CANCER MALE DRAMA
You say I should reply? A friend said no, it's only been 4 days and he has to miss me. She said he will text me tomorrow to see why I am not replying to his text. I hate the game playing and I want to contact him but than again I don't know if I should. I missed him like crazy this morning.
Your game playing will make things worse.
So i messaged him. Kept it short. Im ok, how was your trip away
i messaged him, got into text messages and now i made it worse. i said to him, i feel i will never be good enough for him. he said this behavior is not good for me or him or anyone. the more i behave like this the more he feels the need to let me go.
The last line was a mistake. its he make him want to let go.
it makes him want to let go.
yes, what have they done for us? why is it all about them and their sensitivity?!
I have dated a cancer man since Jan (almost 6 months). I am the most cultured, fun-loving woman he has ever dated, let alone knows. I am older than him, but he has had older than me.
We both had broken up badly w exes last August, and we were ready to laugh and enjoy someone. He assured me that he would never be interested in her again, she was not a nice person. I had some feelings fro my ex but less and less because my cancer man made me feel accepted and wanted and loved. I thought.
He said I love you first about 3 1/2 weeks into it, I didnt say it back, I was surprised he said it so soon. for me love takes time. I felt pressured. evently about 5 weeks I said I love you back. He had the biggest smile on his face.
I have to metnion, we live in different states, but I travel back to see him (and family) once a week or every other week.
not long after I said I love you and I couldnt help saying it all the time and hugging and touching and telling him how wonderful he is and how much I love him, he started distancing himself.
calls came less and less, he didn't call when he said he would, he'd call once a week or every 10 days. but we still saw eachother, however, he told me that he doesnt have alot of time, because he has work and kids (from earlier relationshipos) and he aslo needs time fro himself and he said if he does decide to date someone esle he will let me know).
he would often times refer to me as his girlfriend. though about 2 months in he said something very sarcastically, "Oh you want to be my girlfriend?" I sadi well do you want me as your girlfriend and he didnt answer me. he said it in a nasty tone. he also said another time again same tone "are you in love with me?" and I said NO. and he just laughed and brushed it off.
those were the only 2 nasty things that came out of his mouth, but they weren't normal things to say and the wayn to act, it was weird. I still have yet to call him on that.
we obviously like one another and there is alot of sexual chemistry and passion. Then he said we had *** too soon, (3 1/2 weeks into it) but I could feel his head was someplace else, I felt he was hodling back and I was getting insecure body issues though he said he likes my curves, and I asked him about not feeling he was present during *** and He eventually told me the ex he works with is on his mind, (he sees her every day and it is hard for him he feels bad the things and he wishes he could take back the things he told her but he cant and he said he doesnt mean to hurt me he knows how much I like him and he is sorry he led me on. WT*******!!!!!
I was surprising cool and calm, I had tears in my eyes. But I felt his genuine saddness, he was crying hard. he went outside for about 5 min came back and curled up next to me, but I rubbed his back and let him be alone on my bed. I felt hurt, but I thought he needed space, when really I think he wanted me to hold him, I wish I did, but instead I was hurt and thought of what he would want (wrong move, think of what you want). anyway, he said he loves me and he pushed the friend things since then.
I told him with tears don't throw away the potential fro true love, the stars read that we have the making of a fairytale love, and I believe it, btu not the way he is acting now.
he also ignored me after that. I chased him fro a week, calls and saw him on the street, and made him talk to me, then he said he doesnt want a relationship, and I showed up at this house the next day telling him that i wanted him in my life and we hung out and rubbed feet and he picked me a beautiful bouquet of flowers from the field across his street and he got thorns doing ti, I took it back to ny w me and took such good care of it, and told him how much I love it.
(i notice when I tell him I miss him, or sentimental things, it turns him off and he runs further.)
I brought the bouquet back to Pa w me
Anyway, the week of his b'day he called me at work and said sexy thigns to me, things friends don't say to one another (confusing) I told him I wanted to see him on his b'day w his family ( he is always wanting me to meet his family from early on) I called him the day of ans aid HB. I made him a delicious cake and gave him gifts he wanted (oh yeah, I made the mistake of buying him things early non because he has no money from childsupport bills). he said he knows I like him adn I said yes, I am not afraid to say it, then he said I know you like me alot and I said NOW WHO TOLD YOU THAT and he laughed. he said is very jealous and he has been hurt so much in realtionships, that he doesnt trust anyone, but he doesn't mean me. He said so many of his exes cheated on him, I said you dont know me (I didnt get the chance to add, because he never took the time to really know me, too many head games, and emotional manipulation). I went to hug him and he said he doesnt get hugs that often, but an older woman at work hugged him on his b'day (I am always hugging him--he upset me with that remark, he made my hugs fell invalidated) he said it's not fair to me to be with him sexually because I am a friend and with that said I slowly got up and said I have to go.
He walked me to my car and said that he was going to call me in 2 days to go out. He gave me a kiss on the lips. (I know he felt I was pulling away) I wished him again HB and sang to him. He laughed. I tried to make it special for him ( I also said a few slightly biting things). It has been 12 days and no word. (oh yeah he knows that I am in town for 2 months).
I feel angry with him, for being so wishy washy and throwing away the potential of true love.
I don't even want to answer his call iof he deos call. I did tease him on his b'day because I was tired of his game. push-pull and I felt he wasnt showing me warmth as I had for him. esp sicne the last time we saw eachother we were all hugging and sweet and tender (after our argument)
so, here I am confused and alone and so sad. I felel that he played me and he hurt me fro all the cheats and hard women he had before me, I have given so much of myself, my love, my mind, my body, my words, my time, my effort, my thoughfulness and my money.
In such a short period of time, I have never felt such closeness and appreciation and acceptance, as I did in the beginning with him. I gave too much too soon, after he said he loved me. and I told him that at frist I was scared, but I realized I was being foolish because a gorgeous man who is a beautifully sensitive man loves me and I am not about to turn it down. he has pushed me away, his bs drama act.
I am so hurt and upset, he has to beg me back.
he is the one making mistakes. he is playing with his own drama mind and with yours. he isn't being true. he needs to grow up. and express his feelings openly and honestly and take chacnes in love. love is a chance, not a game. hopefully loves chance can become fully explored.
kmuse..............i feel extact same why. i wish i could just let this person go but i cant. i have other people banging down my door to go on dates. seriously i do. i dont want them i want "G". i just feel like going away somewhere, leaving my mobile phone and computer at home. i have also been hurt by love, 3 times. i had a relationship from hell after i split with my ex of 10 years. i met a guy, moved to canada and he physically and emotionally abused me. i was all alone in canada. i had no friends and no support. i finally got the strength to leave. i met someone a year later and i pushed them away. he was a cancer and he stuck to me like glue. we only lasted 6 months. i was happy being single and without any attachments and now this. i wish i didnt let my guard down. i have such strong feelings for this person. this is someone i could fall in love with. i could with a hug right now. youre not alone.
he always says im good looking, handsome, funny and a great guy and i will have no probloem finding another person. i dont want to hear those things because they dont mean anything to me, its what i feel inside thats more important. looks will fade than what.
how do i get him to grow up and admit his feelings for me?
KMUSE If I didn know better I would swear that u two are playing the role of me and my ex. your story is exactly like mine down. wow. In the end the son of a no good went back to his ex who had treated him so badly. your story is so similar down to the part where he didnt have any money and I had to ffot our dating bills. I really thought he loved me. You know one thing i realize with cancer men in the beginning they are the one who always want to profess their feelings first and seemd to want to hurry things along and then when you respond its as if they werent the one who started it first. I was in no hurry to fall in love with my guy head over heals. I was willing to take it slow caz that was what I was taught. men dont liked to be rushed. so like you about 4 weeks in our relationship he brought up the fact that I never told him that I loved him. I was so amazed at him caz many men wouldnt bother about that. that was when I started to fall for him thinking that was what he wanted, but he lead me on and string me on like a damn puppet on a string. and now althought I havent contacrted him in a month my poor heart is left in my hands. Im sorry for my poor heart it has taken a beaten. But forums like this has helped me thankk God, everybody else is fed up of my story. What broke the camels back was whne he finally found work I noticed he was not interested to come see me no more and talking about saving his money. OMG this son of a no good. Girl if I could find Voodoo for this guy, not to get him back or hurt hime, but to repay every cent i spent on and more. Im not usually like that I dont give and then want back but this guy is such an ass***** .
Hope you feel better becaz for me I felt like such a jackass and totally blamed myself. Are you friends with your guy?
Im so fed up right now. Im so tempted to send this text message to "G":
Its all about you "G". Let go of me because "G" will do what "G" wants to do. Nothing I can say or do will ever change your mind. u know how I feel about you but my feelings mean nothing to you. Im not taking your threats anymore. Im serious. Do what you want. If I can leave u with one bit of advice, be true to yourself, take a chance at love because love is a chance not a game. U r someone I could fall in love with. Take it or leave it!
Im so tempted to send this and just walk away.
When I suggested for you to reply I hoped you would have kept it to one text and tell him you would contact him in a few days. Sorry things went the way it did. When people are hurt and wants to take the plunge it's scary...very scary. When a Libra screamed to me in the middle of a full train station that he loved me when I just told him I liked him but I don't trust anyone it made me want to run faster than lightening.
Now some time has passed and we still have contact but he needed to learn to slow down with me. Both of us aren't squeaky clean on the relationship department and maybe he has options like you have. If so I would want him to be absolutely sure also. Yet I am in no hurry to engage very deeply until I am totally sure. For me the interaction without the s€x is more important to me. I need to know this person. He has my heart he knows that but he is also gotten respectful to my desires.
Now not everybody around me understands my ways and his responses but I can tell you what goes on when we are together that counts.
Now everybody (friends, family, and strangers) has an opinion of how things should go or how things are going to play out but you have to start trusting yourself. Stop playing games because you seem to be getting burned already. Everyone that responds to your situation has some frustration, disillusions or issues in why they respond to you and or wants answer to their own situation. And you don't need to pick up those negative energies into a contact that is that young.
If I did that I wouldn’t be talking to my Libra or planning things for the future. Is it an easy ride? NO. Because it ask of me to bare part of my soul and to trust him with my feelings and thoughts and that when things get bumpy as it has a couple of times he will still be there. But if you believe in something you should act on your own convictions and not what others so call know. We don’t know you. You know you and you know “G” when he is with you. That counts.
If you choose to follow through let it be whatever you want it to be with whatever outcome. Ride it out and learn and adapt and continue to live and enjoy whatever this or anything else comes your way. He is in your life for a reason.
People forget the power/strength of words. The way you express it towards a person verbally or not. It has impact without you knowing if you're not conscious of it. Visualize what you truely want.
Now when it comes to communicating to him pause and think what you communicate and what you want to know. Don’t respond to every nudge he gives you because he is testing you. And if you lose it then you are confirming exactly what he doesn’t want.
One of the first things I said to my Libra...don’t expect everything at the same instant from me and don’t tug on me. Otherwise I am gone. On another occasion I told him if you flirted with me (Libra trait so I was told) I wouldn’t be sitting here next to you. And slowly (nearly a year further) I am showing bits and pieces of me.
So now stop second guessing yourself. Keep the communication channel open remember that there is an age difference between you and relax. Things will reveal themselves to you when the time is there for it. No matter how it works out you can’t force this one. And everyone grows up when they are ready.
AGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH: I sent him a text to say i over reacted. my insecurities got the better of me. Ur right my behavior is wrong.
He replies, applogy accepted. Again.
I wrote back "i dont know how to take your last text from you. Appology accepted. Agan.
He replies: Just that I accept your appology but am really tried of argueing with you.
What an arrogant thing to say. Im so mad right now.
I think you figured out that I am not a Cancer but the other dreaded watersign Scorpio that isn't a easy one either.
One thing I learned about Libra's that in certain things you are quick to move and impatient. These traits aren't going to help you.
My Libra once told me I needed a man in my life and my reply was: if he is giving me an headache I am not available.
You seem easily triggered and this isn't going to help you in any way. If you don't understand what he tells you don't reply as you did. Do you like your a two year old and ask him to explain what he said like he is talking to one.
I don't like to argue it's waste of energy because it doesn't accomplish nothing but aggrivation.
I am going to stop now...I hope and I mean that sincerly that you calm down and look at the big picture.
I asked Cancer if he needs some space and he said yes, we both need it. (I agree with that)
I asked him how much space does he need? He said I guess that until we are done with being nasty to each other.
I said,do you need days, weeks or months.
He replied. This is something he cannot control. Weeks I would say.
**Do you think I should remove him and block him from my facebook?
I wrote back ok.
What are you doing octoberlibra? You're driving him away
Relax, take a breath and stop trying to push him into something he's not ready for. Step back, go slow and see what unfolds!
He needs space, then give him it. You need space, then take it. Don't message him for a while, but also don't block or ignore him. Step back and reflect or you're going to lose him for good
I didnt write to him, should i delete him from facebook. Thats what Im asking you guys