CAPTAIN!! I need your help & advie please!
I'm not sure you remember me from my last post (I'm a virgo dating a virgo who I wasn't sure about because he'd been distant lately -- your advice to me was to hang in there b/c he'd been going through a lot lately and that my romantic life would improve after my bday, etc...). In any event, I have a whole other bag of issues that I didn't mention.
I'll try to be as brief and descriptive as possible. I do want to stress that I really need advice/help with this situation. Here it goes: a little over 6yrs ago I met a guy. I wasn't head over heels for him, nor was I super attracted to him at first. Since there wasn't much around at the time, he and I dated and he eventually grew on me and we fell in love. 2yrs in I wasn't so sure about us. He had 2 children, twin boys (3 yrs old at the time we met). He told me when we met that he was no longer with the mother of his children and was living with his mother. This had a negative effect on our relationship. Mainly b/c I didn't have my own place (nor did he, so he claimed) so we spent most of our intimate time for the first 2 1/12 yrs in a hotel room. This made me especially unsure of us but I stayed w/him. Fastforward to yr 3 and I notice a ton of traits that I wasn't particuarly fond of. It was his lack of affection and his unavailability sometimes (b/c he had to spend time w/his kids). I don't have children so I didn't really understand him needing to split up the time the way he did, b/c at the time I wasn't allowed to be near his children (per the childrens moms instruction). Fast forward to year 6 and I've gotten used to the lack of affection, arguing and overall not feeling like I'm in a fair, fun and loving relationship. I've become bored with him and the relationship and often fantasize about being with someone else.
June 21, 2009 is the day I meet my virgo guy (this is the one you did the reading on). Automatically me and him click. There is an attraction that I never felt in my life. I got butterflies all the time and he said he did as well. He also made me explore a side of myself I never knew exisited. I felt sexy for the first time. I felt wanted and beautiful. I felt free and young (although I'm not old). Overall, I felt alive. I think its safe to say we were in lust.
Here is where the trouble lies. I told my virguy when we met that I was in a relationship I really didn't want to be in and was working my way out of it. My virguy wanted me to move to his town (ct) and I even attempted but that fell through. Finally I found my own place and attempted to break things off with my bf of 6 yrs but he wouldn't let go. So out of guilt I've played the back and forth game with him. My virguy is and was under the impression I completely broke things off with my bf. I managed to not give virguy any specific details about the ups and downs of the breakup. I just kept reassuring him that I was now single, living on my own.
Fastforward to this past weekend...still have not heard from my virguy. I emailed him over a week ago just to see how he was doing and he responded but very curt- I say hey, how are, how was your day, just checking in. He says, good and thanks. I email him a week later and still no response. So at this point I assume he's no longer interested in me and our friendship is over.
Here is where the heart of my issue is. My bf of 6 yrs proposed to me this past weekend. But in a really bad way. We had been arguing the night of the quasi-proposal b/c I went out to a nightclub with my sister who was visiting from out of town and it was her bday and I didn't go home (to his apt) prior to going out. So he was really upset about this. Said this isn't how a woman should behave. Came to my apartment after I got home from the nightclub, gave me an engagement ring and told me to get out of his life. I took the ring, thought about it and out of guilt I called him, told him I didn't want to be without him, etc. The next day he picked me up and formely proposed, I accepted. Now I have this ring and I'm full of fear! I dont even know if this is something I want with him. I also CANNOT stop thinking about the virguy although it seems quite obvious he's no longer into me. So can you first look at my (now fiance's) birth numbers and do a reading for me and him and tell me what you see. Then can you tell me if I should just get the virguy out of my head and system because it'll never work and he's over it.
Thank you so much! In sincerely appreciate all of your insight
Orchid, I can tell you right now without even looking at the birthdates that neither of these relationships are going to work for you because you are not being honest in either of them. With your fiance, you put up with his bad treatment and allow him to think you are fine with it. You don't stand up and say how you miserable and disrespected you are feeling. Then you let your Virgo friend believe you were unattached when you weren't. Dishonesty never improves a relationship. Unless you are willing to speak the truth of what you want to both of these men and reveal your true self, you may as well lock yourself away in a convent right now because no relationship will work out for you or bring you happiness as things stand. Until your birthday this year you are in a cycle when you can do amazing things for yourself and get everything you want if you put yourself first. It's time you started to think about what you really want and need - an equal fair relationship. So far you have been settling for much less.