Cosmic Karma or Cosmic Truth?
For this forum I would like to be called Empressfiya. I have a weird situation. A few years ago I began to read and post on this forum. I was in an abusive relationship with a man and we had 3 children and 2 living ones. I was lonely and I wanted to find friends on the net. People with whom I could connect and hopefully get help from. I didn't find that at all. The forum and other boards on the net just provided me with a place to air my feelings.
This couple also posted on the forum and the husband was a real regular. I liked what he wrote and i felt his passion. She posted less often but always had very interesting and deep comments. One day, I had this dream of a man making love to me! I was shocked. I knew that it wasn't my children's father because I didn'g have those feelings for him at all. In fact, he had to almost threaten me for sex. I saw the back of the man's head as he left the apartment but i didn't see his face.
We moved soon after and I had another baby. I stopped posting and reading on the forum. I continued with my isolated existence. Until I had other experiences and found myself wanting to move out of the US. One of the first places I considered was where this couple lived. I innocently emailed the husband and asked him about the place since i planned to apply for some graduate programs there. He took his time to respond which disappointed me. But in the meantime he emailed me some information about local groups that i was interested in.
About 3 years ago, I found myself fantasizing about this man and his wife constantly. I blamed it on my hormones that were out of whack due to my pregnancies. It has gone on and I wrote to the husband about my feelings and situation and he practically laughed at me. He claimed that I couldn't possibly have fallen in love with him and his wife over the internet without having met them. I have seen pictures of them (they're really sexy and beautiful)and I have read a great deal about polyamorous relationships since.
I've struggled so much these last few years with these feelings. I've told no one. In fact, there's really no one to talk to about them since i have no real friends. I have been looking for help on the net ever since. A voodoo doctor asked me for $500 to help rid me of these feelings. I know that I can probably take some bach flower remedies and some other spiritual stuff. But I have no money for any of these remedies.
I read a lot of taro cards on the net. I have done a lot of the free astrology and iching but I can't get any answers or solutions to my dilemna. I am in so much pain and anguished. I want my heart and my emotions back. I cannot believe how these people have treated me. They ignore my emails. I have sent hundreds to the husband and he responds to me about once a year. He NEVER addresses my feelings directly and I get a sense that he's angry or annoyed by my feelings.
I am probably not their type since my station in life is not so good. I have no money nor am I a well to do professional. I am struggling and I have lived through a lot of hardship. It would take a miracle for them to agree to have a relationship with me. Once in Vancouver, I read my horoscope in a local free weekly paper. The astrologer claimed that as a gemini I was entering a really good 17 year span. And that many things would come together for me within the next few years. For instance, he predicted that I would find love in 2012. That's the year that Barbara Hand Clow and others claim will be the cosmic convergence. I don't know who I'll find then. I just want to stop yearning to be with folks who don't want to be with me. He is a sagitarius and based on the numbers of our births we are supposedly made for each other. I don't know anything about the wife except for her name.
Thank you for reading my post. I hope that someone can give me some insight or guide me to some help.
Forget about the couple. You are dealing with a decieving spirit. Entities can assume any form. You are not powerless, you have God given power and authority, more so , depending on who is your God. There are various entities that feed off sexual energies. Without personal power we can feel powerless. Also there are subconscious tendencies I see more so here, that maybe you wished your guy was more insightful and communicative as the man you wrote with online, and you wished your relationship was like the other couple has. Sometimes these insights and experinces come in heavy and thick. So you think yoiu are linked to the other, when they were merely a universal catalyst of sorts. It is your journey. Leave the other couple alone. Strong thoughts you might be being led there for another reason. Get control of your mind, it is yours. Sounds like you might be dealing with an entity. Tell him to leave you alone, if that is your wish. Make your decision. Pray if you need help.