HansWolfgang: Please, any future here?

  • Hi Hans,

    After your last post i decided to take some time and see how things evolved. We talked tonight about my letter and i tried to be open instead of holding back. You were right as far as him trying with another girl and getting shot down. He told me what had happened, etc. and also how he accepted that he didn't treat me right, etc. But it did sound like would want to start over. So i guess this is it for us then? There is no chance later on for us? You suggested before to follow my gut feeling... and what i thought was my gut feeling was telling me that maybe he wanted to give it another try? If my gut feeling was wrong, then what was i listening to then? Or am i reading our conversation from tonight wrong? At least we were able to be more open and clarify more things tonight and at the very least towards the end of the conversation we were actually laughing and joking for a change.

  • Dear Hans.

    I like your straightforward style - It is so interesting that you kept mentioning the Tao to me. I am a tai chi teacher and I had just read the Tao of Pooh by George Hoff with its simplicity it helped me to understand/ the Tao. I was begining to bemoan the fact that I am a piglet till I read the Te of Piglet by the same author and see the virtue in the small = all that to say im impressed by your reading style. I am looking forward to my art show and see that taking up the old beau would have derailed my progress. I have just one more question -

    I have raised three kids mostly alone and maintained friendships for years so I dont see myself as much as a wanderer though that did strike a chord with the inner me. Am I destined to be alone? If so why do I have this deep desire for relationship (just like everybody else?)

    Is there a love relationship anywhere on the horizon?

  • sagibaby,

    So i guess this is it for us then? Yes.

    There is no chance later on for us? Yes.

    maybe he wanted to give it another try? yes.

    If my gut feeling was wrong, then what was i listening to then? Please remember, your gut feelings are not your emotions, try to differentiate between deep feelings and emotions.

    Or am i reading our conversation from tonight wrong? No.

    It happened....

    A hospital secretary moved to a new post, and decided

    immediately to tighten up on 'security'. He set up a

    man in the gatehouse with very strict instructions to

    challenge all comers. Those not on business were to be

    turned firmly away. The man who was put on the door was

    a great thinker.

    Quite soon a young woman marched up, seeking to

    enter. 'Hi, wait a bit, what is your business?' shouted

    the gate-keeper, the thinker.

    'I'm a maternity patient,' said the girl.

    'Can you prove it? Are you pregnant?'

    'Don't be daft. I have not seen anything for six


    'Ah, I thought so, you've come to the wrong place, the

    Eye Hospital is further down the road.'

    The people who are addicted to thinking have their

    own logic; they don't listen, they don't see. They are

    always garbed with their own thinking. The woman says,

    'don't be daft. I have not seen anything for six

    months.' And the thinker concludes. 'Right. I thought

    so. You have come to the wrong place, the Eye Hospital

    is further down the road.' He has missed the whole


    Thinking is like that -- it goes on missing the whole

    point. If you really want to have any contact with

    reality, then thinking is not the bridge, it is the


  • Joyful50,

    Am I destined to be alone? No.

    why do I have this deep desire for relationship? because you are fearing the end, you worry how about to stop.

    Is there a love relationship anywhere on the horizon? No, not yet.

    Love can also make you aware of fear, because love is

    also a kind of death. Your ego has to die, only then is

    love possible. It is a very partial death, but still

    something close to death. Hence people talk about love,

    but are very afraid of love. They talk about love

    because they feel very lonely. That loneliness creates


  • hello hans 😄 me again!

    i've started highschool and just adjusting.

    you were right about me being depressed, without me even saying anything about it to you beforehand, which is quite remarkable. i just wanted to thank you for helping me so much!

    also, i wanted to ask about my future. everyone keeps bringing up that i am starting the next four years of the rest of my life, and it's honestly kinda freaking me out. i have wanted to become an actress all of my life, but now i'm starting to get raised eyebrows whenever i mention it, like it's not stable enough. i just wanted to make sure; is this where you see my life going? will i be successful? thank you tons 🙂 --danielleissmiling

  • danielleissmiling,

    hello dear,

    i wanted to ask about my future: if you just want it stable, you will walk like a beggar through your life in emotional coldness.

    is this where you see my life going? yes.

    will i be successful? no.

    --danielleissmiling, rest is the supreme goal, work is the medium.

    Total relaxation, with complete freedom from

    effort, is the supreme goal.

    Then life is a play, and then even effort becomes


    Poetry, philosophy, religion are the fruits of


    For me, labour has no intrinsic value: on the

    contrary, I see it as a burden.

    As long as work is a prerequisite for rest it

    cannot be blissful.

    When work flows out of a state of rest voluntarily

    then it is blissful.

    So I cannot call rest a sin.

    Nor do I support sacrifice.

    I do not want anyone to live for anybody else, or

    one generation to sacrifice itself for another.

    Such sacrifices turn out to be very costly --


    who make them expect an inhuman return.

    This is why mothers expect the impossible from

    their daughters.

    If each mother lives for her daughter who will live for


    For every daughter is a potential mother.

    No, I want everyone to live for herself -- for her

    own happiness, her own state of rest.

    When a mother is happy she does much more for her

    daughter-- and easily, because it comes out of her


    Then there is neither sacrifice nor renunciation;

    what she does comes naturally out of her being a

    mother --

    and a happy mother at that.

    Then she has no inhuman expectations of her daughter and

    where there is no pressure from expectations,

    expectations are fulfilled -- out of the daughter being



    In short, taoism teaches each person to be selfish.

    Altruistic teachings have taught man nothing but

    suicide. and a suicidal woman is always homicidal;


    unhappy sow their sorrow amongst others.

    I am also against the sacrifice of the present for

    the future, because what is is always present; if


    live in it totally the future will be born out of

    it --

    and when it comes it too will be the present.

    For she who has the habit of sacrificing the


    for the future the future never comes because


    comes is again always sacrificed for that which

    has not

    yet come.

    As for the future --

    the present is everything.

    And the past too is also a present -- that has

    passed away;

    and the future too -- that is a present that is


    to come.

    Life is always here and now

    so do not bother about past and future.

  • your words were truly inspiring. you're right; it shouldn't matter what other people are saying i should do. i need to live fr me and do what i love.

    you see my life heading in the career of pursuing acting; but you don't see me being sucessful? 😞 i'm not sure what you mean, because you're telling me to pursure what i love when in the end i'll be left in the dust with no success.

  • danielleissmiling,

    you don't see me being sucessful? no.

    Doing what you really love needs no success, you love is enough.

    Bliss makes you victorious.

    Money cannot make you victorious; at the most

    It covers up your property

    It does not make you rich, remember.

    It simply helps you to forget your poverty,

    That's all -- poverty remains, persists

    But becomes repressed.

  • HEY HANS 😄

    i've been feeling, better more upbeat. 🙂

    i just wanted to ask the love compatibility of a boy i've recently had my eye on. haha 😄 😄

    january 16th 1993 -him

    april 3rd 1996 - me


  • This post is deleted!

  • Hey Hans, i like your style...i have a question about my love life and life in general...my boyfriend just broke up with me and wants us to be friends, his birthday is 5/30/1980 and mine is 4/30/1980...it's kinda hard for me to just think of him as my friend and he said that he hates where his life is now and he doesn't have room for a girlfriend due to his finances and lack of success currently....so will we end up being good friends? Will he find financial success within the next year? Did he really just break up with me because he doesn't love me that much anymore or is there something more to it? Thank you hans....

  • bump

Log in to reply