A question for Leoscorpion...
Hi Leoscorp, I dont know if you remember but a while back I had a thread "Scorpio men is it common practice that they cheat???" This was your response...
From Leoscorp--I had a bad experience with one, he left when we were following up on our plan to settle down. So the one that I know is not trustworthy. but then again these are two different people we are talking about so their personalities will be different, for each personality is determined by a lot of things like planets in their birth chart, upbringing etc
I read your other thread, I think it's yours. the one with aries and libra before the scorp guy, remember that one? I've heard about faithful Scorps, and yes they are stingy in general. so their cruel remarks is kind of a trademark, doesn't necessarily determine they are cheaters or not. this means your guy may be faithful, only due to his secretive nature you can't see it. my rising is scorp so I can understand a few things they do, for I do it too sometimes.
I may be a leo but I don't have many leo traits, especially appearance and need to be in the spotlight. I like being in a command, but behind the scene. I can sting, although now I manage to tone it down, but I still have it and still use it when I feel necessary.
This is where I am courious.....he is being stingy at you, but deep inside he likes you and secretly wish you will rise above this stinginess and prove yourself.
I think I did do this. I helped him with something a couple of months ago that was a very big deal. I put myself out for him 200% no questions asked. I asked for nothing in return, and the kick in the pants? He stung me again. When I expressed my anger(?) hurt(?) frustration(?) he apologized in his way....
mysteries are s exy, and we can go sadistic when trying to unfold them. this is where his stinginess comes from. it's like getting a gift, wrapped. instead of unwrapping the ribbon, we will use knife and cut through the box because ribbons (the outside appearance) matters not. it's the inside we are after and using a knife to get in, is faster. what we often forget, is the knife can also cut through the gift inside if we cut too deep. sounds similar?
I can feel that he is still interested in you. but he has to learn not to cut too deep and yet still open the box. don't hesitate to be stingy at him back, but if you still want him, try to not expose too much of your feeling.
When he hurt me this last time... OMG I put a wall up so high, I refused to see him, not talk or email, just refused to actually see him because i felt that he still thought I was just not good enough for him. He told me to relax, I am fine, he likes me, but I cant, his last hurt, the one after I helped him was the biggest whopper I've ever had in my life from a guy. it was like a scene straight out of a movie. He said when I pointed out just how bad it was... and he realized it.... it brought him to tears.
if he can see that he has cut too deep that the gift is now damaged, he will throw it away or 'send it back' in other words he will find another girl. he is after the gift, remember? what good is a damaged gift? try to remember this when you communicate with him. that is if you still love him. with them it's always all or nothing. if you can't bear it now, it may be good idea to drop it. he will drop you, if he feels you are a damaged gift, he sees the whole gift and disappointed for whatever reason even if it is not damaged, or he finds more attractive ones and probably have a lot of boxes to open yet.
hope this helps. take care.
Ok, so this is the thing.... he's hurt me so deeply, and I backed away... when I tried to open some communication... then he backed away from me... I've sent him an email saying the following...
"look, I cant relax around you, you done hurtful things to me and I'm sure i have done the same t you. Let's be friends first, then once we (me) can relax again.... if we're still interested in each other... we can discuss $e%."
i told him to take his time answering back as my offer does not have an expiration date.
My question to you is this.... I have the strongest sense there is another gal, I have for 2 weeks now... how do I know if he thinks his gift is dammaged.... and.... if a guy thinks that way... do they ever change their minds?
I really care about this guy, and I love him.... I just want to find that comfortable place we had... the one he disrupted when he felt I got too close.
Do you think that it's possible?
sorry Leo scorpion ..lol.. Let me rephrase
When you get lost... you dont abondon the car right?
If you get a leak in your roof you dont move out and leave the house right?
How is the best way to tell when somebodys had enough.... from their fault, your fault or both faults...
When do scorpios finally throw in the towel?
give me DOB, place of birth and time of birth
I will go to more details, rather than generalities as my old post to you
I'll try do it in the weekend
a person with Pluto (ruler of Scorpio) dominant, such as myself (and probably he is too)
can be very difficult to live with, or even to relate with
the higher the relationship is, the more you are exposed to his energy
it's either he learns to manage it and direct it right, or both of you will be burned
I can feel you want him, but how much does he want you?
if he doesn't want you as much, he won't spend much time to learn manage Plutonian energy and stop hurting you
too busy at work LOL I made typos
"the higher the relationship is"
the closer the relationship is"
for the questions , well this is my answer, I don't know his answer
"When you get lost... you dont abondon the car right?"
Depends. Is it still working?
"If you get a leak in your roof you dont move out and leave the house right?"
Depends. How big of a leak? Can it be fixed?
That's it for now. See if you can get the complete info , maybe I can dig out something that helps
I am SO sorry that I have not gotten back to you, I have had a whole LOT going on. Thanks for giving me what you can though... here is the DOB information
Me: 7/2/72 brooklyn ny
Him: 11/2/67 unknown
Thanks doll! Like I said... I was very interested in the whole.... how do you know when too much has happened more than anything else.
What point is the point of no return, if there is such a thing....
His sun is in Scorpio, but he has Virgo and Scorpio dominant in his chart. His North in Aries shows a purpose to be independent and taking charge. He might have had disappointments in those he relied on, this happened because it is his purpose to be more independent and rely on himself. Saturn here makes him restless when not being in charge of things, when other people have controls over things. Mars in Capricorn helps him manage his energy, he knows when to lay low and take break, before making the next move the focus here is on authority and protecting it. If he feels ‘not the boss’ he may not be happy.
With such configuration, however, it is difficult for him to accept past disappointments. He is constantly blaming himself and because he does not make peace with himself, then he can not make peace with everyone else. Because he is not free of guilt, he doesn’t let anyone else free of blame (even though it is not their mistakes). A tiny mistake can cause huge argument.
Moon in Scorpio shows a protective and secretive nature. A build up tension within barrier he builds around him, may end up being released through se xual activity or maybe violence. If he is not violent physically then Mercury here shows his words can be dangerously penetrating, he can hurt someone just by opening his mouth. But he is sharp and diligent, he enjoys mystery solving and Jupiter in Virgo bestows him gift of analytical mind that does not miss details often. This is all great, except that the same ability makes it easy for him to notice tiny mistakes or imperfections and then he will make a big deal out of them.
Venus conjunct Pluto and Uranus shows an unpredictable and possibly dominating lover. He breaks out of routine. If a relationship is not stimulating, he will get bored or even explode out of frustration. With Pluto, love life is definitely not boring. It’s always all or nothing. Totally in control, or totally controlled.
There is no definite answer to your question. If he enjoys being in control and hurting others, then he will not stop doing so. But seeing so many control issues here, I think it is a good idea if you refuse to ‘give in’. In one way he enjoys the stimulation, and he will also learn his lessons (hey, someone standing up to him!).
The ‘other girl’ question : It is not possible that he looks for someone else if the relationship bores him. Same woman all the time, same argument all the time etc. Routine, remember? You love him, but I think it’s time you take a step back from the relationship. Neptune in Scorpio is a great gift of intuition, but its fog of illusion can block him from finding the truth he is looking for.
Let him learn his lessons and only when he does, you will open the door for him once again. You made him cry over his mistakes before, that’s a good start. A Pluto dominant sometimes does not realize how extreme they exert themselves into other people’s lives. This is because Pluto’s influence is more in the deep than on the surface. If you don’t stand up to him, he will not notice how much pain he causes you and he will not stop hurting you.
The other girl (if there is one) well let’s see if she can handle him.
You are loving and caring, you provide shoulder to cry on. It’s time that you become more aloof and calculated, your North in Capricorn shows this purpose. Your disappointments in relationships are teaching you to be more efficient with your time and energy, don’t forget your own needs while you are helping other people. Jupiter here will bestow you abundance if you care to nurture yourself. Mars conjunct Mercury is a great boost to the intellectual, in Leo, you may provoke debates instead of discussions and your grasp is more on big pictures while his is on details.
Moon in Pisces gives compassion and intuitive nature. Watch for manipulation, falling for sad stories and pleas for help while they are actually using you. Pluto in Virgo can cause obsession over health matters and daily routines. Tiny change in routine or health can aggravate you. Unlike him, you don’t really enjoy changes, especially sudden ones. This is why he can exhaust you sometimes, especially with so much intensity in such a short time. Saturn conjunct Venus can cause lack of confidence and appreciation to your self, your own achievement. This is –partially- why you are hurt. Because you don’t realize your own strength and how much support you have given him, you allow him under appreciating you.
Your energy is scattered in many directions. His is focused in a few. Try not to spread yourself too thin and start focusing your energy to your own needs. Heart’s desire can be so strong you will accept just anything as long as you can be with him. But how long can you live this way? Because until he learns his lessons, he will not change. This means you have to keep showing him what he does wrong, or he will never learn. Pluto gives a staying power, when he changes, it will be a transformation. But until then, there is no way to know when he will change and the same events will repeat.
Hope this helps.
Wow! That was FANTASTIC! I mean WOW!
It's so funny because I post on ASCLAC part... and Flowsco has had him nailed FOREVER already ..lol.. I think if she read what you wrote... she'd crack up laughing. ..lmao!... Must be a Scorpio thing. So funny, before him, I was never into this... but now, I SO am..lol.. but that's a convo for another day...
What you said about him is true. He's bossy and he does notice even the most tiny flaws in people. Everything that he does not like about me... he does not like it... he HATES it. At least that's the interpitation I got from him.
Not too long ago I FINALLY explained to him that no matter what he expects or wants in me... that I am who I am. That he would have to accept me for simply.... me, or leave me alone.
He said he does accept me for me.
Leo, can I tell you that he has made some hard observations about things... mostly superficial. I felt inadequite around him. Not from my mind or profession as they are fine in his eyes...
It was always about my weight. I was not a huge girl but I was not tiny either. I explained to him that my weight issue was attached to another issue and unfortunately, I had to fix one to deal with another...lol... not so easy.
Anyway, I've lost most the weight. only 20-25 more to go...lol.. and actually I think I am fine now, the extra is more for me not him as shopping is fun again..lol.. oh and I wanna wear a pink bikini again before I die ..lol..
The point of this is...
When his chips were down I was there. I'll always be there for him, I think that day he saw my true heart for him.
I also think he did realize how much he has hurt me.
He told me he was embarassed for all that he had said and did, and he has asked to see me several times since that day, but for me-- old hurts die hard and I have put him off over and over for fear that he would judge me as "not quite good enough".
I know what you're probably thinking... good enough for him? I should not care if I'm good enough for him, he should worry he's not good enough for me. I'm learning that now. Not such an easy lesson for some.
I don't let his bad behavior slide anymore.... I call him out on it now. He does not like it... he gets mad... I don't hear from him for a while.... but I dont contact him about calling him out on his bad behavior (I used to try and "explain" why I was hurt, ..lol.. now I just say Scorp, that's f-ed up contact me when you're nice) ... and he always comes back... asking to see me.
BUT... I don't see him. Ever.
I guess my question is.... what it really is....
Can I take him on his word? When he says "you're fine, it was me... not you"
Or will he say one thing... and the whole time be thinking ugly thoughts about me again... and then one day when my guard is down... unload them on me.... like he did before.
It's scaring me so much because I do think he sees how he hurt me, and I want to give him the chance.... I want to get to know him again... and I don't think he'd hurt me...
It's what could be seething under his words... what he's really thinking... when he looks at me...
A smile on his face and kind words from his mouth..... when actually... the very sight of me secretly repulses him inside.
What would be a good way to tell when somebody is "emotionally safe" with a person who has a personality like his?
Oh, and no, he's not violent..lol.. that's actually a funny thought...lol.. BUT I can see that he could explode, although he never has on me ever.
Flow didn't crack up in laughter after reading what LS explained. Flow only smiled and happy for the validation of her ......uhmm...knowlegde.
LS..your a trooper...I might bug you one day ...
Leaving the convo between the two of you.
..lol.. OMG! Flow! ..lmao! I'm in the middle of a cut and paste to you right now and was going to add some of this!!!
That is SO funny!
"It's so funny because I post on ASCLAC part... and Flowsco has had him nailed FOREVER already ..lol.. I think if she read what you wrote... she'd crack up laughing. ..lmao!... Must be a Scorpio thing. So funny, before him, I was never into this... but now, I SO am..lol.. but that's a convo for another day..."
well if he is a Scorp and this sign is also dominant in his chart, ANY Scorp that understands themselves, should be able to tell you most of what I wrote. Without understanding themselves though, they won't be able to. Because astrology is experiential, a knowledge you can't gain just by reading books, but also by application and experiments.
I noticed ASLAC but I never read more than first page. I did make one post there, encouraging you to keep going, because sometime ago someone tried to get my favorite thread Men of Zodiac deleted, and this person didn't like ASLAC thread either. So I encouraged you to keep going instead , just to show she can't push people around to her liking. I don't think I'm misisng out a lot, by not reading ASLAC LOL you wrote enough about your Scorp on Scorp Men cheating thread anyway
About bossy, it's easy to see. I met many people with the same placements and they are all generally like that. But they do NOT have all in one chart like he does. So as I am writing the reading I kind of wonder what exactly makes you stay LOL but then again astrology is only about planetary influence, you DETERMINE your own destiny. You want to stay, well you stay LOL
About weight, it's pretty easy too. Pluto's extremity can get you obsessed and Virgo rules health matters. Weight is mostly the kind of 'health' matters that people are concerned about these days.
"It's what could be seething under his words... what he's really thinking... when he looks at me... "
Well this one nobody really knows but himself. I don't know if you care to nurture your intuition, but if you do, it will be rewarding.
"Can I take him on his word? When he says "you're fine, it was me... not you"
well of course you can. just because he is unpredictable doesn't mean he lies all the time LOL
unpredictable is not a compulsive lying. he is just not always consistent, therefore there is no way to tell whether you are safe with him or not, or whether you ever will be. you will have to leave that to him to undergo his own journey. Even when he is finished with this journey ( and it won't take a day or a week LOL) it doesn't guarantee he is YOURS. because along the way he may find someone better that suits him anyway. means you may find someone else too
"I know what you're probably thinking... good enough for him? I should not care if I'm good enough for him, he should worry he's not good enough for me. I'm learning that now. Not such an easy lesson for some. "
Well I'm only reading a chart for you. It's not even a complete reading because I only have your DOB. What you do after reading it is your choice LOL the best lesson, is the hard one. once you master it, you will never forget it because of the effort and time you spend to do so.
I'm off for the weekend and the next. Have fun !
"Oh, and no, he's not violent..lol.. that's actually a funny thought...lol.. BUT I can see that he could explode, although he never has on me ever. "
the nervous energy has to go somewhere. that's why I said if he is not physically violent, then he can be verbally "violent'. It hurts you anyway, doesn't it? not sure what is funny about it. I actually think you should consider yourself lucky he never gets there with you LOL but then again, he has it all wrapped up in words anyway