LACK OF RESPECT



  • Oh Wandering Wonder! WHAT A GREAT IDEA!!! "A reader reference area...could also contain a Reader's Roar section where you could talk amongst yourself about rude or out-of-control visitors..& a more restricted area where you could discuss issues and personalities and provide each other with support and information when necessary. Kind of a teacher's lounge for readers."

    LOVE that! In fact--I'm cutting and pasting and sending to admin!

    Captain of course you're right about others providing support, empathy and the need for acknowledgement.

    Just that I see threads getting way out of hand with so many people's two cents and then then both seeker and reader overwhelm come in!

    CharmedWitchBente--thanks--glad it's imagry pleases--story of my life--getting ready to Rise up from ashes yet again! Too--lots of Cancer-Leo going on and folks forget the Phoenix is both Fire AND water bird:)

    Another excellent thread--let's hope Admin takes these ideas--and maybe a Readers Forum will help make it easier and happier for everyone!

    LOVE & LIGHT & BLESSINGS



  • Cancer leo going on???? im a pisces with scorpio rising n cappy heels LOL



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  • well said laithano

    I just posted this earlier today on a thread i went on to help the swamped newbie:

    Ok guys an update. My back is somewhat better , but daily imn at a course where i stare onto a computerscreen for hours. When i get home is my head done for the day. Useable. The last few weekends ive been extremely busy helping my family. Ive practically not been home much. Lately my home is more like a hotel room than a home.

    I DID some time ago mention IF non could be patient then for them to post NEW threads and hope for the best. Im the kind of person who help ( read people) when i feel moved to, in a good place psychologically, energywise, spiritually goodwillwise place.

    Im not one who can be rushed bc thats is turn off and makes me dig in me stubborn capricorn heels. I then become an honest to God MULE!!!

    Repeated posts is to me the same as IMPATIENT CRIES to wit i hear drop all u do n help me right now or else. That also makes me NOT want to reply at all.

    What will make me help and continue IS:'

    1.Patience no matter how long it takes.

    2. Understanding thaT it may not happen when u wish want it to

    3. KNowledge like you i have a life OUTSIDE this forum

    4. Knowing i do this for FREE NO CHARGE

    5. Hope that i will resume n return n reply UR requests.

    6. That i will NOT drop everything JUST bc u want need wish me to

    7. Neg talk about me wont get ya far bc other readers sees n will recoil like human from'

    a poisonous serpent.

    And so far ......................welll ..................... time will show.

    What happens?

    Some comes on n post i want a read on my dob is so so.

    NO NOITHING on do u read at all? would u read me? NOOOOOO its wham bam drop what u do n read me. UUUGGHHHHHHHHH

    THANK GOD someone else posted asking if anyoen some had the time they would love to request as for a read.

    NICE to ask id say BUT Then again, oog puzzle of puzzles, WHY NOT A NEW THREAD?

    n ye ye prolly dont know how to yet. .............................mayb we ought admin to make a manual on how to post on forum as in make new threads like i dunno a obligatoric send when they get confirmed membership`???

    MAN!



  • 5 cents , if we was smart we´d NOT offer at all. i like the idea of the virgo lady more n more, a catagpory in which we state i read like so n i do it like so, i dont do it when so nor as so. know what i mean?



  • Dear Charmed Witch Bente, I am not a Virgo. I am all Pieces - which is why I thought I'd float an idea - instead of lay down the whole plan for forum restructuring. But since I really enjoy thinking about other people's needs so I can ignore the dishes and other domestic and real life details and distractions - I have the whole thing worked out in my head - Best wishes.

    My Respect,

    WanderingWonder



  • Hey CWB, I'm really glad you wrote this. I took a break from the forums for a few months because I was getting really annoyed by the lack of courtesy I was seeing by some towards the readers. I completely understand that desperate feeling of wanting help and answers and can understand people wanting to ask. I do too! BUT it would be really nice of people who want readings could first

    1. look at the number of requests a reader already has on the same thread and if there are already 10 pages that have not yet been answered do not add your question to the list as obviously the reader is having too many requests and not enough time.

    2. Look to see if the reader has said "no more readings please" at a certain point in the thread.

    3. Look to see if the thread is a private one between a reader and person who specifically created the tread to as for help on their own problem. Would you interrupt a private conversation like that in real life?If not, then don't do it here.

    4. Please ask the readers politely and not demand a reading. I understand that english may be a second language to some but try to say "please", "if you have time" "I would so appreciate" etc.

    5. Finally, this is personal one and something that really bothered me when I tried to do readings. I am in no way a professional reader but I did start a thread to practice tarot readings and specifically said that I would only do ONE reading in the very start of the thread. Well, only one person actually respected my wish to give only one reading and I suddenly had a line of requests for pages. My mistake was that I caved (felt guilty) and tried to accommodate more readings. I should have been more firm but thought that maybe my readings were helping people and if so, then it was worth the time. Let me say here and I'm sure most who give any type of reading agrees.....Each reading takes a lot of time to work out, see the story and write it out for the person. Not to sound a martyr but I did take each reading very seriously and agonized how to word certain things. Well, it really burnt me up when I noticed that some of the people who so desperately needed a reading from me and whom I'd spent a lot of time working on their readings turned right around within minutes of receiving my reading, telling me how right on the reading was and then within 5 minutes posted the exact same question for another reader. And then another. And then another. To this day....5 months later that person is still asking the same question and is first in line when someone starts a free reading thread. I understand that people want second opinions but come on. It is kind if disrespectful to a reader who has spent lots of time to help you for free and then you turn around and ask someone else almost immediately. That certainly made me question whether I wanted to continue readings anymore. If people weren't taking them seriously anyway, why should I bother?

    Anyway, it might be a good idea for some people to consider the efforts a reader goes through, the time it takes from their own lives etc and be a little sensitive to the readers needs as well. Readers have just as many problems in their own lives as non readers and in my own opinion, from what I've seen here, they deserve a little more sensitivity and courtesy. On their part, readers may also have to draw the line at some point and politely say, I can not do anymore readings for now and stick to it. I know it's hard to do when you want to be helpful though.



  • WonderingWandrer, fellow pisces, pardon mistake on sign, my braIn flushed (insert pull toilet to flush sound)

    I like ur whole idea babes.

    Stoney eye, what u propose is a guideline rules for forums. I LOVE it. Hmm wonder how it can b implemented in forum as a permanent rule.

    Ive more found when i post for a reading in this or that thread, 50 MORE SIGNS ON WITH IN NO TIME. n im like WHAT??? .................... do people actually watch me to see which i choose to ask, as a beacon for finding the good readers????

    What you said was ur issue stonyeye is kinda what i has happen now. I helped a newbie n well i took from one end till i was done. it took me a WHOLE day. and barely done i had almost JUST as many NEW request n RE REQUESTS. N out of my good heart ( which i outta flush n at time shake into sense LOL ) i said ill try n get to ya all BUT u MUST show PATIENCE:

    Some do, others dont. Im half mind to say sorry im gonna hang ya out to dry. Q is, am i THAt heartless or did i just wise up?`



  • Hello there Ladies:

    I just wanted to take a moment here to say I totally appreciate any of you giving a reading. There is some that have patience in waiting. Just from my point of view, I really hope everyone does read this thread. Lets be grown up ladies and gentlemen these people here are giving there time, and they are giving there gift to us.

    When you receive a gift? Don't you think that when one is receiving a gift we should be grateful. I just want to take a moment here to say "THANK YOU" FOR GIVING YOUR TIME TO US. I do say this very humble.



  • It's not people jumping in with support and sympathy that throws me off - it is when people turn someone's else's thread into their own plea for help and that's when I ask them to start their own thread if I haven't finished with the original poster.



  • I think part of the problem is that there is no orientation to the forums that is mandatory to be able to post. I am not one for rules - I tend to learn them as I break them - but when I have guidelines to follow I'm more graceful and break less stuff. Here's a super simple sample generated from reader responses on this thread:

    Behavior Guidelines and Respectful Reminders

    1. You are about to have access to a real person with a real life. Please be reasonable and responsible about how often you ask for insights or help from these volunteers.

    2. Please be respectful of the reader and the insights the reader might provide you with. Use polite language and be patient:

    a) Remember that the readers are volunteers. Be polite - please and thank you go a long way.

    b) If you would like to participate in forums that offer the possibility of a reading of some sort you may have to wait a while for a response so please do not nag the readers.

    1. People who repost the same question repeatedly need to just relax and accept some responsibility for integrating information they are given before they should ask again. Seeking endless readings on the same topic from the same, or multiple, readers is considered to be disrespectful and uncool.

    2. Learn the "levels of conversation" to avoid interrupting a private exchange between a reader and a specific forum visitor. Do not jump into forum discussions on private exchanges or set topics to ask for a personal reading - either find a forum that is offering what you seek or create your own thread with your question.

    3. Behave, BeGrateful, don't say Sh it without disguising it somehow.

    CWB, I laughed when I read your words about flushing your brain. Sometimes I think too much about not much at all and my brain can get filled and clogged and I've been saying for a couple years now that I wish my brain was like a toilet that I could flush when it got too full of sh it.

    Sorry if I am being too prescriptive on this thread - I feel almost like I'm forcing the classroom pledge here. Clear expectations for behavior and the understanding of reciprocity and mutual respect make for better exchanges in communities and tiny towns alike. You are all dismissed and get 10 minutes extra recess. Thank You.

    My Respect,

    WanderingWonder



  • LMAO !!! Well said said WanderingWonder.

    my brain flush is more heat based. Its full it boils n boom it i no flush ill roast on fumes n ill do well ...................what does a cooked brain DO???



  • BUMP



  • I've been following this thread since it's inception and have been paying careful attention to it. I too have been guilty of hopping into a thread to ask for a reading and hope that I haven't offended in the past. I will definitely be more considerate in the future. Having said that, I have created threads to request readings and have had no response and when I have seen a reader on line, have "bumped" it so that it comes up in recent threads queue. I have done this a couple times and if no response from the person I asked the question, I give it up. I figure they either aren't willing or cannot read for me or what ever the reason. Does that bother the readers when they see personal requests "bumped?"

    Another thing I should mention is that I always try to thank the reader for the time they spend on answering my questions. However, as you pointed out, some of these threads get so long that I eventually quit checking them. I know I have waited for answer on something and when a week or two or three goes by and I've been skipped over or the thread has just gotten overwhelming, I quit checking. The problem with that is if my question was answered at some point, and the thread is huge and I have dropped off of it, I won't be aware of someone spending time to answer me and I cannot thank them properly. So, if anyone has ever answered me and I have neglected to thank you for it, I apologize. It is not in my personality to not thank someone for their time.

    I can say that when I was new here, I followed what others were doing to get a reading done. I lurked for a while and then got up the guts to post my own question which got a couple responses but not a reading, so I quit doing that and jumped on other threads.

    I don't know how much Admin will support any new guidelines since we just went thru a big lesson on what constitutes a personal reading and what they will allow. Many readers who were here are no longer due to what Admin said was inappropriate. I think that the services the readers give her are invaluable and in no way conflict with Tarot readings but that is just my personal opinion. Thank you for all you do and for helping get where I am today. I am truly grateful.

    Blessings, Aunt B.



  • It doesn't bother me when I see personal requests bumped as I may not have seen them first time around. Sometimes people post requests for me in sections that I don't normally visit so I don't see them at all. I usually try to answer all posts that have my name in it or are particularly drawn to. If posters don't get an answer first time around, I would suggest they might try revising their question or thinking on it more as it may be something they can answer themselves or that will be answered in a short while through their own experiences.

    Spirit doesn't like to give answers to questions that the person has not put any thought into about acquriing their own answer within themselves. Also I will stop answering someone who keeps asking the same question over and over as they are obviously not thinking for themselves or moving forward. Sadly I have seen posters here stuck in the same situation for a very long time without applying any of the advice given to them.



  • Also when people bump or answer their own thread, this removes them from the "Topics with no replies" which I check every day.



  • Good points Captain. Thank you!



  • Thats good to know Captain, here I thought I was doing someone a favor "opps..."

    Hugs.Peace, Light and Love

    Sheila



  • I too am not bummed by BUMPED in threads. As theCaptain said, we may miss them otherwise. Sometimes even i have myself bumped it to make OTHER readers aware bc i felt the initial asking party has a special need that i was unable to help with.

    All in all what truely bugs me is the assumption we read everyone n all that moves. Say if someone started a thread and boom many jumps on with asking the reader AND the thread starter is it ok i loa ur thread n ask whom u ask, and reader is ok i ask here first.

    Then the other bug is the when we go in to help a newbie reader thats swamped, n automatically everyone thinks ohh wow she he reads as well lets bombard even more.

    in past ive ( looks out nervously) jumped on threads but it was marked upon by a reader who made a debate of it, kinda like this one, bless her lol, and since have i ALWAYS asked the thread starter AND the reader is this ok, n ill await ur yes or no b4 i post more info for the reader to need.

    i see VERY few who does that, all is ee is BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM request request request request n so on, and NOT 1 has asked, do u read everyone or do u have a limit.

    Ive sat here thinking this morning and, by god even 10 pages is too much, considering many only leave hi im so n so my issue is with darryl dob 10.2.1989 his 30.6.1990 fo example or simply my dob is 7.7.1992 what u see for me

    i felt forced to barge my way back in line. so along the disrespect many has there is also RUDENESS. I mean in stores would ya truely cut in line of someone else?

    Another is the assumption when someone has asked for us specifically and within shirt time 30 has also posted assuming we read all that crawls.

    HAhaahahahah i just thought of something ahahahahaha like I ONLY READ 5 PAGES REQUESTEES or first 5 person who writes on gets a read i dunno when nor how but time will show, so if u dont mind twiddling ya thumbs till i get my act together sign on.

    hahahah could be fun to mess with em. then again many who comes are so far out in dispair that joking is poor taste. sad.

    Only about only thing we can do is set up criterias, as ok im gonna help this newbie out BUT i will not take on ANYONE else who has signed on from page 17. Haggis if i know ill get to my baglog on the thread an newbie darling started.


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