Cancer man, and he is confusing

  • Hey Candiss,

    I also dated a cancer (for 5 years) and gradually he became more distant and eventually he broke up with me. I was heartbroken and after 3 months still am. He got affraid because I started talking about living together, etc and he didn't know what he wanted with his life while I was seeing a future together. He said we would stay friends and he loves me and never wants to lose me and blablabla. Now three months later we're still talking and meeting up like friends, but it still hurts. Whenever I ask him about it (Every three weeks or so I can't take it anymore and ask him) he says he likes the situation like it is now and starts talking about something else. Never knew relationships can be so hard 🙂 For the moment I'm trying to not initiate any contact so I can heal although it is hard to do. He's used to having me around so maybe I should stop acting so friendly. Maybe you too can try to take some distance and see what happens. I wish you the best

  • This is bogus! I'm sick of how everyone is picking apart Cancers. I am a cancer . I'm proud of it. I know every trait that a cancer holds. We're just sick of being burnt by those that have no heart. So FUCK em!

  • Figure that out! And by the way all you women that complain about your Cancer man , F u , there is a reason , always a reason why, before you point the finger, there are 3 pointing back at u! Speak up sometimes, because we are not afraid. We can't just guess what the fuck you're thinking all the time. Say what's on your mind.

  • Well now WaterMan, that pretty much sums it up. Makes sense to me!

    I'm a Gemini and proud of it and we are suppose to be simply impossible to understand, not so if you get to know us, so I kind of understand how you feel. It's not all about birth signs, its about men/woman relationships in general. Your only as good as the partner your dancing with no matter what sign he/she was born under.

  • Oooh Candiss...I feel your pain lol. I'm a 21 y.o. Virgo and the Cancer I'm hooked on is 27. His "ex" (unfortunately this is debatable...I can only laugh to keep from crying lol) is 29 and also decided she wanted to send me messages telling me about how they've been together and what they've done. Needless to say it was hurtful and pathetic considering her age. There's much more to this story so if you want to go into it, send me your e-mail! 🙂 I sometimes wonder if it's worth it...there's only so much astrology can say about this...and there's only so much gender differences can speak for, as well. It's an individual situation, but I love that everyone on here is so helpful. I'm trying to find the balance b/t my heart and head and it's a mess!

  • @WaterMan79 LOL:DLMAO... thats a trait we have awesome..dont set us back though. I think you mean we react to things strongly and sometimes over react. but your right .. usually when we act a certain way its in reaction to something our partner has expressed

  • You know Waterman79 you hit the nail on its head. All through this thread have you summed up whats lacked. The lets sit down and TALK and LISTEN.

    Ladies I KNOW many o you have tried, but timing the way its asked lets talk gives any the chills n the o.OOOOO effect.

    NONE is a mind reader.

  • Hey leoheart1098!

    I am a Leo too! So I can imagine if you're anything like me Patience is not our strong suit but when it comes to Cancer Men, (especially when they've been hurt in the past) Patience really is the best Advice to give. I must say I stopped I initiating contact with my Cancer and it only took ONE DAY before he was texting me and sending me random pictures. The past week has been amazing ever since. No distance, no withdrawal, none of that. We've spent almost every day and night together since then. He says that his biggest issue with me is that I always seem to find the negative in things he does or says instead of the positive, and he just wants to be with me when I'm happy b/c that makes him happy. So I consciously started being the girl that is easy to be around an it's worked thus far. In the back of my head, I still wonder of he's seeing other ppl but I try to block it.

    Hopefully this helps and this works for you as well! I realize no matter how much I try to pretend, I REALLY do care for and want to be the woman he falls for!

    I wish you the best of luck!

  • hey lf245706!

    Wow. Your story sounds really similar to mine. You are absolutely right that it is based on the individual person and Astrology can only go so far. I just find it amazing how similar all of our stories are! I would Love to hear your story! is my email!

  • FYI- For those expressing anger and frustration about what we have to say about our experiences with Cancer Men, it is not necessary. That is what this forum was about if I am not mistaken. It would be nice, for those who have so much insight into the way Cancers think and behave, to help and give their advice. I am a Leo and I'm sure if I went to a forum about Leos, it'd say things like we're vain, attention whores, etc. Instead of getting upset by it, i'd try to help ppl understand why we give off that impression instead.

  • LOL waterman, why are you freaking out? Obviously conversations are not the problem for anyone on here. They're always talking to their cancers, that doesn't matter. Why are you getting mad at them because they are all being treated the same way? If you want to help your fellow cancer brethren, then just give them advice.

  • @Waterman: its not like we haven't tried talking to our Cancer men, it's just that when we do talk to them, they either avoid us, or don't answer us clearly. As for myself, I am a straightforward speaker. And when I tell how I feel about my Cancer guy to him, he gets defensive and won't answer right away. Or when he does answer, he reacts the exact opposite of what he says!

    I know a lot of people say if you know what your Cancer guy wants, you don't have to ask him for what he wants. Yes I know what my guy wants, but it's the case of what do I need to do to let him know, or how? And that's confusing, cause he is really unresponsive to most things.

  • My Cancer gives very ambiguous answers when I ask him anything. When I ask very straightforward questions that require a simple yes or no, I always get a whole metaphor that in no way answers my question. I believe this is his way of "answering" my question by being misleading, without technically lying. And Yes, I call him out on this everytime. It Doesn't help.

  • @Candiss...I've experienced that beating around the bush type answer thing too. Take for instance when I straight up asked my cancer guy "what is our relationship to you? what is your relationship with your ex? should i just move on from you, because i will if that's what you think is best?" i did not get one answer...i would much prefer someone be direct with me even if it hurts my feelings immediately rather than hurting my feelings in the long run by unnecessarily dragging something out. i mean, just answer the question! he's a guy, you know how they are when they feel cornered...and i'll be emailing you my story soon since our situations sound so similar, i'm just getting swamped over here with midterms!

  • Waterman & Maria!!! I agree with Maria, Waterman, we love you here, you should know that you've been helpful to us before! Breath baby, we know it isn't ALL cuz you dude's are cancer's but I'll be danged if I've ever seen so many chicks try to figure out one type. I tell myself a lot of the time that "it can't just be blamed on him being a cancer" you must admit with 150 pages here alone and several other threads it IS uncanny how similar you guys are.

    None the less I have appreciated every time you've reached out to us girls here as a cancer man. We don't mean to be b i t c h y, as for myself I have NEVER, EVER LOVED A MAN TO THE EXTENT I do my cancer and I just want to understand how or why he acts or doesn't act like he does.

    Please don't be mad at us?!!

  • One other thing to all...the times I HAVE point blank asked him things pertaining to our status it sends him into his shell, or he gets a big head thinking I can't live without him or something along those lines. With my guy, I have learned that to find out what I want to know, be quiet, he always tells me or shows me...

    My guy has made me doubt myself and do and say some crazy a$$ things that I never thought would come from me!!!! Deep down I KNOW he loves me and does care deeply for me, y'all just have a way of makin' us nuts LoL!

    Love and White Light to you all!!!

  • Cancer men come the line of "worlds most Intersting man". We are what you women would consider Mysterious......;-) I take full advantage of this

  • I dont think cancer men are confusing. We are the confused ones because we dont get him and his ways n traits. So the misconception is laid when we claim my cancer is confusing. well no im confused over his ways lol

    now ill back up hermit crab and embrace the mystery, I as pisces am a huge mystery myself so there ! LOL

  • Hi Paulaj - My confusing and irritating Cancerian IS named Patrick, he's in the Army, currently deployed to Bondsteel and is due home in Nov. My experience with my Patrick is proud of the fact that he always has what he calls an "ace in the hole, just in case"! In my experience with my Patrick, he's been known to stray, both online (joining dating sites etc) as well as offline.

    I sure HOPE we aren't sharing the same Patrick! If we are, we need to talk, I'm done with my Cancer named Patrick, he's pushed this Leo too far so I'm moving on, but I can give you some important warnings and advice, should he turn out to be the same guy 🙂

  • I broke things off with my Cancer today. Things have been going good as of late and I can tell he's really been putting forth a lot of effort, BUT the day before yesterday he was M.I.A. that night. Immediately I thought he was with someone else. The next afternoon, he finally text back, I asked what happened to him the night before, he said he went to bed early. He's a habitual night owl. I know he wasn't in bed by 10pm. Does he think I'm stupid? I woke up this morning and out of nowhere I couldn't stop crying. I called him hysterical just saying I would never be able to get past what he did. I mean, it's not like he was just with another woman and that was it, he was with her the ENTIRE Year and a Half we've been together. I'm like, if she would've never broken things off with you and told me what was going on, you would've NEVER said anything; he said "You're right, I wouldn't have said anything, b/c she meant nothing and although we'd hang out and did sleep together, the relationship I had with her was nothing worth talking about". WTH!?!

    So anyway, he finally gave me a REAL apology and he really finally understood how I truly felt. After I got off the phone, he kept apologizing, but I didn't respond. I lasted about 6 HOURS, and then I couldn't do it! I text him saying "I'm not going anywhere, I'm not going to leave you" and he responded with ":-) Gooooooood". I can't help but to feel pissed that in the end he always gets his way! BUT, things have been really good with us, and he does make me happy, so I want to give it a try for now. I know I do not love him anymore, but I care for him so deeply, and I know he feels the same way. The biggest task is me getting over his "other woman" and moving past it for good. I'm scared another one will come along and I'll be right back in the same position. It's like everyday I'm waiting for him to stray and I HATE IT. While Although we are NOT in a committed relationship and have never been (he's a Cancer, we all know they don't do commitments!) I'm a LEO, and We don't SHARE!

    I'm planning to move to Miami ( I live in Atlanta) by next Fall, so I figure I'll enjoy his company with no pressure of a relationship, while I'm here (since this seems to be ALL he's looking for), and then come next year I can be FREE from this roller coaster. It's funny though, because when I expressed to him that I was moving, he responded "What does that mean to me but simply distance? I don't see you leaving as being the end of "us" and it's going to be really hard for me to see you go". <<< <they know="" exactly="" what="" to="" say="" get="" you="" don't="" they???="" ughhhh<="" p=""></they>

    @If245706 Take your time emailing me, focus on your midterms! Good Luck with those, I miss being in School- I can't wait to start Grad School next year (its why I'm moving to Miami)!

    Hope Everyone is doing well, Take Care!

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