Please give Insight and clarity

  • I am a female, Gemini, Virgo moon, Scorpio rising 59 years old. I am asking for insight, clarity and guidance. My childhood was a tough one, I was married in a very unhappy situation that I allowed myself to become a doormat with little self-esteem. After I divorced 3 years ago, I felt free and extremely happy. I knew I made the right choice. Soon after that, my father passed away ( I was his caretaker), couple months later, my sister's husband died unexpectedly. She has many issues and health problems. I was just enjoying my life in my home and suddenly I had to stay at her house 4 days and bring her here for 3 and on and on. With a stroke of divine intervention, the house next door became available and now my sis lives there. Through an invitation, last September, I went to a small town I lived in 40 years ago. I saw a fellow I used to like and dated. When we saw each other, there was an incredible connection. It was like I was struck by lightning. There was such energy and a feeling like home. It felt like I was floating. My friend I was with said everyone had to have felt the energy and she said that we both looked like we were floating. 40 years ago he told me he was married and I refused to ever see him again. I left the town shortly after and went to business school. I literally closed the door behind me and basically forgot everything. I could not even remember on the way down there why we broke up. Since my visit, I have remembered much and have been in touch with feelings that were sad and good. I must say that it has been a healing for me. Dark corners became light. Wouldn't you know it, he is married again. I have joined a famous dating service to find a kind, fun, gentle man that loves and adores me. Honestly, I can't help but think about the one 40 years ago. I will not be a 3rd party ever. I had it done to me and it hurts. I really love people and it is not my intent to hurt anyone. I know I have an inner strength that has helped me throughout my life and I often think of people that have come into my life that brought kindness, happiness, or help. I try to do the same for people I meet or the wonderful friends I have. I do feel blessed. My question to you is do you see a kind, fun, gentle man in my future? I look forward to your insights. My deepest thanks.

  • What has the 40 year old connection said to you about his feelings? Are you in touch? Because I am also feeling the strong connection there. I feel you were too young and immature to handle each other forty years ago but now the time is ripe for re-connecting.

  • Wow! The electricity was unreal. When we saw each other, I felt his heart jump into mine. No, I am not in touch. Yes, I was too young and immature. I sometimes turn around and expect to see him. The feelings are strong. We live in 2 different states about 150 miles away. Geese, here I am 59 years old and I feel like a young girl. I have never experienced feelings to this magnitude.

  • I think you should stay in touch because he needs your help at the moment as he is dealing with some very unpleasant issues in his life and could use a good friend.

  • Dear Captain, I have had the same feeling but I did not want to be a hindrance in any way. Thank you for your insight. I really appreciate you taking the time and energy for me. My very best thoughts to you.

  • Wow, I did get in touch w/email. Just a friendly hello and he had been on my mind and hoped he was ok. He said things were going well, business doing good, and off to a trip this next week. I guess my instincts were wrong. Wishful thinking, perhaps trying to capture my youth, yada, yada, yada. I truly believed I was listening to my heart of hearts. I feel I was kicked in the guts with reality. Damn.

  • Things are not going well for him in his home life but he is too embarrassed and guilty to dpeak of it. Your instincts are right - what is wrong is your friend trying to avoid dealing with the problems in his life by ignroing them. Travelling helps him get away from things. Keep up the contact - he will gradually open up to you.

  • Dear Captain, I think I had one of those famous "ahh haa" moments earlier today. I have spent a great deal of time and energy in an unhealthy marriage, care-taking for relatives, and I have not balanced my life for my own needs. If things are not going well for my friend and he is too embarrassed and guilty to speak of it--that tells me he is/was cheating and having to live with what he created. I want better than that for myself. I want a kind, gentle man that loves and adores me! Perhaps seeing him, woke feelings I have not expressed for a long time. The dead has arisen. Do you have any thoughts?

  • No that is not why he is feeling guilty and embarrassed. He is feeling bad because his marriage is not doinf well and he is too embarrassed to ask for help and feels guilty because he thinks he is not trying hard enough. He looks around at other happy (or so they appear) marriages and thinks he must be doing something wrong. The truth is it takes two to make a successful match and his wife is pretty lacklustre about putting in any effort. He is a very faithful person (sometimes too much for his own good) which is why he doesn't run to you.

  • Dear Captain, Would you kindly give me insight and clarity? I would truly love to have a wonderful companion in my life. I have been doing positive affirmations and positive thinking and I want to share my heart with a good, kind man. I have to admit that my 40 year old connection still pops into my head and I honestly try to shoo it away. I think when it happens, it creates negative vibes "out there". I do not want to do that. I have been thinking positive thoughts and doing kind things from the heart, but I feel in limbo land. Please help.

  • Whoa! I just sent you the above message and when I sent it. I see you commented on my prior one. Giving what you say--what do you feel the outcome is? Respectfully.

  • I feel you two can be very good friends now when you both need support and nurturing and companionship. As for anything more, just go with the flow and see where it takes you.

  • Dear Captain, Thank you!

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