Cancer man, and he is confusing

  • I am curious why so many of us are feeling like we can't loose our tempers when we've been pushed too far, how elese will he know that he has crossed the line and his behaviour is unacceptable. It seems like a lot of ladies believe that they have to put up with a ton of garbage in order to be in a relationship with a cancer.

    The only relationship you will be entangled in if you don't respect, honor, and defend your boundries is a one sided, emotionally draining, masochistic one. If a man (no matter the sign) is requireng you to sacrifice yourself, with no intention of doing the same, nothing good can come of it.

    I have had knock down drag outs with my cancer, it is (I believe) why and how we were able to come to a mutally benifitial understanding. If someone is being mean and hurting you defend yourself . If they have a problem with that and you accept it, those will be the terms of your relationship until you finally free yourself from your self imposed chains. By then you will be bitter and accusing, still unaware of the part you played in your own misery.

    Love TRUE love can with stand the heat of hell's kitchen.

  • Hey everyone! Sexygem, I totally agree with you. I believe that there should be respect in a relationship concerning both paties, no matter what your sign is. ANYONE will drag drag you down if you let them, male or female. Maybe, if everyone starts respecting each others feelings, starts to be honest with themselves first, loves themselves and respects themselves before anyone jumps into a friendship or any kind of relationship, maybe half of the world would not be divorced right now!

  • Hi this thread caught my eye, I started reading it from the beginning and got to only page 22...but boy have I learned a lot! it seems like cancer men are very much the same, and somehow they have the ability to make us fall for them and go nuts, they are moody and can turn hot and cold. I don't feel so bad now, I'm not going to take it personally any more. I thought I did something to cause my cancer man to suddenly stop communicating with me and turn cold.

    I am having a long distance "thing" he calls me his "friend" although I have the most passionate experience with him that I've ever had, and I think I have fallen for him although I had no intention to in the beginning. We live in different countries in Asia, he is an airline pilot and flies to different countries but not to where I live. I saw him last in August and after that encounter things really heated up and he was contacting me almost every day, by text, skype, calls, and e-mails, very affectionate and passion exchanges, he was telling me he couldn't stand being away from me, had to see me, etc. He was supposed to go on vacation and come see me at the end of October. Then last week he suddenly turned cold and stopped replying to my texts. He had ALWAYS replied before. After 5 days I couldn't stand it any longer, so 2 days ago I just texted him "HI". He did respond, 2 hrs later, since he was flying. (stupid stalker me I checked the flight schedule once I knew where he was) but the text was very dry "In Beijing will get in touch" he had always ended the texts with "kisses" but this time that was it. So I thought, ok, he's between flights and he will text me when he got home. Two days later, no text no e-mail...I was distraught, until somehow the Universe led me to this thread. I kept going over and over in my head what I could have done to have him turn cold so suddenly after he was being so affectionate with me. No man has ever driven me crazy like this.

    I need to let him's hard, I had already had expectations of him since he said he was going to visit me. I want him to come back, miss me again like he said he did.

    Anyway, I found this thread very helpful. I could really relate to what most of you have posted on this thread. Tomorrow I am going back and reading more...

  • Ok , ok, I admit I came off a little strong the last time I left a post. Sorry 🙂 but it wasn't from anything particular on here, I was just venting that day. Ok, maybe some of it was, but who cares, right? Although, some posts caught my eye and I did read the responses I got from " That One." Some of you are right, I should help my fellow Cancer brethren. Then again , we have the brains to figure it out on our own. Trust me on that. I usually don't give advice because noone in my own personal life takes it anyway, and when I prove them wrong in the end, they still don't get it. So I offer thoughts or I have offered thoughts. The truth about Cancer definately comes from within ones Cancer self. Experiences, heartbreaks, traumas, friendships,hardships, sufferings, ups and downs, triumphs and falls. Think of it as all of these in a lottery machine spinning around. and one pops up . Well , that's where our mind is at that moment in time. Then, it continues to spin, like everyday. Just like the lotto. Beneath the surface of a Cancer, it is very deep, sometimes very dark, creative, imaginative, lonely, alone, happy, and sad. There is alot of,analization there about people ,places and things. Ever hear that fake laugh from a Cancer? Yeah, you're not that funny. Ever try to lie to a Cancer straight in his face? That'll never happen.Can smell a liar a mile away. Where most other signs, besides water, tend to just see what's on the surface, we tend to know what's beneath it, in all matters if that. Not just relationships. It could even be just the atmosphere or environment we're in.The positive Cancer can overcome any obstacle put forth in front of him. He /She is Strong, focused and disciplined.The Negative Cancer is his own worst enemy and is very self destructive. Know your Cancer. I have seen the best and the worst of both worlds and that's what it comes down to. There is a battle within us. Good versus evil. Now all you ladies can figure that riddle out! Good Luck and Happy Halloween! boooo

  • sexygem, I still get angry--it just doesn't pay anymore. We need to discuss problems in a calm manner to get the results that we want. We frequently use humor to resove conflict. I'm learning to treat him as my best friend, with honor.

    Fortunately, we don't avoid conflict; and, I'm just beginning to fathom how sensitive these wondeful creatures are. I don't want to push him over the edge into some dark abyss where I can't reach him. And, I don't want to get bent out of shape. I'm learning to express my feelings and needs in a mature and dignified manner, not like a child. He has very high expectations of me and I don't want to let him down. Cancers ARE very practical about whom they marry and they want harmony and to be understood by their mate. Besides, I'm becoming a better Being in the process.

  • Thanks for your input Waterman79. Yes, you are very deep and intuitive. Cancers can be very destructive when they don't feel wanted and used. You totally give of yourselves and are very nurturing and caring through it all, even if it's not readily apparent. Very complex, yet simple if you can unlock the key to your heart and soul. Good analogy about the water's surface.

    Better to forgive what happened in the past, that includes forgetting, lol. Be here now. Happy Dio de los Muertos!

  • Ughhh... my Cancer is still driving me crazy...but here's an update. He finally texted me! But, the thing was it was a picture of someone in a Halloween costume, since it's halloween, and he text me at midnight - 1am in the morning. Still no other responses or contact, he still talks to other people normally, just not to me. Not sure what's going on right now

  • Hey guys! I hope everyone is doing well. I just wanted to update and say that I finally got a committment from my Cancer! I didn't think it would ever happen, but it did. I told him of he wanted to date other people, that was perfectly fine, but I would no longer be able to see him. I just don't share. He said the choice was easy. He'd rather have Me.

    This is after 1.5 years of us seeing each other, so I just want to give hope to some of you out there that if you really love them and, assuming they are not treating you like trash, things can change for the better! But remember to respect yourself and know your boundaries and voice them, otherwise they will be crossed!


  • Hey Candiss,

    I know I was supposed to e-mail you AGES ago, but time goes so fast, esp. with all of these classes and work. Sheesh lol...hope you aren't too bummed, but I'm sure you're not! Wanted to say congrats on your cancer commitment. I've known my cancer for a little over a year so that gives me hope (which may not be a good thing lol). Keep us all updated on how things go! Good luck 🙂

  • I'll try to get striaght to the point...Cancers are a water sign so there is a sense of sensitivity there. It matters how they use it. They are very protective of themselves & others. They do not (ever) trust easily. I would put it...that have a sense of satisfaction that is different than others.

    They can seem cranky or crabby but I think it is their own sense of satisfaction kicking in. They are the crab! Ever notice how a Cancer the Crab can walk sideways just as quick forwards. Mohammed Ali is the perfect example. Also, they love their shell (home) just like the crab. They will not allow just anyone in their home (OR trust them with their belongings). That is their kingdome (Male or Female). Try giving them a compliment when it is really deserved. I dare you to!

  • Is it normal for a Cancer man to want to keep his wife at home and away from others? My man seems to become upset when other men notice me. Is this why he tries to keep me under wraps so to speak?

  • pbcup - mine does the same although i am not his wife!! I thought it was something to do with him not wanting to be with me - but now i am starting to think quite the opposite - as he always notices when other men notice me - but I don't! We are working it out though - through honesty and time... but not so sure about your situation.....

  • hiprincess

    I would not mind so much if he didn't leave me alone so much. I need to go out; I need attention. I feel abandoned. I need more.

  • What is so bad about women that men are so afraid of us? of committing to us? is the concept of living happily ever after only in a female head? if so, why would God do that to us? it's just plain mean. by the way men act you would think we were all nagging, nasty, horrible people looking to trap a man. it ain't so.

  • bluewatermamma - that is such the perfect statement!!!!! It could be the nagging nasty horribles are giving the rest of us a bad name...

    pbcup - I know how you feel - this is exactly the issue me n mine have had all year - but now he is involving me in everything - i have no idea how this happened - I think it changed when I opened up more to him.... But in your case I really don't know...... I feel your pain..... SUCKS!!!!!!

  • my cancer man and i were in a long distance relationship, i was so convinced that he was in love (even tho he did hid his emotions a lot) i was always loving and caring and needy to his liking. everything seemed great... untill one day when he was leaving to go back home he just stoped calling me, 3 days went by and then he ended our relationship on facebook. he didnt talk to me for weeks, he called me today to tell me to tell a friend that he was coming to the city and gave me his train time... he could have done it himself. i asked him why he broke up with me and he said i was too "needy and clingy" (i thought cancers loved that!) and i know i was never tooo needy i made sure of it. he said i was crazy and stalking him... but hes the one who wouldnt let me get off the phone, everytime i hung up he kept calling me back telling me to leave him alone!! i dont get it!! he kept antagonizing me calling me "baby" and talking about his new girlfriend (who i am 99% sure doesnt exist) i dont know what to do or think... im beyond confused!! why is he doing this to me?! im trying to get over him... but i cant!! and he knows it... the last thing he said is "you know you cant stop talking to me" and i said "watch me" and hung up... then he texted me saying "thank you baby, please prove me wrong. i love you" (he was being sarcastic btw cuz he knows that annoys me) WTF IS GOING ON?! CANCER GUYS SUCK!

  • extra info if it helps? hes a cancer, scorpio rising, and aries moon

  • I haven't been on here in awhile, but I was curious to see how all relationships continue to be screwed up by Cancer men. I am one. Although my opinions differ from most, read some of my past posts. I gain knowledge from everyones input. As a Cancer man, i am difficult to deal with. That is probably why i am still single at 30. We hold standards that are way too high even for ourselves. In the same way, we still act like we are 12. Balance is the key for a Cancers life. Otherwise, we are unpredictable.

  • waterman-so how do we deal with you cancer men?

  • Dalia>>Might want to set a definite time frame on this one

    Sandran712>>A Cancer doesn't like ultimatiums.Or pressured for that matter.If we have been hurt in a relationship.It takes time to get over it.And no amount of pushing to get over it will matter.Remember we like to live in the past.Just talking and reassuring us will help.But it is a healing process.

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