CAPTAIN I would like your expertise on some love questions and career & money
first I have to ask you how you knew I had a big personality. lol
I want to thank you for your earlier insight regaarding, him feeling insecure by my gifting him and unconsciously showing him up with the whole money issue. I understand he needs to feel on top. But in the meantime time.......
Here goes, I am hurting so badly from the rejection I am feeling from this guy. Will he call won't he. usually I would have called him by now and he knows it! I refuse to give in because I always have. he said he'd call me and take me out in 2 days. that was 13 days ago.
15 since I have seen him he was supposed to call.
I was angry with him or not being attentive to me or giving the unspoken thing to me...his unspoken passion....whatever it was that he was holding back and I couldn't verbally express and it made me a little biting and stressed (i even thought to myself 'I will never come toi you again. goodbye'. --which was my inner voice of anger, i did not say it or show it, just felt it and thought it) he must have picke dup on it, given his psychic cancer ways, that is why he gave me a kiss.
now, about the June 26th lunar eclpise and the july 11th solar eclipse which I read if the relationship makes it through that it can be for life. that last night was July 30th, mind you, we did not fight. it was all under current and a little course teasing talk.
he has 3 boys with 3 different women, (started at 18, and he felt he was in love with each of them, and one woman was 15 years older than him). I have no children. He once joked that I will have his daughter.
I did have insecurities about my weight gain (which I am working on), and he said he loved my curves, but I have been really insecure....(as he is about money). This is a turn-off to him I am sure...even so.....
did he go back with his ex--whom he works with and does not have a child with, even though he said she is mean and not good fro him? or is there another...or is he just having space....he knows that I am in town till mid -august...plenty of time to get to see me... why is he neglecting me??? how do I know if he is just wanting his space? he has never waited this long to call me. 14 days at most. (but that was when I was in ny, however, now I am his hometown for the summer!! ) And he never called to thank me for the gifts! Is he mad? Will he call? Should I call, because I feel he should give in and be the man to my woman. I cannot bring myself to call, out of anger and I have to stand my ground. I have to change this dynamic
As for my career, I am in music and I want it so badlky (also I was out of work -not music related, as of June 26th --again that lunar eclipse) so now is a good time for my music to happen.
I read virgo will have money issues til 2012 when uranus leaves our sign...
any insight? into any of this? I will be so greatful.
THANK YOU for your time CAPTAIN! xo
To this man, the children he has will always pull him more than his relationship with you or his other women from the past. Like you, the other women are all waiting and hoping for the father of their children to return to them. You could indeed have a child with him but that would just mean you would be no. 4 woman on his list and it would be the child he devoted himself to and not you. He would soon find woman no. 5 to replace you. What amazes me about this whole situation is how very little self-esteem or love you must have to allow yourself to be treated like one small cog in this man's relationship assembly line. He is a disaster when it comes to love. Is this really all you think you deserve? Don't let your fears of not being attractive make you settle for so little.
As for the eclipses, can you really say your relationship has survived past these dates? I think not. Just because this guy has not told you offficially he is finished with you, he is. As soon as you turned out not to be the 'perfect' partner he was looking for, he lost heart. Already he is searching for the perfect little woman no. 5.
I don't feel you are going in the right direction with your music - it needs to be more commercial in some way. Until then, money flow will be poor.
yes, I see what you mean about the low self-esteem, I have had it very strongly since I gained weight. even before.
I really like this person because of who he had shown me early on and I could feel the pulling away.
He wants to be friends. I cannot do that. yes, he has NOT told me that he is officially over me, and I haven't told him either. My anger towards him has made me not call him and his disinterest in me (as well as anger towards my slightly biting words), I suppose has made him not call me.
I do believe I will hear from him, but I do not know what to say to him then.
right now, his love lies and tears, yes, tears, are disgusting to me. and yes, this is anger from rejection talking.
I want him to feel badly about his lack of communication and care for me.
It feels like he just said anything to me at the time, and I showered him with love, stupidly.
It hurts a lot to be dumped, he sdaid he didnt want to hurt me and he doesnt want to get hurt and that is why he can't be with me and he is sorry for it.
alsmot as if he wanted me to give him reason to change his mind, but I didn't do or say anything, I walked away, by saying goodnite, expectly to hear from him and see him 2 days later, to no avail
He kept talking about not trusting and I proved that I am trustworthy, I said snide remarks because he said some and his puuling away, and inattentiveness pushed me to it, plus he kept saying that he knows I like him a lot, and I didn't want to give him that, because he was sounding pompous, even though I told him before that I do like him alot.
It hurt him I am sure, but it wasn't anything that mean on my part. He's the one who is mean.
I am rambling. your words touched me hard. I appreciate your insight, I am working on my mistakes, hoping not to do them again with him or anyone else.
Even so, I wish it would be different.
career here I come.
not sure what direction, I should take. I am at a loss, and tired. and sooooo sad
The profession of 'jingle writer' jumped into my head for you while I was posting. I think any form of writing would be good for you but this way you could combine your music too.
well, I am a serious artist singer, in the realms of Joplin and Heart.
I need to get there quick, I have spent my energy on love and love loss.
It has tormented me for years and I need ot break free into my REAL career!
I made a contact and got the response...you have a nice voice....
This is from a major label exec. I am tired of being turned down or left in limbo in love and music when I am brimming with love, joy and talent.
( I did a jingle or 2 a long time ago, don't know anyone in jingles) nothing seem to be working for me, no in...I need an in....
When I perform people are entranced I am telling you the serious truth, I am more than that with my singing.
I need someone who believes in me and who can put me oput there.
Also, Saturn (that a***** planet is finally leaving my sign in 2 days...now what? Uranus is wreaking havoc on finances til 2012, hopefully it is that I have m,oney and am learning how to save and use money and have it properly.
What about posting yourself singing on youtube or Facebook, etc.? Many people are finding success through promoting themselves that way. When you can show producers you have quite a following, they will be more interested.
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oops was I allowed to put those links on there? how do i delete a post on this?
Admin will remove any links.