CAPTAIN! Please share your wonderful insight.............?!
Hey Captain! I have been reading all of the wonderful, insightfulness you have had for so many, and I am hoping you can do the same for me!! You are so talented, and I am soooo in need of some insight for guidance!!
I met a Cancer guy on vacation, he asked me to dance, and sparks were flying, and I had this uncanny, unnerving feeling that I was SUPPOSED to meet HIM, and that quite possibly we are soul mates, or old souls!! I have never felt such an energized, feeling, and he must have felt it too!! He did call me after I got home, and he was even telling me that in a few years he was supposed to take over this construction company etc., and that he would be moving closer to me. (Right now he is about 18 hours away!!) My husband was with me when I was dancing (my husband does not dance, ever, but encourages me to dance !) Things with my husband have been pretty bad for the last 3 to 4 years and we have talked of Divorce multiple times.
Things seemed fine with me and the Cancer guy, until I was talking to him on the phone and my husband came outside to ask me a question! I answered, and then me and the Cancer guy continued talking. He sent me his E mail address, and asked for me to send him some pictures etc.
Now I have not heard from him in a few months!! I am dumbfounded, but I figure that the problem is my husband.
I just feel it in my "soul" that I am to be with this man!! Can you give me your wonderful insight to this situation? I would like to know if he calls me again, WHEN will he?? Are we together as a couple in the future? Married?? Something says we are to be together! What do you see for us in the future?
Also, can you see anything about my husbands health??
My DOB March 18, 1960
Cancer Guy July 7th, 1973
Husband November 13, 1963
Thank you so much for your knowledgeable insight to this, it is truly tearing at my heart, and I guess I just need answers!!!!
Lildolphin, you'd better hope this Cancer man doesn't contact you again. For you, this man would have all the effects of a drug - addictive and hard to give up but ultimately very destructive. The strong pull you felt for him is quite common in this partticular combination. Your relationship with him would focus on the unbridled pursuit of pleasure. Once addicted to the love/sex pull of the relationship, it would be hard for the two of you to get yourself out of it, no matter how bad things became. This guy would either become very clingy and dependent on you or he would only visit you very infrequently, as he hates to feel tied down or trapped. Obsessive and claiming attitudes would prevail here - you would hate it if he turned all needy and possessive on you. Cancer men usually look for a 'mother figure' in love.
Not only would the relationship become your 'drug' but there is a danger you two could get over-involved in real drugs like alcohol or mind-altering substances here. The lure of pleasure and good feelings is so strong that once you and Cancer man begin a downward slide, even the pleading of family and friends will not jerk you out of this dangerous self-deceptive relationship.
In your relationship with your husband, he brings out your more realistic side, while the Cancer guy brings out your dreamy, fantasizing side. Your marriage is fairly well grounded but perhaps that's why you feel so restless. You want the romance of your fantasies, not the dull routine of rdaily life. The Cancer guy represents the perfect fantasy lover, but he would turn out to be a nightmare. A lot of passion has gone out of your marriage and you and your husband's differences in outlooks have become more pronounced and obvious now, which is why you look for passion and understanding elsewhere. This relationship is actually better for friendship than love.
All this romantic restlessness comes from your deep need to be important to someone to the point of being idolized, Lildolphin. The grass always seems greener in that other man's yard, doesn't it? But instead of pining for a knight in shining armour to come rescue you, you need to deal with your marriage and decide if you will stay or go. Don't even consider the Cancer man in your plans - he is not the strong romantic partner you dream about. Sort things out with your husband and end your marriage if you must - don't just use him as a fall-back plan if you can't find anyone else to be with. There's nothing wrong with wanting to find new truer love but you must first end your old relationship in order to do it. Or put new life back into your marriage. Don't just stay with your husband because you don't want to be on your own and without support. It's not fair to either of you.
It's time to make a decision about your marriage - don't consider anyone else at the moment but yourself and your husband and whether you want to go forwards with him. You and your husband need to have a long hard honest talk about your future together. Don't put if off in the hopes of being 'rescued' by some unrealistic dream of a white knight.