Female Cancer Torn Between two: Taurus or Virgo?

  • So I've been highly confused lately, I broke up with my taurus man three months ago, we had dated for a year and half and lived together - we have a daughter also, we make quite the cute family I think. I thought he was the love of my life, we would marry and i would spend every good memory with him, well we fought so bad we had to break up it was the last solution, neither one wanted to give up because we were and still are so madly in love. But why do we make each other so angry? we had gotten to the point of throwing things at each other and screaming in each others faces, ive actually hit him before(I know abusive), but he is the only person that has ever made me that violent, and making up was the best thing in the world and the romance is from a fairytale, which cancers love btw. anyways about a month ago i was at my friend's bday party and he showed up i was upset and still groveling for him to take me back so when i saw him i was trying to get close to him and tell him that i miss him, my friend pulled me away and another introduced me to her friend - a virgo man... he was sweet and he had caught my eye a few times before my taurus had arrived. so we got to talking and hit it off... He is so calm cool and collected about everything and is amazing to be around because he can calm my nerves within minutes. but the passion is of course not as strong probably because its new, he says that you should not push things to happen that they will happen on their own and is very into destiny, whatever happens happens.... kind of person. It makes me anxious and idk if I will be able to hold onto him since we are not dating, i dont handle rejection very well. I am very confused because I am still in love with my taurus but am starting (scared) to fall in love with my virgo, and I need help... which one is right for the cancer female? which one will give me most of what I need? P.S. I am currently seeing both of them 😞 and it feels wrong so i need to make a decision soon, for now i have cut out the sex!

  • You are attracted to earth signs because they are so stable and grounded. But when you actually get together you find those very differences between you become irritations instead. I don't feel either of these men are good for you long term but they are good for you in that they help you to become more gounded in your thinking and behaviour. Of course the negative result of grounding yourself is that those dreamy fanatasies you had about the perfect life are busted when cold reality sets in.

    You need to stop dreaming of finding a perfect life and partner and find someone who is a combination of fun and solidity and has a more compatible emotional profile to yours.

  • I think you might be onto something, Half my signs are leo and the other half cancer with one taurus sign in there somewhere, my birthday is the 21st of july so i am very close to the leo sign, i wonder if it would be better to go with the best matches for a leo... but i am not physically attracted or emotionally attracted to any of the signs, i hardly notice them at all... my problem is i am always searching, never giving up... just like a cancer..... I thought the taurus was supposed to be the most strong willed to put up with the cancers always changing mood swings. I need someone to balance me out and virgo seems to do that, Im not sure though if i had someone with the same emotional compatibility that would be scary i am a whirlwind of emotion and i feel i need someone to calm me, dont oppisites attract?

  • I didn't say the SAME emotional compatibility - I said a more compatible emotional profile to yours. Such as Scorpio or Pisces. Pisces would be very good for you escpecially if he has an earth sign or two in his chart. Someone with both emotion and grounding..

  • i do not get along with scorpio men as ive met several that have a want for more than one partner... i cant give the times but if i gave you their birthdays and mine could you tell me if we are compatible or not? mine is 7/21/1990 taurus is 4/25/1986 and virgo is 9/5/1989... I know im asking for the advice but I just cant let go of them yet... it is very hard for me to let go of anything i really want still

  • im sorry virgo's birthday is 9/4/1989

  • With all due respect to the Captain (you've talked to me enough to know, I seem to be of the same mind as barbara on this matter), even as a Cancer all of my relationships with Scorps have been downright toxic and left me very emotionally damaged. The emotional "connect" with them is a one-way-street in my opinion with them sucking away what they need and thinking that their mere presence in your life should be fulfilling enough. Yet their needs are boundless and they do whatever it takes to satisfy themselves. Pisces? LOL. They're in an emotional LaLa-Land. Can't seem to figure out what they really feel or want. Like a little fish in an aquarium swimming in circles and going nowhere. Maybe they are just too "deep" for me to understand? So be it then, I admit, I don't understand them.

    My best relationship ever was with a Taurus and, as Captain knows, I struggle with a situation with a Virgo right now. I - just like you barbara - find both signs very comforting and they calm all those Cancer emotions that swirl around inside me. The only thing that I will say, is that they can be so steady as to become a bit boring, but I think they can be lured out of their "status quo" with the right encouragement.

    I realize that in Astrological theory, the Captain is dead-on right. Scorp and Pisces are supposed to be our ideal matches, but plenty of life experience with these two signs has proven to me that there's something else in me that causes these to be very bad matches and actually harmful to my happiness. I guess all I'm trying to say, barbara, is you're not crazy. There is something about these signs that is very appealing to some of us Cancers. What to do about it, I cannot say, but it is very real and I know exactly how you "feel" in all of this. I do like Captains suggestion that a good match might be Scorp or Pisces with some earth signs tossed in. The Virgo I'm dealing with has Scorp rising, so I believe this has something to do with our inability to end our relationship even though it is really in neither one of our interests to pursue it at this time. (I have Virgo in me as well, so we connect with the earth and water influences). But it's not like you are going to know a person's astrological make-up when you meet men, so speculating on this is neither here nor there until you are well into an involvement with someone and maybe can start to figure it out.

    Well good luck to you! You seem just like me unfortunately, lol. All the logic in the world won't move you to a different way of thinking when you so strongly FEEL the rightness in the men you are involved with right now. Until you FEEL within yourself that you have made a wrong choice...well...you will keep all options open. I expect you'll be trying to figure this out for quite some time, LOL. (I laugh with you on this, not at you, I can too easily see myself in your same predicament.)

  • Well Jenever7

    I understand u on the scorpios guys, im just getn out of a relationship with a scorpio man..when we first met he was a joy to be around with, cuz we had so much in common..(we both are country ppl) we both like to dance country western so on our first date we went dancing and had a blast...Plus one thing I found out about scorps that they are all hands, touchy kissy and boy I sure didnt mind that one bit..to tell u the truth I loved it so huny bring it on more..lol Well two days after that we went a another date and it turned out nice untell the end of it his mood switched to a real depressing mood like us crabs mood are but worse..all he talked about was how he got hurt real bad from his ex g/f..I was being nice and listening to his problem..cuz im that kind of person..But get this he told me that he really likes me and want to get to know me more cuz hes lookn for a relationship so we exchanged numbers..but then after our second date he told me Im no go 4 u so u need to go find someone who is and we just need to be friends..well that kind of hurt me and pissed me off too so I felt used..So I agreed with him ok friends then...well as for the dont want a relationship part he said that he didnt want, when we was seeing ea other for the next 4 days he sure in the hell acted like we where in a relationship untell last thursday.. then I didnt see him but got one txt message ea day untell he dumped me on sunday again.. so after he told me what he wanted I just stoped talkn to him untell thursday nite he txted me and asked me if I still hate him..I dont hate him I was just hurt and pissed cuz of wat he did and me not leaving earlier..so I told him no I dont hate u and that was it untell last nite he txted me again and asked me to go to the bar that we met at.. It was real late like 12:30 and I only had a hr in a half b4 it closed. i told him I cant but if you need to talk u can come over then we can talk.. He told me Im sry for bugn u that wat pissed me off. he wanted me to pitty him and I wasnt going too..so after he got some thing to eat he told me that he was going home..but he was only 4 blocks from me and he lived out in the countryside of our town..he was drunk like always,, so I told him to get his ass over to my place cuz hes not going to drive home drunk..I was suprised that he actually came over..so as u can see the first thing he done when he got there was kiss me and was holdn my hand and so on.. then he was getn slpy so I told him to go lye down cuz he was snoring already.. he was arguing with me like all men do..lol but he did we talked for 2 mins and he was out like a log...untell 9 this morning and then he got up and left...and he told me the same thing as all the other times...I told him we are just friends and friends are there 4 ea other when we need them..but with his pity drama additued it just turned me off real fast...i had mixed feeln for him untel now its just friendship feelns..I told him that Im gona give him his space so that he can get his life in order.. but lets c if he still contacts me..So my point of the srory for someone who dont want a relationship and need his space he sure do txt me alot..Im just wondering if he still like me or not or is he just playn me again...I do care for him and still do have alittle bit feeln for him cuz we have so much in common and we get along so well like we have known ea other for a life time...hell he even farts infront of me..lol .thats how comfortable we are together and we have only known ea other for two weeks but its getn to the point I dont want to be around him that much due to his drama pity additued..but I still want to b there 4 him as a friend too..so am i wrong to do that or wat Im confused..I have another scorpio friend and his additue is alot different then the other ones.. hes more passionate, calm loving understanding etc... the one who I was seeing was like that at the beganing then he went cold and cruel...(I went out with both of the scorpio guy but became friends with the first one,) but the first one got hurt by the same girl as my last scorpio did go figures..lol Well they both hang with ea other after they found out that they got dumped and used by the same girl....lol but my friend is getn tired of the last ones pity additued too..so hes gona stop hanging with him too..lol So im get to the point are u sure scorpios & Cancers are a perfect match...cuz he is more moodier then i am..lol Well as for the Pieces I dont think so cuz i saw how they act cuz my sons ex girlfriend was crazy..lol But I did go out with two Taurus and they both cheated on me...So which sign is better for Cancer that I can actually trust any more.. Im a Cancer Libra aries.. i have a Loe guy tryn to see me we went out on a date last thursady and he wants to go out tonite again.. hes a swty but we dont have any thing in common.. he dont like to dance or country music , hes in to politics and Im sure in the HELL not..lol so i dont know wat sign to go 4.. i have another guy friend that I havent never met yet in person and we have known ea other going on 4 mos, and he become my best friend too..Hes a sagutarus. i was tryn for him at the beganning but it just turned out as good friends instead.. hes a very handsome guy too that any girl wud love to have i sure wud..lol But get to the point hes not ready for relationship also.. but when Im on a date or in a relationship he txts alot but when im not he dont...so wats the deal with this one.. does he like me or not or is he afraid of loosing me over another guy so when im with some one he lets me know that hes still there...Guys confuse me alot and its real draining to me..lol

  • Dang Tularegrl, you make my head spin with all that action you've got going in so many directions. Did you ever think about just taking a month and not thinking about any of these men? I'm serious now. I was shocked to get way down in your post and realize that this thing with Scorp has only been going on for two weeks. For all that intensity it sounded like much longer. Do you think maybe you are getting emotionally drained because you seem to keep hopping on to the next guy without really thinking about what you want in a guy to begin with? Anyway, here's my opinion on your scorpio guy (and this is just my opinion - nothing "psychic" at all in this). Based on what I've read here you need to let this one go. There are "red flags" all over the place with this guy. He told you himself he is no good for you. Are you going to listen? The fact that in two weeks he's already hurt you and got you so confused that you don't know what to do about him should tell you something about what is in store for you with this guy. More of the same because he doesn't know what he wants.

    The other thing you said, that made me cringe, was "he was drunk as always". How much does he drink? Every single day? Do you want a relationship with a drunk? Realize that if all the time you spend with him he is drunk, then you really don't know who you are dealing with here. He may be a better person sober than he is drunk, or he could be even worse. You will not know unless you deal with him sober. In the two weeks that you have been seeing him has that ever been the case? Have you ever met him sober? And I will say also, given the short amount of time you've been involved with him, I don't think you need to be there for him as a friend. He needs to get his sh it together and quit dragging his friends down with his pity parties and craziness. Maybe he keeps texting you because his other friends are sick of his stuff?

    And what you really need to do is quit being physical with him until you have made up YOUR mind what you are going to do here. A scorp isn't going to turn his back on physical involvement, even if he's not in the same place as you emotionally. He'll keep coming back for more and you are going to think "oh he must care about me" but don't bet on it. Especially when it sounds like this guy is not ready for a relationship - still hurting over his last girlfriend. As long as you welcome him with open arms he'll keep coming back for more just because he can - and he is going to have your heart so twisted up with you trying to justify all of this you won't know what hit you. You'll think he runs "hot and cold" when in reality it's just "cold", but you'll only pay attention to the "hot". I've learned the hard way on this one.

    If you're really that interested in him then the best thing I can tell you to do is back off. Give him a lot of time to figure himself out, and stop kissing on him. I'm serious now. The temptation for a scorp to get physical is too strong, so you need to control that aspect of things until you are certain about what he wants with you. The more involved you let yourself get with that right now, then the more confused you are going to get because I know you can't keep your emotions out of this if you are "touchy" with him.

    I don't mean to sound harsh in all of this, as a fellow Cancer, I think you know that I am trying to protect you here. Tell Scorp he is too confusing and to talk to you when he has his head back on straight. Do not feel bad about it, and do not worry about losing him. Realize too that he probably has other friends to lean on besides you if he needs them. If he doesn't then that ought to tell you something too. He's already sucking your positive energy away from the sounds of things. You don't need that.

    Having three major relationships with scorps and marrying one, I can assure you also, that if there is ever a future to be had between you and this scorp, he will actually respect you more if you don't just put up with his bad behavior right now. Draw your boundaries with this guy and stick to them until enough time has passed to for him to get clear on what he wants.

  • Will everyone stop relating to people as if they are just astrological signs and treat them like human beings? Just because you don't get along with one or two people from a sign doesn't mean you will never get along with any of them. And take some responsibility for making mistakes in the relationship yourself - stop shifting all the blame to the other person and their astrological profile.

  • If you don't get on with someone, instead of blaming them (although they may be somewhat at fault) ask yourself what it is in yourself that may be causing a problem so that you can avoid repeating the situation next time. It may be that these people are your greatest teachers in self-awareness and you will keep attracting the same types until you see the lesson.

  • Captain, it seems to me that interactions with specific signs do seem to result in recurring patterns of behavior - the things those personalities evoke in us, and certainly that we provoke in them. If you keep getting involved with the same sign and keep getting burned then at what point does the lesson simply become "this is not a personality type that is good for me". It's always good to learn lessons in life, but do they always have to be through negative experience? So much better to direct our energies into relationships that will bring us positive growth through positive experience. Astrology seems to be a way to explore the details of those interactions, but certainly, in some ways, it would be just as well to chuck all astrological theory out the window (as it does lead to preconceived notions) and just take people one on one in whatever form they present themselves. Their essential human-ness will come through either way and I believe we will learn our lessons all the same.

    Guess all I'm saying is that I think the idea of exploring the astrological aspects is a way to introspect on ourselves and how we relate to others. Just as often as we might "blame" a persons behavior on their sign and ultimately say "I can't deal with you", there might be just as many times that we accept their behavior more readily because we attribute it to their sign. It compels us to exercise more patience and try to understand them better before laying fault off on them.

    Just thoughts. 🙂

  • Judging someone on just their sunsign is not seeing the whole picture. And you attract certain people into your life because of the vibes you are giving out. So you must take responsiblity for 'calling' them into your life - they can be important 'signposts' of what you are giving off about yourself.

  • I think you both have a good point peoples personailities come from astrology but also develope over time so everything in our lives is a factor -parents -where we grew up -siblings -relationships, Everyone is their own person -no two are alike... so we should never generalize and put ourselves or anyone else into a category or compare them or ourselves to someone else, you are not your mother/father and they are not your exboyfriend from five years ago, etc..... I catch myself doing that on a regular basis just because im trying to make sense of it all, - I dont like not being in control and always need to understand.... we just have to learn to LET GO and just let everything fall where its going to fall.

    "Just when we thought we've found all the answers -the questions changed"

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