Anyone avail for some guidance? Trying not to loose my mind :-/

  • I was just curious if perhaps someone could give me an insight regarding a situation that i have going on right now with one of my professors who im going back and forth regarding getting credit for some assignments. As of right now he's saying that he won't accepted it despite the fact that i have explained the medical situation going and provided the necessary documentation for back up. The semester is not even over yet. We still have a week left. I'm trying to fight with myself and overcome those self-doubt obstacles... make things right but seems that there's still more rocks coming my way even when I'm trying to take action despite my previous mistakes. Do you think he after the long message that i just sent him again even with more vital medical documentation he may change his mind and let me get credit for those assignments so i can get an A in the class? 😕 I knew the road towards change wasn't going to be easy also since I'm struggling with my own self who seems to be my enemy but still.. ugh! Thank you so much for your time!

  • Ugh, i don't to come off as crazy or anything but after so many struggles while trying to finally finish college, i found out his address. This professor lives about an hour from me... if anything i'm so tempted to deliver in person the assignments that we're battling about and give him hard paper copies instead of e-mail attachments from the doctors. Not sure if it'll be a good idea but im to the point that to get my A i'm willing to try anything!

  • He wonders how you can spend so much time trying to 'get out of work' (as he sees it) when you could be doing the work instead. The harder you try to convince him, the more convinced he becomes that you can do the work. It might help to talk to him face-to-face.

  • Yeah, i know its sort of a drastic measure and i have never done anything like that: to just show up at a professor's door to talk to him. However, i've tried to explained to him giving out information regarding how im seeing a therapist right now for bad depression that i've been struggling for a lot of reasons, and also provide him doctor's documentation regarding my adhd, prescriptions, how im registered with the school's office of disability for that part, etc. I've been trying to excel and granted i know he doesn't know me nor my past. And even though i've once again been weak and let my personal/mental struggles get in the way this time again, i've also comes a long ways because in the past i would register/pay for a class and something would happen that my mind would go completely blank and into depression mode really bad, that literally the whole semester goes by, it even finishes and i still haven't done anything. This time around the semester hasn't even ended, i have all the work for the whole class done, even the exams i've taken them and gotten an A... only those 4-5 assignments that i missed the deadline, they are done but he won't accept them. In a way it sort of feels like wow, despite everything i still tried to get it done BEFORE the semester ended, yet im still getting punish whether i make an effort or not. So you think then is a good idea if i head over to his city tomorrow then? Like would he freak out that a stranger student who he has never met found his address and show up? He won't put a restraining order against me, would he? Again, i have never done anything like this but willing to get out of my comfort zone and try anything.

  • Oh and on a side note captain, just curious... what vibes/feeling do you get from cancer man now? Because he actually contacted me the other day, we talked briefly (good friendly tone) and basically he wants to talk again about the letter i sent. What do you think? Thanks! 🙂

  • Hi Sagibaby, While I completely sympathize with what you've been battling and I wish your professor would be more understanding, I have a really bad gut feeling about your finding his address and driving to his house. I would feel like my privacy has been seriously violated if a (I'm an elementary school teacher) parent of a student showed up at my house without my consent or prior agreement and I would be really angry. I strongly discourage you from doing that. Not only my personal opinion but also a very strong intuitive reaction to your post. Could you ask for his phone number in one of your e-mails and call him or send your number so he can call you? OR, what about having your doctor contact him?

    Best of luck. I hope it all works out for you.

  • Hi Stonyeye,

    Thank you very much for your kinda words. Yes, that was just a random thought that i had (i guess more because of desperation) but also feel very hesitant from doing that and agree with you that it is probably not the best idea. He does have his phone number posted. I might try to call him instead and hopefully he won't hang up on me. Like i told him in the e-mail that im not making any of this up and that is why i provided him the information. But i still feel as if he thinks im lying or something because when i sent the letter from the current doctor that im seeing, she didn't had the hard paper copy ready during my visit with her (dr) so instead she emailed me the letter but in that copy she didn't added a "pen signature". Instead she typed everything and e-mailed it so i can fwd it to my professors. But now he's questioning that part too. I wrote him back saying that if anything i'll go back to my dr's office and have her sign it and re-send it to him along with sort of begging him to reconsider everything. Basically he got mad that he replied to my previous email asking me to create an "Action plan" and send it to him telling him what/when i was going to turn in. But right now things feel like a struggle and i even keep taking extra doses of adderall at times to try to maintain myself "up" instead of falling into deep depression again so i can do the work and give it to him. I was feeling unsure of giving him a "tentative plan" and then if i wasn't able to keep those exact dates he would feel that i was lying. So instead i decided to do the work like "behind the scenes" and give it to him together. Im pretty much done with everything and was sending it to him. Also told him that the last few papers i was just going through them sort of editing/double checking things were alright. And that's when he was saying that since i didn't give him the action plan that he wanted he was only going to take whatever i would give him up until 4pm of today and anything that was receive 1 minute after he wouldn't take. Outside of those assignments i have an A int he class for the work and the midterm. Tomorrow im taking my final online which im confident that im getting an A again. Which would give me an A in the class but if he doesn't accept those papers then it'll give me a C in the class 😞

  • Hey Sagibaby, I really hope he accepts those papers. It sounds like you would only be one day late? Considering what you've been dealing with, I would accept them. Of course, I am not a college professor and I understand your professor has to hold all his students to the same standards and deadlines. Hm... I kinda think he'll accept them though. I don't know why but feel optimistic for you. Let us know ok? Fingers crossed! And, worst case scenario, you get a C but that is a passing grade and still counts as credit toward your final degree. Good luck!

  • Do not contact this prof. at his home. It is inapropriate and will not help your cause at all. He is done talking to you. Take your documentation and request to the dean of his dept. Stop in personaly and go through his secretary--he is a very busy man but persist and speak to him and he will speak to your teacher and you will be guaranteed another opinion. Except the desicion. You WILL be fine--move on. Blessings

    PS-this is not just psychic advice--I have many college prof. friends and they get immune to students crying outside their door because they MUST get an A. It happens a lot.--you must aproach your request to administration in a professional mature way to be heard.

  • Sagibaby, the Cancer man tried to get another girl but it didn't work out so he thinks to return to you until he gets bored and moves on again. Don't fall for his tricks.

  • PS I didn't mean you should go to his home to see him - talk to him on campus. But like Blmoon said, I feel this man is done talking to you - he thinks you are just trying to take the easy way out. Somehow I don't feel we are getting the whole picture here though.

  • TheCaptain,

    So basically cancer man doesn't feel anything for me at all in any aspect then? According to him he wants us to talk and wants to answer the questions/wonderings that i had in the letter.

    Regarding my professor, i don't understand how he feels that im just trying to take the easy way out if is not like im trying to skip the work out anything. i have it done, tomorrow (well more like later today) i'll be talking the final and yet this class is not even done - last day is on 8/1. I can't see him on campus since the class is taught online and he actually resides in a city about an hour away from me. After my last message where i told him that if he wants i'll actually go back to my doctor tomorrrow to get a signature and re-send it to him, explained everything else more in detailed, disclosing information that is way too personal about what's happening but im trying to be 100% honest with him about what's going on, and also provided further documentation from other doctors, this was his response, "I am not questioning your truthfulness or the seriousness of your problem. However, I need to be diligent and have back-up in case I am questioned as to late assignments being accepted." I'm trying to figure out who is the dean for that department so i can approach him/her.

  • Ok, even though i still have a strong fear about approaching professors/staff, etc (something that im trying to work on and like TheCaptain has told me before i know it also has to deal with the fact that i need to learn to trust & believe in myself), i've decided that today i will find out who the dean of the dept. is to talk to him but also will get stop by the office of student disabilities where they have my documentation regarding adhd. I'm trying to keep my mind strong and not let me fears pull me back and stop myself from this battle. Is not that im trying to be a brat wanting to get an A, but basically the past few yrs in college has been a struggle for me. I pretty much went from overachiever with scholarships to losing all of them and hitting deep rock bottom point. I wasn't exactly sure back then what was happening but later on after seeing a doctor is when i found out that apparently i had adhd that had been gone untreated/undiagnosed for so many years. Since then i've been trying to learn how to cope with it, take meds only when necessary since i really don't want to become dependent, etc but all of these "low points" certainly played a major role in my self-esteem, confidence and sense of assertiveness to gradually diminish. I went back to the classes that i've messed up and i've been trying to overcome the obstacles in order to remove the F's, clean my gpa and be able to regain the scholarships that i lost. That's why in a way i hate myself for been weak and not being able to fully "do it how it should be" this time around, but at the same time i am glad that compared to other terms i didn't just signed up for the class, allowed my depression/adhd to take over so that my mind would totally forget that i was even in a class, the semester will end and i still have yet to even start the class. If anything this time around i completed everything and even got an A on the exams. That's why while i am feeling still fearful and scared, i still refuse to give up and stay stuck in the vicious cycle.

  • Btw, thank you VERY MUCH to all of you for being so kind and sweet. These last couple of weeks undergoing another episode of depression has been hard since i guess is during the bad times that you find out who your true friends are. Most of my close friends do not live in the same city that i do, and those who i may hang out around here have been missing or when they call is only to talk to me about their problems and most of the time forget to even ask how im doing. Def feels pretty lonely. Maybe that's why i write too much. Sorry! 😞 Even though i don't know you personally, your strong emotional support from far away does make me feel a bit better and trust that im not just crazy for being stubborn to achieve my goals despite the obstacles. (Eww im a bit teary now... pathetic! LOL)

  • OMGGGGGGGGGG GUYS!!!! I'm like about to cry right now. 😃 Yeah sorry i know i do talk A LOT, but just had to share it. I just checked my school e-mail one more time to see if there was any reply from my professor and this is what he wrote now, "You have thoroughly and consistently addressed the issue. I accept your explanations and will accept your work. Good luck on the exam. I will have your grades caught up later today.".... I'm about to take my final in a few minutes after i eat breakfast , which im pretty sure im getting an A like i did in the midterm... which means i finally will have an A in this class and don't have to take it ever again!! WOOHOO.. You have no idea how excited i am since for so many years i've seen "negative images" on my transcripts... and to add another A to it still feels like impossible dreams that have been acquired. Thank you ALL so much!!! 😃

  • Your professor had a good long think about his attitude. He was in the wrong but he realised he was misjudging you. In fact he didn't read your documentation thoroughly enough. He was having personal problems that distracted him.

    Blessings to you in your study and exams.

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