Cancer man, and he is confusing

  • CC- i gave you the wrong birthdate i guess I was combining his and mine. his is 7/10 and mine is 11/6. We both equal 8!

  • CC: no worries on screaming ovaries. gives me the shot to mail and tell him what he AGAIN did to them lmao

  • Okay, so they said they're fixing this thread. Nice, except now I think the whole forum is going to explode.

    Wow, I cannot believe that the same thing is happening with so many of you. It's happening to me, too. So I guess it must be in the stars....? I don't know why this time was any different from the other times, but I just snapped and I don't want to put up with this anymore. I don't think someones star sign is an excuse to treat people like their feelings don't matter. I would never put any decent human being through this, so there's no reason why I should have to.

    WaterMan, I see what you're saying, and maybe that would work if these Cancers actually did have plans with us in the future. But the impossible part is finding out if they actually do, or if we're holding on for nothing. I think this is the part where these men have to raise their voices or they're losing every single girl they refuse to communicate to.

  • WaterMan79: I told my Cancer, "I have a hard time finding any other guy even remotely attractive....". I was so shy about it, I could barely look at him! Boy did his smile grow a mile wide. A little less intense than "I love only you", but that's really what I meant. Do you think he got the picture though?

  • Hi ladies. Sorry I have been gone so many days. Work has been nuts but so have I. I got in a habit of chking my horoscope and doing tarot cards on line and what thye were telling me was upsetting me and i finally freaked out on Jaime and told him if he didn't want us to be together that he had an out. He asked me what was freaking me out. I told him and he said that those were only for guidance nto to live by them. That is whne i stopped reading them all together and I got a book called the secret and I have been happy with my cancer ever since. I wish the best for all of you. I am going to be in classes to get certified so I can go to Iraq and become his wife and we can start our adventure together.

  • Hey everyone! Here's my latest in the saga regarding my Cancer guy's health issues AND the fact that he has completely ended all contact . . . until a few hours ago (I guess I'll learn!) Remember that I've never been in a "relationship" with a Cancer so this is new territory for me.

    Brief synopsis; prayed for him, met him, we BOTH fell for eachother, he has been ill for over a year with no accurate diagnosis and thinks he's dying, because of this has broken off all contact with me as "I deserve someone better!"

    Cappy got me hooked on the "pendulum thing" just this past week. I kept getting that my guy would contact me Saturday the 27th after having absolutely no contact since he broke all ties last Saturday the 21st. Guess what?! He emailed me early this morning Saturday the 27th at 1:38am. I was happy to hear that he is being tested for just about everything including Celiac Disease (which actually came to me in prayer which I passed on to him - at least I know that he actually read my email since he told me that "all of my further contact would be in vain!") I FEEL that he will have an accurate diagnosis by the end of July. In his email this morning he says that we should know what he has in the next 30 days. Sounds like we're on the same page anyway.

    This is where I'd love your input. By the way; after having been "off" for the past 6 weeks, which is when he contacted me, I just reactivated my profile last night. His profile is hidden but it's apparent that he has been checking to see my "status" on the site. Is it any wonder as to why he contacted me again? Is he now realizing that I am actually moving on (of course my heart is still stuck with him and will be for some time I'm afraid!) and that he's now really concerned?

    His last words to me in this morning's email are "You deserve a healthy man with his life on track. You are a beautiful soul with so much to offer. I am so sorry I had so little to offer you. Maybe one day when I get better, get back on payroll and get my life together, God will bless me with such a wonderful woman like yourself. I have been praying for you inspite of my sickness and broken heart." I have been absolutely agonizing over how and IF I should even respond. Is this simply a ploy because he is so full of insecurity and is testing me or what?!?! I am so over-analytical and it's driving me crazy.

    What do you guys think?! Thanks so much for the time and for the consideration!

  • 2knowme! i'm an 8 too!!! i also am 45, my b'day is 8/26. thus i'm the lonely Virgo here still hanging in with my cancer guy! tomorrow is his b'day, and i am too meet the kids for the 1st time, i am nervous! never made peach cobbler, but i have every other kind! i got so mad at almost 3:00 a.m.! i was a good girl and didn't go out after work the way i used to and i went ahead and did my manicure & pedicure for the week. well my phone starts vibrating all over the place. j had called me an hour prior and that message just came in! he said call him. well, i did but he was asleep. so i texted him.

    he is getting good at waiting an hour or two after my shift ends on the weekends to contact me when he is at home with the rugrats 😉 i love it! i also want him to knowi don't have to go out and shake my groove thing every night, so i can gain his trust even more. i love him and i am sure he knows it, but to me actions speak volumes. he does trust me as well. i will try to get in touch later, or maybe he will.

    waterman-wish i'd known you were on here, i couldn't go to sleep after the missed msg. my dander was up at the cell provider, so it was almost 6 a.m. before i slept! ugh! anyway, not long ago i thought he was ignoring me, once again, my cell provider was dropping texts & VM

    s both ways, so i sent him a text that he DID get and it said something to the effect that i loved him with everything that i am and i didn't understand why he was ignoring me. i hope that counts as telling him i love him. and like karma, i have told him no one can come close in comparison to him. i do not normally just say it, nor does he but once again it is our actions. he has been so sweet and loving to me since that happened. as far as the going to the bar, we both go a good bit. but we luckily have trust and even though we flirt and talk we don't feel as if we must justify our actions to each other because at the end of the day if we aren't in each other's arms we are on the phone. i know i sound like a fruit loop if my posts from two weeks ago are remembered. is there anything else i can do to make him know?

    maria: so you took your power back too?! 3 is the charm! i wish you love and luck also. i made up my mind after that traumatic weekend i had not long ago that if we can't continue on as good as we have since then i just don't see myself sitting around for years putting up with his swings! i don't think he realized the true depth of my feelings and that he could hurt me so, so badly when he pulled his stunt with the friend coming over and not clarifying it for me. he has been an angel 97% of the time since. but i can't go through that pain more than one more time? i have to learn that i am worthy of being loved and for the town player to have actually fallen for me IS possible, heck-everyone else sees it. i am just critical of myself in the area of love-i haven't been lucky.

    i get what you say too about someone's star sign too. i catch myself starting to say - oh, he's a cancer-like that is the whole ball of wax; and not everyone puts much stock in these areas. thank God my best friend kind of does or she'd be running from me ROFLMAO-i have said that to her!

    how in the world did you get in touch with them about the forum? i was looking for a contact point myselfTHANK YOU! come to facebook with us? KMJessica is the best place to go find us all.

    jzzr: COOL! isn't it so uncanny how all these cosmic things come together. good luck!

    anteboo-you too!

    well, i just called Jeremy and talked a minute! he's a sweetheart! i asked what he was doing up so late last night when he called and he said, "i actually had woken up and wanted to talk to you" YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • jzzr-i just re-read your post, and in answer to your question. first you have to remember that men are programmed from birth to be the providers and moneymakers and when they can't they feel less than worthy. (Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man-Steve Harvey) in that book he also says that one way a man may determine whether a woman is a keeper or not is the way in which she shows her support of him in a time like that, also, if she has or makes better money, to watch how we handle ourselves as well. also the fact that he mentions when he is back on payroll says a lot to me.

    i don't profess to know it all, but back in '04 i became very ill myself and it was nearly a year to diagnose-a rare genetic blood disorder-and i tell you from experience with health issues; without a diagnosis and with your body turning against you the fear is beyond overwhelming! you think to yourself. what if i AM dying, will anyone ever know why? should i make sure and make my peace and get my house in order TODAY? and all the while, you are hoping and praying and HOPING it isn't true, you aren't on death's door because you aren't done living i making any sense? i hope so, i am trying to be helpful to you.

    see, most adults don't like having to become so dependant on anyone, and i am not clear what exactly his symptoms are, but if he can't work right now, it's bad i'm sure. i wasn't even able to brush my own teeth or bathe myself at one point i was so ill.

    i don't want to make this about me, that isn't it. and i am going to stop now, i hope i may have conveyed something like what he could be feeling.

    now the question is do you love him enough to see him through? i think you do, and if so you will have to have patience with him. there is also a lot of self pity involved in these kinds of situation. once they can find out anything i am sure his outlook will change. so no, i don't think it's a ploy on his part. this man is going through hell and to me i'd say hurting even more because he does love you but he is totally hopeless right now....

    my prayers are with you both! keep me posted. and please if i sounded harsh, that isn't my intent. i was kind of re-living some of my own fears while typing this. 🙂

  • antbeetoo-sorry i misspelled

    one more thing jzzr-all the crap going through his mind is compounded by feeling horrible on top of it....

  • Hey CC, thanks so much and no you were not too harsh!

    Yes, I do really love this guy unbelievable as it sounds since we only recently met. Lightning has definitely struck both of us, really. I truly understand and can certainly appreciate how tough it is for him right now . . . that's why I tried to tell him that I had no intention of going anywhere. I can be the Rock of Gibraltar when it comes to strength (most times anyway!)

    Here's what I did and I feel really good about it actually AND just received a nice response from him. I responded after roughly 16 hours and emailed him thanking for entertaining my Celiac Disease possibility as well as opening up communication letting me know how he was actually doing. Regarding his comment about me deserving someone better and "hoping that God will bless him with such a wonderful woman like me" when he gets better . . . I simply said "He already has! I'm right in front of you!" I told him that I missed him and our conversations. He said that he missed me too and would let me know when he feels better.

    He also commented on my pictures on so he definitely knows that because of his pushing me away I've gone back on it. My heart's not really in it but . . .

    Thanks again!

  • did y'all notice mariaria started a part 2 to this thread? also on it one of the mods or admin's came on that one and posted that they almost have the pagination problem for this one corrected and commented how impressive 119 pages was. so we aren't getting shut out!!! Yay!

    jzzr: good!!! i am going to try and research celiac disease...i know what you mean about lightening striking you! i have been struck and now i'm stuck!!!! it isn't unbelievable. i was married and had a child 24 years ago, and i did not love that man the way i do this one!! and i thought my son's dad was IT!

    bente: you are a crazy girl!!! ;+)

    2knowme: i am practicing my peach cobbler as we speak! i went out at supper and got to the farmer's mkt. before they closed and got some gorgeous peaches. we have a full kitchen here at work and things are SSLLOOWW-like a cancer man hahahah! so my co-worker agreed to keep up with things while i put it together and is gladly going to be my lab-rat! so, hopefully this will be right the first time!

  • HEY! It's MOM

    Has everyone been behaving? : )

    I have to thank each of your for all the support and nice things you have said to and about me these past few days. CC told me she gave you an update or two and for that I am many people to say thigns to and to thank personally. Just know that I read and caught up with every one and ....Geez....someting is really happening here. It's a real cupcake ehre but with only about three (mostly two) ingerdiants. Either things are 1. as good as they can be ---never better or 2. I'm not taking this anymore. I never remember being treated so badly not would I have ever imagined I would stand for it as long as I have. My psychics and Pendy says he is miserable and knows its his fault and wants me back and is going to do something about that soon. Trouble is....I fear he will do it all over again and I cannot be hurt that way one more time. I did everything he asked and look where it got me....~ ! All of you know how I was about him...but I have to tell you...When the last straw comes's over. I , too, am back on and I hope he sees me and that it eats his heart out. Sorry to sound so mean but he put me through hell these past months and I just took it because so much really bad junk was going on with him... But as our founder Mariaria says....that is no excuse to teat someone so terribly and with such disrespect. If I had not stood up for myself Thursday night I would have lost all respect for myself. ....I just wouldn't stand for it so I did what I did....what I had to. But that is history...

    The news now is that I have been great! Really. I feel that I will have a new beginning with someone worthy. IT won;t happen over night but I like myself again for the first time in months. I realized tonight that I never laughed when I was with him...everything was always such a downer. That just isn;t who I am and I was drowning in it. I could never live that way after having a teate of it. my own defense...I was tricked. HE was Incredibly wonderful in the much so that I came to wonder what happened to that man and who was this stranger that took his place!

    Waterman -- I am so glad you came back. I think that hearing your thoughts and how you cancers perceive the things we do will help those haning in their with their guys. Since approximately 1/24th of the world population are male Cancers.... I would guess that many are married and have loving wives who adore them so ....I suppose....its all about each on an indvidual basis. I pray my ex cancer-guy learned his mistakes with me and will not make them again with the next woman in his life. I really care and want him to find just who he needs and becomes happy...possibly for the first time.

    I love you all...will not go far or long as I really do feel you are all my babies! I pray that each of you...including you, Waterman.....find the happiness you want and deserve. IF you are blue and need a pep talk...I'll be right here for you.

    So many people I was to say things to but didn;t take notes but do recall, Jzzr, that I thought ...he read your email. Probably several times. I have something almost as good as the pendulum if you will just contact me. Do not want to go into it here. I left my email for you once would be extremely helpful to you....nothing like the pendulum...totally in the IT type of thing.

    Or you can find me through Km Jessica (be sure to put a space when you hunt on FBook.) We are all there.

    Its been a long day at the pool with my 2 and 3 year old babies...daughter and her hubby have been almost as much fun as my babies! ITs really hot here in GA....we cooked on the grill and this evening we realized both the upstairs unit andn down stairs as welll are not keeping up! The temps in the house are rising as the thermostat goes down. Tomorrow will be hell but the day is planned at my friend's we were at a club pool so the little ones would have others their age. I laughed so hard at their antics and just plain CUTENESS! I must post new pics on Facebook!

    Everyone....sleep well...Peace and Light to you...I will be back soon......Promise! Be happy for feels good to have that burden and weight lifted....I only wish him the best as I am sure he does for me.

    X X X X


  • jzzr- when me and my Cancer broke up for a short time, I went back on a dating site. I had gone out on a couple of dates but, I kept thinking about him and if not right after the date, soon after, I was texting my Cancer. It was like the dating made me miss him more. I got into doing art projects instead. Much better for me. I think your becoming a very good support person for your sick Cancer. He will try to push you away again because he doesn't want to be a burden to your life. Tell him if you were sick instead, you would hope that he would be the kind of friend you are and stay. That what does not kill a relationship, makes it stronger!

    CC- Lawrence and I actually are a Destiny #9 with our birth year added in. He is definitely the older soul. I've actually said " Yes Daddy" to him before.

    Looks like your relationship is on an upswing. I'm glad. These men are a test of patience and judgement. They are almost like hunting for some elusive creature and once you find them, trying to figure out how to communicate with them " I mean you no harm! " but once you earn their trust, its pretty sweet.

    Well, I'm off to bed, my Cancer has another "task" for me tomorrow. I feel like Hercules and the 12 task he had to do. If he ask for apples, I'm getting him 4 golden delicious from the market!

  • Izzy...There is something about these men. I have been married to one before and here I am going after another one. Evidently I don't learn either. One thing it seems like with our cancer men is if they think they are pursuing us and not the other way around then the chase is on. They kind of remind me of a labrador going after a fallen duck. Katie bar the door if that duck jumps up and quacks bevcause they will run for the hills. /this may be a rather simplistic analogy but between that and the strokes for their ego then all is well.

  • Well, I am a good one to talk about things. I haven't heard from mine since thursday. It wouldn't bother me as much as it does except I am worried for his safety. He is in Iraq and when there are bombings going on or military deaths they cut off communications in and out. This can last for days. Not being married yet I can't just call the company and say, "hey! what's up with my man?" It drives him a little batty because i worry about him but he thinks it is a trust issue and i have to keep telling him no sweetie I just get scared because I don't know if you are alive or not. I am going nuts.

  • At least ur cancers are communicating with you in one way or another. Im giving up here. seriously!

  • waterman....I do have a question for you? It seems like to me cancer men like to be the ones to initiate the relationship as it were. Is it me or do they feel threatened or intimidated when the woman shows interest? As long as Cancer is in control they seem to be happy. Could it all be a control issue? My first husband was a Cancer and we had an on again off again relationship. I was pregnant before we got married and when we went to the justice of the peace his mom let me borrow her wedding band when we said I do and not 2 seconds later he said give it back. I bought a wedding band to wear at a garage sale and he basically kept me barefoot and pregnant until i got out. Then he would use our son as a pawn to see me again. After saying all this, I am in love with another Cancer. Some of us never learn.

  • Really terrific help guys, I really appreciate your input!

    CC - Firstly, I am so sorry you were so sick back in 2004. Thanks so much for your guidance as you definitely have the insight from experience. My Cancer guy is currently undergoing a battery of tests. He has severe abdominal pain, numbness in his legs, constipation, nausea, extreme fatigue coupled with insomnia (we've had many phone conversations that literally lasted as long as 11+ hours over night!) - Celiac is genetic and his uncle has a couple of the same symptoms yet the disease does not always affect all family members. He's going to be hospitalized soon for a lower GI biopsy. I really believe we're going to get a handle on this thing in the next 30 days.

    2knowme... - you're right and I KNOW you're right. I don't give up my heart easily and it is very tied to my Cancer guy. The dating site thing . . . am actually going on a date today and will be given the tour of the Pensacola beaches (I'm from LA - that's Lower Alabama) which is only about 40 miles from me so just gonna have some fun.

    Cappy - I will most definitely go to Facebook (never have) and will find you there as I definitely want to know what it is that you're referring to other than the pendulum thing. Again, say this as many times throughout the day . . . "IF IT IS IN THE HIGHEST AND BEST INTEREST OF ALL THOSE CONCERNED, I NOW WELCOME INTO MY LIFE, MY HEART, AND MY SOUL MY NEW PERFECT PARTNER - THANK YOU GOD!"

    To all - that above prayer is POWERFUL so if you're totally fed up with your guy, give it up to God and "The Universe" as who knows?!?!

    2knowme - Terrific Advice and your words have motivated me to send him a very caring email letting him know again that I'm truly not going anywhere - Thank You So Much!!

  • Jzzr --- I will look forward to heaering from you soon on face book or You will ant to know this. I love your affirmation and realising to the universe! I will do that every day!

    Thank you!


  • mom, i am all goofed up. i need to know how to find you on face book. I am like a super new user.

Log in to reply