HansWolfgang: Please, any future here?



  • Hello HansWolfgang- I've read your posts helping others here. So, I decided to give you a try. I've struggled with this relationship for a few months: hot/cold, connected/disconnected, etc.. My birthdate is 07/04/1958 and His is 12/22/1953. This is long distance currently. Do we have a future at having a permanent relationship?



  • Softshellcrab,

    So, I decided to give you a try: relax and withdraw.

    My birthdate is 07/04/1958: This signifies that indecision or worry about some money matter may be a large part of your experience. This has such a strong creative energy associated with it that if you don't find some productive, creative outlet for its energies, you will inevitably feel afraid and indecisive. The key is to find ways to express yourself. It could also mean getting two opportunities for work at one time or having to split your time between two projects or money-making deals. Often variety can be a blessing allowing you to explore other areas. Usually, however, lack of focus brings lack of achievement or lack of detail in one project or the other. Knowing this may help you avoid wasting this invaluable creative force.

    Do we have a future at having a permanent relationship? No.

    Your heart has so much love, so much beauty, it can fill the whole universe, it is oceanic. Allow it to spread and expand, and share it with people.



  • Thank you for the look.



  • Softshellcrab,

    this is the wise woman who looks at the objective

    conditions. She will yield. She is always yielding, she is

    always saying yes -- because if you say no, then your

    heart is not open. No always comes from the ego. So if

    a wise woman has to say no, she will still use the

    terminology of yes. She will not say no outright, she

    will use the terminology of yes. If a foolish woman wants

    to say yes, she will feel the difficulty of not saying

    no. She will use the terminology of no, and if she has to

    yield, she will yield grudgingly. She will yield

    offended, resisting.



  • I came back here to ask: Why is the answer No to a permanent relationship? and I saw your post: Maybe I am tired, which is true, but I read this and re-read it a few times and still, I am confused. Can you explain.



  • Softshellcrab,

    Why is the answer No to a permanent relationship? Because he is interested in his work, money and career, not in a relationship.

    Can you explain: you are always fighting, you even try to fight with me....

    Live in the care of learned men who explain best what listening, remembering, right conduct, contemplation and meditation are.



  • Hello Hans,

    please can you see him coming back to me as he did in January or is he moving away for good?

    what is he thinking of me at this time??

    What turned him off lastly??

    should I move on in regard to this relationship??

    thank you a lot

    a



  • Art10,

    please can you see him coming back to me? yes.

    what is he thinking of me at this time?? that you are withdrawing yourself being introverted.

    What turned him off lastly?? That you tried really to help.

    should I move on in regard to this relationship?? no.

    You should use your whole energy to create more.



  • Hello Hanswolfgang! 🙂

    Like Art10, i actually had similar questions. I put the info/post in a topic called "Extremely Sad about Cancer Man".... im just curious to know...

    1.) Is he still thinking about me? Does he feel anything for me?

    2.) Will we get to at least talk or become friends later on?

    3.) Does he miss me?

    4.) What turn him off or made him change his mind about me?

    5.) Did he read the letter & birthday card that i sent him? If so, what does he think about me now?

    6.) Should i give up on him?

    Thank you very much! 🙂



  • Thank you a lot Hans,

    So interesting to hear these!

    I don't understand this:

    me: What turned him off lastly??

    you: That you tried really to help.

    I didn't help in fact. I am introverted so I am in withdrawal,

    I wish this could work but he has another girl I know.

    any other advice??

    thank you so much,

    a



  • Hans:

    Thank you



  • sagibaby,

    im just curious to know...: follow your gut feelings.

    1.) Is he still thinking about me? Yes.

    Does he feel anything for me? No.

    2.) Will we get to at least talk or become friends later on? Yes.

    3.) Does he miss me? No.

    4.) What turn him off or made him change his mind about me? That you were such dominant.

    5.) Did he read the letter & birthday card that i sent him? No.

    6.) Should i give up on him? No.

    One afternoon, Miss Pinkey Dickey, the librarian,

    comes into Doctor Chopoff's office with a small growth

    on her cheek. Doctor Chopoff examines the little

    blemish carefully, and then prescribes some green

    pills.

    "There you are, Miss Dickey," says Chopoff. "If it is

    what I think it is, that should take care of it."

    But two weeks later, Pinkey is back in the doctor's

    office. This time, a small wooden twig has sprouted out

    of the growth on her cheek.

    "Hmmmm, interesting," says Doctor Chopoff. "If it is

    what I think it is, these should take care of it!" And

    he gives her a bottle of blue pills.

    But two weeks later, Pinkey is back. This time the

    twig has grown into a branch with leaves and flowers on

    it. The doctor examines it very carefully and then

    says, "Hmmmm, interesting. If it is what I think it is,

    then these should take care of it, for sure!" And he

    gives Pinkey a bottle of red pills.

    But one month later, Miss Pinkey Dickey is back in

    Doctor Chopoff's office. "Doctor!" she cries. "Look at

    me now!"

    The doctor is shocked to see Pinkey barely able to

    get through the door because she now has a small tree

    growing out of her head.

    "Hmmmm," says Chopoff. "A rare and interesting case.

    If it is what I think it is, these should certainly

    take care of it!" -- and he hands her some green and

    purple spotted pills.

    For six months, Doctor Chopoff does not hear anything

    from Miss Dickey. Then one day the door of his office

    bursts off its hinges and Pinkey Dickey comes

    staggering in. The doctor cannot believe his eyes. He

    can hardly see Pinkey underneath the huge apple tree,

    flowering bushes, large rocks and a bubbling waterfall

    coming out of her head.

    "Help me, doctor!" she cries. "What is it?"

    "Aha!" exclaims Doctor Chopoff. "Now I know what it

    is! It is a beauty spot!"



  • Art10,

    I didn't help in fact. But you tried.

    any other advice?? Fight.

    Certain music can create great sexuality in you.

    Certain other music can create great serenity in you.

    Sounds go and hit your particular centres. Modern music

    hits only the sex centre. It almost creates a sexual

    delirium, a sexual hysteria; it is hysterical.

    Classical music goes higher. There are people like

    Beethoven who reach to the highest peak. Just listening

    to Beethoven is enough to create a meditative space

    inside and outside. The eastern music goes very deep.

    It is absolutely non-sexual, it never stirs the lower

    instincts. It gives you wings.



  • Softshellcrab,

    life is a gift. But

    we are so unaware of it that we never thank existence,

    we don't feel any gratitude. so much is given yet we

    remain complaining. We go on asking for more and more.

    And the misery of the mind is that the more you give,

    the more it asks for. It becomes more demanding, more

    stubborn, more arrogant, more violent, more aggressive

    -- and that is not the way to be blissful. That is the

    way to h-ell!



  • Thank you very much. However, dominant? How so? If anything i was more submissive/passive with him. And regarding what i sent him... he didn't read it, so like he didn't even receive it then? Or just ignore it/threw it away? Will we maybe have another chance to start over later on? And im sorry but i sort of got ur story. I think i did. So so. 😕



  • Hans,

    You are absolutely right. Life is a gift, for which I am thankful each and every day. I was saved from death and that is why my heart loves so strong.... all the world.... all its people.... all its creatures. My gift of life and purpose reach far beyond my personal wants. You said I fight, I fight with myself, not others.



  • sagibaby,

    However, dominant? Yes.

    How so? By retaining your temperance.

    he didn't even receive it then? yes.

    Or just ignore it/threw it away? No.

    Will we maybe have another chance to start over later on? No.

    Avoid all images. Just keep your inner space clean

    and open, mirrorlike... and then see whatsoever is

    seen.



  • Softshellcrab,

    there is a psychological disease called "masochism".

    No ancient scripture even has any idea about it; not

    that the disease was not existent then -- it was more

    existent than it is now -- but they had a different

    name for it. They used to call it "saintliness."

    "Masochism" is derived from a man's name, Masoch. He

    used to beat himself, torture himself. Unless there is

    some pleasure in it, why should one do it?



  • Ok Hans, im starting to understand everything after looking introspective and can see where you are coming from. Seems that everything is pretty much done then. The only part that im still confused a bit is... when i asked you before if i should give up on him your answer was "No". But then when i asked if we could have a another chance to start over later on, your answer was also "No". Doesn't both answers contradict one another then?? 😕



  • 1 - Did he ever cared about me at all or was he just pretending?

    2 - Seems like perhaps at times he lied to me? Concerning what parts was he lying?

    3 - When we were breaking up he said that next time he was in this area (i live about 1 hr from him and his best friend lives here, so he comes to visit sometimes), he mentioned that he would call me up so we could hang out. Was he saying that just to come across as "Mr. Nice Guy" or did he actually mean that?

    4 - After reading my letter, does he thinks im crazy or something - What or how does he see me as?

    5 - He is looking for a girl that is already set in her career like he is and was turn off/disappointed by the fact that im not that and instead still finishing school?

    6 - At some point during the time that we were together, a new girl came along that he became interested in? That was part of the reasons for the breakup too, because he is seeing her now?


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