Dear Captain...Continuation. - Thank you...



  • Hi Captain,

    Thank you for sound advice. I told you on the last thread that I deleted him on my chat program. Well, I had sent him a message just saying that If you don't want to talk to me anymore, or feel awkward and want to just NOT do so anymore, can you just tell me so I can let go. No hard feelings..I just need to let go. He then replied let me copy and paste..."The last time I saw you, you were playing poker and then when I went to chat with you, you weren't in Messenger."

    I still haven't added him back...I just responded something along the lines of ok, enjoy your weekend...

    You sound just like my sister Captain, I am just having a hard time....but I really appreciate your advice....



  • So what are you asking? My answer hasn't or will not change. Mike is not your way out of your problems.



  • I guess my question is if he "looking for a way out" of talking to me, why isn't he taking it? He magically appeared on my contacts list (but I did not add him to my chat)...I get confused.

    I know he can't help me with my problems; my special needs child..my need for someone to direct me (he used to that regarding my career)...I just want to move on and I feel that he is keeping me stuck somehow...because he won't completely let go either...(I know that is a cancer trait) and I am a true pisces...I WILL swim away eventually....just need closure.



  • He's not looking for a way out of talking to you. He likes talking to you - it does his ego good and he wants a shoulder to cry on. But he doesn't want any more from you than that. So you have to be the one to let go first.



  • In our last thread, you said that he would have never initiated it wanted a way out, and that he felt sorry for me. So I gave him an out. Also, the thought of him feeling sorry for me, made my pride come out. He may have money and social status, but he doesn't have my strengh or courage...because if there is any encouraging going on between us it is me pouring it on him. His is only in the form of career field (he is at expert level and I am a student, in a new job). But at the end of the day, he makes me cry more than any other man in my 42 years so - I feel done with it. (And you helped with that so thanks.)



  • He wanted a way out of the growing feelings you were having for him because he feared you would ask him to leave his marriage for you or do something equally drastic. But he likes the ego stroking your chats give him. he hoped his pulling back and dropping contact would send you the message that he is not available but he can't resist having an 'admirer'. Basically he likes re-living the past with you but doesn't want a present or future real relationship.



  • Aha, I understand...thx. 🙂



  • Funny how you said "re-living" the past with me. He would always talk about music that we both listened to growing up...would love to reminisce about his high school and college days.

    There is another man I talk to. I met him online through Mike. He is the younger brother of one of mike's closest friends. He has helped me through all of this mike stuff. (He has the same name... 4/15/71) he has said that he would like me in a heartbeat and keeps offering me a job. He lives in anot. her state. I don't ever tak him seriously because we have never met. And mike (my unrequited torture friend) insists that he is gay...(because he is in his late 30'S and single). I don't really have feelings for this other guy but he has been so nice and such a good friend...normally me and aries is bad news, but I am wondering now. (Me again 2/20/68)...would we be compatabile. During my brief separation, we talked on the phone and laughed like crazy. What do you think captain?



  • It blocked out the word g a y...



  • You must first deal with your present relationship before you get into another.


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