Calling all CANCERS ! Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



  • dear passionate87,

    it is kind of vague from wat i see.but wat i can clearly is tat, he is in love totally with somebody who is humble and lovely. examine yourself whether is tat person is you coz i cant tell how your character from my readings.

    grab the chance when u have it when mercury retro goes direct>> on the 12/09/2010

    gud luckk

    yy



  • dear passionate87

    all i can see is a humble person in his heart for a very long time already. ring any bells?

    hope it helps u to have faith more on him as i see his putting all hope on you

    gud luckk

    yy



  • none others i can see

    grab the chance when u have it when mercury retro goes direct>> starting from 12/09/2010

    gud luckk



  • Incorrect, aquarians and gems are major guilty of the disappearing act too.. big time. ! I have been guilty of it and boy.. it really does mess people up, i know. But we have to be selfish and put ourselves first, cause we see that half a person will be of no use, we need to fully recharge and have control (cause we are major control freaks !) of ourselves.

    I read somewhere of an aquarian making a gemini feel absolutely insane and in tears, yet they did not blink an eye lid at it ! Been there done that. Its aweful and never pretty.

    I have a confession in fact. There used to be a leo that was absolutely smitten for me, and at first i was just having fun flirting, and keeping it casual. Next thing, he got jealous rages and could not understand why i would not be in a relationship with him(i didnt feel like it/my feelings were quite fleeting at the time) and i went into avoidance of him and he attempted suicide but failed. Instead of sympathy, I got really angry at him and he got to completely feel my wrath.. i hardly ever get sooo angry as i did with him, he for sure did not see me for atleast a month i think.. i even missed his birthday. Just could not stand the sight of him and even till this day, i can only handle being around him in small amounts.

    Being an aquarian PLUS having cancer in my natal chart, i can go for monthsssss at a time if i am pissed at someone lol or just ignoring them

    My own bestfriend, i think i avoided her for 5 months !

    She is very used to it now, if she has irritated me

    We get along better i think, with lots of space.. shes a scorpio and is very very emotionally erratic at times, too much for me to handle, it like destroys my peace of mind lol. But at the same time, shes heaps of fun, i love her.

    She attracts lots of cancerians and geminis haha

    "If he does come back (not holding my breath) and makes a decision to want to be with me, can he be trusted? Would there be the hot/cold, push/pull? Again, I am curious to know."

    Well.. you must get ready for the push/ pull

    They are very sideways..

    once you have the better understanding for them, you will not feel the kick too much, but being pisces, a way i can relate to how you may feel is that i have venus in pisces.. so can be prone to being sensitive but i will never show it. I will just disappear as it were, so i can get over it. And i ave the highest expectations of love and what i'm looking for. When the reality does not fit my illusion then i feel a lil disappointed and go to move swiftly on.

    But be wary he may not always giove you that feeling of comfort / stability /'feeling of being looked aftered' that you may need, whilst he will care for you.

    Especially since they can be very moody..

    The only way to get them out of it is to joke around with them and keep it light.

    You must keep your sense of humour about some of the things they do/say lol

    As you may have read, for the past 3 days i was completely ignoring my bf. lol

    And today he called, i answered.. even though i was convincing myself not too.

    but i'm glad i did.

    I think i do the push/pull thing very so often when i need to analyse how i feel.

    And if they don't pull me in the right moment/amount as it were, then i drift further away until i feel comfortable to come back again, if i i do come back.

    You said he was really soft with you to begin with ? Both my brother and i do that..

    but when it gets intense, my brother gets arguementative/starts winding them up, and i get distant.. like completely so aloof and i will be fine by it..and find comfort in it. He will sometimes try to probe jealousy from them or stupid lil things just to instigate a reaction.

    But then suddenly after a while, he will be really really nice to them again, and be a complete dork..i.e make them laugh a lot etc lol he thinks he s really funny and sometimes.. erm i guess he can be 😛

    Its so funny how people are saying that cancerians will diappear and when they come back, they act like nothing happened. That sounds like my phonecall with my taurus and yet i'm an aqua.

    HOw much does an ascendant sign in your chart really influence you ?

    Oh and he went to a stripper joint but didnt actually have any one dance for him apparently. I poledance too so i'm very openminded about it to a point, my concern however was that it seemed he was playing a lil game trying to make me jealous(judging from the way that he chose to go about it), and i wasnt in a mood to play any ridiculous games with him. So its nothing to do with trust.. i do trust him. I just demand respect, and that he would be secure in himself to not feel the need to want to provoke negative feelings in me, in order to know that i care. I couldnt understand why he felt he needed to be on the phone to me at the same time, you know ? That was just odd.

    Oh and i'm not looking to settle down, god no way. Way too young and the idea of marriage doesnt really appeal to me.

    But back to you anyway,

    At the same time, be sure to pay yourself lots of attention too, like i said previously, he has to figure you out also and he can only do so if you're simply being, however hard for him it may be ! Only way in which you will finally find someone whom you can truly be yourself around, and they love + accept you for also the parts that are not so easy to love ! Lady gaga said it best eh.. "I want the deepest, darkest, sickest parts of you that you are afraid to share with anyone because I love you that much.!"

    Dont be scared of irritating him off etc etc .

    Just be true to you !

    x o x o x o



  • And by the way, i'm english but i have a second home in aus 🙂



  • @yuyu78: well I've known him for a year and from the first moment he talked to me he fell in love with me. he told me he never felt this way with any girl before as he never been in a relationship but just went on few dates with girls but never had a girlfriend. he said i am the only person he can talk to about everything and never gets bored of. but I am still scared as my previous relationships were really bad abusive and one of my exs cheated on me so I could never trust a guy anymore. but this guy seem scared of commitment he doesn't want us to be in a relationship eventhough he tried so hard to make me go out with him and be his girlfriend from the very beginning but 2 months later he broke up with me saying I deserve someone better. but he never let me go cause whenever he comes around he treats me as if I was still his gf.

    his venus is in Gemini and his moon is either capricorn or sagittarius i am not sure of the time of his birth.



  • @passionate87

    I'm not sure abouyt a romantic relationship but i can tell you of mine and my brother's relationship with my mum, since there is lots of emotions involved lol

    She is always trying to make us feel bad for her and to look after her, but we're quite independant and we KNOW that she is capable of looking after herself especially since of all the pickles she gets herself into and she always lands on her feet no matter what ! So we feel liek he sometimes seeks to get attention from us by playing on any lil health concern etc, she will exaggurate it even more, to have our attention, since we're both quite independant and require lots of space. Our family .. us three.. we're not very close and if anything .. he is more closer to her than i am.

    But she smothered him from when he was a child, so he will always feel slight need for her emotional attention and she will always give it to him cause she likes to feel needed. Sound familiar at all ?

    What i'm saying is.. don't smother him. He will rescue a damsel in distress alright, but he expects her to walk on her own two feet after he has metaphorically 'carried her away' from the burning fires so to speak !

    I was quite amazed the other day at my brother when he was fretting over telling my mum something because of how she may emotionally react to it.. i said to him. hey quit it, its your life, she is going to fret anyway, dont give her the option or opportunity to control you that way.

    I said to that to him because he needs to learn to stand on his own two feet and make his own decisions, and then take full responsibilty for them.

    I think maybe you got a lil over emotional about that.. and ofcourse he cares but maybe you should not use emotional tactics like that to gain attention from him, trust me he will see through it or feel pressured/that you're being too clingy/attention seeking.

    Hes not gonna fuss over you unless you're actually dying in a hospital or broken all your limbs 😕

    Just be light and airy around him.. Caps needs reassurence i find.. and i always upset my mum by my lack of any symphathy lol. but the kinds of things that she gets upset about oh my god lol i have to tell her to get a grip and stop over reacting ! She even gets upset if my brother or i oppose her opinions or dont take her up on her offers. She ends up spoiling my brother with expensive gifts to get his emotional attention and then gets very upset with me when i tell her buying expensive gifts will not win my love, that it does not show me that she truly cares. There is such a wedge between us lol which is to do with part her weakness.. she will do anything to feel wanted. And then get upset when she doesnt feel the reciprocation of that. REmember love is uncondional. If you're gonna tell this guy you love him etc.. remember its not always about him loving you back.. if you're gonna show you care, he isn't oblidged to show it back. Only if he truly means it and feels it ! And sometimes, you simply cannot hold it against someone if they don't.

    I think it could work for you both, if you can toughen up a lil. 🙂



  • Thank you for explaining 🙂 well I do require lots of attention and if he doesn't do what I want him to or doesn't say what I expect him to say I would just argue with him saying he doesn't love me and all. he gets bored of that I am sure but he is just patient. The thing is, I have always been in serious relationships where my exs talk to me about marriage but with this guy it's like he was honest from the beginning he said I am still young i am only 22 I can't get married or think of marriage right now. I am a very jealous girl to add, I always doubt his relationships with his girlfriends and whenever I see him adding girls on facebook I go insane and I would wonder if he is dating any of them. I know I've got issues but it's because my previous exs trained me to think of guys this way. I can not trust any guy now and I really want it to work with this one but I don't want to look like I am trying so hard. so what should I do?

    I just called him to say hi, he seemed sweet asked me how was my day but I sensed he was not at ease i asked him if he was home so he said he was not home I thought he might be at his friend's so I should not embarrass him so I said bye and that's it. but sometimes I feel he is cold with me and I go crazy then cause I would think it is over. what should I do?



  • omg..these cancer men! My cancer guy and I had a fight. We didnt talk for a few days and then I texted him and said I wanted to get everything straightened out. He called me. When I brought up the question I wanted to know the answer to he FREAKED out. He got really defensive and started cursing and saying my question was stupid and that it was "whack" and that I was just trying to get cool points and look good for other people...omg. It was horrible. I couldnt believe he would talk to me that way. It hurt so bad! It was so bad that I told him to forget the whole damn thing and hung up in his face. I then texted him and said I would never ever forgive him for talking to me like that, our relationship was over, that he was a liar from the beginning, that he was turning into a mean and bitter person and if he didnt get his life together he was gonna end up with no one because he keeps pushing away the people he loves. I told him to lose my number because I was erasing him from my life. He called me about an hour after that, and I ignored his call and texted him to leave me alone. I know he's been having some stresses lately, and I think that may have something to do with how he reacted to me because he has NEVER spoken to me like that before, but i feel that its no excuse for treating someone you say you love in that way. He was very disrespectful of my feelings. Very. I feel like I should keep him out of my life. At least until he apologizes and even then it will take a while for me to trust him again. I just dont want to talk to him and I think even if I dont, if he's sincere he'll find a way to apologize. I just dont know what to think anymore.



  • This happened to me before with my cancerian guy but he did not yell nor curse but he " like a crab" went back into his shell and I did not hear from him for like 2 weeks then he popped up again lol. I came to think that maybe cancerians are afraid of serious relationship maybe it has to do with the fear of hurt one day or I don't know but seriously my guy doesn't want us to be exclusive even though sometimes he spends two or 3 days in a row talking to me about 24/7 so I'm like if he is seeing someone else wouldn't he take some time off me?

    They come and go but I am stuck because I did not know how to make it work. I've got issues so this has stopped me from moving onwards in my life I still fear break ups a lot and cheating as well.

    I don't know people say cancerians need to be reassured all the time of our love to them and we should shower them with love and attention but well I am a cappy and I want that too! and I showered him with love and affection but sometimes I feel that i works others I feel it is pushing him away from me.



  • LOL piscesstam hahah You reacted like how i would have if someone were rude/disrespectful to me, right down tot the ignoring of phonecalls hahaha

    I do this with my cancerian brother too if hes ever disrespectful towards me lol

    And he will always come back around and be all soft towards me later, and offer to buy me dinner hahaha !

    You reacted well. Honestly, you should stand up for yourself and get the respect that you know you deserve.

    From his point of view however, I feel he will reflect on his actions and it seems he was carefully picking his words to irritate you.

    Whenever my brother is stressed/pissed off, he will agitate people around him just so he can have a fight or a heated arguement lol I would tell him where to shove it but my mum however, she gives him the reaction hes looking for and he will go to town, upset her and then slam his door, and you wouldnt hear from him for the rest of the night, except for maybe his music or banging around in his room.

    The difference between you capricorn and you pisces with your cancer men, is that one of you is standing your ground for your own needs, and the other wants to put their needs aside to understand the cancerian..however in doing so you're upsetting yourself, because you're not feeling neeed.. which is what you need !

    @passionate87 Cancerians love women that stand up to them.

    I think relationships aside, that you need to work on you. You need to rebuild and become a stronger person, .. i mean you're scared of losing the one you care about, and ultimately it is your fear that will push them away. So why not take a chance in the dark.. trust them.. and so what if it hurts .. feel the fear and do it anyway. Because i think it takes a weaker man to cheat, than it takes for a person to put their trust in someone. I'm not saying be naive.

    But you need to not settle where you're not happy.

    At the same time, you need to let go of your past. If you dont learn your lessons, you're gonna keep repeating your mistakes till its finally got to you,. the message that the universe has awaiting for you. Its that saying.. if you keep doing what you've always done, you're gonna keep getting what you've always got !

    By the way, it sounded to me liek as though you were checking up on him also ? Don't do that. Myb mum does it with my brother and it drives him insane lol

    Maybe thats why your cancerian was acting awkward.

    You need to focus on you, keep your head busy, get yourself out there, join a gym, dance classes, anything../ take your mind off all these emotions, and instead find another outlet for them. Don't keep nagging at him.

    Remeber, regradless of their starsigns, guys what the girl whom is having the most funnn ! You will even notice a change in your mood once you find solace in being by yourself and doing your own thing. And your energy will change too, infact others will even start to notice it and treat you different !

    Trust me on that. Let me know what you decide and how it goes : ) x o x o

    PS sorry for all my types, i really dont want to backspace anymore.. its too risky 😛



  • oh god I am having troubles posting and reading posts too



  • Ethereal27,

    You are a wise young lady!!

    Call me crazy, but I just don't get it?

    Is it simplier to say, if cancerian guy was into me, he would have moved heaven and earth to be with me? I know they move so slllllllllloooooowwwwwlllly!!!

    With them being distant, wouldn't they want to be with you and not let time lapse incase someone else came along?

    I am sorry, call me old.......I don't understand.

    He bought up the not wanting commitment thing, but why doesn't he simply just end it rather than just being distant.

    Have I confused you more?

    I don't mean to be a pain, just trying to justify the actions here.

    Hope things are better with your man.

    Where in Aus is your second home?

    Piscesstar



  • god 😞 why can I not see any of the new posts? 😞 I am sorry guys if anyone is replying to me I really can't read any new post



  • ok now I could read new posts.. weird :s anyway thank you Ethereal27 that was really helpful. I am convincing myself not to call him everyday. not sure how many times a week shall i call him though lol but anyway i will just let him feel that my world does not revolve around him and that I have got other things to do in my life than just pampering him and checking on him everyday. maybe I should just be his friend and see how it goes eventhough i am scared that he will find someone else 😞

    maybe i should just wait for him to want us to be exclusive and not bring up this matter to him all the time. after all i can't force him to get back with me and the good thing is, he did not have a gf after we broke up in November last year so maybe that's a good sign, I don't know

    anyway how is it going with you?



  • I'm a cancer. It took me a long time to realize that most people go about things in a very different manner than I do. Cancers are very empathic in nature, can read between the lines and understand most people without having to be told much. They can sense your emotions.

    @Piscesstar. "With them being distant, wouldn't they want to be with you and not let time lapse incase someone else came along?"

    They are distant to figure our how they feel about things. They also want to be your "one and only, there is no one you will love more than me" person. If someone else comes along while they are being distant, a cancer will be jealous but it will also mean you didn't love them enough to wait or fight for them.

    "He bought up the not wanting commitment thing, but why doesn't he simply just end it rather than just being distant."

    What does a 'committed' relationship mean to you?

    A huge turnoff to most of the Cancers I know is defining of a relationship. Most likely, if you become bf/gf you will have expectations of what that 'title' means. Thus you may begin to feel entitled to things like time spent together, number of phone calls/texts per day, doing activities we HATE but you enjoy, etc. This is a loss of freedom. A trait shared with Aquarians and Geminis. We love our freedom. If we chose to love you with everything we have, it will be our choice to do it, not because you expect it. You have to be worthy of love like that, also why cancers are quite selective.

    Cancers more or less like to go with the flow and make decisions based on how they feel. Those feelings change often. Negotiating and working out what a committed relationship means is grossly literal. Yuck! "I like you. I want to spend time with you. I don't want to be exclusive, but I'm not seeing anyone but you." Why can't this be enough for people?

    Let things happen naturally. Live your life and don't be too dependent on a cancer. They like to give of themselves the most when it is not expected of them.



  • @shellshocker: What you said was AMAZING! now I understand why my cancerian guy doesn't want to define our relationship. He always tell me why do we have to say whether we are a couple or not so I told him doesn that mean we are just friends? he said hell no, I told him then are we a couple he said well let's not define what is our relationship we're cute this way and I am not talking to any other girl but you. but i insisted to know why can't we be a couple I guess that turned him off for few days.

    but what I hate about him is that he ignored me the whole day and just call at about 4:00 a.m to ask me to get online so we can talk. I feel like how could he spend the whole day without thinking of me and then just think of me before he goes to sleep. and thanks to my stupid doubts I would guess that he just wants a booty call at night and that's all he wants out of me.

    But still cancerians are hard to understand. the come/go - push/pull kind of thing is still not understandable!



  • Shellshocker,

    PERFECTLY understood!!

    I get it now!!

    Thanks for explaining this to me.

    I really like the thought of going with the flow especially in relationships.

    We actually discussed this, and then 6 weeks into our friendship thats when he bought up the "not wanting commitment". I got scared thinking he is just using me etc.... my insecurities took over, when infact, I was okay with that.

    With him going into his shell, I took that as him rejecting me, and yes my ego/pride got squashed! I am sensitive and felt hurt.

    I was with my first love for 25 yrs, its hard for me now to give my heart away again, but I like to someday with the right man. Right now I just want to enjoy life and see where it takes me.

    I didnt want to rush into anything with cancerian man, but at the same time did not want to lose him from my life.

    I have been getting on with my life, I can't sit around and be sad and wait for him to come back.

    The great thing now, thanks to you I have a much better understanding, you really put this in perspective for me.

    I am not even going to think about him coming back, if he comes back then I will take it from there.

    Now I have inner work to do on me.

    THANKYOU SO MUCH YOU SAVED MY SANITY!!!!

    Piscesstar

    Thats how they should be, I just had issues with why all of a sudden no contact?

    especially when there was no pressure.



  • Passionate87

    DITTO!!

    The great thing is we now have clarity!

    Thats why people say if you don't like who they are, then move on, its actually very simple!

    Good luck to you

    Piscesstar



  • Shellshocker,

    Just one more thing.

    In your opinion, do you think the cancer man will come back to me?

    Piscesstar


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