Yep! Another Gemini Man Thread....Help!
I have been here for months reading alot. I'm mostly interested in the threads that have to do with the Gemini man. I'm in love with a Gemini that I work with and It's been a year since Iv'e met him.
We had an instant connection and intense attraction for each other the first time we met. It would be a very long post if I was to go back with a year experiences with this man, so I'll just summarize some facts and post questions at the end. I really need help and advice from those of you who are experienced in a relationship with a Gemini man.
We are NOT together as a couple
He has a GF (a pieces) - That relationship is a rocky road by his own admission
He lied to me at first about even having a GF...Said He didn't have one...then later admitted he does.
We get along wonderfully most of the time (He loves to play games..tic for tac and is a merciless teaser)
Other times He becomes distant when He feels I'm getting too close
He comes around most of the time when He and GF are fighting
He sends me mixed signals all the time (Hot and Cold)
He has made it clear that he has feelings for me...but not exactly the depth of them.
We are both guilty of playing games (I'm tired of them now)
He has gotten jealous of other men who are interested in me
He knows how I feel about him
Truth is I'm in love with an emotionally unavailable man but, I can't seem to let go or move on. I simply don't want to play the role of a "fall back girl" or The Other Woman. So in essence I too have put up boundaries towards him because of my own personal values and integrity.
I met another Gemini man (Gemini # 2) and he reminds me of Gemini #1 in alot of ways. He has asked me out a few times, gave me his phone number and I have suggested a few future plans to get together...but I can't seem to bring myself to follow through because of how I feel about Gemini #1.
Here's a few questions I have:
1. Should I just take a chance and go out with Gemini #2 so that I'm not just waiting around for Gemini #1 to get his crap together?
2. How should I react to Gemini #1 when he plays his little mind games with me.
For example: He will talk about other woman just to see if he can get a rise out of me or see how I react. I must admit I have shown a little frustration when he does this...and He just sits there and laughs at me...Why does he do that?
Anyways...I'm confused and hurt and I need some encouragement to help me get to a point where I can move on because I feel he will stay in his relationship with GF and keep me hanging.
I know without a doubt we are meant to be together, but until he makes up his mind our relationship is at a stand still, and I can't wait on him forever to make a choice. I'm somewhat embarrassed because I know I need to move on...but it's so damn hard when your in love with that person.
Partial Astrology Charts:
Me: Sun- Leo Moon-Virgo Venus- Cancer Mercury-Gemini Rising-Leo
Him: Sun-Gemini Moon-Leo Venus-Gemini Mercury-Gemini Rising-Aries
I can say that honesly all Gemini's will ahve that type of affect on women. Think who ever is involved wii go thur things. It never easy.
Thanks Worthy... I've read quite a few of your post regarding your own Gemini and everything that you say is so true and I can relate. I think what bothers me the most is his indeciveness. He knows that all he has to do is say the word and I'm there for him. I can't do it anymore. Life is too short.
Hahahaha oh man... gems
It all gets kinda predictable in the end, don't you think ?
Ahhhh he must truly be driving your leo self absolutely nuts, i'm aquarius with ascendant in leo
Ethereal27 you are right it does start to get predictible. Agree with you totally. Once you have learned this, it does not hurt as much and you know how to deal if you decide to stay. Sooooo predictable. Mines is so tic for tac.
GenuineLeo all he has to say is the word. They are afraid to Love or to be loved. I really get that from him. He's the only one that knows how to push my buttons but right now it's not about that.
Ethereal27- Yes! He knows exactly how to drive me nuts!...hence the mind games and the "chase" Really if you stand back and look at it all...It's quite hilarious. He truly is a Peter Pan...lol I think another element that strongly plays here is our Moon and Venus.
My moon is in Virgo and Venus in Cancer. His moon is in Leo and Venus in Gemini...eek!
So truly... "In love"...I act like a Cancer and He is Gemini all the way! But Thank God for my Virgo elements/characteristics... I don't think I could survive without them. Right now romantically speaking I've gone back into my shell. He will know this and try to pull me back out again...It's happend time and time again, and then once I'm out...He runs and hides, then metaphorically speacking he will say to me "Can you see me?"..."Can you see me now?" I find it rather cute but totally insane all at the same time...lol
Worthy - Yes they are afraid of love period. It deals with emotions, and Geminis can't deal with their emotions, let alone anyone elses emotions. He made me cry once and he froze up..would not approach me...Let things pass by for a few days...and then bam! He walks up behind me and gave me a bear hug...His way of apologizing I suppose. I don't want to make all this sound bad because really we have a very playful and fun relationship...It's just when he goes cold on me or the twin is out and making sarcastic and thoughtless remarks...I tend to let that slide because I absolutely hate confrontations. The only thing I can really do now is go with the flow and let destiny control.
If you tell him you deserve better and you are not going to play games with him anymore, it will trigger him to try to prove to you wrong. At that point you need to stand your ground and ignore him to show him that you mean business. Geminis hate being ignored and it will drive him crazy. He wont ever take you serious or respect you because you have showed him your weak emotions. Let him go for now so that you can get yourself together and maybe you can be his friend later on because you dont need him.
Hello" GenuineLeo" Oh dear when i started to read what you wrote , actually everything you wrote i started to laugh, really laugh, seriously i could write all that you wrote because i m living the same deal, well Mine doesnt have a GF if he did i be out of door long ago.
well i took the door anyway, too much games and too much time wasting trying to figure out what is happening in his mind and mine,
sometime it's nice to live an happy moment with someone that saw you how much they love you and how much they care
with Gemini, they just dont, they play games and games to saw you that they dont care when they do
If my gemini had a girl it will be too much for me to stay around, anyway i have a lot threat concerning Gemini, just look at my name and you will see them
i also came on here before to get answer about Gemini man and i have now find out about it
I gave up and get back to me and looking for a love that give me more satisfaction and less stress and confusion
i think the worst side to be with them is when you are together is great really, it's great but then you get all kind things that spoiled the moment
you only live a piece of a beautiful puzzle and it;s puzzle that you may never get together and out of the happiness you get with them , the amount of trauma and emotional roller coaster you get it;s crazy
when you start to really look back what you get from the relationship you realise that it's not worth it for you and you are losing the love you got for yourself
well thats my thought anyway i prefer to be with someone that make me feel loved then someone that play games
when mine leave is always because i told him i leaving and he will come with the best phrase ever
he will tell me oh i met someone and she got kid etc and i want to be with her, in same time he say goodbye he also tell me the things i want with a man
speaking to the twisted twin
anyway i m done, good luck with yours
Demmiee...Thankyou. Your absolutely right. He has been avoiding me for 2 weeks now..but earlier today I ingnored him...and guess what?...Yep...Came to see me this afternoon but, I sensed he was toe dipping. I also sensed he wanted to talk but, my friend was with me so the conversations were trivial...but the atmosphere was surreal. People might think this is crazy but, He and I communicate telepathically when we open our minds to one another. Anyway...He hung out for awhile and the whole time I wasn't giving him much attention. After he left my friend said he was checking me out the whole time...lol I knew this would happen so I'm raising the bar a little more. I think sometimes you have to take risks and this is one I'm willing to take. Only time will tell. In the meantime I'm focusing on me. Thanks again for your advice.
Sorry for the typos above.
when I found out that he did in fact have a GF I backed off, but that made him chase me harder,,,lol and as you know it's really hard to resist a Gemini's charming ways. He makes me laugh and makes me happy when he's being the sweetheart I fell in love with. At first the games were fun...we made it that way...more or less teasing each other, but both of us are guilty as of late for playing hard ball and tic for tac. I don't want it to be like that..and down deep I don't think he wants that either. So all I can do at this point is back off and let him totally do the chasing...but this time around I refuse to give in so quickly and easy. If he wants me and wants to have anything that's concrete he's going to have to work for it. I'm done playing the games. I think I deserve to be treated with respect and like I said before, I refuse to play the role of the fall back girl or TOW. Been there done that.
I'm so sorry things didn't work out for you and your Gem. You deserve to be happy and I hope you find a man that will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
Thank you for sharing.
Hi" GenuineLeo" thanks for your words, the separation was difficult in way but i more happy now then ever. i can see things more clearly.the roller coaster with him was really not worthy it and most the things that was happening was in his favour and not mine at all, in one strange way i was ok with him but as soon i met him i felt down all the time, not happy, not safe, out balance and not knowing where to start
whatever i will do, i never win, as soon we get close something will happen that we will get separate again
we may see each other day and then BAM something happen and we wont see each other for 3 weeks and this how it's been
i m sorry but i dont agree that it's hard to resist Gemini Charm at all
i think it feel hard because you havent figure out what is happening and sometimes when you like someone you forgot to look how you are really feeling about the situation
if My gemini told me he had a girl, thats it for me i coudnt go to sleep every night and thinking his maybe sleeping next to her right now and she is his girl and not me
it will be too much for me to bear
about the connection, well i know what you mean about that but again when you are in love you believe all kind things and it's those believe that bloick your eyes to see the real things
I was like you before but i had to face reality and face how i real felt with this man and what i was getting from it and what i wanted from it
It was hard to see that in reality of things i was not getting anything then my illusion and speculation that we had a connection, that he liked me, that this and that
When i look most the time i was alone, when i needed support i was alone, Where is the man that i love, why is he not here with me? No most the time situation like this Araange Gemini man they are not losing anything and you stay there waiting for them, living inside a dream they give you
They like to chase and they dont like to lose opportunity, the time he chase you, he still keeping his girlfriend what kind chase is that
they know how to flatted and charm people around them well and seem to be expert to hold woman in waiting list
but if you loved yourself more then him for a moment you will see that this man is not filling all your gaps
Life is so short, and before that Gemini i met a lot men that offer me more real connection and support and not just an image of it
when you sleep with them, laugh with them, this is easy for anyone to do
but someone that love you for real with just leave his girlfriend and simply not have a girlfriend and we show you real commitment
when i separate with mine i use to think he will miss me, but when you are inside a game, there is no missing, there is just control
you control the other person and pull them back and push them out when you feel like it
i dont really understand why so many beautiful women go through this period
if my Gemini man told he was with someone thats the end for it, i need real love and peace with myself and not living an insecure relationship that can break at any times
With Gemini man you simply never know
when they love you they say goodbye and they dont care they sleep with you
when they feel their girlfriend doesnt give them what they deserve they start to date someone else in the back of the girl
basically they never lose, they always get what they need from her or from you or from someone else, all this time in your mind you think we are so close and so connected , but exactly how?
what if you become his girl later and he do what he did to her to you, how would you feel.
A man that run to another woman as soon its though it;s a child that havent learn to face his responsitblity
he must go home to her and feel guilty he sleep with someone else, then make up to her by sleeping with her or something
then he see you and feel guilty he slept with her because he kind like you
in way he live the perfect live to have the twin life, have 2 women in his life, for him it's perfect and confusing
but for you it's pain, and small piece of joy
i most say i didnt go through with this with that Gemini man, thing didn't go far but i m happy they didn't because i couldn't live like this, i couldn't
i m not judging you here, please i hope you know, i m just asking you to think more about it if you can, if you cant thats ok
in this game they always win, they get their desire met, they may feel guilty of it but they get what they need from you so why would they complaint about the situation, they see you got you all weak and not able to request anything from them
Gemini man are so childish they need to learn to take responsibility for their actions but they seem not able to do so in this kind situation
check my threat: i hate gemini man and also help my gemini husband
i spoke to so many women here that date or married to Gemini Men, they dont change, they keep seeing other woman and keep staying with you too, kids or not
something is just not right
but depend what you want from it i mean some people are happy living like this but most the women i spoke too they are not happy at all but they seem to not be able to break this dance of charm and illusion to belong to them
i miss mine every day since we break up, i have to keep myself busy all day to keep the thought away but i feel more positive with msyelf since things are finish and i finished them.
i had to be though with myself and real about my real need, about my need to be with a man that can be there for me, a man that can show me love without deny and game, a man that doesnt force every week to be distant with him, to have those long breaks that just torture me
i need a man that want to be close to me and doesnt make me feel his just using me
a man that make me laugh and when i go home i remember the nice day we had, with the Gemini he always spoiled it after by bringing the game
he drained me of my energy
i look back to all my relationship and this was so far the worst of them all and this was a very short connection
but i decided to stand by what i feel i deserve, love or not, i need to love myself and feel safe with someone
i didnt feel safe with him at all
"and then once I'm out...He runs and hides, then metaphorically speacking he will say to me "Can you see me?"..."Can you see me now?" I find it rather cute but totally insane all at the same time...lol "
Hahah yes it seems they're always looking for acceptance as it were, for their crazyselves
I think its sweet in a wierdddd way haha
But thats just my aquariusness speaking lol
Does he act all 'superficially' vulnerable ?? Like does this sound familiar..."omg you're ignoring me now ? :("
(But really, he knows its because it'll make you feel bad and want to reassure him that you'd never do such a thing ! )
And then, queue his disappearing act. hahahah
Ahh i know that move all too well lol. But then learned to do it back, and he falls for his own game.
Theres this saying "The meanest people need the most love".
Imagine if you were putting up a huge wall.. and you were determined that you're not gonna let anyone in, and if they manage it, its because they truly deserved it, for trying their hardest to break it down and succeeding with patience and kindness.
All astrology aside, I imagine that is what we're all like, in our own ways.
Its easier said than done, but i think no body is perfect, and the best loves are when you find someone who can handle you at your worst :). Gems included !
I think they really crave understanding... always in search for the perfect understanding and acceptance.. but at the same time, being given a chase to keep them curious/a lil nervous and wanting more. Its like you have to be able to change too, as swiftly as they can.. its like having 10 different lovers in one body, and you have to be ready to show off all the different sides to you when you get to meet with the acquaintance of these 'others'.
@star2u we're never really safe. it seems like you need the reassureness and comfort alot..
but have you not found that when you get that, you get easily bored after a while ?
i used to be like you... once. but now its so fun to finally be myself without depending on anyone to make me feel 'safe'. i agree with you, in saying that you let his energy drain you of yours.... cause its really affected you badly..
(but..like with anything hurtful, theres a good thing there too.. once you get to it)
have you ever dated another gemini since ?
@star2u Oh but i still totally applaud you for respecting yourself and loving yourself, in knowing what you deserve.
I dated few Gemini yes, they seem all the same with the same game, it's kind boring
it was brief
they all behave like children, insure , charming, not sure etc.. you know the type
Only that Gemini guy was the one i cared for, and i still care for, i first didn't love him but care for him
i didnt see him much but as soon he enter my world, i felt unbalance
i tasted the experience everyone get when involved with a Gemini man
the mixed message
the feeling to feel connected somehow mentally
the self reading that he somehow likes me ever his action and telling doesn't say that
i m sure you know the routine of all those feeling
i started to think with my Aquarius mind and get interested by the complexity of the relation
but thats was brief because i also took time to look inside of me and look how this relation made me feel
i was not happy to be involved with this kind man
a man that couldnt be there for me when i needed a friend
a man that i needed to read and interpret the reaction and the meaning
a man that seemed so unreliable and unavailable
i realise that all my connections with him and care and love was base on my understanding and dream to worship and ideal
it was never things he said or show me
i was there reading in my mind his action and understood he cared for me
but i decided to stop that and focus on the fact
life is short and i dont want to pass the rest of my life reading someone mind and emotion
i need a man that show me real love and make me feel safe
yes we are never really safe but be involved with this kind person bring more issues then it's worth
until this day i pulled out, it was really difficult because i cared for him but i was right to leave it alone
i find out that mine suffer from a personality disorder that makes him not care about other people, he only care about what he can get from other people
he see other as a pure object and thats it
Love and care is beautiful, really it is and be with someone complex is great for an aquarian but sometimes you need to be really honest with yourself and go deep in you and see how the relationship really make you feel
you need to be honest and realise that you love someone with a dream of your own, there is a little girl inside of you that has a dream of love
i wanted to be with this guy and i tried but everything good that i tried was blocked by him, destroyed
he also will do those game: see me now, i want to see you
yes it looks cute, but again this kind things with time is just not enough for me
after a while i feel he just playing and doesnt respect me to have a life or if he wanted something real he will just plan it
i hate feeling like he want to see me when he want and when he have a small gap to fill
i left it alone and i m so happy about it
i cry , i hurt my heart for a while but this man was never going to give me any piece of what i needed from him
i hated the forced distance, always happen when i needed to be hug and be together
most time if you look closely you are alone, i mean we all are but when you love someone and suppose they love you or care for you, you want to be able to pick up the phone and ask them to come
but with Gemini you work at their game and when they are ready to give you time
of course after awhile you feel you playing their own game back to them but i couldn't be bother
if i love you i say i love you, if i dont like you i say i dont like you
life is too short to play game , it;s tiring and it drain your personality
you live with the doubt in the back of your head every night maybe this, maybe that, maybe he love me, maybe his with someone else right now, why he didnt call, why he say this and did that
GOD i so cant be bother
Gemini man are kids they need to learn to be responsible and be responsible toward themselves and other people
they are not good to understand feel and to deal with it but still they are good to collect number and make the whole circus wait on the line for them
when they are ready they call you and when they come they give you a great time but it's brief
it's fun, fun fun
they leave mystery behind them and a massive Fan club that wonder night and day about them
everyone get a small piece of them, they dont really lose out
the love mind games, saying two different things in the same day, this is a great control trick because YOU the other person are never sure what they mean and you interpret things byt what YOU want to understand
YOU cannot hold them responsible for the interpretation you got in your own head because they never really said anything about what you think you know and what you think you understood
they are just brilliant to keep the whole population guessing
this is because people are too busy focusing on them and forgot to refocus on their own real need
the need of intimacy, closeness, love, and friendship
people cant see that they are not really getting the real thing but just an idea of it
Gemini men are the perfect LOVER, CHARMER because women made them this way
they also can come out of the relationship easier without feeling any remorse because all that happen happen in your head, they just showed up and took a seat and watch the show, YOUR SHOW
Gemini or not, i really hope any woman involved with a man, can try to remember why she is with this man and what she want? i hope that she will stand for her worth and value and ever she feel the big love, she can take the courage to put her trust on God and God will bring her a better love. i hope she get the courage to let go of her fear of lose and speak her mind, ask for what she need without feeling that the man she find cant handle it or it;s not right to ask.
and i hope she will find a man that tell her nice thing and do nice things for her
and she feel appreciated and she feel safe in the love she find then playing mind game that can sometimes bring two side of truth and the meaning can maybe not be clear
Star2u You're totally right, all gems that I know of seem to make the 'love' and relationship sides of things so much more complicated than it needs to be. They're nothing extravagently special, if i'm quite honest but the 'puzzle; as it were is fun to begin with, at the very least. I like dissecting things apart but sometimes, i just don't much care to know anyway. It seems this behavior confuses my gem, cause his 'game' does not have the desired effects as it would to anyone else. I don't know if this has much to do with my chart.. but theres lots of 'pulls' from other aspects of signs from my chart.. i.e sagittarius in mars, venus in pisces, taurus moon, leo rising. (My sagittarius in mars gives me a sort of standoff-ish hot temper. I think he likes that side.)
I like my gem but i (without trying) flirt with other guys all the time, he probably knows this(and did have a slight issue with it to begin with) but as much as i could fall for him, theres been sufficient amounts of heartbreak for me in the past to allow me the strenght for which to do it all again. I don't mind getting hurt, sometimes the strenght that comes from it, like a new self, is exactly what I'm looking for to improve on myself. I will chase him for only so long, and I'm sure he now realises I will move on fast if he takes his time or tries to waste mine. Like today for instance. I asked him to come watch a movie with me(just casual), and he said he needed rest so i was really quite alright with it(i cant even rember the last time i saw him, maybe a month ago haha), i was already on the look out for someone else to watch it with me, when he suddenly changes his mind and asks me if i still want to. i asked what time was he thinking of going, and to which he just never responded. So i publically asked myfriends, and an ex of mine whom is also a friend asked me to go with him, and so we arranged. I then recieved a another msg from my gem saying he had fallen asleep and just awoken. It was quite late by then(im guessing he was gonna use that for an excuse to not go), and by that point, i was already watching this movie with someone else. Later when i checked my phone, i had tons of missed calls from my gem, and a message saying he wanted to talk to me. I got home soo late and he called again and again.
When i answered, he wanted to know everything. Suddenly he wanted to know why i was 'falling' for him and explanations for everything and what do we do now. I don't wait around for boys. I give it my all, after getting over the emotional fright of whatever intensity i feel for them. But if they don't grab the chance, i still stick it out with no hestitation cause i know I'll move on freely, and they'll regret the loss of something very real and sincere, they'll always remember it, so it'll be their loss entirely. He started telling me how he doesnt want to 'play' me around or hurt me. But that he has never found anyone he truly cares about, and what an aweful horrible person he is. I told him well in which case, theres no need to care about hurting me then. He said he likes and hates me at the same time. when i asked what he hates.. he named all the positive things about myself hahahaha. I told him it was cute and humorous in fact, that he'd pick the things i like about myself. I translate that as : he fears my strenght.
He said to me "you're really nice. i dont want you to settle for me" and i replied "what makes you think i've settled". Hahaha. I will never just 'settle' for anyone. He says to me "its in your best interest". What...?! So i say to him "but is that what you want ? you want me to forget you ?" And he says " No"
He doesn't quite keep me guessing, star2u. He is fragments of words, sentences, all jumbled. I see right through it all and i'm not that attached.
If you read my first few posts about the situation, at first we seemed to have played each other off. But then he couldnt leave me alone and suddenly that was the last i saw. I know he was the one getting attached. People run when theyy're getting too close. I do this myself and have done it previously to several others. Except the difference was that i get over them and swiftly move on. I didn't say it to him but i just observed. He has not moved on. I have seen other geminis just move on to someone else. He can't. He's very busy with work and he will flirt wih other girls, hahahahaha on his fb he just adds random girls hes never met, just to make him look really popular with girls ! Its so funny, sometimes he'll randomly add my friends and theyre like "who the - are you". He is all about 'ideas' of something and what others think of him. I like action more than words and I can get that. He can watch me find what i'm 'looking for' else where, the more he tries to play me around. I don't much care for what he returns.... i'm not looking for any validation from him nor anyone else. The only difference is.. he does not know that part. It keeps him playing this lil game of his. And if he were ever to come to realise it, my actions would change all over again. I think this is my venus in pisces to blame.
haha star2u like you said " you love someone with a dream of your own, there is a little girl inside of you that has a dream of love".
And then out of nowhere, my aqua mind will just filter out all the emotion... sagittarius in mars will cut the cord like a knife(I learned that this is the side to me that helps me move on), and my stubborn leo rising will not give in until that gem starts to treat me with respect and value my friendship, and handle me with more appreciation to keep my attention. and work harder for my heart.
See, Its like having a multi way personality too ! But it works in favour of
He says to me "you're acting different". hahaha and I've never once said this to him.
His 'twins' are funny. Its all funny to me. Like alice in wonderland. Chaotic and absurd.
He turns himself into a game..and i'm just as happy to walk on the ceiling.
I'm only curious...whilst with my own ways of observing and learning him.
When he smiles, ...or should i say when i go with the full intent to make him smile, and he does... I know i made him feel that and i learn what makes him smile. When i say something that i truly mean and want to reveal to him, and he eats it up.. I know he'll need it. When i do something sweet for him, and he cannot hide the affection in his eyes, with no words to speak, i know he's absorbing MY frequency. And despite all the many distrations he will givbe to himself, He'll be the one left to think about and miss me when it is ME that (inevitably ?) leaves. Just like tonight. All the personal questions, probing my brain for how i feel towards him ? he wanted validation that i was still holding out for him. I'm going to let that happen for now..as he is going to be in for something very soon. Extreme self doubt, brings extreme self awakening.
I guess for anyone else, they are looking for the security and comfort from these confused souls. Being a slightly lost soul who doesnt mind the adventure, i'm not looking for happily ever after. It is not part of my purpose with them. So many feelings and soul-felt connections that i have had and shared with others, i knew that they were not the first and would surely not be the last. This is just a learning curve. Star2u i found him 'boring' to begin with, cause the game he was playing got very predictable.
"the love mind games, saying two different things in the same day, this is a great control trick because YOU the other person are never sure what they mean and you interpret things byt what YOU want to understand". I love psychology. He once said to me "i adore and hate you !". He called me and those were his First words ! hahaha
"people cant see that they are not really getting the real thing but just an idea of it". hehe thats the fun part of it... REALISATION. They like the idea ? Give them a taste of the action. And then become twice as stronger than ever.