HANS WOLFGANG...your advice would be appreciated!
I recently dated my best guy friend of 6 years. We thoroughly discussed this proposition before actually dating. We've been dancing around the idea of dating for about 2 years...we lasted about 3 weeks before he bailed on me and told me he didn't actually feel that way--that he was just TRYING to because he really wanted to. He brought our marriage, moving to be here, etc. I am so confused. I've lost someone that I was truly convinced was my soulmate, my best friend, and a great lover.
My birthday is 3/7/85 2:40am Amarillo, TX. I currently live in Dallas, TX.
His birthday is 3/3/85 7:50am Round Rock, TX. He currently lives in Austin, TX.
We met in February 2004.
Our first "date" officially was July 2, 2010.
We had the conversation in which he told me he couldn't do long distance/didn't feel the way he had said he did/the way I did on July 26, 2010.
Is there still a future with us? Can we make something work or were we only meant to be friends? How do we regain anything we had in the past, obviously I'd like a relationship, but are we even salvageable as friends? All the information/insight you can provide about us would be much appreciated! Thanks in advance!
My birthday is 3/7/85 2:40am Amarillo, TX. I currently live in Dallas, TX: Beginning of February 2009 until beginning of December 2010 you are living in a period of very deep inward transformation that will be reflected in changed ideals, goals and many other aspects of your world view. You may also work harder than ever to bring about in reality an ideal that you have held for years. However, you will have to give up a great deal to accomplish this, and you will not receive much ego-reinforcement at the time, even if you are successful.
You will find it necessary to question very deeply many beliefs you have held as a matter of course all your life. You may become disoriented as you discover that you have been living under illusions. But at least you will not be alone, for this is one of the influences that affect everyone in one age group at about the same time. In fact, the need to change your ideals may come through your peer group. It would be a good idea to discuss this with someone who is much older or younger and who is not suffering the effects of this influence, in order to get a better perspective on what is happening to you. If you begin psychotherapy now, which is quite possible, you should not choose a therapist of your own age. While he or she might understand you, he cannot give you a different perspective.
Many elements of your life - relationships, job situations, places - may pass away now, but this is only a reflection of the profound changes taking place within you. After this period is over you may find it hard to recognize the person you were before.
Whatever you choose to do, it would be a good idea to study a subject that will give you greater understanding about your life. Astrology, the occult, metaphysics or even depth psychology might serve this purpose. But don't get lost in abstractions: make sure that what you learn has real consequences in your everyday life, because you have great needs there that should be met. Also your studies should give you very deep understanding. Nothing superficial would help you at this time.
His birthday is 3/3/85: He can expect a smoothing out of affairs in the realms of work and health. However, if he has had bad or negative habits in these areas or if his lifestyle has included any activities which have intentionally or inadvertently hurt others, he may have to settle his accounts. Whatever happens, he should see that as a guidepost to make corrections in his path. This will cause a settling of all affairs and at the same time bring some much needed peace into his life. If, during that time, he takes some time to tune in to his deepest thoughts and feelings, he may become aware of a special message for him that comes from inside. This message may lead him to perform a special mission in his life, one that uplifts others in some important way.
Is there still a future with us? No.
Can we make something work or were we only meant to be friends? Neither nor.
How do we regain anything we had in the past: by keeping balance between contact and withdrawal.
but are we even salvageable as friends? no.
All the information/insight you can provide about us would be much appreciated: your weakness is your strength.
Every river is constantly moving to be the ocean. The problem is only with those who have become ponds, closed, not open to flow, having forgotten that this is not their destiny, this is death. To be a pond is to commit suicide because there is no growth anymore, no new spaces, no new experiences, no new skies – just the old pond, rotting in itself, becoming more and more muddy.
Wow, so I've officially lost one of my best guy friends? That is pretty terrible. I see that many parts of my life may be falling away, but wow. That's such terrible news. Thanks for the insight.
Wow, so I've officially lost one of my best guy friends? No.
Thanks for the insight: giving and taking should be in balance.
Have you still not tired of doing all
these things? All your life you have done these. That
is the cause of your restlessness. If you are still
eager to indulge in these things, you may wander as much as you please.