HANS WOLFGANG...can you please give some insight?



  • Oh - that is so perfect for me... I am probably pretty far away from that - but at least I can feel the taste of sweetness in getting my own feet back under me... the comfort of balance - loving all, loving my special ones, without neediness... in fact, as I look over my life, mostly this is how I love, but the one person who threw that balance was my former friend I have written so often about. In fact, though we now never communicate, and the pain and heartache is almost entirely dissipated - I still think of him more than once daily - he is STILL such a part of the fabric of me. I still work at restraint to let him be - to not reach out to him. I am grateful I can finally succeed at this effort, but I will be even more grateful when I no longer even think of him. It will happen, won't it? Al in all, everything is so good now, I am so grateful (except for having to know my dad is declining in health...) I know I will continue to rise in my consciousness progression - but I am currently content with the pace and the humanity of the whole process.... thank you Hans - I hope you are well too!



  • firehorsecrab,

    I am!

    Just becoming old does not mean that your dad has become

    a wise man. Age in itself does not make anybody wise.

    One may grow old; that does not mean that one has

    become a grown-up. Growing old and becoming grown-up

    are totally different phenomena.



  • Hans - you've gotten me thinking once again. At first I was a little puzzled at you talking about my dad not being wise when I had asked if I would ever stop thinking of my friend? Then I started thinking that perhaps you are drawing a parallel between my friend and my dad - they do have some similar energies. Perhaps this is the case. My dad is wise in many ways and certainly, he is somewhat foolish in others, but aren't we all? He is kind and loving and he wants to do right by everyone, and even if he isn't perfectly wise, he still deserves to be taken care of when he needs it. I am just struggling between wanting to be there for him and not wanting to have to leave my own family for an extended time. hmmmm....



  • firehorsecrab,

    if I would ever stop thinking of my friend? no.

    he is somewhat foolish in others, but aren't we all? no.

    Father Murphy is chosen to do some missionary work

    for the Catholic church, and is sent to a remote part

    of the Arctic.

    After a few months, a bishop comes to visit.

    "How do you like it here," asks the bishop, "among

    the ice and polar bears?"

    "Just fine," says Father Murphy. "The Eskimos are

    very friendly people."

    "And what about the weather?" asks the bishop.

    "Ah," says the priest, "as long as I have my rosary

    and my whiskey, I don't care a bit about the weather."

    "I am glad to hear of it," says the bishop. "Speaking

    of whiskey, how about a glass or two?"

    "Great idea!" says Father Murphy. "Rosary! Can you

    bring us the whiskey?"



  • It's all in the turn of the phrase, eh? Funny... and communication is always subject to interpretation from our own individual vantage point, eh? Thanks Hans... : )



  • firehorsecrab,

    such is the way of conditioning.



  • Hi Hans, since you're online - can I share the final chapter in my story with my friend I've asked so much about. He had told me it was important to him that we could remain friends, but couldn't really be a friend to me, unless I could become completely detached (I do know - you've been coaching me to become unattached in love - I just haven't gotten anywhere close to achieving that state) so, he finally came clean and told me he doesn't want to hear from me again. I ended up feeling very relieved and released form his hold that I had never been able to get completely free from. I am truly grateful to finally know the truth and feel my balance on solid ground beneath my feet. My question to you is - will he ever understand where I was coming form and will he cease despising me. Not that it really matters - I would just prefer to not be hated, and at least understood. I feel quite certain that we will never have to see each other again now - do you see this too? Thanks...



  • Hi Hans,

    YThanks for the wisdom again. As I search to find the way to let of the pain I do fiond myself arguing with my ego. Some day.... I am still not quite sure about how I am still working through the death of my soul mate and father to my children but each growth is a milestone to the experience of emotions that bogle my soul. the paths we are chosen to find and seek are most often the ones that makes us scour the depths of our souls. Maybe I am not to be with a partner for this time but I know that it is how the love you send is how the love is recieved. And currently it is becoming the person and mother of my children I kinow this now. As I find the lioght to seek out my darkness that i did not even realise I had fallen into. Thanks for the insight of my fighhting within my heart.



  • firehorsecrab,

    will he ever understand where I was coming form: no.

    and will he cease despising me: no.

    do you see this too? no.

    Right now put your total energy into meditation till

    you feel that the mind has become silent, that you have

    become capable of putting your mind off or on whenever

    you want. The moment you have learned the art of

    putting your mind on and off you have found the

    ignition key, then method is finished; it has no more

    value, you can forget all about it.



  • uullee,

    you impose certain things upon yourself forcibly. Relax!



  • Meditation will help me let it all be.... And do you think he really wants for us to never be in contact again? I still have trouble believing this. But I will comply with his stated wishes. Does he have mixed feelings about this?



  • Hi Hans, Liked what you said about bliss and joy in earlier posts. Can relate to this.



  • firehorsecrab,

    And do you think he really wants for us to never be in contact again? No.

    Does he have mixed feelings about this? No.

    In fact, everybody is both, having mixed feelings. But you have not looked

    at yourself, and your mind is caught up in logical

    patterns. So whatsoever is illogical within you,

    whatsoever is wild within you, you don't look at it;

    you simply deny it, you suppress it. That's how the

    unconscious mind is created.



  • Dalia,

    on the last judgment day I can guarantee you there is

    going to be no judgment, because there will be billions

    and billions of people: all those people who have been

    lying in the graves for centuries, all of you, and all

    the people of the future up till the last judgment day

    comes. The crowd is going to be so big that it is

    almost impossible... And remember, half of the crowd

    will be women; there will be so much chattering and so

    much searching -- everybody is looking for his husband

    or his wife. I don't think that there is any

    possibility, particularly on that day, of any judgment.

    The whole idea is nonsense. In one day...! And why

    should these poor people wait in their graves?



  • Thank you once again Hans - you are endlessly patient and kind to me... Today, I am seeing myself with clearer eyes, and I am grateful for this. I would really be helped by taking your wise advice to heart to meditate and turn off my mind - I am constantly whirling myself up into little tornadoes of thought... But I remain hopeful that I can calm my mind and find some internal calm.... it's a worthy goal. Breathe, breathe.... thank you so much for always responding so wisely and graciously, it means very much to me.



  • firehorsecrab,

    that has been the trouble. Unless I attack your belief system, your ideology, I cannot be of any help to you; I cannot share myself with you. There is a wall, a thick wall. I can go on shouting; you will not hear me. I have to hit the wall continuously, hammer it, at least make a hole in it, so I can see you, you can see me – face to face. And you can revive what has been taken away from you. You can give yourself back your innocent childhood, and only from there a real inquiry into truth begins. Only from there religion is possible; otherwise you can only talk about religion.



  • Wow - that is so interesting and good for me to hear. Your description of hitting my wall is exactly how I have felt about my friend... I guess he was teaching me by negative example exactly what I myself am profoundly guilty of - it's really quite beautiful how simple it all is. The qualities that irritate and bother us the most in others is exactly mirrored by them from our own selves. Striking, once again. Than you for being willing to keep shouting - until finally a whisper or two is truly heard by me. Thank you.... 🙂



  • firehorsecrab,

    thank you for your moving feedback.

    Something may look very logical and true in thought,

    and may not be so in reality; the reality may be just

    the opposite. Reality has no obligation to follow logic

    -- it has its own ways. You have to put aside all logic

    and look into reality. Reality is the only

    criterion.



  • This post is deleted!


  • Reality is my focus now. Just since I miss hearing from you (and yet am so glad and relived that my angst has continued to subside...) Now, in a more practical curiosity - do you see that the Nursing program that I have applied for will get its funding AND if it it does - that I will then be accepted into it? I am very curious!


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