometimes his sister and on of her daught ers show up and eat there too. He is very good, I love his food. He talks about different things he's cooked and how he did it and what he used. LOL he always made my mouth water.

    A friend of mine ran into him the other day and he talked about how we should all get to gether and grill. And my sister and her daughter ran into him at the store 3 days ago. Im so glad its not me running into him. Cuz I would give in and probly start seeing him again. It will take some time I think before I can get strong enough to not fall for him again.

    He acts like everything is still the same. ugh, I dont think I got through to him.

  • I am in love with a cancer man and reading about everyones experiences has just helped me understand this man so much more...thanks everyone for sharing...its made me feel so much better about my relationship and where its going....I feel like there is hope after all

  • Hiya All

    ANY psychic insight 4 me n my fireman cancerian??? march 10 here n he is a june 25

    thanx all

    😉 u guys r the best!

  • Hi Bentestoker, i agree... these guys are the best. Since i started reading this forum i have learned alot. Just wished i knew all of this before i met Mr Nice Cancer guy. Sure as hell would have saved me a lot of pain and tears. Well i send him one last text today. Just as a friend... hahaha... well i haven't expected any reply... so there you have it. I guess three weeks was enough to get over whatever bothered him...... if he does come around again i would carefully reconsider and he will get a piece of my mind... even if that means he is going to be gone for good then. Talk of selfish... grrrr. And they are the ones claiming to be sensitive, genuine, loyal and sincere...... ahhhhh bulldust.... i have activated my profile on the dating site again and i do hope he gets the message... Go well my new friends. THank you all

  • whitewings (and everyone else cause we're all more or less experiencing the same phenomenon)

    doesn't it seem clear that he's begging you to play hard to get? but then he ultimately wants you to give in to him. you played, which got him to try and get you back, but then you didn't give in, which made him hate you. I really feel that when a cancerman plays games, it's because he DOES love. Whereas other signs play games when they don't really care. i think they hooks us 2 ways: the emotional withdrawal triggers an addiction reflex, while at the same time, deep deep down we sense that his feelings are real. Just my kooky babling to help me cope? Bet KP's bf is a cancer!!

  • This post is deleted!

  • Hey Y'all

    Checking in wiill tell my weekend story in a bit I am trying to be domestic right now. I need a maid LoL.

    Glad to see we have new member in our flock!

    London Lass: You knocked me to 3rd place in "age ranking" ha ha

    Be back in a bit!

Log in to reply