Cancer man, and he is confusing

  • waterman>> am difficult to deal with. That is probably why i am still single at 30. We hold standards that are way too high even for ourselves. In the same way, we still act like we are 12. Balance is the key for a Cancers life. Otherwise, we are unpredictable.

    Sandran712>>I am difficult to deal with also..And I must have a higher standard for relationships.As I never been married yet at 46.So hurry up and catch up with me...LOL

  • pbcup>>Is it normal for a Cancer man to want to keep his wife at home and away from others? My man seems to become upset when other men notice me. Is this why he tries to keep me under wraps so to speak

    Sandran712>>Yep if a Cancer Man is the controlling type.He sounds very controlling.If he was confident and not so insecure he could not care if you were seen in public.

  • No, it's not normal for Cancer man to keep his wife or significant other under wraps. If a Cancer is doing this, it means he is insecure. Either with your fidelity or his ability to adequately sustain the relationship. Cancer is the sign that nurture family and love relationships. When truly in love a Cancer can let go. He will be his partner's greatest cheerleader.

    I think there are defective people in all signs. Defective people are spoken about with distain. Ok, consider this. WHY are so many people affected by and worried because of the actions of Cancer. I believe it is because Cancers touches the heart and soul of people in a wholesome, refreshing way that no other sign does and when things go array people are mystified by the lost.

  • Sandran712-My standards are high too, I'm a Leo, I'm 48 and I have never been married. I didn't even date for 11 years because I was too picky...until cancer boy knocked on my door!

  • luazinha>>Sandran712-My standards are high too, I'm a Leo, I'm 48 and I have never been married. I didn't even date for 11 years because I was too picky...until cancer boy knocked on my door!

    Sandran712>>I like that term Cancer boy..Mine being a Cancer dumbass...

    I am not sure if the standards are too high.I can't even get a date with a serial killer.That is how boring my life is..LOL And No I would not date a serial killer.Because..I think the intuition kicks in and I shove them out the door.This Cappy guy..I emailed him 3 times in the last 6 months.Am I suffocating him??LOL.This last time I emailed him Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday/His birthday 28th Dec.I can only hope that there is nothing wrong with my computer not letting the emails go through.Because I had this problem with the Cancer.I never received not one email fromthe Cancer.I stress to everyone..Emails Are Not reliable means of communication.

  • Sandran712- didn't you post that your standards were high? "..And I must have a higher standard for relationships.As I never been married yet at 46."

    I'm sure you wouldn't have to lower your standards down to a serial killer to get a date. How can 3 e-mails in 6 months be suffocating? I don't know about e-mails, sometimes they get lost in the spam file or get overlooked. I went back through my old e-mails and cancer boy had e-mailed me several times in 2007 asking me for my number and saying "I need to talk to you" but I had overlooked them. No wonder he came to my door instead! Yeah, cancer boy because he's 33 but acts like 15 sometimes, and when i met he he was only 19.

  • Luazinha>>No wonder he came to my door instead!

    Sandran712>>The Cappy knows where I live.He has been to my house.I never been to his house.But, from what I am hearing about Capricorn men I do not hold out hope of him coming back.I think about him all the time.But, he is not really good for me.He led the life of a bad boy.I get attracted to those kinds.

  • Sandran-so what are cappy men like? I've had one cappy guy, he got serious too fast and that turned me off. He was also very patronizing. This was 20 years ago but he keeps getting in touch with me to see what i am up to even though he is married now with kids.

  • Luazinha>>I've had one cappy guy, he got serious too fast and that turned me off. He was also very patronizing. This was 20 years ago but he keeps getting in touch with me to see what i am up to even though he is married now with kids.

    Sandran712>>I think he got serious too fast too.Because I meet him first time in 30 years.He couldn't wait to see me.Very persistant.We did not have sex.But,he spent about 5 hours with me.We had a good time visiting each other.We just kissed/heavy petting..And..then he acts like everything is ok.He leaves and that's it.I didn't want the kissing to go on as long as it did because it can lead to other things.I hardly knew him back in the day tho we were boy/girl friends.I wrote him an email afterwards that I was disappointed in myself.I was hoping things could develop between us.But, nothing from emails.I just find it weird after 1 visit.It is like he dropped off the face of the earth or something.No wonder A Cancer doesn't want to make an effort.I won't give up on men.But, as long as I am so cautious from being hurt all the time.I move too slow and guys won't come around anymore.Heck..I had the same scenerio with the Saggitarius and he stuck around for 5 months.He was seeing another..I felt it every time I was around him but, at least he was around alot longer.I didn't have sex with him either.But, in a different place and time we did and he was damn hot..LOL.The past means past for a reason.A Cancer needs to quit going back in the past.That is where we get hurt more times over..

  • OMG!!! is my first time reading all these...and the stories are similar or exactly the same as mine!!!DAMN!!...

    im very scared now!!...:(

    im 27yrs old....i met this cancer guy few months ago and we started 2b 'serious friend' 2mths ago!!...

    b4 i met him,my heart was cold n feelingless...but he was the one who started the freiendship..

    he came and 'try to get' me...and he was successful!! heart melted!!..i told him tat i like him..

    he gave postitive response...and we're officially knew tat we like each other very much when we hold hands for hours!!..**he was the one who started to touch me!!....he was so loving...extremely loving n caring...

    BUT...last few weeks everything changed...

    he suddenly stop all those more holding my hands,texts etc...whenever i hold his hands,he gave no response SO HURT!!...

    finally,i asked him...why u did tat to me? u like me?..

    he said..he likes me..but he is not ready yet...he said his heart still painful (heart broken due to previous relationship-a year ago)...and..he needs time to heal..but he donno til when!!...he said LETS B FREN!!...

    last week...we went out dating togather...positive thing->he still wanna go out with me

    he said...his heart now is empty n feelingless...

    he is trying to get tat feeling...WTF was tat???

    if he has no feeling...why he was so loving at the first place???...

    i asked him again last u like me?..and he answered-->WAT DO U THINK?...

    OMG!!! tat time..i juz said-->i'll wait 4u...he keep silent...

    but...the feeling is killing me now...:((

    i told him b4,if u dont like me..plz tell me directly now and i'll move on....but he just keep silent 2!!..

    now...he is away...he is visiting his frenz in europe!!...

    last few days,whenever i chat with him thru YM...he will end the chatting by saying he wanna sleep..he wanna eat blablabla...

    IM SO HURT...and cried everyday!!...yesterday was my bufday,he juz post a message on my FB at 12midnite..but not more than tat...!!i was missing him so much yesterday n i 'buzz' him at YM n chat little bit..and he end the sleep...

    bcoz of tat...from today onwards...i'll stop to chat with him etc...i wont buzz him anymore...

    he'll be back next week...and i donno wat should i do....

    i really hurt n scared!! a capricorn gurl...and if i leave him...i wont turn back!!...

    but if i leave him...its very dem painful 4me...another broken heart..:((

    should i wait for him...and xplore the 'gud-traits' of cancer??..should i wait till his heart healed n pray he'll be clingy and needy bf to me??

  • decflower>>if he has no feeling...why he was so loving at the first place???...

    Sandran712>>He has feelings.He is holding back.A Cancer is very emotional.We feed off of other people's feelings.He has intuition skills without you talking.You mentioned he has been hurt previous..He gets a feeling from you.He flashes back to being hurt.And he steps back.Alot of a Cancer's feeling has nothing to do with you personally.We are very moody and can change our mind/feelings at the drop of a hat.

  • RUNN!!!!!!! Run for your life, it's not worth the headache, find a stable man who can hold you down when times get hard, not run and hide when you need him most.

  • decflower-yeah, he has feelings, but cancer guys that have been hurt will pull back even i they were affectionate in the beginning. That happened to me too, my cancer guy got all mushy and affectionate with me last august and used to send me all these affectionate texts but now they are just friendly and short messages. But he still wants to see me, just holding back now, so i am also holding back. I found myself getting too clingy so I've let go. ..

    If you are going to gt hurt over his hot and cold behavior, I would suggest you let go but if you can handle it by understanding that it has nothing to do with you, you may want to wait and see.

  • If you decide to wait and see be prepared for more of the same. Is that what you really want? More confusion. I've dated a cancer for going on 3 years. It doesn't get better. If I knew then what I know now I would've cut out the first time he disappeared. It seemed like it hurt so bad back then, I was confused and didn't understand, now I am now use to it, everytime he does something exceptionally sweet, I forget that it means he will be leaving soon again, until he does. Do you want this for yourself, to get use to or numb to being abandoned for seemingly no reason? If so, follow the advice that I am sure you will recieve, about how hurt and sensitive cancers are and how you need to just accept bad behavior. If you want to find a man who will stand by you thick and thin good and bad.... keep looking. Know in your heart you did nothing wrong and that the mistakes that are being made are his. Don't hold your breath or tolerate less then mutual consideration from a loving man.

  • i just joined this site and have to say, i am SO relieved to see others are having the same problems i am with cancer guys!

    he and i both volunteered at the same establishment and, all of a sudden, got along really well one time when we were both staying late. so we exchanged numbers and he started txting me daily. pretty soon, he let me know he was attracted to me and said that we should hang out and that he "can't wait to see me". but after this, he missed all the volunteer days and informed me he was quitting because of his busy schedule... meanwhile he tells me over the phone about his female friend that lived close by to him that he was "thinking of asking out"... even though he clearly made it sound like he planned to ask me out! so i got mad at him, being the fiery scorpio that i am, and he said "i'm sorry, i really was going to ask you out but then i had to be realistic" (we live a distance away and are busy so it's hard to see one another). so i said, "well that's great. i guess it doesn't even matter if i'm mad at you because i'm obviously not going to get to see you anymore. you can just forget all about this." then he said "i never said i wasn't going to try and see you again and i never said i was going to ask her out, i said i was thinking about it"... which really doesn't make me feel better since they are the same thing in my mind. so, i didn't call or txt him for a week until saturday where basically i said that "i would like to get to know you better, but i don't want to put the effort into seeing you if you don't care that much. and i really don't want to see you if you're 'playing' me". so, he responded that those "weren't his intentions and that he didn't mean to confuse me"... that he "does care and thinks we should make the effort... but as friends because relationships can get complicated and can make people jealous".

    i guess it's pretty clear cut- he doesn't want to get tied down to someone who lives far away, especially when this other girl friend of his lives so close and is interested. but i'm so MAD that he started this with me in the first place when he had feelings for this other person... and that he worded it so it was all MY IDEA that we would have a "more than friends relationship" when HE was the one who initiated the whole idea!

    my question would be: is it even worth it at this point? i feel like we really made a connection and he seems like he cares, but i can't tell if he's just toying with my emotions and if friendship is even worth all this trouble...

  • You would have to answer that yourself. Is it worth it to you? He may play you both. Cancer men will take you on a roller coaster ride. With you being Scorpio this may turn into something emotionally intense so you would have to deicde that for yourself.

  • I don't think we can blame this man's self-centered behavior on his birth sign. This behavior is coming from a place deeper than that. Cancers can go through emotionals swings. But it is not because they are crazy, it's because they love so deeply. They put their heart on the table and when they are hurt (or preceived they have been hurt) by that constant exposure they become bruised. So somewhere in this person's life there is a lot of pain. But also a lot of disfunction, not astrology.

    What you need is a set of questions to ask prospective mates that will prevent you from being attracted to this type of man. You picked him to be with for a reason and you can do the same again without a plan. Or, you can blame it on him and suffer the consequencies of lover's ground-hog day by picking men like him over and over again. So write out ten questions to ask your prospective men. Center the questions around all the issues you have well documented above and questions to see it they fulfill some of your needs (hint, identify what you want, need, desire in your next man). Also, look for obvious signs. Love is blind, but there is no gain from this pain. If you prevent a mix-match from the start, you save yourself a broken heart.


  • thank you for your advice! i think i'm just going to play it cool and wait till he tries to contact me and work something out. otherwise, i'll move on and cut my losses before i ACTUALLY lose haha. i agree that people's character are determined a lot by their past experiences, but i've had similar problems with other cancer guys... and am going to try and avoid falling hard for him only to have my feelings unreturned. they seem to always play this game with you... like they really care but when it comes to actual commitment and planning, they dodge it like a bullet!

    anyway, thanks for the advice!

  • That's what I mean. That's totally not true of cancer in general. When a cancer acts like that they're acting out of cancerian character. Cancers grave love, commitment and family. Their life is devoted to becoming financially secure so that they can fulfill this purpose. So if your guy is not doing this he is not behaving like a typical cancer in love. Because you seem to be running into cancers with these same characteristics it means you're attracted to something about cancer but the ones you are chosing have similar issues.

    There are negative aspects of all signs. The reason people focus on the cancer's negatives is that they have such deep feelings that can be very good or very bad. Hard to duplicate that in the zodiac when it's combined with their nature affinity for love and devotion.

  • I definitely get both sides of the Cancer personality. I have a twisted relationship with a Cancer and the way he gets some times, OMG makes me want to beat him. He and I have known each other for many years and he's always shown the positive traits of his personality up until recently. He is protective, kind, gentle and very loving BUT he can also be moody, withdrawn and disappear for days. He throws himself into his work and longs for the family and home that so many crabs want. Only he doesn't know that he has to open up a little more with women to get that; he has been treated very horribly in the past and definitely pretends he is HARD and tough, like his shell, to protect his own heart but inside he is really just a soft and tender man.

    Recently, my feelings for this Cancer changed from merely platonic to a deeper romantic variety and he pulled way back for reasons known only to him. He says it was to protect me from being hurt, which fits into his protectiveness but at the same time, he tortures me with his crafty ways of keeping in touch and making sure I stay interested. I have tried to distance myself, only to have him reel me back in. I am a fish on a hook and he definitely enjoys dangling me along. One would think I would tire of the games but for some reason, I know he cares for me (and no, I am not fooling myself) and can't break free. What is a fish to do?

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