Improved relations

  • My Scorpio guy and I have been trying to improve our communications since he was friended by a female love interest from 15 years ago. He was born 11/4/1954 at 2 a.m. in Frankfurt, Germany. I was born 1/30/1961 at 8:53 a.m. in S.F., CA. She was born 5/23/1967 in Granada Hills, CA. She had given him her telephone number and they have been corresponding a lot since then. (One time I accidentally saw their e-mail correspondence when I was checking my work e-mail on his computer; he urges me to do that when I stay over. She was really trashing me after he tried to get her to 'step back' a bit for my sake. I let him know I had accidentally seen that e-mail exchange and was thankful for my openness about that but I respect his privacy.) I need to know if an upcoming get-together since I returned home to continue my work search (I have been unemployed for a long time and it's scary) will be fruitful, since I have mixed feelings about the nature of his continued relationship with her, and he seems unduly influenced by her and rather cowed by her anger.

  • p.s. this is an upcoming get-together of my Scorpio guy and me; he wants to be able to meet up with me in my city. He lives in California as well. Do you think he wants to resume his love interest in her; is she trying to do that herself? I want to make sure I am not in a "have one's cake and eat it too" type of relationship. Thanks!

  • cuspglyph

    I don't know I ching

    but I'll look up your birth infos in the weekend

    right now just busy with work and dealing with death in the family

    just post any update you can come up with, I'll look if there is anything significant cosmic wise

  • Hi LeoScorpion,

    Take whatever time you need for the death in your family; that's the number one priority right now.

    All I really need to know as of yet is how important this renewed relationship is need-wise; I'd like to know just where I can fulfill his needs if she is the one he feels he has to turn to where I can't. I'd rather be able to do that for him than have a problem dealing with her. He's let me know she is more direct in expressing her anger when she feels it, yet if I express my anger (which is rare since I tend to be more repressed in that area...I was raised to 'keep quiet and be nice' while others expressed theirs in more direct and sometimes scary ways), he can't deal with it. Maybe his acceptance of her anger just reminds me of this situation, and makes it harder for me to be direct about my frustration.

  • cuspglyph

    I have grieved and I won't grieve much longer. my brother had been sick for 20 yrs. he hardly knew me or himself. he died with a smile, my mother said. she was with him at the time.

    he now starts a journey back home, to the spirit world where we all come from. my late father (who also died of sickness) had picked him up. my brother was his favorite son.

    I couldn't think of a better reunion for them. I had the best father I could ever have. I had good moments with my brother although sickness had took him over most of his life. I am setting up memorial corner for those who passed away, I am happy that they are going back home and one day I will make the same journey.

    about your chart, I will post it tomorrow or tuesday the latest. Gotta finish some work too.

    hang in there.

  • LeoScorpion,

    You have a beautiful way of looking at the life-death cycle; I am glad that you find peace in that perspective. If only more of us were that in touch!!

    What do you think of a Venus Synastry overlay, as in a partner having their Venus in the other person's 1st house? I read an article about that but do not know how to calculate that. My Scorpio guy's Venus is in Scorpio, and his rising sign is Virgo. My Venus is in Pisces, and my rising sign is Pisces. His female friend's Venus is in Cancer (I don't know her rising sign, but she has a very round face, snub nose, and semi-thin lips.)

  • Cuspglyph

    I don’t do composite (that’s what you are describing, placing one chart over another) . I only do synastry (reading each chart independently) for each person to know each other more and they will make decisions from there.

    Saturn is touring your house of partnership and marriage since 2009. Having him here shows the need to have a firm structure of your relationship. A firm structure starts with a strong foundation. Saturn can see you are starting a new life with him. So he is testing the foundation. See whether it’s good enough to last. Whatever decision you make during Saturn transits, will affect for a long time. So I would suggest you make the right decision. I can’t make it for you, but I can share you my personal view.

    If I were you, I would hold him responsible for putting me in this situation. You know why? Because he promised to share his life with you. Anyone or anything that comes in between, he should never let them. His friends are now your friends and vice versa. If his friends don’t like you, well they have to live with it, because now you are a part of his life. He should not cower when his friends are angry with you, instead he should take a stand. He is not doing that right now and that’s why you are torn apart. He doesn’t want to lose her friendship, but can you call this a mere friendship? And what kind of friend interferes this much into your relationship, and why is she allowed to go so far? In life, everyone has to choose. If I were you, I would meet him and give him the ultimatum.

    This is my view, I will leave your decision to you. As I just said, whatever decision you make, will affect you for a long time (Saturn transit) make sure you choose the right one. Remember that he is the one that promises to share his life with you. The other woman is just there doing whatever she wants to do. Not that she is right doing what she is doing, but she won’t be able to go this far, if he takes a stand and stops her from going too far.

    I think I’ve read everything on his chart before, but not sure if I mentioned that he does have a certain placement that increases sexual demands to unleash creativity erotically. He probably associates love with se x. which is only a small part of love, really. Whether your relationship is based on love or not, only you and he know.

    BTW, thanks being thoughtful about my brother’s death. I hope my post helps.

  • actually I don't do any of both LOL composite and synastry

    it's taking too much time since I don't rely on online charts completely anymore

    but I hope it still helps

  • Hi LeoScorpion!

    Thank you for your response. It's true that he associates love and sex (Mars in Aquarius); he also has real problems with the expression of that as well. He has let me know of his inhibitions because of an overbearing (and sexually attractive to him) mother. His female friend has her moon in Scorpio, so I can see a connection there. He has his moon in Aquarius, and has told me I'd fulfill his emotional needs so I think that is why he decided to marry me. He has never denied a need for his emotional needs to be met; just in a way that doesn't remind him of his mother--she assumed them without bothering to ask him first and he has made it plain he resented that, including giving him things or treating him. I have followed that request. I guess it seems kind of weird that she seems to be acting like his mother, but maybe that's something he needs to resolve with himself.

  • mars in aqua does place his energy in many directions, and he also attracts energy from many directions too. apparently his mother and se x are the areas where the energy come from.

    moon in scorpio shows emotional need for transformation, and often also se xual satisfaction, because this kind of satisfaction can - transform- the person's feelings into something more solid like attachment.

    moon in aquarius makes him rather detached and he likes women who are either unique or independent, including many of the aquarian traits. you certainly have this. but in terms of emotional attachment, it';s going to take him time to achieve this stage. emotional needs go beyond erotical needs. if he has achieved an emotional attachment, nobody else can get in between you and him. if he lets her go this far then he hasn't got to this stage.

    I understand this from my own experience. since Pluto, ruler of Scorpio, is dominant in my chart. I don't have the same placements as any of you have, but I understand Pluto and his mysteries. I really hope you can achieve certain level of devotion that you can both agree on. this is the level of emotional attachment that seems hard for him to achieve or maintain. with the energy in aquarius, his sexual needs will be variable and erratic. there is no telling when he will be bored and when he will be not. this is why it's important for him to achieve a certain level of emotional attachment, a devotion to one woman, which is a good step to what love really is.

    hope the best for you, cuspglyph

  • Thank you, LeoScorpion!

    From your feedback, I feel I have gleaned some valuable insight about what involvement in either emotion or action means to him, and why things are the way they are. It gives me more peace of mind to know how this is working, and how I can offer something that makes a difference. Getting an objective viewpoint like this means a lot to me!! Take care, and best wishes for what is going on in your life as well...

  • you take care too cuspglyph

    remember any decision you make during Saturn transit

    (in your case it's relationship, because Saturn is transiting your house of relationship since 2009)

    the decision about relationship will affect you for a long time

    it sure isn't easy making this decision about relationship since there are 2 involved (well 3 in your case it seems) and I can feel you love him, or else you wouldn't be posting so many threads asking advices about you and him since 2009

    Saturn will stay in your house of relationship until 2011

    you have a lot of time to think, while Saturn is testing the structure in this house

    soon you will see, whether the foundation of relationship is strong enough to build your future together on

    in his case, Saturn is transiting his house of self, self image

    a good time for him to understand himself more and project this understanding outward

    in his case too, any decision he makes regarding himself and his self image

    will affect him for a long time

    as you just said, let him decide whether he is promiscous cheater looking for various erotic experience, or he is truly looking for the one and only woman to share his life (and his bed) with

    Saturn will stay in his house of self until December 2010

    whatever decision he makes, you might hear it before Chistmas this year

    It will indeed be a different Christmas for you after all you two have been through this year

    I really hope you two will make a wise and informed decision during the transit

    bye now cuspglyph I am going out with hubby to look for some decor for the memorial corner

  • LeoScorpion,

    I finally found out via a friend that she has a boyfriend already--now why didn't she just mention that ? It could have saved my fiance and I heaps of confusion. In any case, I am deeply grateful to have found out that tidbit of info via a social networking site we are both on. I didn't hesitate to let him know, since he had no clue himself, either! Thank you so much in helping me decipher this personal nightmare--now I can truly put it all behind me!!

  • thanks for update cuspglyph

    don't know if you can trust this friend, but it's more about you and he, than about her

    whether she has boyfriend or not, doesn't seem to stop her anyway

    again, if your relationship foundation is strong

    there should be nothing to worry about, be it now or in the future

    take care

  • Thanks so much, LeoScorpion! Perhaps that woman unwittingly provided me with a clue as to what doesn't appeal to him--her having a boyfriend she won't separate from. Maybe a feeling of being 'cuckolded' there. Well, if I had wanted to do likewise with a male friend, it might have 'forced the shoe on the other foot' but I'm not even remotely interested in playing games. That's a terrible foundation for any relationship, and can cause even more problems. So...he had to find out for himself what the "deal" was, and how much of it was an 'inner college boy' fantasy for him after all those years. Truth has a way of balancing things out...

  • cuspglyph

    yep, truth does set people free.

    hope you both will be able to move on with the relationship knowing what you know now

    best of luck in the future

  • Sure thing, LeoScorpion! One thing I have definitely learned is to consider his own experiences as examples of what I understand to be the truth about an issue. When I met him, he let me know he avoided emotional intimacy with any woman after being cheated on. That's why I even bothered to get involved; otherwise I wouldn't have at all. Sometimes he just needs to be reminded of what I trust to be a good reason to go forward in any area with him. He can't make me do anything with him unless it's beneficial to me as well.

  • "He can't make me do anything with him unless it's beneficial to me as well. "

    this is good. sometimes when people are in love, they give up everything and forget that love is two-sided interaction. if they give then they supposed to also be able to take. what is beneficial for one, is beneficial to the other - or else it is not love. relationship works the same way, even if it's not romantic.

    well I hope things work out for you both in the future, cuspglyph.

  • hello leoscorpion, I am dealing with a somewhat similar problem as cuspglyfh, It has been just a little over a year since we met again we where involved 30 yrs ago. We had a serious dis agreement about three months ago and didn,t speak for a couple of weeks , He went out and he met someone else and is still seeing her. He calls me daily I have met up with him a couple of times and I have made it clear I can,t see myself going back to him as long as he is still seeing her. I feel he wants my reassurance before he decides to give her up. When he calls he tells me he loves me not her and she is just a companion., they see each other 4 to 5 times a week and I don,t believe him. She knows all about me and I know all about her this is like a soap opera but it is painful, I feel i may have pushed him away due to the disagreement, I was upset with him and would not answer his calls at the time. I know we love each other and I do not know what I should do next. Can you please help with your expertize and your wisdom. I will greatly appreciate any advise you may give me Leonida

  • PicadillyKim

    Will my husband and I find a way to work out our marriage? we are a Brady bunch family but Im the only mother his daughter 12 know and he is the only dad my boys 12 and 13 knows. We share an 8 year old son and started our divorce in febuary. I thought it's what I wanted and moved out. But Im missing my family and see what's it doing to the kids. He is trying to hurry the divorce and is partying now has a girlfriend and does not want to try to work things out now. I do. I don't want a divorce I wanna save my family. I love him and my children. Do you see any insight to this matter. Im a Scorpio 11/03/1976 he is a libra 10/03/1976

    please help. Thank u


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