CANCER MALE DRAMA



  • I understand what you guys are saying but "G" does have feelings for me and he says he is very attracted to me but his past relationships have pretty much stuffed him up. He doesn't want to get into a relationship right now not because he is not attracted to me but because he isnt ready. He said that will change over time. We have a mutual friend who said that "G" really likes me but he is scared of getting hurt. I guess that is why Im still interested in "G". "G" awas always quick to get into relationships in the past but he has come to the point where he wants to step back and tale it slow. To be honest I am moving forward. I still havent caved in yet and its only been 9 days of no contact. We havent seen each other physically since the 9th july. "G" did say he wanted something with me before. When I said that I was letting him go to sort himself out and get back to me when he was ready, he freaked out. I changed my mind and he got angry. My only crime was having feelings for this guy. I know he has feelings for me. Im not ready to throw it all away but Im not going to make myself crazy over it. Im meeting others and so who knows. People Im meeting, I have said to them Im not sure what I want right now. Im not even sure i want a relationship with "G". Ive never actually asked him for that. I just wanted us to date each other. Thats all and see how it goes.



  • The last time I was with him, I could tell he still likes me and he said he still has feelings for me. Doing what I did scared him off. :G: is really the sweetest person. He has known my mutual friend for over 8 years and they are very close. Our mutual friend wants us together as well. "G" is stubborn but "G" also said to me he wants to change. I made a comment to him that I dont ever want to change you as a person and he said he wants to change and he wants someone to help him change. Im a good catch and a good guy. Anyhow, if its meant to be will be. He is going to have to chase me.



  • And i want to add that we both agreed to the space thing. When I said how long, days weeks or months. He said he cant control that, maybe weeks. he made first contact less than a week.

    He did this early on and said we need space. I was expecting to hear from him a week later not 24 hours later. I asked him if he wanted space and he said i give him all the space he needs. That was early on.

    Tonight going out with some girlfriends to a bar around the corner from his place. I dont really want to go but they insist. I let it be known on my facebook that I will be at the bar.



  • Have fun with your friends tonight at that bar, and lets see if G happens to be there since he does live around the corner from the bar and you the post it on facebook that you will be there. if he is play cool keep it casual like you said let him chase you and if its ment to be it will be. Keeps us posted goodluck!



  • Hi, no he didnt log on to facebook and so he wasnt there. I had fun. Im off to another party tonight. Its weird, 10 days no contact it is no easier. Im finding it very tempting to just send him a text message. im trying hard not to.

    I just spoke to our mutual friend. I asked how "G" was and basically he didn't say. I said "G" has been online but we havent spoken to each other. Our mutual friend said to give each other time, too much romantic bullshit in such a short time.

    I dont know what he meant by that. Sounds like he is a little pissed off with the whole "G" and I thing. I didn't want this. I didn't want to be interested in someone. I was fine when I had no attachment.

    I really think "G" being on facebook and liking my status was his way of trying to get me to message him but I didnt. I guess he has pulled back himself.

    Why do matter of the heart hurt so much. I hate it, I really do.



  • I texted him: Hi, u liked a status of mine on fb and not sure if that was a way of you reaching out to me. I just want you to know that I hope you are well and that Im thinking of you. Have a great shabbat. Ur friend" E"



  • Octoberlibra leave the guy alone, respect wht he asks for dont read into nothing he says or does let him reach out to you. let it be. Im going through the same thing as you believe me, Im dying inside becaz I love this guy so much and even when I go out I dont enjoy myself becaz he is not there. when i wake up he is the first thing i think about , sometimes all day. and the last thing at nite beore i go to sleep. but i can guarantee u one thing I doubt highly he thinks of me the way i think of him. But i leave him alone trusdt me its hard but I do it. I deleted him off my facebook, I dont go no where I know he bound to show up, I basically vanished off the face of the earth. He keeps reaching out but I didnt respond back. I dont say thst the way u should do it I just say leave the guy alone, cry if u have to, trust me I feel like my poor heart has taken a beating for a month I cried. So its not that I dont understand I do.



  • UPDATE: He responded to my text message.

    Hi "E" 🙂 I liked your status because I like the fact that you had gone ice skating and enjoyed it. i have been thinking about you. i am so busy at work now, finally becoming a true high-tech guy 🙂 but i enjoythe work. i guess being devoted to my work makes me happy because I am more happy now then I have been in years. How are you.

    I replied: That is great news. im happy to hear u are happy. I mentioned i didnt go skating yet due to a friend breaking her arm. im great. been busy catching up with friends in jerusalem and tel aviv. off to a party in jerusalem now. its great news about you. stay happy because you deserve it.

    though out the night we sent each other text messages. i kept the conversation light. He was texting me back straight away too.the last text message i sent him around 1030pm was its great to hear you are happy. have a nice evening. He replied good night 🙂

    im going to keep my cool. im not going to contact him for a few days. he says he is happier. the reason he didnt want us together was because he wasnt ready. i aint pushing anything. he may still want to stay the friends line.................i have new lease on things. i want to get it right this time.

    what do you guys think I should do from here? step back, play it cool.

    thank you for all your help.



  • he made a comment once, he wants someone who will stick around when things get tough. im still here. i really want to get this right and win him over again. i know deep down in his heart (he has said he does) have deep feelings for me. if i didnt think he liked me, i wouldnt have wasted my time with him. i am a lot calmer now and really ready to hold my tongue. i could have lost him but i havent.

    my 10 year relationship was tough at the start. i stayed on the path and we ended up together for 10 years. we are still best mates to this day. the other two relationships were easy to get in to.

    i think that "G" and I having these problems now is similar to my first one relationship. the harder we work to get together, the better chance of a longer lasting relationship. i dont want to mess this up.



  • I am happy that you calmed down and that you managed to keep the conversations light. Good on you.

    As you said go with the flow. 🙂



  • Hello Flowsco, I didn't hear from him at all yesterday. The funny thing is, I feel like telling him goodbye.'ve gotten to the stage where I'm like had enough. I don't have time for his game playing. Im an air sign, what the hell am I doing with a water sign.

    My only crime was liking the guy. If that is such a terrible thing, stuff him.

    I have many others wanting to date me and offering me exactly what I want. Anyhow, I didn't mentioned that when he sleeps, he snores like crazy. Oh my gawd, its soooooooooooo loud and he stops breathing in the night that woke me up. I'm thinking, do I want to put up with his snoring for rest of my life?

    I'm a good person with a big heart, I need positive people around me, people who appreciate me.

    Threre is this attachment to him. The longer he doesn't contact me or reslove this, the more I'm letting go. I'm still going to date others. I'm going to give him another week and if things dont change. Its goodbye. I'm thinking that the other guys left him because of his mood swing. and his hot and cold attitude. Really I think he is the problem not the ex's/

    Thanks for responding.



  • Hey, Octoberlibra!

    I took the time to read through the postings concerning you and you're Cancer Male, and from it I gather two diffrent points of view...

    Although you want to tell him goodbye... It's still seem this man isn't going to leave your heart or mind. A long while back on this thread someone mentions that the best relationships are founded on freindship - so goes the saying "best friend and lover." I understand how utterly hurt and upset this back and forth has made you and how you've already put in an extreme amount of patiance.

    But reading you're posts the damage has already been done - both ways, to him and to you. You NEED to bring the level back down to friendship if you're ever going to have a healthy relationship (and that reversal would likely take much more time than it did for you two to get where you are now) Friendship contains a greater buffer/room for mistakes, errors ect. Its a more solid place of healing, freinds are much more likely to forgive and forget, wereas lovers the problems will only continue to fester. If you haved cared about him enough to put up with all this suffering, then I have no doubt you have the devotion to do what it takes to back the situation down to square one, give his friendship thing a fair shake and wait a little more 🙂 You sound as though you're doing great with keeping things light, already, but you're going to need to make that casualness uniform throughout. If you choose that route you're going to need to excirse nausiating emotional control and if nessecary distract yourself from any romantic notions.

    My second thought: If you feel the relationship can never be healthy...well alright then. If you know you can have a healthy relationhsip with someone else - then certainly do not deprive yourself of it. But that means no more conatct with "G." Else you'll be carrying on TWO emotional relationships.....and one's unhappiness made spread to the other. You need a clean slate, a new start from the sounds of things. Be happy, take one of those other offers - and it's sounds like he'd be happier too. And you can be satisfied later knowing you ade a change that put you both in a better place. Who knows you may find in a few years that you may come in contact with him again build a freindship and mutually decide to move forward with your relationship. After all you may be better suited to one another sharing a level of jading that he said you lacked before...

    If not you're better off with a diffrent partner. My only advice is to start much slower the the next one don't let you're heart get ahead of itself 🙂 It's hard I know, when you fall hard there's not much you can do...but you know whats unhealthy now so you can avoid it in the future. You've got options! Best of luck to you with "G" or with whatever you decide to do.



  • Octoberlibra,

    The reason I read and responded in your thread is because I too was in a testing relationship with a Libra. I too went for the friendship route and gradually things were comfortable enough for me to open up to the relationship faze.

    As in your situation we both have been hurt badly for him by a recent relationship and for me a longer period back. I wanted to know the man and let him get to know him. Of course impatient as you are he is. And I figured if the grass is greener for him then let it be so.

    Recently something very simple and probably miscommunication or plain rudeness I don’t know got in the way and I got very mad. I stated what annoyed me and then said that I need to forget about him if this is the way he behaves in friendships. After cooling off I must admit both were guilty of what happened. And I decided to semi apologize and explained my behaviour from the beginning up to now.

    We both have reason not to entirely trust the opposite s€x on any level and it seems to have gotten the best of me. So here I am guilty.

    My friendship is still on the table but I seriously doubt I will ever hear from him again. I dearly miss him as a friend and I haven’t played games with his emotions.

    So I understand your need for positivity around you and people who appreciate you. So did he and basically so do I.

    We haven’t been intimate to make this a bit clearer to you and to me we covered most area of a relationship through phone contact and a lot of talking and finding common ground. I haven’t brought negativity towards him whatsoever but this just tipped me.

    Now we can blame it on the stars, eclipse, moon whatever.

    Your guy I don’t know what to add. As I said before you know you and him better than anyone.

    And you are entitled to put the week limit on it. Do share with him that he is on his last probation. Wouldn’t surprise me that he not knowing would contact you afterwards like nothing is wrong. I don’t know how you will respond then.

    Oh...it’s not a crime to like someone. It’s a crime to feel alone in the liking. 😉

    What Gemenipuella wrote as her second thought. I agree with. You never know how thing will turn out but however you look at this you learned something. I took my previous learning which was take things very slow with Libra and it’s been almost a year from the moment I met him. I don’t regret taking it slow....I only regret that I might have thrown away a beautiful blossoming friendship.

    Astrologically I asked around and we were compatible. So it’s not all cut and dry air/water thing. I am a Scorpio, Gemini Moon and Virgo rising. He is a Libra, Pisces Moon, Capricorn rising.

    Okay sorry to be talking about my situation. Whatever you decide to do....let it be good for you.

    Take care.



  • Uhmm I have a nack for writing typo's. Sorry if you run into any of them.



  • Gemenipuella thank you for taking time to respond to my post. Everyday I feel different emotions. I really am taking it day by day.

    Today in Israel is Tu B'Av its Jewish Valentines Day. I just left a cup cake with eatable red hearts all over it and a small card on the doorstep of "G". Now I think, why? Why did I do that. Is he really going to ever appreciate it? I really do not know what happening with me.



  • That's called love. Enjoy



  • Flowsco: I really appreciate you sharing your story with me. I'm a Libra Sun Virgo moon Gemini rising. As a Libra I can tell you, if I ever fall for someone and we break up, I never forget them. They are always in my thoughts. Maybe the LIbra guy will feel the same way. If someone has touched my heart in some way and if they haven't hurt me seriously, I will always have some feelings towards them.

    The guy from Canada who abused me, I have no feelings for him at all. I think it is a LIbra trait to hold grudges to those who truely hurt us.

    Today is Jewish Valentines Day and I left a love heart cub cake and a small card on the door step of "G".

    He use to text me everyday but since the "SPACE" thing I didnt hear from him yesterday at all. I don't know texting him "i seen a crab while walking along the beach and I thought of you". He wrote back "Hehehe I look like a crab. How are you"....... I wrote back "a cute crab, Im great and how are you". He responded "Im going to a birthday party". that was it. Did my cute comment put him off? Im thinking it may have?

    I'm usually not want to rush in to things. I dont fall in love easily. This case its different. Maybe because I cant have him is the reason I want him. I feel like running away.



  • Dose the friendship route lead to a relationship? I think it could go either way. During the friendship route, how do you hold your emotions in if they start dating and sleeping with others? I don't think I could handle that.



  • He still hasn't called me. I don't even know if he got my cup cake. I tried to call him but he didn't answer his phone. Usually if I call and he doesn't answer, he will call me back. I'm so tempted to text him and say " You win "G" I concede. Youre free, good bye."



  • Update: Its all too much. I gave hiom a cup cake today and I never heard from him. I finally have had enough. I tried calling him and no answer and so i texted him. "ive failed your your test, you win, i cant play your game anymore, goodbye". Its 1144pm.

    I deleted his number from my phone, blocked on facebook and deleted all his text messages.

    Now I get a phone call which I didnt answer. Followed by 3 text messages.

    "Hi how are you. Sorry I didnt answer the phone, I was in the gym. Im having a shower now and going to sleep. Thank you for the cup cake, happy tub'av to you also. i dont know what exam/game you are talking about so you couldnt fail it"

    I didnt respond. The otehr messages: "When did you drop it by because some of the cake is eaten, maybe it was my flatmate or the cat."

    Excuse me WTF is that. I ain't having any of it.


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