So confused.....



  • william h. scott my favorite uncle who was more like a father to me passed on 07-18-2010. we were like two peas in a pod, his bday was 06-16-41 and mine is 06-20-71. no one told me my uncle had passed, i only found out the day before he was to have his memorial. my uncle was a veteran and was part of the vfw post 7413, he was loved by everyone who crossed his path. i feel so lost without him, he was backbone, my rock just the world to me. his sister had him cremated the same day he passed, no one was notified to be able to see him one final time in his physical form. i dont know if i am more upset by that or his memorial service. my uncle knew so many people and there were only a handful of people there because like my family we only found out by calling the house to speak to him. there were no flowers, no guestbook, no picture on the stand that sat next to his urn. i feel as though everything was done in such a rush and no compassion or feelings were put into it. family members told me how he loved me so, but treated me like i had

    a deadly disease they could catch at any time. this is what i am so confused about, my uncle would always tell me if anything ever happened to him i would own all he has. i always stated to him i did not want anything, he would outlive us all and he would get my children and we would always laugh. my daughter stated that on friday 07-16-10 when he took her out to lunch, my uncle told her not to worry about me because i would be taken care of and i would not have to struggle anymore. his sister and her children and my own mother are like a bunch of vultures. his sister, her husband and children have ransacked my uncles home. everyone is putting their bid in for what they would like to have. i have explained several times that i do not know if this is true or not and i really dont care all i want is my uncle back. so if the material items can bring him back take them all. i can not grasp the fact that he is gone, even though i have finally found peace with it. i still cant help but feel a little selfish for wanting him back. the other day i was talking to a friend and once i hung up the picture of my uncles urn appeared on my phone and the day of his memorial service my phone kept playing keep your head up by tupac. i am wondering if this is my uncles way of telling me he is at peace and for me to stop grieving so much. i cant seem to stop crying because he was the one person in this world that loved me more than life itself. i apologize

    for venting for so long, but i could not hold it in any longer and i dont have anyone left in this world that i feel close to like i did with him. thank you so much for letting me get this off my chest.


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