Captain or anyone: Was sending the letter to him the right thing to do?

  • Okay, so my recent question on here was regarding my someday soon-to-be ex husband (in case people reading this remember me) but this question is regarding my ex. My life is just like a soap opera sometimes lol!

    Anyways, I have been in love with my ex since the day I practically met him. We have known each other and kept in touch on and off since 2003. We broke up in 2005 due to me having to move with my parents to another state. We lost touch, had our own relationships, and got back in touch again. He started confessing his feelings for me, etc. and saying basically everything I have always longed to hear. At that time, I was someone else and so I became confused and realized that my feelings for this ex were indeed STILL there and had always been there, so me and that guy took some time apart. He understood and told me to sort out my feelings because it was not fair to anyone.

    To make a long story short, my ex and I began chatting. We started making plans to see each other. First he said he would see my on his birthday. Plans changed, and he decided Mother's Day was better because he wanted to surprise his mother on the phone with the news and we would talk to her together. Then plans changed again and he said he would be showing up in June, June 9th to be exact.

    Well shortly after that, we seemed to lose communication again. I called him (this was the last time we spoke) and he told me that he was having some problems and that he would tell me what those problems were when he had solved them. He told me that he would call me some other time. I told him two things. #1 I asked if he was REALLY going to call me and #2 I told him that he confuses me. He told me I confuse him too and I asked him how? He told me he did not know. We hung up angry and that was the last time we spoke to one another.

    I am wondering WHY did he say all these things to me and not follow through OR at least be a man and tell me the truth or that he changed his mind!

    So I sent him a certified letter recently telling him how wrong it was to tell me such serious things (marriage, having children, living together, etc.) and then stopping all communication without any reason. I have been tracking the letter that I sent and see on the USPS website that a notice was left and then it was forwarded to a different address. The status has not changed since.

    My questions are:

    Why did he do this to me, again (back in 2005 he did the same thing)?

    Do I just forget about him?

    Is this my closure from him?

    Will I ever see this man again? Not be with him, but see him again in this life anyway?

    Will he read the letter I wrote? Will he even receive it?

    These are the questions boggling my mind. I truly just want to FORGET about him. But I can never do so! It is like I have this tie to him. I don't know, maybe it is because I got my hopes up with all the serious things he was saying.

    Thank you!


  • Oh and also -- What problems do you see him having? (I do not mean to pry about him, but I am just curious) If you cannot tell me, I understand, as it IS his business. 🙂

  • Bumping this, thank you 🙂

    (and I just wanted to add that my husband and I have been separated and leading our own separate lives, him in Honduras and me here in the United States, since 2008 in case there was any confusion about anything).

  • Bump 🙂

  • Bump 🙂

  • Hey Megan, I had a relationship with someone who was hot and cold like that too. I was truly in love with him. He was so charming and fun and could be very sweet and loving BUT he was also very frustrating and could never stick to any plans. EVER. Finally, I realized after some distance that I would be much happier with someone who was able to make a commitment and stick to it. This guy still contacts me every now and then (ten years after our relationship ended) He'll write with all these plans to meet up and then disappears again for a few months or a year. Then, he does it again ... even as far as getting my address and sending me a present. I truly love this guy. I think he means well and means it at the time he's making all these big plans but unfortunately not someone to ever depend on and that's awfully important in a relationship. I don't know the answers to your question concerning your guy but I just wanted to tell you I had the same type of experience and my advice would be to cut this one loose. Doesn't sound like someone you could ever really count on and you deserve much better than that!

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