My abusive boss

  • Yo, about 2 years old, I used to work at the place called New York City Department of aging, and my boss was very abusive, her name is Livia. She tell me live garage, I try to do my job just like everybody else and she didn't give any credit at all. I understand there at bosses like that she is crazy. She scream and yell. And I don't get any support. My co-workers told me that so many goodtemps quit. (I don't blame them.) I feel like I don't have any power left. It's stress myself out and I feel like there's discrimation. My job coach was no help at all. So I want to know why is she so abusive all the time?

  • Bartmanhomer,

    First of all, try to remember that her abusiveness has NOTHING to do with you. It's all her baggage.

    If you can try to separate your feelings from hers, I think you'll start to get your power back.

    Right now, you're feeding into HER ISSUES and you're allowing yourself to be mangled by them.

    Before you go to work or when you're at work and you have to deal with her, imagine yourself surrounded by pure white light. This light is your protection and nothing can get past this white light, not even this woman.

    Yes, you have to defer to her because she's your boss, but you don't have to feed into her dysfunction. Try to separate yourself from her in your mind and imagination with LOVE and if you can't do it with love, then do it with an axe (just kidding).

    There's no excuse for her behavior. She must be a very unhappy person to be on such a power trip, so try to be kind and sympathetic, and remember that she's also a child of God.

    I've worked for bosses like that too and it's extremely difficult at times, but just keep reminding yourself that her issues are NOT your issues and take your power back.

    Don't let anyone or anything steal your power. Do not ALLOW it. Wrap yourself in a robe of light, do your job and let her abusiveness fall where it will, but don't let it touch you.

    She wants to provoke reactions in people. Don't play into it. Step out of the system if you can and let it go on without you. It will go on, but you don't have to be part of it.

    I feel for your situation. Peace be with you. And perhaps you'll be able to act as an agent of change in that work environment.

    Don't personalize ANYTHING that she does or says. It may take some practice, but you can do it. Just let it roll off your back like water on a duck's back.

    Blessed be. And BTW, is there anyone above her that you can go and complain to? Like HER boss? All the best to you.

  • Well I got news to tell you, she was a terrible boss and I let that place almost a year. WOO-HOO! And I didn't personalized anything it was just a discrimation.

  • Bartmanhomer,

    Im so sorry to hear about this situation , Its sad to know it was in the work place..

    i know that feeling of feeling as if you need to kiss butt esepcially because this

    is where your income is coming from.

    However people like those, I've come to realize even myself, its not always a personal

    isssue with you specifically.. those people have issues with themselves and take them out

    on other people to feel better or in control I dont know the exact reason, but see

    we come acroos these people all day long, people who are receptive, people who are

    discriminative against rasicst, people who just really dont give a damnn ya know ?

    & I've had it happen on several occasions when i come across someone having a bad day

    and so am I.. and two negative attitudes only clash.. Now I simply smile at people no matter how terrrible my days are, because I can only control myself and my attitude i cant control others

    so in situations like those you cant take it as a personal attack shes just mad about something

    and wants to make everyone else pissed off and it just becomes a cycle of negative energy

    because everyones mad, meaning nothing can no longer excel positively in that environment anymore because of the negative energy understand ? so in worst situations we have to smile and sometimes even say okay! hope you have a good day..

    I'll tell you this.. last night I went to a little social party gathering and what not..

    I did'nt even know the people hosting it but I was with a few friends who knew them

    and during the time we're entering the event theres more guys then gals

    and I happended to be with my guy friends and one of the hostess rudely told

    me to go to another room almost in a bullying tone because I was standing in the lobby

    where people had'nt yet paid so I kindly stood up, smiled, & said SURE..

    Later that night during the event.. See her conscious had killed her and she thought about

    how rude she approached me because im sure in her mind she thought i was an uptight gal with a sadity personality.. so she approached me again and said you know im sorry

    about how I came off to you, your actally a really cool girl for not going big about the situation

    & I just responded like: No i understand we all do it, its okay. & She even wanted my number to be apart of some more of there upcoming events & we chatted for awhile but because i basically surrendered to her she RESPECTED ME, & it was'nt ,me kissing her A-S-S i just did what i would have wanted done, most people only want respect anyway.

    the moral of the story is, some people appear B-I-T-CH-Y especially women

    because its natural for us alot of times, you just have to be in control of how you

    respond to it, dont let it get you down and dont let your pride ruin a potential

    beneficial relationship because of people's personal issues.. I've

    really learned also that people come to me for problems and for a long time

    instead of me listening I'd try to help them solve them BUT, we are'nt in control

    of problems being solved GOD IS, and sometimes all people really need is a ear to vent to

    ya know ?

    Im sorry for the long passage girl, I just know how it feels.. & how it can make a person

    feel. Goodluck !

  • Yeah, well screw that place. I'm happy where I'm at now.

  • Wow that's a long story.

  • Anyway I've been at that place since may 2008 to july 2009. I'm glad i got lay off at that job.

  • Good Morning Bartmanhomer.

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