Lawdawg - HELP - need your insight into this cancer male.

  • Hi Lawdawg,

    I was on this site under another name but my husband found it and read all of my postings. You gave me some good insight on "How to Fall out of Love with a Cancer Male".

    Ok here is my story again. Me Pisces, My unrequited love (M) Cancer. (my husband Pisces, Unrequited loves wife Gemini). I had been chatting with M for hours a day online for over a year and a half. I still love him from 13 years ago (when we were co-workers) after confessing my love for hm years ago...he got engaged and married and is still married to Gemini woman.

    My husband found these postings (confessing all of the time we were talking, etc) and he confronted Cancer male. He sent him an email asking him to refrain from talking to me. Saying that I was "in love with him and not just ordinary love but - THE ONE - type of love" M told my husband that he would comply and apologized that we were just friends. (Now mind you, he would sing my so sweet and attentive and mentoring...) I tried to contact him, he told me that he would be ignoring me, that my husband contacted him and for me to get my S>H>I>T> together. I told him that I didn't have in love feelings for my husband anymore, that I thought I was broken but always felt that way about him so I am not broken. From him I got Nothing...except...meh.

    That was April2nd of this year. I tried to talk to him about once every other week. He continued to ignore me. My grandmother died in April, I let him know...still nothing....Then on June 2nd...(2 months later) I IM him again, asking him if he is still ignoring me. He reply's "that depends" are you and your husband ok (we had seperated for a week as a result of the M confrontation). I told him that we were together still. And he said good. and then resumed contact. But not like before...He NEVER emails me, messages me, or says anything nice or sweet anymore. But he usually responds, sometimes he ignores me. I wrote him a birthday poem (I never wrote a poem for anyone - I am songwriter, but I never went on a limb like that) He only made a comment that I got one fact wrong. He didn't even say if he liked it. Or thank you....and he always says thank you. (His birthday was July 1st) I am so sad. I miss my best friend....(I told him all of this to which I get no acknowledgment) The only thing I get from him is when someone else gives me attention (online when we play poker) he acts a bit jealous but that's it. Now you probably don't remember, but I haven't physcially seen him in 12 years. We just chat.

    So my question is....Why? Why did he bother talking to me again if I am on this "punishment"...I know he wants to protect his family. He has a son. But then why bother talking to me? I asked him point blank in a message...I said "Please just tell me if you don't want to talk to me anymore, so I can just let go"....I really love him. I truly do...I never met anyone like him. But I have never known him as anything but a friend. I fantasize about what it would be like but I have no point of reference...and I am glad because I wouldn't survive it all. Lawdawg, will he ever be normal around me again? Why does he bother if he doesn't care? I cry often now. We have this mutual male friend (I have never met in person but he grew up with M) and I told M that I spoke with this friend on the phone...It was in the context of a bunch of other stuff and he only said "phone, eh?"...I told him it was about business..and he said "Right...". Sounded a bit like jealousy...I don't know I am confused. I miss him and I would rather have his a friend than nothing. What do I do?

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