Ready to love and trust again.... i think (i'm scared)

  • I've been in love with a cancer man for over 4 years, I have finally accepted that this will never turn into my happily ever after.... I have taken interest in another man I barely know him don't know his sign but think he is interesting and nice.... I am scared to invest again, don't know if it will only lead to another heartbreak stretched out over a long period of time.... I can't do it again.... I won't but I don't want to give up on love and I want to give him a chance.... I need advice badly

  • Hi sexygem,

    I'm not an expert or anything but when I saw your post I feel I needed to reply. I was married to a Cancer for almost 20 years and hung in there for so long hoping, wishing that things would change, that if I loved him enough he would learn how to love back. I finally gave up on that dream last year. You are very wise in that you realized after four years that things will not work out for you.

    It's hard when you get your heart broken to trust and to allow yourself to love again. But life is all about taking chances, if you never try you'll never know. This could be your opportunity for find your 'happily ever after' and I think you should at least give it a shot.

    I know for me, I know that I can never be hurt again as badly as I was when my husband and I separated a year ago but I still have so much hope for the future, hope that I will meet someone who will give as well as receive.

    Don't ever give up, life is short, an opportunity missed is an opportunity wasted. You just never know until you open up your heart and try.

    Just my humble opinion.

  • thank you, for your imput and support, I feel ready.... but I am sooo scared.

  • You're very welcome. It's good that you feel ready and it is's natural to be afraid when you've been hurt. I wish you all the very very best.

    Peace and love

  • I remember your story sexygem. Do you mind if I ask what happened? I thought things were going well, but it has been awhile.

    I believe each relationship helps you prepare for the next. It might take one or two or even more, but the collective lessons that you learn from all your relationships ultimately helps you find the one that pulls it all together. Often times it can be very painful, but they are very valuable lessons. I’ve had some cr-a-ppy things done to me and I have always learned to forgive, however it took many years to learn to forget so I carried that hurt into the next relationship. We throw up walls when we fear being hurt, and that wall not only protects us but it holds us back from recognizing the potentials we have in front of us.

  • He decided to move over 100 miles away and I did not want a ld relationship, but tried to make it work only to find a woman who he had feelings for had recently moved to the same area 😞 after everything we've been through I just can't go there and have to deal with my own insecurities about her or his ability to remain commited.

  • Frankly, I don’t like ldr’s either. I was in one for about 3 years but I like the experience of daily life with a person in order to get to know them, so it took me longer to get the feel for him. I’m sorry this happened sexygem. Maybe there’s some history here but I guess you never really felt safe with him. I can understand, there’s really no point in putting yourself through it if it doesn’t feel secure. You will find it…hopefully with this new interest…

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