Captain can I have a reading please>

  • Thanks, Kat, I try. 🙂

  • Kristaislame, your relationship with your current boyfriend will struggle to make it to the longterm and I think you know that. It is highly persuasive and convincing at first and exerts a magnetic influence on everyone around it. It encourages trust but it can also encourage dependency in third parties who are drawn to it. But curiously the power of you and your friend to convince each other is far less than the power of the relationship as a unit. It is far more convincing on the outside to the world than on the inside to the two people in it. There is a fair amount of honesty and openness between you. Yet, in certain crucial areas, facts or feelings may be cleverly hidden and true emotions suppressed. Out of an instinctive fear of getting hurt, you may choose to turn a blind eye to such secrets. Your boyfriend brings out your sensuous side, allowing you to relax and to bring your nervousness under control. A sexual attraction is likely to result in a prolonged and complicated love affair. Marriage or a deep commitment to living together however is not particularly recommended for this relationship, since if serious problems arise, you being the dreamier of the two will flee, while your more realistic friend will unilaterally modify or even break off the relationship. In other words, when things are good between you, they can be very good, but when things turn sour, neither of you may feel the relationship is worth the exhausting effort to put it right.

    With your new friend, it is best for friendship later in life than any love relationship now. This relationship works best when both parties are older and more mature as rejecting attitudes and a lack of understanding can wreck it when you two are young. Your friend can be truly entranced by you, seeing you as the embodiment of the direct, purposeful and natural person he secretly wants to be. The danger here is that, if you two get romantically involved, you might take advantage of your friend's vulnerability to your charms. With your sharp tongue and often merciless criticism, you can ruin your friend's confidence and bend him to your will, which he will then resent. However if you are a less selfish person, you can boost his self-esteem and give him direction like a guide or teacher. Friendship is the best bet here with perhaps a shared hobby or pastime. But any close emotional tie that may develop can be disrupted by mutual irritation, the cause of which can be hard to understand. One source may that that your friend will constantly need your attention, more than you might be willing to comfortably supply. You need to be free and may come to see your friend's neediness as stifling in the long run.

  • Hi captain,

    could I bother with more question?

    My ex and I just broke up because he's back to his ex. When he dumped me, he said very mean things to me. Then, he said sorry because ge had trouble (his gf).

    Heard from a friend that this girl is not a good person. But as long as she can make him happy, then it's fine.

    Mean things he said, make me very upset. It's a week now. My anger is cool down. And I kept thinking if I loose him forever both as a friend (we know each other for 8years) and as lovers.

    Will we be together? As a friend at least..

    After what he did, I don't know if I will make to first move.

    My birthday is March 26, 1985 (10am - Tayninh, Vietnam)

    his is January 11,1985 (Ho chi minh - Vietnam)

  • Hi captain,

    I think I don't need know about that jerk any more.

    I'm sorry to bother you.

    So many terrible things just happen to me.

    God, there's no easy time for me at all.

    Never ever before and now.

    What is the message that god is trying to tell me?

    Thank you captain

  • Ut_it, God and your Higher Self are trying to tell you that you don't need anyone else to make your happiness for you. You have the power to do it yourself and not depend on anyone else to do it for you. Make sure you think good thoughts. If you always think bad things happen to you, then they will.

  • Captain,

    thank you for the last reading you gave me. Love love love.. love hurts. If you have time, I would like a further reading about my ex. We did have dinner together acouple days ago. I was very excited to see him, although nothing else came out of the meeting.Well it did come clear to me that he is over me. My question is, can you advise me in how to move on. Im still in massive pain about the break up. i keep having dreams about him, romantic ones. I also had a dream about him and my bro that past away 9 years ago was with me in the dream, he was upset about the whole situation as well (hhmm). any heads up captain?

    my DOB 1-26-81 ex if needed 12-17-78

    thank you Captain.. blessing to you.

  • You are seeing and dreaming what you want to happen, not what is real. Obviously it is not that clear to you that your ex has moved on or you wouldn't be dreaming of getting back together. That ship has sailed. As soon as you can admit that to yourself and believe it, you will be free to move on. Perhaps you have unresolved issues about what caused the breakup. Has your ex told you why he moved on? Perhaps you feel it was your fault or you didn't do the right thing to keep him. It may have been nothing to do with you. People just change and want different things.

  • i wrote 2 long msg to you and it quicks me out when i try to submit it! well to make it short. he slowly detached from me. stope calling texting. last time we were together he took pictures of me, i wanted to see. Next picture i see is my ex watching a porn with his male friend ( i seeing legs) i question it and was not okay with it. week later he called it quits. after break up a reader told me that a eather he does sexual things with his friend or exchange sexual parners with this friend. I lost it, text him nasty things wich he said scared him. i feel guilt bc of that.

  • he sais the break up is all my fault. he never cheated and loved me. but i know he did have a life change, not sure what it was but thats what broke us up.

  • Why on earth would you want to get back with this user and loser? You can do much better - it was his fault, not yours that you broke up. He has a sex addiction.

  • thats what i was told before. but im so attracted to him, i was hoping it was not true i guess. i feel shock, betraid, angry, sad i dont know how to cope with it. maybe thats why im holding on to him.

  • thank you Captain for your help. 2 moths later and im still hurting very bad every minute of my day. But with your help today im able to feel less stress about this. My prayer is asnwerd. I just couldent see how i can feel better about this whole drama. thank you

  • I think you are holding on to your dream of what you hoped the relationship would be, not what it really was.

  • lol yes you are on point. I read your comment this morning before class started. And all this morning i been doing good on forgeting what could of been. Although he has bad habbits, im realy not sure if i can or will do better, as you said. He is a doctor (i know scary) and good looking. seems light hearted and soft spoken and is very giving. He realy supported me in my nursing school. thanks captain again.

  • Hi Captain,

    First off, thank you for what you do on these forums. I have been lurking so far and I am very impressed. Thank you for taking the time to offer your advice.

    I have a question. I would like to know why (in a more universal sense) certain people are in my life.

    I have a boyfriend I have been with for 6 years. I love him very much and I believe he loves me. It took me (rather stupidly) a while to realise that he's also my best friend. I believe that I am supposed to be with him as a romantic partner (if not for the entirety of this life, then at least for now and for a great deal of it).

    I also have this random friend popping up very now and then. I met him a few years ago. I am not entirely sure what purpose he serves in my life. I thought he was going to be a good close friend but we've been growing apart recently which does sadden me.

    I believe in loving people for who they are so I am fine with saying that I love both my boyfriend and this friend, but the person I want to date is my boyfriend. I also tend to mother my friends a bit and worry about them.

    Anything you can confirm about my relationships with these men would be awesome - I have my suspicions of what I am meant to experience and learn but I would love some confirmation.

    My birthdate: 21 July 1983, Colombo, Sri Lanka

    Boyfriend's birthdate: 21 March 1984, Narrogin, Australia

    Friend's birthdate: 25 January 1986, Albany, Australia

    Thank you so much, I really appreciate it.

  • Kiadri, you and your boyfriend do share an exciting and deeply personal realtionship. Its easy-going nature ensures its success in love. Marriage will work as long as a stable financial and emotional foundation is established. You may both have to give up some individual freedom and set some limits on your impulsiveness in order to provide the kind of security needed for marriage.

    You and your old friend's relationship is indeed best for friendship. You both just want to have a good time together. Anything more demanding will end up making your friend feel resentful, and marriage betwen you can be very stressful and tense. This relationship works because it can be light-hearted and irresponsible.

  • Hi Captain,

    Thank you so much. You are bang on the money confirming my thoughts.

    My current concern is how to interact with my friend. As you point out, I am aware both of us want to have a good time in our friendship and I do not wish to stress him out even as his friend. He currently works almost every possible working hour and then some for cash reasons but he doesn't seem to see that he doesn't need to if he cuts back on things he pays for but doesn't use or need. The upshot of this is that I don't see him that often and I have been given the run around by him for the past four months (he has been uncontactable).

    He has got in touch and apologised (sort of) for the lack of response on his part and there are tentative plans to meet for my birthday. And now I have no idea whether to state how mad I am at the way he blew me off before though I understand he's overwhelmed with work or to just pretend it doesn't bother me so we can attempt to enjoy seeing each other again.

    While friendships do change, I feel I am not getting anything meaningful out of it at the moment - in the past there have been hour long catch up sessions in between his work shifts and the focus is a) on me and b) on a very superficial level. We have confided in each other before but he finds it hard to open up.

    I guess I want more out of this friendship than he is willing or able to give me at this point.

    But thank you for your confirmation, Captain. 😄

  • Hey captain,

    Long time. Been going through a hard time again in life. Your blog thread gave me some good food for thought, thank you for that. I need to know. are my instincts and "gifts" genuine? And was wondering what the heck is going on around me. What spirits are there, and who. I feel an overwhelming instinct that I'm meant for something greater than I can know right now. I feel scared and just want to be the happy person I once was. Any advice would be great, and anything goes. Thank you again captain.


  • Kiadri, you are indeed doing with your relationship with your friend what I advised you not to do - be demanding. Ask yourself what you are not getting off your boyfriend that leads you to be so needy with this other guy? Are you feeling a lack of attention from your BF? It is your BF whom you say you love that you should be talking things out with, not putting unreasonable demands on what you say is only a friendship with the other guy. I think you have to be honest with yourself about your needs and feelings.

  • Serious7, what are your fears?

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