I need some advice...

  • My name is Nellie. I have a daughter, who turned one on Sunday. I am still involved with her father, but recently things have not felt as smooth as they once were. he is a recovering alcoholic, and he relapses once every 6 weeks or so - wasting a lot of money in the process. he isnt at school nd he works a low paying job. he cant drive anymore because he has had too many DUIs. but he loves me. coreection, he adores me. he rubs my feet, doesnt care if i shave, makes me dinner, carries me to bed, and treats his daughter like a princess. he's a sweet man, with a rough life. I love him, and he really is trying to recover.

    I am so sad to feel my feelings for him weaken. Starting with sex, I am simply not interested. His lack of a future agitates me. I want to get married, but he never has the money for a ring - let alone a wedding. I'm going to school now and I just lost a job (I suffer from bipolar disorder and I believe it was due to my attitude that I lost my second job). Thankfully I am working as a CNA as well.

    I'm unhappy. I want to see a psychiatrist but I can't until at least 6 weeks. My moods swing up and down drastically. I am on no medication, and don't know much about getting on any. My hours have just been cut due to a woman returning to work and taking most of them. I am losing money. My car is breaking down, and I'm hoping to use my student grants for the Fall to get a new one.

    I don't know what I'm asking.... I guess I want to know, whats wrong with me? Is my man worth the wait, or will this never change? Why am I so angry all the time? I feel like I'm going to lose this job as well if I dont get a hold of my emotions soon.

    Help me. What do you see in me? What do you see FOR me?

  • You may love your partner but he is dragging you down. You have enough on your plate to contend with - you don't need to have another 'child' to look after. It may be the best thing to withdraw your help and support from this man, otherwise he may never stand on his own feet.

    You need to do the best for yourself and your child. Her father is not helping her or you. Move on - it may give him the impetus to give up the drink finally if he loses what he loves. Or it could make him worse but that's his choice and you can't prop him up through a misguided sense of loyalty forever.

    You know what you have to do. Look after your own health and well-being and that of your daughter.

  • just try to change him by showing more love towards him and show him what is the life with love and alow him to be with your baby and in peace full manner tell him the situations that you are going to face in feature and just tell me your plans on baby and make him to divert to wards your family. While coming to u just take care of your health because if u went ill who will take care about your baby just think about here. And right now i think u are in a very times just approach a physic in order to get away from these i refer you one of the best physic who i know his name is EWAN and he is really help full person and i ensure that he will suggest u the best and what is going to be happen in your life just approach him. If u want to know more about him just go through this link

  • Hi Dafphodil,

    Well sweety I know what ur going through and feeln but I have it double...Im a Cancer with mood swings and plus Im BPD (border line personality disorder) also. and its like BP .But Im on meds which helps me out alot, but I still do have my ups & downs once in awhile, but not as bad with my meds..What Captain & gundlasandeep is sayn is true u do need to get ur health back in order for ur sake and ur child cuz if u dont its gonna get worse...after u get ur life in order and he sees that you can do it with out him, then mabe he will wake up and relize that he lost a good thing..if not there will be a guy out there who will love u and except u as who u are and will have a JOB to help you and ur daughter out...and wont put it all on u.. So good luck and take care of urself and hang in there..swty.. cuz us kind of ppl can make it in life too...God Bless U...and ur daughter

  • Nellie,

    I think you are in the United States and I apologize if I am wrong. You can seek counseling with any mental health professional. This does not have to be a psychiatrist but can be a social worker, counselor, or psychologist. Given that you are a student, you may be eligible for help the your local department of health and human resources (not only with medical care but sometimes with car repairs also) and if not, they may be able to provide the name of a nonprofit organziation that offers free mental health services. A psychiatrist can prescribe medications for you but sometimes a general practitioner can as well. I am assuming that you have been formally diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. If not, please remember that mental health is very tricky and there are guidelines for evaluating you. Please take care of yourself first as Bipolar runs in families and your daughter could suffer as well. It is important that she sees you are caring for yourself and as she grows, she will care for herself as well.

    I can’t help much with the boyfriend situation because mine is much the same. I think only he can make himself better and sometimes we think we can fix them but we can’t. First we have to fix ourselves.

    Hope I have helped.


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